Right Fit

by Some Leech

Keep it Moving

“Yup,” Anon shouted, keeping his right arm extended to his side while he waved with his left, “keep it moving.”

With cars and trucks creeping by him, he wiped his brow and smiled. His recovery at Manehattan General Hospital had been brief, only a single day after being unceremoniously squashed by an ex-Princess, although things hadn’t been the same since he’d gotten out and returned to the hotel with Celestia. While his body was more or less uninjured, excluding a few bruises, his mind was another case entirely.

The honk of a horn tore him back to the present and sent him stepping back as a big rig rushed by him. Damn it - what was wrong with him? Not only had Celestia been on his mind since he’d nearly confessed his feelings for her, but the revelation that he would honestly like to date her, bringing their friendship to the next level, was torturous. Looking to the other side of the sprawling intersection, he sighed when he spotted her.

Larger than life and wearing the same uniform as him, a navy blue shirt, pants, and a reflective vest, she scanned the flow of traffic and fanned her face. No matter what she was doing or what she was wearing, she was a sight to behold - hell, he wouldn’t have been shocked if she could make a trash collector’s outfit look good! As her eyes swept over to him, he turned away.

This was the last place in the world to get distracted. In an ironic twist of fate, shortly after he’d been discharged, he’d gotten word that the highrise Celestia had razed was back under development. While she’d been tactfully informed that her services would no longer be needed on the job site itself, she was offered employment directing vehicles around the construction zone.

Acting as a glorified crossing guard wasn’t the hardest job in the world, but both Celestia and himself had to be vigilant. With plenty of ponies out and about, both on foot and driving, there was a lot of traffic - pair that with concrete trucks, shipments of supplies, and the heavy machinery in the area, things were even more hectic than usual. Risking a glance over at her, he found her staring dead at him.

While his initial thought was that something was wrong, that perhaps his shirt wasn’t tucked or he’d gotten some mud on himself, he knew that wasn’t the case. Looking himself over to ensure he was as presentable as possible, he frowned. His shirt and slacks were pressed, he only had a slight bit of road dust around his ankles, and it didn’t appear as though there was an issue with his attire, so there had to be some other reason she was fixating so hard on him.

He told himself that he didn’t need to speak with her, that bothering her wouldn’t do either of them any good, but he couldn’t help himself. If she had something to say, he wanted to hear it. Walking over a dual set of train tracks that split the busy avenue, he came to a halt before her and placed his hands on his hips.

With an unreadable expression, she peered down at him. “Is something the matter?”

“I should be asking you that,” he countered.

He liked to think he’d been around her for long enough to realize when something was amiss, and something was definitely off. Ever since that morning, once he’d gotten dressed in his snappy, well-fitting duds, she’d been acting strangely. She wasn’t acting much differently than normal, being far more excited about waving cars around than she had any right to be, but he had a hunch that something was up.

“Is this about your lesson?” he moaned, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand while air-quoting with the other.

Waiting far too long for a reply, he peeked upward. Her reaction was nothing short of bizarre - to the point where he didn’t know what to make of it. With a slight rosiness in her cheeks and silly little smirk on her muzzle, she flinched when he looked up at her. Assuming the heat had gotten to her, he crossed to a cooler they’d been given, squatted down, and snatched up two cold bottles of water.

It was a particularly balmy day, and the pavement they were standing on served as a heater, so staying hydrated and avoiding heat stroke was yet another thing they’d need to be mindful of. As he stood and tossed her a drink, his concern mounted. The bottle bounced off her chest and landed at her feet, almost like she hadn’t seen it, while a strand of drool dangled from her chin.

“Um ~ what…what are you doing?” he asked as she strode over to him.

Lowering a hand, she caressed his chest and gave a low, almost sensual moan. What the fuck was going on?! He hadn’t done anything even remotely sexy - on top of that, never once, not a single instance throughout their time together, had she touched him in such an amorous fashion. As he stared up at her face, a startling realization dawned on him.

The ambient temperature and the blazing sun weren’t what had Celestia a little hot under the collar - he was. In utter disbelief, he backed away, spun around, and inspected himself. Was she into guys in uniform? Had seeing him work turned her on somehow? Was she suffering from a different type of heat? The notion of having to deal with an aroused demigod was both electrifying and frightening, but he was given no time to dwell on it.

“Hey!” a gruff voice barked.

Twisting and looking back as a dump truck rolled up beside him, Anon shielded his eyes from the sun. “Yeah?”

“You mind doing your job so I can back this in?” the driver growled.

“Right, yeah, s…sorry about that,” Anon quickly apologized, jogging away and to the back of the massive vehicle.

Stopping a line of cars and gesturing for the truck to safely back up, he took a moment to collect his thoughts. Irrespective of the hormones that may or may not be coursing through Celestia’s carefree brain, he could potentially use her interest in him to his advantage. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade - if you discover you’ve unwittingly made your friend, the very friend you really wouldn’t mind dating, horny, fan the flames.

As idiotic as it may have sounded, trying to get her stirred up could work in his favor. For starters, it would be nice to turn the tables on her and get her flustered for a change - furthermore, if he played his cards right, he might just get emboldened enough to come clean and broach the subject of romance with her. Tending to his duties and sauntering back to his post, he grinned to himself. His hastily-laid scheme may well end in disaster and a shattered pelvis, but it was too juicy to pass up.

“On your left!” he yelled at the top of his lungs, cupping a hand to his mouth as he shifted to face her.

The bicycle approaching her from behind wasn’t even close to her, yet his warning served its purpose. After she glanced over her shoulder then back over to him, he struck. While he was about as far from an erotic dancer as a guy could be, that didn’t mean he couldn’t give her a little performance. Walking two fingers down his collar, he popped the top button open to reveal his upper chest.

Though he wanted to look at her, to see her reaction, he continued his subtle display without paying her any mind. Opening his shirt a bit was just the start - now that that was out of the way, he could get to the main part of his act. He tilted his head back as he uncapped his bottle he’d grabbed, brought it up to his face, and poured it over himself.

The cool water was refreshing as all get-out, seeping into his attire and washing away the sweat on his brow, and it was the best he could do outside of stripping. Throwing his head from side to side while picturing himself as some hot-shot model, he put on his most becoming smile and shot her his best come hither look. The good news was that his plan had clearly worked - the bad news was that it worked a little too well.

With her mouth agape, pupils dilated, and nostrils flared, Celestia gawked at him like he was like he was the hottest thing she’d ever seen. Drivers idled past her, jockeying for positions as they came or went, though she paid them little mind. Judging by the redness in her face, a pair of prominent points protruding through her top, and the way she was grinding her thighs together, he wasn’t the only one who’d ended up drenched.

Zipping past him and shaking a fist, a scooter-bound pony shook his fist at him. “Watch it, asshole!”

Right, the job. Addressing the task at hand, the one that was currently paying him and preventing a pileup, he signaled to one growing line of vehicles. Messing with Celestia was all well and good, especially after the last couple of incidents with her, although it wasn’t worth getting fired or, heaven forbid, somepony getting into a fender bender. He swept one arm from his left to his right, freeing up what had been some congestion, before he peeked in her direction again.

To his chagrin, Celestia was gone - just gone. It should have been impossible for a pony of her size to simply go missing, yet she was nowhere to be seen. As he scratched his chin and turned in place, what could only be a huge hand snaked up his back and over one shoulder. Turning and looking back, he felt his blood run cold.

“I’d be very, very careful if I was you,” Celestia whispered as she leaned in and brought her muzzle to the side of his head.

While he was justifiably scared that she’d managed to sneak up behind him and give him a warning, he bit back his fear. “And why’s that?”

She rose to her full height in a blink, brushed him off, and gave him a little pat on the head. “Because I wouldn’t want you to get hurt, silly! I’ll be back over there if you need me!”

Her menacing aura evaporated as quickly as he’d sensed it, making him question if he’d imagined it in the first place. Practically skipping away from him, using her wings and arms to start or stop vehicles and pedestrians, she was back to her happy-go-lucky self. He watched her until she’d returned to her post, standing at the opposite corner of the crossroads, and pursed his lips.

He couldn’t have dreamt that up ~ could he? She really had been ogling him ~ right? Rubbing one temple, he stepped back to let a bulldozer slowly roll by. While he didn’t regret teasing her, it really wasn’t the time nor place to ruffle her feathers. Content to the impulsive moment behind him, he kept a watchful eye on the intersection.

“On your right!” Celestia bellowed, prompting him to turn.

Throwing up a hand, he stopped a car that had nearly cut in front of an oncoming semi. “Thanks!”

This was harder than it looked. Even when he was concentrating, keeping tabs of everything that was going on wasn’t easy. Equestria might not have been on the same technological level as the Earth he’d grown up in, but that didn’t mean the muscle cars, industrial equipment, and trains that were around couldn’t hurt or kill somepony - including himself.

Shying back and closer to the curb, he lifted a hand and shifted to face Celestia. “Thanks ag…”

He croaked and sputtered, his mouth paradoxically going drier than the Sahara and watering at the same time when he saw her. Having unbuttoned not one but two buttons on her blouse, she bit the knuckle of one finger and batted her eyes at him. In that instant, the reality of what he’d done came crashing down upon him. His lighthearted attempt to titillate her hadn’t just gotten her a little hot and bothered - it had been the opening shot of a war.

Not to be outdone, he cocked his hips, slipped a thumb under his waistband, and tugged at his pants. A wiser man wouldn’t have reciprocated, but he wasn’t feeling particularly wise at that particular moment. After all the shit she put him through, from flashing herself to nonchalantly strutting around in the buff, she was going to get a taste of her own damn medicine.

His safety vest was the first thing to go, pulled off and thrown beside him, but it was far from the last. He wasn’t about to get naked, but it was understandable that a crossing guard baking in the sun needed a little air. With his shirt fully open and falling to either side of his chest, he struck a dramatic pose while pointing a taxi to move along.

Celestia reeled back as if stricken by the view of his bare chest and abdomen. She’d been around him while he was wearing less, although that was when he wasn’t trying to entice her. Feeling like he had her on the ropes, he leaned back as far as he could without losing balance, drew a hand over his pecks, and winked at her.

Her wings shot out to either side of her, sparks crackled from her horn, and her cheeks glowed crimson. His common sense pleaded for him to stop, informing him his unimpressive physique wouldn’t withstand the carnal might of an alicorn, yet the thrill of wooing her, of grasping he held some sway over her, was intoxicating. With his thumb situated directly over his fly, he rolled his hips back, tensed his legs, and prepared to land a fatal blow.

No sooner did he give a pelvic thrust than everything went to hell. Celestia’s awestruck expression was gone - replaced by a look he could only describe as total focus. Dropping to one knee and placing her palms against the blacktop, she launched herself at him like a bullet. He went to brace himself, cursing his hubris for whatever she was about to do to him, but the reaction time of a mortal meant nothing compared to her unimaginable speed.

She was a literal blur, flitting behind him and snaring him in an embrace. Held tightly to her bosom, he lurched forward when there was an explosion that sent bits of metal and glass flying past him. Ponies screamed, there was a terrible racket, and horns blared - still, despite the pandemonium all around him, Celestia cradled him in her unshakable grasp.

“Sweet Tartarus!” somepony bleated.

Unfurling herself from Anon, Celestia shrugged off a windshield wiper. “I’m quite alright. Would you be so kind as to alert the authorities?”

Anon blinked and looked around himself, drinking in the mayhem. A bus was at Celestia’s back, its cab dented and driven inwards, and it was plain to see that the thing was no longer operational. As she calmly addressed the throng of ponies gathering around her, each checking to see if she was wounded, he finally grasped what she’d done.

“Y…you saved me,” he stammered, understanding that, without her intervention, he would have just been hit by the bus.

Shuffling to his side, wholly uninjured, she flashed a smile at him. “I did tell you to be careful ~ didn’t I?”

His heart raced, his breaths came quick and shallow, and everything sounded muffled, yet he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was the vision of an angel, magnificent, graceful, and gracious in every way, and there wasn’t a creature on the planet who’d met her who could say otherwise. Though it was foolish - no, beyond foolish to think that he could ever have her, he had to find a way to win her heart…

Comments

[Mister-H]

Now it begins!