- Member Since 12th Aug, 2013
- online
Bad Dragon
I write so that one day I may finally stop writing and be free, but these damn new ideas keep finding ways into my brain. I need to write more to vent them out!
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The concept isn't unique, exactly. Public humiliation has been used a lot to punish people in the past but lewd displays wouldn't be allowed in front of foals normally. Feels like the story needs more tags. Porn and Dark might fit unless you intend some type of redemption.
11815409 The whole story is about redemption, and conversating with a foal about a display doesn't fall under porn in my book; but just to be safe, I added the extra tags.
11815555
The conversation doesn't bother me but the action being in public and the foal can see it is what is going to bother people. Foalcon is a whole different kink for a lot of people.
11815571 The whole point of fiction is that it's not reality.
Personally, I don't like the censorship that seems to be expanding. Talking about something should be encouraged, not forbidden.
Either way, thank you for commenting. At least I know now why this story got so many downvotes. Some apparently got triggered.
In my opinion this is kind of a hypocritical punishment other than it's not effective, at least for a character like opening. It just makes sure if he ever gets free from it. She's only going to do first things to other people plus all the chances he have to escape.
11816041 You're right, it's ineffective. Opaline still hasn't learned her lesson.
She's been evil for 2 millennia. You can't undo all that in just a few days. Years upon years of therapy are needed.
All the stallions are doing their part in reforming Opaline. And by the end of this story, all mares will join in her reformation as well.
With so many ponies doing their best to help Opaline, the walls of her ego are bound to crack. They just have to persist in their efforts.
11816048
Or most likely still become extremely worse and start pretending it worked, but as soon as he's free wreak untold havoc on them with no mercy. If the lesson Misty still learned from all of this in her former beating is the stick cannot be your only tool you need to carry it. This reminds me of a story I read with Chrysalis. It was pretty much the same thing. If she spent 2000 years this planet Smith with this be seen as another humiliation. Not a cure for her ways, no matter how many ponies you throw at her. Plus I assume she's an alicorn. So with the body of an earth pony, pegasi and unicorn you would need around that many people to even satisfy her. On top of that we didn't really get openings side or house he's feeling. We just got an outside perspective looking in.
11816053 You're right again. Opaline may pretend to be cured when she's really not. For that reason, the therapy should be extended way beyond its mere effectiveness. There's also a matter of punishment. She hurt the whole planet. She should serve at least a year for everypony she hurt. It may take a while before your concerns become an issue.
And you're right, more ponies are needed to help Opaline. And I promise, there will be more. Everypony will have her reformation in mind, even mares.
Oh, trust me, she's beyond satisfied. And she will reach higher levels yet.
That's true, but as the story progresses, there will be short periods when her throat will be free and she will
speakscream her mind. Her body language will also be an indication of the impactful things ahoof within her.Misty has the same concerns you have. She's afraid that Opaline won't learn. She'll make it her mission to address all of those concerns.
I am all for CommunityService instead of confinement, as long as it is voluntary because I do not want slavery. I imagine an offer like thus:
Judge:
"I sentence you to a a week in jail for for stealing, plus restitution, however, if you accept CommunityService, you can be free as long as you work 168 hours, the same number of hours in a week."
I see nothing wrong with SexWork, but we do not want to put prostitutes out of business, I suggest placing the women volunteering for community-service in Junior High Schools, also known as Middle School, where she would deflower teenaged boys because these boys cannot afford to pay a prostitute (for a male, the worst possible way to die is as a virgin and one never knows when one might die). If a man claims to be a virgin and too poor to afford sex, we should let him have sex with a woman serving community-servivce once.
Community-Service is not much of a punishment if one can choose what one does; so now, If one does not like the task given, one should serve the sentence behind bars instead. Since we never know when a fatal accident could condemn a boy to dying a virgin, all women opting for community-service should deflower teenaged boys.
After making 168 teenaged boys into men, the aforementioned woman with a sentence of a week in jail would have served her doubt to society and be free to go.
11815596
You seem to be confusing trigger warnings with censorship.
Trigger warning are here to make sure people who don't like certain things (or in some cases, have averse reactions to it) can avoid it. Censorship is when you hide something even from people who would want to see it.
In fact, trigger warnings make it easier for people to find your story, since they can add them to their search query.
¡You used Interrobangs! ⸘What kind of pony uses Interrobangs‽
You might be interested in inverted punctuation.
I wonder what Misty will do to Opaline.
11816171 Sounds like a plan, however, you'd have to have a register of virgins.
Personally, I believe in a free market. My friend went to a whore house the other day and came out lighter for about $1000. It is my personal opinion that prostitutes charge too much. Not even a director of a company gets paid so much per hour as they do. I think some competition is well in order. And when prices drop, students will be able to afford them as well.
None of this, however, applies to Opaline. She's not being punished, she's being reeducated. The first step is to reduce her ego. But since she's been building it up for millennia, it might take a while.
Also, since Opaline hurt everypony, it's only appropriate that she repays everypony.
I'd say that both the therapy and reparations are going along wonderfully. If you were to interview everypony involved, all but one would agree.
11816174 I've added plenty of tags already. By this point, if I add any more, there might be more tags than the story.
11816180 Some sentences just demand something stronger than ? but weaker than pure !. So why not use interrobangs in such cases‽
However, I find the inverted one somewhat redundant.
Misty knows what the problem is, and she will find the solution to it. It's not like she has ever failed a mission.
11816198
Not directly:
Every stallion would get 1 freebie with a mare serving community-service. After that, one must pay for sex with prostitute. I suspect that most men would lie to get laid, but they can only do it once.
As someone living in a bordello, I do not know why that happened. Here is the Price-list:
11816204
I didn't say anything about tags, though? The tags seem fine as they are right now.
11816214 Most students would probably just sell the ticket to get the money. With money, you can pay for sex or get anything else in the world.
As for my friend, there was an entrance fee, then he hooked up with 3 girls. There was free food in the bordelo. Once you enter, it's very hard to leave.
11816221 There's not even any straight-up foalcon in this story. What exactly should I even warn about? A parent talking about birds and bees with her child?
11816266
⸘And risk gettin hit by an SUV and dying a virgin‽ ¡No way!:
The moment I would enter Junior High School at 12-years old, I would get laid.
It sounds like the Hotel California:
We have bulk discount of 250 dollars for 2. We do not have a commercial kitchen and do not serve alcohol. We have snacks. After a nice extra special massage, we offer nice ice-cold Gatorade 0-Sugar.
11816294 All students have enough money to buy a prostitute. Most don't. Yes, they're horny; but more than that, they're poor.
I'm the same. Sure, calling a different girl over every day might be nice, but not when I lose money by doing it.
Money is really important. It's the closest thing to magic we have in this world.
Sex is magic, but money is even more. Hmm, maybe that's how I should have titled this story: Sex Is Magic. Opaline could never get enough of magic, but if sex is magic and they overload her with sex, maybe there's hope for her yet.
11816303
If magic starts off white with a little viscosity and stickiness, increases in viscosity and stickiness, and then becomes a transparent low-viscosity liquid, Opaline has lots of magic in her.
11816311 Opaline used to absorb cutie marks, now she's absorbing a different kind of magic.
11816317
As Teal'C and Tuvok say, "Indeed.".
Somehow, I get the impression that you have a thing for furtight bodysuits.
That is strange:
If one leaves the semen, then one only has to lubricate each orifice once before starting, and them Opaline can take stallions all-day using semen as a lubricant. ¡Think about all of the AxelGrease one will save!
11817444 In the show, every time the mares were about to get naughty, they put on furtight bodysuits.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/25/55960/full.png
As for lubrication, you'd be right in general. But the thing is, Opaline is an exception to that rule. Stallions prefer to dry-fuck her. Just like she violated everypony by forcefully taking their cutie marks, so too do they want to violate her in turn.
Raise and raze are interesting verbs. They are near homophones, but are also near antonyms. Because of the confusion on noisy ConstructionSites (workers knocking down things they are supposed to build up because they mishear) many use the verb demonalish instead of raze.
11818014 Funny you should say that. I just had a discussion about this with AI before publishing this chapter.
11818197
You save for a decade and have 100,000.00 €s. You give it to some builders and tell them that you do not care how they do it, but you want your house raised. You go on vacation. You return expecting that your house will be bigger, but they misunderstood and razed your house instead. ¡That is why the ConstructionIndustry switched from the verb raze to demonalish instead!
¡Raise and raze are both near homophones and near antonyms!
11818223 After a millennium of public service, Opaline will finally be able to return home.
To her surprise, her castle wasn't demolished but raised. It's now twice as big as it was before.
And all her relics weren't burned but reforged into legendary variants.
And then all the ponies will show up with party balloons and say, "You thought we were gang-raping you for a whole era, but it was all just a prank, bro, and you fell for it."
And Opaline will be like, "Good one, bro. You really got me. But I'll get back at you for this." And then she destroys the world.
11818256
¡Surprise and Pinkamena Diane Pie would be pleased!
11818259 It would be the biggest party prep ever. Opaline will truly be surprised because she won't expect a gang of ponies to come to her while not gang-raping her as well.
And then they'll read her a letter from Misty (who will be long dead by then):
11818274
I thought about maybe replacing both raise and raze just to make just to make certain. Evidently, I am not the only 1 because erect is sometimes used in construction, but not often because it sounds sexual. If you want your house bigger, tell the workers to erect your house, but do not be surprised if the workers rub your house and talk-dirty to it:
11820312 I wanted to use the word 'demolish' but it just sounded so formal and emotionless. Then I went with 'raise', but AI informed me that that meant the exact opposite of what I wanted it to mean, so I settled for 'raze'.
As for 'erect', well, Opaline has plenty of that already.
11820332
- MLP: FiM
- Comedy
- Random
Applejack should properly enunciate her lyrics.11820349 I wish I could get so many upvotes on a story.
11820356
¡1!
¡2!
¡3!
¡4Ever!
¡The mathematics of Love!
¡5Ever!:
The story has 1,234 likes.
The story is about homophones.
11820363 Outresting. Like interesting, but beyond.
11820380
Transesting is literally beyond outesting.
11820392 I'm beyond speechless.
Update:
I read this! I liked it, but it's exactly 0% hot. It's torture and revenge porn, which isn't usually my jam (surprisingly!). What I liked about it is how utterly shamelessly dark and cruel it is from the mother matter of factly educating her daughter at the beginning to the cleaning brush at the end. I love how Misty is "In character" cruel. If Misty (and the rest of the G5 pony cast) was brutally cruel, this is a way she could be as in character as possible. I also like how clever and terribly broken Misty is, but I can absolutely see why this is immensely off-putting for people at the same time.
There's no way to put a proper warning on this so people that don't want to see this content don't have to except to have a disclaimer that this is explicitly extreme fantasy torture and revenge porn, not sexy porn. I'd strongly recommend adding a little section with spoilered trigger warnings (like I do on most of my stories) so people that really don't want to read this sort of content aren't surprised.
This is a heavy hitter, but it's going to be reviled for the content, especially by readers that did not want to read that. Anyways, just thought I'd leave a comment and let you know that I appreciated the weird thoughtfulness of this.
11825146
I'm glad you could see beyond the many triggers and recognize the value beneath.
I renamed the chapter from 'clop' to 'revenge'. I hope that will help.
This is what I seek in stories, but rarely find. Most of the texts are just variants of the world we're already used to. But placing the reader in a new environment and presenting her with new concepts that don't feel familiar is somewhat of a rarity. I try to overcompensate, and that's one of the reasons why my stories may contain some offputting elements.
Victims often become offenders themselves. If they normalize the trauma, their cruel past becomes easier to bear, but that comes at the price of empathy. The more cruel they become, the the less impactful their own scars become.
I'm not a cup of tea for everypony. I understand that. When I write, my goal is to scar the reader's mind. If the reader is the same before reading the story and after, I feel as if I failed my role as a writer.
I'm very grateful for your comment. Sometimes I feel as if I'm the only one who understands my stories. I'm very glad to be proven wrong in that.