There are no kings.

Doesn't that make this a stalemate?

Tragedy, Dark, Comedy. Nice to see I'm not the only one who thought to write something with that combination of tags. Brohoof. /)

>>13940301394030

*cough* I have no idea what you're talking about. ._.

>>13940301394030 There are crosses in the ones on A.

I like it. I demand more

>>13955061395506

Hearing those words (Technically I'm reading them, but you know what I mean :3) really makes the effort I put into this worth it. I'm planning on weekly updates for Thursdays/Fridays, but I'll put up an early chapter if I finish the current one before then. Don't want to exhaust my work buffer.

>>13955641395564 To me any story with Discord is a story worth reading.

head explosions,the best part so far

more!!!

Discord sure likes to make rant after rant .

I track this

Interesting story, this could be a good world-building story, my only concern is the "you can do magic now" schtick, so I shall see where that goes first before making any judgements.  Other than that few/no spelling or grammar errors that I could find.  Keep up the good work!

I love the amount of technical detail you go into about everything. That's, like, the perfect way to explain why Unicorns have to learn spells rather than just using their will to do stuff!

I normally put stories in the read later bin until three chapters in, but fuck that! Liked, Faved, and Watching you! This story is going to kick ass!

This gave me a boner...

In my mind...

With thoughts.

I like it

I think that your strongest skill in your writing is the rich, technical detail you go into, and I don't see any shortcomings in your style, either. The author of 'Becoming Chaos' focuses so heavily on emotions, rich language, and world-building that the action is sparse and the  pace is incredibly slow. You have good pacing, the action was fast paced and appropriate, and the characters behave how they should. Everything flows logically and you give reasons for everything happening without slowing down the story.

Overall, this is really good. I'm almost shocked that this story has grabbed so little attention. Maybe if you had a more exciting cover image, you could draw more people in to get more momentum behind this fic?

>>14265121426512 I have to agree here, I'm amazed that a beautiful fic like this hasn't been picked out of the sludge that is Sturgeon's Law...

FUCKING CLIFF HANGER

Cover imaes are extremely important, which is why I am waiting for a friend of mine to create one before I post a story of my own.

>>14278551427855

I made my own cover image like this not out of a lack of options, but because it was the most fitting way I could find to give readers a glimpse into the possible drama that could unfold later on without actually spoiling anything. That, and chess just ties in with the 'battle of two powers' theme well. Any suggestions as to what would catch the eye while not sacrificing too much depth?

>>14281201428120 Your cover art is nice, but it sort of went over my head. Perhaps there is an image of Discord playing chess that could be more suitable?

FIRST PUNKS and well done. i really like Josehps inner voice.

I bet Twilight knows all the rope and binding spells.

Yar, this be pleasin to my wooden eye!

Good to finally see the new chapter up, waiting for the next...

yarr me thinks i might need a tad bit more of this here story

Great chapter!

I wouldn't worry too much about the teleportation. As long as your brain remains intact, there's a good chance that you can be fixed!

more?

Joseph broke one of the main safety rules of magic. Never let a inexperience user try to teleport you.

Dude, dude. Shh. It's magic.

A ten foot wingspan? Wow.

Pegasus wings are huge in this universe.

And wingboners must be deadly.

>>15859871585987

Smaller than they'd actually be if they had to fly in ours, but I compromised on realism so that they'd fit the unrealistic theme of the Discordant universe.

And judging from what I read while looking up the chapter, they'd need wings between twenty and thirty feet long just to GLIDE. Physics is a pain, so let's just go with the generally accepted mythos and say they use magic in some part. :3

>>15860031586003 I prefer to just go slowly insane, it helps with the finer details...

On an unrelated note, am I the only one that can see jesus in the corner of the room?

By the way, here's a pic of Cashmere. Aint she a beaut? :3

Image: http://i.imgur.com/eT93Z.png

The part about Celestia's soul reminded me of Soul Eater, where Shinigami's soul encased Death City, Nevada.

>>16226941622694

/inspiration

Let's see how many other references I can fit in...

Me gusta. AND THERE'S NO TEXT WALLS! MY FACE IS SAFE!

And as always, alcoholic-bipolar is best pony...

...In most cases...

Ssxzjhdj,

Well it looks like he got .....

Flashed. YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH!

>>16654201665420

It is dangerous to go alone. Take this.

lets,se Joseph go super sayian on Celestia.

>>16654641665464 Many thanks.

Heh, Pinkie Pie gave everypony infections.

I HATE YOU ALL AND OH GOD MY EYES!

Image: http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/lenm/lenm1209/lenm120900060/15067743-illustration-of-cute-little-monkeys-rolling-on-the-floor-laughing.jpg

Keep them comin that's good readin.

This story is so brilliant, I thought it would've been more popular... Told you, you should get better artwork, no offence to anyone but fimfiction readers are shallow

well he has an interseting personality or two.

I'd say that Joseph is a pretty well-rounded character. He is an intelligent, scheming, cynical, insensitive jerk that he's meant to be portrayed as, but he's also able to cut loose when he's in his element, and he has his fair share of flaws weaknesses.

When the unexpected happens, he doesn't immediately come to the best solution. He has to work through stress and take time to come up with reasonable excuses. He can also be overly confident, which leads him into situations where he has to make those excuses.

It's always a good idea to introduce a few healthy flaws into a character that are tied to their very nature, so that they don't end up as Mary Sues. I think that Joseph can be described as a fairly "successful" character without succumbing to the "can do no wrong" thing that marks Mary Sues.

By the way... If Twilight and Joseph are able to physically interact with the objects and atmosphere inside Joseph's mind, would they be able to interact with each other?

>>17117761711776

Eeyup. Whatever happens is what they expect to happen. Remember the explanation of the Stream, where everything that happens is as a result of prior expectations and wills from all those involved in the event? When only two people are involved, it's split 50/50. So in the mental realm they share, it's JovTwi for anything that happens, and one would most likely be neutral for anything the other does, so what happens is what the non-neutral expectation was.

Now, if they had conflicted beliefs for anything, nothing would happen. There was no scenario for that, so it didn't happen. Elegant, no?

im hoping that there wont be a Twilight x human cliche moment.

>>17217201721720

Image: http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tuaw.com/media/2009/12/no-shipping.png

Fuck y34h.

another awsome chapter. thank you good sir

Exploring the Everfree for fun and profit! Twilight would probably pay for Joseph's aid in her research, if her royal stipend covers it.

Maybe Zecora could offer strike up a deal with Joseph as well? There must be plenty of hard-to-get ingredients that a cunning, tree-climbing predator would be a great help in acquiring. Now that he has no technology to turn to for entertainment, maybe Zecora could even prescribe him with some 'medicinal herbs' to help with his boredom?

By the way, I'm pretty upset with the lack of recognition that this story has been getting. Would you mind if I whore out some advertising in other stories' comment sections? Maybe I could ask some other authors to put in a good word? This story is awesome, and it sucks that it didn't make a big entrance. If you posted this story at the right time, I'm sure that it would have ended up being featured at one point.

>>17549291754929

No pony coke for the bi-polar sociopath.

I wouldn't particularly mind help in getting noticed. I personally wanted to do that part on my own, for the sake of feeling like I accomplished something, but I suppose there's more pride to be had in earning the interest of those who check it out than there is in besting Sturgeon's Law of Dickery.

And I think it's bumped every time I post a new chapter. I remember reading that most people check for new fics on Friday evenings (EST), so I could try shifting my update schedule to Fridays instead. Just a thought.

>>17562581756258 You know, that thing about bumping every time you post a new chapter could help out. Austreoh, by Imploding Colon, had very short chapters, like ~600 words usually, and it updated at least once every three days. That story found itself in the feature bar a ridiculous number of times. It was a pretty badass story, but I think the main reason it got such a wide audience could that that the bumping due to the higher number of shorter chapters increased the views somehow.

I don't know if this would go against some kind of writer's code of honor, but if you would write out your full chapters, then re-edit them into two or more chapters and post them a few hours apart or something, this fic might get more time on the front page to rake in views. I don't think that the current viewers would really mind having the same amount of story presented but with more chapter breaks, but there seems to be a certain "prestige" to an author posted a longer chapter...

Just something to think about.

>>17562961756296

So I much choose between honor and fame... It is a decision every great man must make in life.

I honestly can't break up chapters, though. They each have a certain buildup to a climax, and putting the climax into a second one lessens the impact of each individual update, even if it's readily available. I still have to make a conclusion and intro for each one, and that sort of breaks the connection from the last in some small or large way.

It seems I'll just have to rely on impressing readers so thoroughly through my writing itself that word of mouth does the work for me.

That... or I could just start killing off rival authors one by one.

>>17563391756339 With enough time, I'm sure that 'A Discordant Tale' will grab the attention it deserves.

Several things can encourage a random reader to give a story a chance. The more likes, the higher the views, the title and cover-art, and the comments.

Perhaps if you encourage people to leave comments, future browsers will see the higher comment count and be that much more drawn to the story... I don't know.

Regardless, I'll be following this story and commenting. One thing I really like is that almost every character has somewhat of a mischievous streak. So many ponies have trolled Joseph in response to his actions. Regardless of whether or not this is a result of ponies being influenced by his personality, aura, or Discord's mark on him, it really adds charm to everything.

>>17563761756376

/appreciation

I have heard many calls to improve the cover art (Alas, the plight of the misunderstood artist).

I have many ideas in mind, and will get around to that once I decide on which one is most appropriate.

To be honest, despite the Bronie in Equestria  via  Discord cliché (even with the popular resource of the character "Inner Voice", you had managed to work a nice, good quality story. Love specially the main character personality (as said before, intelligent, insensitive, half-psociopath), more fitting in the "shades of gray" than the "shining example of humanity" morality terms. Miss Cashmere is a close second ("my mother died  from sex with a minotaur you never expect a pony saying that).

I notice too the story has a slow, reasonable pace. I´m intriged about Discord´s  words about "Celestia´s dirty little secrets" and when and how our "hero" will find out. Maybe the old "I don´t turn ponies into stone" about the royal garden? Also, after the clash with Cashmere I wonder about the pony vs human physical stats.

As I said, good work. I´m really surprised this story doesn´t get more followers. Hope the word will spread eventually.

>>17624721762472

Another day, another viewer. And more good feedback.

This please me!

C'mon now, at least use a chess position that isn't impossible for the cover image..

>>17953511795351

>It's a story about Discord.

>Follow the rules you say?

What fun is there in that?

Oh, Joseph. Did you forget so soon Discord´s warning about "real Equestria" differences from the show?

In any case, a good excuse to do some research in the Old Castle. I bet the Elements of Harmony are far from being the only secret hidden inside its walls.

By the wat, are the six mares (Twilight at least) informed of who brought J to their world?

>>17955471795547

It's not mentioned in the story, but rather implied through their actions (And Joseph tells them he's from his own country in two consecutive chapters). To be blunt; No. He keeps that private as well as he can manage.

>>17953811795381

what fun is there in a game that's already over before it even begins? I'm pretty sure Discord is more playful than that.

‘Hairy Beasts and Where Not To Poke Them’

sounds like a book id read...

oh and...FUKIN CLIFFHANGERS!

Wait, what was the last hairy beast that Twilight considered poking?

>>17969631796963

Oh, it aint over. Think Chess, with all the conversion and sabotage of a real war. The true victor is only clear when there's one side left standing.

Let us have a moment of silence for that dent in the door that once might have been...

*Solemnly places hat to chest

This story is progressing,

That I can see,

But the book of hairy beasts...?

...Okay, that kinda unnerves me...

>>17987731798773 man

then checkers/draughts would be a much more appropriate metaphor-game.

>>17990091799009

Touche. The art is changing soon anyway, so hopefully your qualms shall be quelled. :3

"Next few chapters will be shorter, assuming I don't go on a literary rampage and end up ballooning them into something bigger than initially planned..." ~Me one week ago.

Uh... I can explain.

I hate insects.

i see a shitstorm a' brewin.

Congratulations, you are getting better. And Joseph is one of the best humans in Equestria ever seen (ln several aspects, even reminds me a younger version of Kaon from the "Machinations of a Trickster" fic)

I love this story it is spastic approved

bad bugs are bad bugs are bad bugs are bad bugs bad bugs are bad bugs are bad bugs are bad bugs.

dem bugs be bad.

yayayay

I thought that this story was going to be on hold until the new episode with Discord was out. It's good to see this story updated.

the main charecter remeinds me more and more of discord each chapter

Ponies

Humans

Swearing

Additions and Editions to already established canon

Swearing

Blood, Fighting and occasional Death

Swearing

u mean swearing X 3

all my likes and favorites

ps in before the masses and now i teleport away

Till next time, remember to comment and critique to your heart's desire!

I want to see Heart's Desire used in the story at some point.

Very nice cliffhanger, by the way.

If teleportation is truly so risky, why Twilight is using it constantly on herself and her friends?

>>21296962129696

It's only risky at long distances (As she said, >5 miles is where things get iffy). From what we've seen in the show, Twilight hasn't sent anyone or anything further than fifty meters (The biggest witnessed jump being the first one she made, in the Ticket Master, where she sent herself and Spike back to the tree-house from an anonymous alleyway to escape the ponies chasing them. It was the only one where we're not absolutely clear on how far she sent the two of them, but the tree-house was nowhere in sight, so it's got the most potential to be considered to longest distance traveled via teleport).

Is it dead?

>>23171582317158

Not in the slightest. Read my second-to-last blog post to understand what's happening. Basically Education takes precedence over Leisure for me.