It was a day like any other

by krutosutrererrasdrtwe

chapter 1: Hog-tied

Chapter 1

[Hog-tied]

“Hmm” said Twilight as she was meticulously studying the stallion, looking for some sign of where he came from or his name. After about 10 minutes of studying him, Twilight came to the conclusion that he must be affected by some sort of magic. “So let me get this straight Applejack, you said you found this Stallion cursing in the middle of Ponyville after he hit his hoof on his head?”. “Yes ah did, that Stallion was actin crazier than Pinkie Pie on the Ponyville express, armed with the language of a seafarin stallion”. “Well I guess that means he can talk” as Twilight took the muzzle off of the perplexed pony. “Thank the heavens that muzzle is off, that inbred mule was going to sell me into slavery or something” blurted out Mark. Before he could whistle Dixie, Twilight used her magic to manually shut his mouth. “Hey, didn’t anyone teach you proper manners in front of a mare?” said Twilight with a frown on her face. “Your right Applejack, this one is more than a bit, shall we say, peculiar”. “You talk to me like that again, and I’ll tie you to a tree like one of them piñata’s an I’ll invite those crusaders over for a lil shin-dig” said Applejack. “Now hold on Applejack, maybe he doesn’t know any better; he may be from a distant land”. Mark finally got enough strength to break the aura around his muzzle “I am from another land, a land that is filled with war, bloodshed, and loads of porn!!”. At that moment, Applejack, Twilight, and for some reason Pinkie Pie all got together and let out a “Say what?” at the exact same time.

After a five second pause during which time all three of the mares stared at Mark, Applejack said “Don’t believe this nincompoop, he is a couple screws short of a chair, and doesn’t know what he is saying”. “If what he is saying is true though, it may help explain all of the strange things that have been going on over here for the past month”. Then Applejack retorted “how can we believe this pony if we don’t even know his name?”. “Well why don’t we go and ask him then?” said Twilight looking at Applejack. As Applejack was about to speak, Pinkie Pie ran up to the stallion and said “Please enter in your name”. The stallion gave a confused look to the Pink pony, then said “My name is Mark”. Then Twilight looked back at Mark and said “glad to make your acquaintance Mark”. Then Mark could hear Twilight and Applejack whispering. “well are you going to greet him?” “Hay no, he called me an inbred mule” “well you did hog tie and dragged him over to the library” “Well what was I supposed to do Twilight, I couldn’t just let him stay there and curse up a storm” “But you didn’t have to hog tie him Applejack” “I couldn’t just ask him to come along with me either, or else he would have escaped and done Celestia knows what!” “I am not saying that, I am just saying that there are other ways you could have handled the situation instead of treating him like a pig “ “Well I’m sorry Twi that ah cant use unicorn magic to fix all of my problems “. They stared at each other for about five seconds and then realized that Pinkie Pie and Mark were staring at them. “You two argue like an old mareied couple “said Mark. At hearing the joke, the Party pony began laughing and said “You and me are going to get along just dandy”.
“So uh, Twilight, what is going on in this weird land” asked Mark. “Well, where should I begin?” asked Twilight. “Princess Celestia and Luna have gone missing, my brother and Cadence have taken the throne, and now they apparently have a son”. “This “son” of theirs was somehow able to speak the moment that he was born, and since then, he has been making all of these really weird laws around here”. “He has rescinded the laws against fighting, and even went as far as to make it the national sport.” “On top of that, he has created a small army of “judges” to referee the duels that now run rampant throughout Equestria, and allowed the creation of warrior groups called clans to fight against one another for bets and prizes”. “Finally, he established a number of pubs around Equestria”. Prior to ousting of Celestia, these places were few and far between, but now they are in almost every town”. “These pubs now also serve as a place to start up a clan, and accept clan missions; Any
more questions?”. Mark sighs “This is the last time I lend videogames out to any of my friends”.

After a surprisingly nice dinner of grilled grass and cheese sandwiches and cupcake desert, Mark, Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie head for the pub. “If there is anything I learned from Dungeons and Dragons, it is that every quest begins at the pub” the three mares nodded their heads in agreement, even though they had no idea what he was saying. As they were walking to the pub, a rainbow mane’d Pegasus ran into Mark. “Watch where you’re goin, you flamboyant faggot!” yelled Mark. At that, Rainbow Dash turned around and flew her hoove into Mark’s face. “Nobody calls me gay” yelled Rainbow Dash as she began kicking Mark in the stomach. “I- I’m sorry, R-Rainbow Dash” said a severely bruised Mark. “Rainbow Dash, you cant be hurting him, he has horsette Syndrome “. When Twilight said that, Rainbow immediately felt sorry for the poor unicorn, and apologized to him. “Sorry, um whats your name” said Rainbow Dash. “Marche!” Pinkie Pie blurted out. “No, the name’s Mark, but don’t feel sorry, they just think I have Tourrette Syndrome, because I come from another land that uses a lot more horse (hoarse) language”. So the two shook hooves and they all began walking to the pub, when they noticed Rarity and Fluttershy. “Hey guys, do you wanna come with us to the pub?” said Pinkie Pie. “Oh I don’t know Fluttershy, I need to make a dress for—oh my, when did you meet that dashing young unicorn?”. “Dashing, the only thing that is dashing about him is use of the word” Twilight put her hoof over Applejack’s mouth “She means that she met him in the Town square. If you would be so kind as to follow us to the pub, he would be more than glad to fill you in on every last detail, wouldn’t he” as Twilight eyed Mark. “Why yes, of course I would, and you may as well bring your soft spoken friend over here as well”. So with
that, the Mane 6 plus Mark headed off to the pub.

When they got there, they noticed a bar crowded with ponies. To the far right of them was a magic oriented clan of unicorn’s practicing their magic on a conveniently placed dummy. Next to those, was a smaller group of Earth ponies and Pegasi who were playing some kind of card game. And flying up high near the ceiling was Derpy Hooves swinging around after having a bit too much to drink. Maybe she had too much too much to drink, but you can never tell with that Pegasus. “Alright mister, what’ll it be?” said Donut Joe as Mark approached. “I’ll have a Vodka martini, shaken not stirred” said Pinkie Pie as she butted in front of Mark. “And who are you?” asked Donut Joe. “My name is Pinkie Pie” said the prancing party pony. “I must be dreaming” said Donut Joe in a slightly sarcastic tone. Mark jokingly pushed Pinkie out of the way, and asked Donut Joe about starting up a clan. “Why sure, just get at least five signatures and sign this liability waiver, and you’ll have a legit clan”. Upon hearing this, Mark had and the 6 mare’s all signed the paper, and gave it to Donut Joe. “Oh, I forgot, what do you want to call yourselves?” After looking at each other, Pinkie blurted out “The AristoColts”.

Comments

[krutosutrererrasdrtwe]

alright, just got the 1st real chapter in, probably going to be a while till the next one comes in, just too much on my plate right now. Sorry the beggining part was a bit slow, I'll try to work on that for future updates. Oh, and if anybody wants a clan name, post it in the comments section, whichever is the most popular will win (I guess). The clan name at the end was more or less a joke.

[Rozen Knight]

I am realy starting to like this ...dispite feeling abit left surprised how fast it went... but thats nether here nor there! How about the.... Clan Wildcard they have a mouth offing Unicorn a Insane Pinkiepie (registers as her own race) a Tomboy Le-...i mean uhh Nicelady and A fationistia a Timeline obsesssed Unicorn and a workaholic... and a Animal Tamer who will likly run from her foes and let a little bunny fight...Pretty much WildCards

[Lazygamer313]

Hmm, it needs more formatting and polishing, the chapter had a fast pacing into it which would kind of break the reader away from the story. A paragraph break in between dialogue will help readers understand conversation better, as well as stating who or who doesn't entered said conversation. other then that its an alright chapter. Hope this helps, best regards.

[GhostNpc]

Awesome. I still have my copy of FFTA! keep up the good work!

[Lumin Cloud]

Added to read later. I loved the game, I got to where the pink/red haired girl shows up in the FF world and then lost my save. Def gonna read this, is there spoilers for the game?