Rumors go around Ponyville regularly, that's a given, but when a rumor is all you hear all day, from everypony you come across, you start to wonder if it's truly gossip or if there's some truth behind it all. So when Rarity approaches Applejack and asks to help her find this rumored Witch of Everfree, the Apple family's big sister has to believe, right?
Or is this just another one of Rarity's adventures that loves to go horribly wrong?
An alternate universe story spawned from the idea of "What if Twilight was a Witch."
This story catalogues her meeting her 5 friends, 1 friend per chapter.
The Dark tag as well as the Death and Profanity warnings are for the third chapter only and is minor but important.
Chapters (4)
Good Story!
Can't wait for more!
Great first chapter.
I look forward to what you'll bring in the next chapter!
If I had a dollar for every story named "Witch of Everfree" I'd have at least two dollars.
I'm sure its original, just funny to see the name collision, lol.
Actually, I'm pretty sure any sufficiently powerful and well-trained unicorn would qualify as a witch/wizard (large scale levitation, teleportation, transmutation, elemental control and too many other spells to list) so I'm pretty sure Twilight was already canonically a witch in all but name.
Still, an interesting idea for an AU story (and especially appropriate considering how close it is to Halloween).
Hey there. Not much I can say except rather good job on the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Definitely liked this bit of a spin on Applejack and Twilight's first meeting as well as the AU info on the characters thus far. REALLY looking forward to the AU details concerning the rest of the Mane Six as well.
If I had a nickel for everytime I saw a fic called 'Witch of the Everfree', I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice.
Very interesting premise! Looking forward to seeing how you continue this!
A few things. One i love the speices swap in regards to AJ and Rarity. it is not something i see too often and look forward to seeing what the rest of the 6 will be (sans twi since we already know lol) I also found it amusing Twi tended to rhyme when she could, it was cute. I look forward to seeing where you take this story
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Rhyming seems to be a habit Twilight picked up from Zecora though. Everything else seems to be some of Celestia's oddities rubbing off on her.
This first chapter has my curiosity. Let's see if the following one has my attention.
This is interesting. A bit weird to have Rarity as an earth pony. Is she still a seamstress is this AU?
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I thought I'd recognized you, you're the guy that also comments in For the Want of a Nail lol. Thank you for giving your thoughts about this and rest assured the rest of the Mane 6 will hopefully be as interesting as some of you hope!
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I will admit, that Rarity and Applejack aren't the only one that's had their species swapped around so do look out for the others! As for Twilight's rhyming, Mystic Sunrise is pretty spot on in that she did get that from Zecora.
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nevertheless each chapter will have thier own mini bios about each focus character at the end so the explanations should be provided there if any of the minor points are missed in the chapter itself.
Rarity's chapter is up next so all will be revealed in due time as I don't wanna spoil too much
Anyway thanks to those who liked this story so far! I have an entire world to share in this au and this will be the first of hopefully many stories in this universe. Cheers!
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I look forward to your updates highly then hehe
i see
You should probably be aware that there's a famous story by a popular author from early in the fandom by this same name. "Famous" as in, has hundreds of thousands of views, and I immediately thought of it the moment I saw your story title despite the fact that the original is eight years old.
It's a very well known fic.
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There are a ton of stories that share the exact same name. As long as the name choice is not malicious, there shouldn't be a problem.
Plus after following the link, I see that I have read the story and have the story listed as read, not favorited, or thumbs up'd. Which is a bad sign. While I intend to re-listen to it this week to remind myself of the original story, If I did not favorite it or thumbs up'd a story, there i something very wrong with it. Usually its written in cave man speak, or its written by a child, or the writer had serious mental problems, usually sex or touch phobic and on the spectrum.
So the fact that this writer copied the name......might not be a problem if he actually writes something worth reading.
Monk
"Don't be absurd. These are not difficult to use. Now get over here and let me swap your brains." -Hoopy McGee
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I was not actually aware of how popular it was, huh...
To be quite honest I did check if there were other fics with similar names but I didn't actually think it was a big deal after I saw there was only one other fic with that shared the same name, especially one so old, and as I think Witch of Everfree does describe my story fairly well.
For now I'll keep it as "The Witch of Everfree" but should a demand arise, I do have the power to change the title easily and I do have a few options in my pocket for it, it's just not the ones I really think fits as well as the current title for obvious reasons.
Thank you though for telling me and I'll definitely keep it in mind for the future. Cheers!
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I personally feel the title sounds right just as is
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Are you now? Because out of 149,000 stories published on fimfiction, Witch of the Everfree is the 36th highest rated fic of all time.
It has its own tvtropes page. It was published as an ebook on amazon.com.
It has one, two, three sequels, and one of those sequels was also published on amazon.
It wouldn't be if it weren't such a famous story. Fimfiction allows duplicate names, but this happens to be an "all time famous" story. You may as well write a story and call it My Little Dashie or Anthropology.
I guess do whatever you're going to do, but I'm probably not going to be the last person to point this out.
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Yes I genuinely did not as I've not exactly interacted with the fanfiction side of this fandom at all since I've joined, and for that I matter I have not read any of the famous works in it like the ones you mentioned, now I'm sorry if it felt like I'm being ignorant but I genuinely meant no ill will. I'm just a new fan that would like to write a story with a particular title and was not aware of a popular fic with a similar title. Simple as that.
Now like I said, I've not read any of them (and to be frank I don't have the time to), but I'm not trying to "copy" a famous work or anything just because the title of the story is somewhat similar.
I get your concern, and I take it into my consideration, but I'm writing My Own Story here, seperate from the other fic in all but name, and so long as a majority of the readers don't see fault in using the name, then it shall be so. Thank you for your concern, truly.
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theres plenty of real, actual books out there that have the same or similar names. and even then, this is fanfiction of a childrens show. if it were a super specific, unique title, it would be a bigger deal, but its not that specific. just searching for stories titled "the witch of (the)" brings up a LOT of results.
and also, its not that unusual to have never heard of a different story. i hadnt heard of the witch of the everfree (2015) until just now, after reading this comment. its like getting upset because someone else named their oc the same thing as yours.
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Ignore the haters. Aside from the name, this is different enough from Magnet Bolt's story to not matter at all. Karens just need to grow up.
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Dude, things can share titles, and it's not like this story has stolen anything from the other.
Interesting story start. Added to read list.
Dang it. Most recent chapter got taken down before I could respond. Too bad, it actually looked really good.
Where the hell is the new chapter? This is in the Updated column.
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I'm very sorry! I had accidentally pressed the publish button as I was cleaning up the new chapter! Rest assured it'll be up later once I polish it!
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Is The Witch of the Everfree really as popular as everyone said it was? I mean, I read it, and I did like it, but it isn’t to the point where I’d call it one of the best fanfics on here.
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for hitting the publish button early.
Hey there. Thanks immensely for getting this chapter back up. VERY MUCH appreciate the effort going into the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Yeah, I could see where Rarity might develop something of an overactive imagination at times (such as incorrectly thinking Applejack and her family were being mind-controlled), but I did like that little look at her "day in the life" before she encountered Twilight. Definitely liked that Rarity was made to realize her mistake before any major harm was done. And that stuff with Gabriella (I'm guessing that to be Gabby Griffon's full name) was enjoyable too. Also liked that ending bit with Luna and Crystal Clear (the latter of whom I'm guessing to be Chrysalis's alias in this universe - especially from that mention of "Changeling" relations in the author's notes). And the author's notes on the focus characters of the chapter were great too.
VERY definitely looking forward to more of this.
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Aahh! Thank you! Stuff like this really gets me pumped about finally putting this three month old idea in the making out there! So glad that you could enjoy it so much and I can only hope other people find as much enjoyment in it too.
<Gabriella (I'm guessing that to be Gabby Griffon's full name)>
As for Gabriella, she will be a major supporting character moving forwards especially for Pinkie's chapter, however I will say that this Gabriella and Gabby are two different griffons all together but I sorta expected this would happen so it's understandable one would come to that conclusion. Concerning Crystal Clear... that's a story for another time
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More than fair enough. Definitely looking forward to the focus chapters on your spins on Rainbow, Pinkie and Fluttershy.
And, before I forget, Happy Halloween/Nightmare Night in advance.
😮🤯😱.
Oh hi Chrysaliss. You're not convincing me otherwise at the moment. Also makes me wonder if Luna is still the younger sister. Very few ever keep Celestia as the older of the two when they reverse the roles.
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After this book I do plan on writing this universe's version of Friendship is Magic Part 2! With that, Luna, Crystal Clear and even Daybreaker/Celestia will get a time in the spotlight so look out for that in the future! Cheers!
The title of this story reminded me of another series with the first book of the same name. But Sunset Shimmer is the protagonist.
Whoa that was another well-done chapter. REALLY liked this chapter's action prologue (very appropriate for military types) , dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Definitely can see where the start of this chapter would justify the tags mentioned earlier, but I did like the stuff between Fluttershy and Ditzy before Fluttershy checked back in on her Ponyville friends before her first meeting with Twilight. And, yeah, the stuff with Twilight recognizing the symbols because her own brother is high-ranked military was a beautiful touch. The Mythology Gag concerning Fluttershy and Spike's first meeting was great too, as was the light joke at the end indicating that Fluttershy was definitely warming up to Twilight.
VERY certainly looking forward to more of this.
Okay, this has officially caught my full attention. The Administration shall monitor this world.
Very interesting take on Fluttershy, and i love the personality you gave her! I also l love that she's good friend with Derpy and her daughter, as well as AJ. Her meeting with Twilight was about quite amusing (to me at least) to read and I look forward to more! I do wonder if we could expect more of Derpy in the future, or will she be more on and off random appeareances?
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We still have Rainbow Dash to cover so she'll be appearing there! Though for the most part she will be more of an on and off random appearance like you said, at least past this book. But I do have some plot ideas involving her so perhaps in the future she will get a dedicated one shot of her own!
Thanks for the kind words, Cheers!
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Quite welcome! I really look forward to seeing where you take this story!
Something I very greatly appreciate is that the fic respects the reader and doesn't try to overexplain the differences in the AU. The initial premise, plus the tribe swap with Rarity and Applejack before revealing she's a Kirin, eases the reader into the idea that things are different, before introducing elements by simply alluding to it and trusting the reader will roll with it. Looking forward to more.
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I've been stewing this comment in my head for the past few days now trying to find a way to respond and I'm very thankful for it! It's kinda awesome to see that part noticed cause it was very much an intentional choice as to tell the story if this world in a way that doesn't feel like it's being forced onto readers so I'm glad I achieved that effect! Cheers!
In English? Judging by Shy's reaction, Twilight wasn't supposed to know that. Being Luna's student though, Twilight probably knows a few things that would make Fluttershy's head spin.
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The literal Translation should be "[the] peace of night; prepare for war" basically a shortened translation of the orginal idea: "(For)/(to uphold) the peace of the night, we must (prepare)/(be prepared) for war."
Now I don't know how to speak latin, nor know anyone who can, so take that translation with a grain of salt but it should hopefully convey the message well enough.
I am interested of this story and for that I will follow but my main issue here is that you are throwing to much forced mistery here.
I mean, I get the plot twist of Applejack being a Kirin but her not knowing about that is like Elly (from Ice Age 2) not knowing that she was not a possum... which is weird but acceptable. Wish she was thrown out of the roof with such revelation.
Another one is about how everypony thinks about witches... I mean I am hopedul that we can get an insight but the fact that Fluttershy has a serious aversion about them has to be a red banner, right?
And last, if there is such a thing about witches, and probably alchemists due to Flutters hate as well, how is it that Twilight is Luna's student... much less Zecora's since she seems more of a shaman.
I wont press on these if they are spoilers but do please reconsider how to add mistery and not force it.
Hope for more stories and wish you well.
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Oooh I'm really excited to answer these cause it's worldbuilding lore I've been itching to throw out and with no way to insert it in story yet
Ok so first point, the Kirins in this world are in a deep period of isolation with very little of their kind actually venturing out of their lands, same as canon and alluded to by Twilight. Applejack however is an odd case because the way she got into the hooves of the Apple Family is a very specifc set of events (Think kung fu panda 2 just as an example) which led to her growing up in a household with no knowledge of Kirins and no other reference to what she is other than "she has no wings, has a horn, and she can do magic. Yeah she's a bit scaly and has a fluffier mane but maybe she's just a weird looking unicorn." Applejack knows she's not a unicorn, but with no other reference to jump off from, what else would she call herself really?
Second, witchcraft itself in this universe is a branch of magical study that deals in what most would call "black magic" in that it uses the inate mana and spellcasting of a unicorn in a much different and involved way from the traditional norms of the thaumic aristocracy, which values the traditional magical practices that was established by the Canterlot noble lineages (Ponyville may not be a unicorn town but it still lives under the shadow of the Equestrian capital both litterally and figuratively). But really it's just a different way to achieve magical mastery with no real ill implication. It's a social stigma about the practice that has no real basis in fact (like real stigmas really) which is why she can become Luna's student. Obviously the princess being centuries old would know that part. Now jumping a head a bit, Alchemy itself is a very close branch of the study of "black magic" and subsequently witchcraft. Zebrican Alchemy is the most advanced form of this practices mostly due to the fact it's the longest surviving deeply studied practice of alchemy in the world, something Zecora as a Shaman would know a lot about!
And that leads pretty well into the third point about Fluttershy's aversion to it. During Stalliongrad's revolt from the Equestrian Monarchy, a bloody war was raged between the EUPO and the revolutionaries. Fluttershy's regiment was one of the forces sent to keep the peace in the region. Equestrian alchemy is a mostly forgotten branch of the study but basics of it do still exist, with the now capital city of Stalliongrad having the largest collection of unstudied and incomplete documatation of the craft. The Red Army used this knowledge as well as an understanding of local flora to put these into use in wartime. Obviously this gained a reputation among soldiers with how these Red units seem to use "curses" and "black magic" offensively hence them getting the impromptu names of "Witches" despite not practicing any meaningful amount of actual witchcraft.
The medium of which I use to show this world as well as the lens in which the readers view it through is very small in comparison to my visions and ambitions for this world, and trust me, I don't mean to be overly mysterious, but I kinda have to do this as to not have to do unrelated expositionary lore dumps in the stories themselves. Despite that I'm more than happy to explain it in comments such as this so long as it's not spoilery for future projects hence why I was so excited to answer!
I'm very glad you're interested enough to follow it and I very much value your views on this matter, it's always nice to have interactions like this and I too hope for more of your enjoyment both in future chapters and projects. Cheers!
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Thanks immensely for the information. And Happy Thanksgiving/Harvest and Hugs Day in advance.
Great story. Looking forward to reading more.
So.... why did you decide to make Giana British?
Damn, being British is my least favorite disease, hope Giana gets better soon </3
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ok it's kinda funny lol
So me and my friend were looking at MLP place names for a Hamilton x MLP thing (different story; not related) and we happened upon a place called the Griffish Isles and that spawned an in joke between me them about Bri'ish Gilda which rapidly expanded into what if the Griffons are just British thus when making Pinkie into a Griffon we had the hilarious conclusion that we should make her british too! And that's how that turned out.
P.S. No Gabriella is not actually British (she's more hispanic/potuguese inspired) nor is every griffon that appears or will appear in the future with the Exception of the Pie Family... Maybe