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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Overall, decent but rough in some areas.
This is a lot longer than it needs to be and the second mention of surprise could be replaced with the word 'strangely' or 'oddly'.
Besides that, the character curses a bit more than I'd like. The first 'what the' could have trailed off there and given the cursing more effect.
Too much cursing and it tiring quick.
Last thing, the sword is ridiculous in size. I know it's your story, but that person sized sword just doesn't seem to work with the rest of your character's description.
Now two thirds his height? Fair, that's a greatsword. Fits better, but I understand not everyone will agree on this.
That's it for this chapter, hope I helped.
Interesting, though I feel like commiting violence for you having him explicitly step on and smush a book you heathen.
Nothing quite like being dumped into the world by an uncaring god only for it to go "Shoot I new I forgot something!" Returning 10 minutes later and chucking a sword at you like a meteor, watch you curl into a ball and shrug "ah he'll be fine!" And leave