Doused Flame

Sunset Shimmer had good grades, mostly good manners, and, at the risk of Flash tooting his own horn, a pretty good boyfriend.

After all, you wouldn't kiss someone you don't like.

A study of relationship.

Written for the Spring Fling Contest, where it won third place.

Tagged sex for references and implications; nothing explicit occurs onscreen. Content warning for underage drinking.

Review by PaulAsaran.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 5
- Newest First
- Oldest First

daOtterGuy

daOtterGuy #1 · Apr 25th, 2023 · 2 · ·

Howdy, hi~!

Hot damn that was a banger entry. Loved the imagery and wordplay you used in this. You really nailed Sunset pre-redemption and the kind of dynamic she might have had with Flash while they were dating. Everything all played into this theme of moving on and it was just really well written and poignant. Thanks for the read~!

EileenSaysHi

EileenSaysHi #2 · May 21st, 2023 · 3 · ·

This is a really, really impressive portrait of a relationship that’s deeply flawed, yet painfully real. It’s all too easy for stories to write of Sunset and Flash’s dating history as just manipulation on her part, using him as a minion or grifting off his social status. But here? You can see how much Flash cares for her and, in her own strange way, Sunset cares for him and appreciates him too. It's apparent that much of it is one-sided, but it's never fully that way; even as Sunset slips further and further down the path to darkness, there's still something there neither of them want to lose. It’s a wonderfully tragic tale you’ve crafted here, and it’s something I can totally imagine people reading and deciding that this is how things really went down between SunFlash. And the final line is exquisite. Congratulations on third place, and I do hope more people give this excellent story a read!

evelili

evelili #3 · Jun 11th, 2023 · 5 · ·

Heat may rise, but in the night air, Flash’s face was cold. His ankles were the same way, only that was because he had long outgrown these slacks. Even if he didn’t look it, he’d gained at least four inches in height since the seventh grade. Five if you counted the gel in his hair.

love the transitions here (heat and cold and cold ankles and height and hair gel) it rlly sets up a picture of who flash is in a nice nd concise way

Flash really did luck out, didn’t he? People always say that no high school relationship makes it past those four years, but staring at Sunset, with all this warmth bubbling in his stomach, he could see eight more years with her. Ten. Fifteen. Thirty.

oh man :(

“How did that get there?”
Something in Sunset’s voice gave him pause. She was still staring at the leaf, so Flash offered it to her, like an olive branch, but she stiffened and took a stumbling step back. Suddenly, he was glad she’d removed her shoes before they left. Kitten heel or no, he didn’t want her to fall and get hurt.
“Um, the wind, probably,” he said. “Or the trees got all—shaken. And you know. The leaf just sorta… fell.” Then he took her by the shoulder, brow creased. “Sunny, are you okay? What do you mean? Do you not like leaves?”
“I-I don’t—I don’t mind them, not at all, it’s just… Who moved them?”

we have the same braincell!!! weather seems like itd b one of the most jarring things for someone coming to the human world from equestria, esp w "normal" weather being associated w stuff like the everfree forest and uncontrollable magic and shit, and ofc it'd b one of the first differences sunset wud have to contend with on the other side. rlly rlly like this scene here

“What is it for?” she asked.
“For wearing.”

the perfect man

Flash pointed his fingers at her. “Looking sharp,” he said, and she swatted at him.

THE PERFECT MAN

“I don’t know. The main one talked like she was older, so probably a senior or something. There were a ton of other girls with her. I guess she just thought that I—what, do people only wear these for that one night and then never touch them again?” She shook the crown for emphasis.
“Yeah,” he admitted. “Kinda.”

ahhhh i physically cringed at the thought of her parading around w the tiara, not knowing that it wasn't "normal" to keep wearing it (good kind of cringe!! like the seeing a chara do smth embarrassing in a movie type of secondhand embarrassment lol). u do a rlly good job of slowly painting out sunset's fall from "ambitious but hesitant outsider" to "yeah okay this tracks with eqg 1", and im all here for it

He used to apologize for her. She wasn’t sure how it made her feel, but it made him feel better. After a while, he stopped handing them out. No one ever wanted to take them.

oof. love the parallels in here, and the rhythm of it. i like to "hear" what i read, and these four sentences really hit the sweet spot lol

“Just give me the damn notes already.”
He gave her the damn notes already.

THE RHYTHM IM TELLING YOU UR NAILING IT

“Do you not like me?”
Perhaps a ditch would have been better. Or somebody not using their blinkers on the highway. Or a combination of both.
Flash replied, voice steady and even, “We’ve been together since freshman year.”

ahhhh good old sunk cost whatever-ya-callit,,,, because theyve been together since freshman year so of COURSE theyre gonna keep being together bc if they dont then what was the point of all their time spent and why did flash not notice the water getting warmer until he was already boiled? and he keeps telling himself its ok and ignoring the signs and hhhh youve written things with such a hand in realism that i could name more ppl this has happened to than i have fingers to count on, and that realism just makes it all the more tragic for it

Flash broke it off at her apartment. He’s pretty sure that’s not how you’re supposed to break up with someone, but there’s no manual on ending a relationship with Sunset Shimmer and he really, really didn’t want to look into one.

what a line. rlly rlly like this, shows a lot abt sunset and even more abt flash in a single sentence

Sunset never did get that split lip checked out. The one she got from that fight. He’d told her she needed to, that he didn’t want it to scar or anything like that. She said she would be fine. He trusted her. He did that a lot.

again love the rhythm here, the way u loop back around to earlier events and then smack the reader in the face abt trust in a way that relates to everything and mostly the present. you've got a great sense for the flow of words and how to weave em

On the horizon, the sun sunk deeper into the ground. Flash did not follow it.

this is such a great pair of lines to end on, esp w the imagery of flash dead in the trunk of a car earlier in this section. rlly evokes the sense of feeling so bad u just want to crawl into ur own grave, but not giving into it despite how easy it is to lie down rather than keep trudging forward.

ive put off reading this for far too long (so many things to read! so little time!!), and im so glad ive finally gotten the time to get to it as it's an incredibly cohesive oneshot and character study of both sunset and flash and their relationship together. incredibly well-deserved in its placing in the contest, fantastic work ^^

Lurks-no-More

Lurks-no-More #4 · Jul 3rd, 2023 · 2 · ·

This was fantastic. One of the very best takes on Flash and Sunset before the movie happened.

Loved the little hints of Sunset's horsiness leaking through, like her being spooked by the leaf that fell off by itself, or her snorting and kicking behind her when frustrated. And the dynamic between them, Flash getting deeper into denial as Sunset grows more ruthless... All the way until the end, you still feel there's a genuine connection there, even when it's growing more and more strained.

Beautiful work, and well deserving the third place in the contest!

PaulAsaran