With the end of Discord’s chaotic reign, Equestria stands on the brink of a golden age of peace and prosperity under the rule of its two princesses Celestia and Luna, but bitterness in Luna’s heart threatens to throw this new order into darkness. However the arrival of a strange being from another world changes what could be. Will he be able to curb the bitter hatred in Luna’s heart or will his actions cast the shadow of war over a fragile Equestria?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not bad. Need to improve on some grammar, as well as the princesses speech. Since this takes place a thousand years before the main storyline, both Celestia and Luna would speak in the old Royal voice.
I also notice that sometimes you don't finish your character lines with another ", which can be confusing. Also, when the main character speaks, make sure you put in in italics, since that seems to be the most common way people write thoughts.
The cover img reminds me of Beelzemon:
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Thanks for the tips. I hadn't noticed the quotations problem. I'll fix that this weekend. As for the speech I was trying to go for a thing where Celestia is beginning to move on while Luna's bitterness keeps her in the past. But if anyone else comments on it I'll probably start changing it. But thanks for reading I hope you like it.
1347445
Huh. Didn't think of that when I found the image, but damn it does doesn't it? Nice.
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If you do decide to change it, and need help/advice on how to write Early Modern English (which is the what the royal voice is) I'll be more than happy to help with some lines. Just PM me and we can discuss some things. This story looks like it has promise, and I'll be keeping and eye on it.
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that will actually be really helpful. I might just pm you Luna's lines in advance for the next part then.
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Alrighty. That sounds great. I have mastered Early Modern English enough to where I can speak it with reasonable accuracy.
I liked this a whole lot, I hope you continue it!
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I plan to. Honestly the story is all planned out in my head. Its just that with the popularity of my other two stories, this one has become a lesser priority. However I will do my best to continue this story. I would hate for it to just stay as is if there readers who like it enough to leave comments. Thanks for your support, and I hope that I can get something for this up relatively soon. Though I wouldn't expect one for a while. Thanks again for reading and I hope that you continue to enjoy my stories.