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Fernin

Joined October 2011
366 followers

Stories (13)

  • Whip and Wing
    Daring Do & Indiana Jones battle each others' enemies in a race to save their worlds and themselves.

    55,000 words · 13,684 views · 1,271 likes · 21 dislikes
  • Walkies
    Two ponies: the stallion wishes he was a royal guard. The mare thinks she's a dog. THEY FIGHT CRIME!
    15,453 words · 1,198 views · 105 likes · 0 dislikes
  • Striped Like Me
    This tale's Bridle Gossip, but slightly redone. Now AJ's alone in her Poison Joke Fun!
    12,530 words · 16,033 views · 408 likes · 11 dislikes
  • My Little Person: The Strange Case of Lyle Hartman
    A man wakes up in Lyra's body... But how can he avoid ruining Lyra's life if nopony believes him?
    25,645 words · 4,314 views · 202 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Airborne
    23,992 words · 2,789 views · 146 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Strange Bedfellows
    9,241 words · 1,422 views · 68 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Moonshine
    4,592 words · 1,652 views · 43 likes · 2 dislikes
  • Old vs New
    25,177 words · 3,657 views · 120 likes · 12 dislikes
  • The Black Shirt
    1,142 words · 1,332 views · 80 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Winter's End
    4,243 words · 1,301 views · 30 likes · 2 dislikes

Blog Posts (14)


Zecora is coming to market today

So Applejack tells Apple Bloom, stay away!

When the filly tries anyway, she's quite quickly caught

And AJ sends her right back home at a trot.

Though I have the actual plot line derailed,

We'll push right on through with an alternate tale

Of how Applejack learns about stripes, fur, and skin--

And how little they're worth next to what lies within.

So sit yourself down please, and read to the end

About how an earth pony got her zebra friend.

It's not all in rhyme, though; don't give in to gloom

But after this dear God I am not putting two zebra characters in a room together because GOOD LORD SO MUCH RHYMING; WHAT WAS I THINKING AAAAAHHHH!  Er, I mean...

But new personal rule: JUST ONE ZEBRA PER ROOM.


A/N: Special thanks to Rated-R PonyStar for providing me with much-needed editing / pre-reading / input.

So yes as you may have guessed this is a rewrite of the season 1 episode Bridle Gossip in which I take the starting point and go wandering off towards the same general destination by an entirely different route.

Art for this is from Alfa995, the guy who runs the Ask Nightmare Moon HQ Tumblr.

I initially got the idea from this picture by the artist Elosande

First Published
26th Dec 2011
Last Modified
26th Dec 2011

Comments ( 107 )

#1 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

:unsuresweetie:Ummmm......:ajbemused:........I really like her...mane *good story*

#2 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

Hmm. Good art and zebra characters? You sir have my full and undivided attention....oh look shiny thing.:pinkiehappy:

#3 · Chapter 1 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

The writing style is interesting. Other than a few misplaced dashes and colons, everything checks out. The accents could use a bit of work though. Having set rules for certain words helps, but it helps even more to sound whatever you're writing out. Accents exist to make speaking easier, so what you write should just roll off the tongue.

Applejack seems a bit out of character. Sure, she should embody the southern racist, but she just isn't that kind of character. Her harsh treatment of Applebloom and her brutal honesty aren't very endearing, either. Hopefully, the plot — which is brilliant, by the way — can explain this a bit more and redeem her.

#4 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

I like it (good stuff, you think those ponies would learn racism is bad (Especially sense that brought the windigo to there ancestor and nearly turn there world to a eternal ice hell.)

#5 · Chapter 1 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

We need a Zecora emoticon. Until then Celestia will have to do :trollestia: KARMA baby. Nice use of Poison Joke in this story, I imagine Twilight will have a VERY interesting report to make to Celestia. Now I must read Chapter 2 :)

#6 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

I LOVE IT! (I want to see more) btw heres some stuff to see

http://adcoon.deviantart.com/art/Applecora-274056243

http://iopichio.deviantart.com/art/Zecora-271424488

http://zomashu.deviantart.com/art/With-Some-Pie-241396805

#7 · Chapter 1 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

I agree to a certain extent with the above post. However, I disagree on the racist part. To begin with, the ponies don't actually hate Zecora, they actually seem to be more afraid of her supposed hexes and curses more than anything.  If Applejack was racist she would just use "Zebras" instead of "Zecora" when she was talking about her.  As for Applejack's treatment of Applebloom, she is just trying to be a good sister and is worried about Aplebloom's safety in the latter half of the story.

As for the writing itself, the dialogue fits well with the characters and the setting is very well written. I can;t wait to read the next chapter.

#8 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

Great story, I really liked it. Would've been funny if Applejack had become a Zebra in the TV show :twilightsmile:

#9 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

Wait. Incomplete means more chapters. YAY!:pinkiehappy:

#10 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

Favorited!

#11 · Chapter 1 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

This sounds pretty damn good. Will continue reading, my good writer!

-Glassed

#12 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

>>89263

:raritydespair: :facehoof:  Actually it means that I fail at ensuring I clicked the correct button when submitting a story.  Sorry, that's all she wrote.  

>>89113

Hmm, thanks.  I'll take another gander at it regarding the accent

>>89200

Woo, thanks! : D

#13 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

If I may say, you could leave it at that. A nice ending, it definitively had.

This could have been an ending, of truth and friendship. Yet keep them coming, and... :facehoof:

:ajbemused: Ah buck it! I liked it, please make more! :pinkiehappy:

-Glassed

#14 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

A story of zebras I must see this.

And what's this, featured as well?

Thid is a story no one should miss,

All I can say is, aw, what the hell.

I love this story to it's entirety,

Please make more for the sake of society!

#15 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

I implore you, good sir, don't be shy to make more.

These escapades written we do so adore.

But if that's all there is, and this story is shelved,

I'll simply make do, and just write more, myself.

#16 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

wow dude. amazing story! :rainbowkiss:

#17 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

>>89642

Awwwww:fluttershysad:

#18 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

YAY!! RACISM!!!

#19 · Chapter 1 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

Applejack does seem a bit out of character, but I love the whole gag about her being literally forced to rhyme everything she says.

#20 · Chapter 1 · 139w, 5d ago · · 1 ·

i would like to say ''i like this story''...

...but i hope it turns a bit gory

i have a what twisted mind....

...its the blood shed i like to find.

but even so it makes me grin...

...and difinitely a laugh came in.

for as it is, as it is now...

...i do have to make my bow.

the story about a pony in organge...

...:facehoof: ow snap well asome job keep it up

#21 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

Great story but I have to wonder, if Applejack is this much of a bigot with zebras why did she give Twilight and Spike such a warm welcome? Are Zebras more deadly than dragons now?:applejackunsure: And if she was this angry at Zecora she might have murdered Gilda. O.o

#22 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

I have to say that this is the first fic where I've wanted to sock Applejack in the jaw.

That being said, it's an interesting idea, well written, and the characters, including Applejack, are depicted in a believable manner

4.5 stars

#23 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

It is over :raritydespair:

#24 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

Cool story bro.

#25 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

:moustache: that is all oh and 5 stars :rainbowkiss:

#26 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

We're surprised to have seen such racism

from creatures every color of the spectrum.

It's something that you wouldn't expect

like that allegorical episode of the oldest Star Trek.

In every episode of MLP we see

three pony races living in harmony.

The issues the writers seemed to have ducked

is that the Earth Ponies are throughly screwed.

#27 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

dang raciest ponies :facehoof: im going to track this it a new perspective

Also great use of the poison joke i think you could even do the same to pinky :pinkiegasp:

also who sort of caught on during the episode :trixieshiftright::trixieshiftleft:

Fin
#28 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 5d ago · · ·

Ah good story with a good plot. I enjoyed it.

                                   -Fin

#29 · Chapter 1 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

Applejack's bitterness towards Twilight strikes me as something that needs resolution within the story. More as it comes to me, but this is an interesting idea.

#30 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

Epic what if

scenario story

plz write more what if stories

#31 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

I for one feel this story was too short,

and for this I will leave a small retort.

It was a short read,

but ended with a good deed.

Applejack had an unjust attitude,

But Zecora was very shrewd.

She saw through this ponies hate,

and they ended up friends, if just a bit late.  :ajsmug:

#32 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

nice, good, interesting solid story. Rhyming is awesome. Apple-rasist is very funny to read. Overall, I was happy :pinkiehappy:

#33 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

This looks to be a story of good pedigree.

#34 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

What would have happened if Zebrajack used a word like orange? Would her brain melt?:applejackconfused:

#35 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

>>90785 Or silver, if they tried to do that they'd probably panic.

I think they should make that a joke on the show... :trollestia:

#36 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

Love the description and the story! :D

#37 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

Cool story bro.

#38 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

>>89642 I wouldn't be too sure about that.

I smell something roundabout, for romance hides about.

Just an idea to go on. But it certainly would be an interesting shipping to be sure.

Nopony has done it yet either.

#39 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

Now my headcanon is that Applejack's "Zebra sense remark to Zecora in "The Cutie Pox" was actually an inside joke between the two.

#40 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

Goooooooooood...

:flutterrage:NOW SHIP THEM!:flutterrage:

#41 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

Very good story! I like the way you've explored Applejack's stubbornness and conservative attitude while also exploring the reasons for her prejudice in quite a reasonable fashion. The rhyming was very well written, and quite hilarious when Applejack had to do it.

#42 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

>>90492 this could have turned into full on friend/romance-shipping, and i would have supported it all the way.

#43 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

This was extremely good There isn't enough Zecora in this fandom.

Also I feel bad that you had to deal with all the Rhyming.

Wanderer D
Moderator
#44 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

:pinkiehappy: Heh, had me grinning like an idiot at the end, very good story, thank you! :ajsmug:

(It also makes me realize we are missing Zecora smileys!) :facehoof:

#45 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

>>90785

Actually, orange does have rhymes. Strange, Mange, Range, those are but a few that we've used many times.

>>91122 Silver, Sliver, River. You need not ryhme all of the word. You can ryhme just about half of it, so long as you have a reasonable amount of letters left, like the above Orange and Strange, and Silver and Sliver. Hell, they don't even need to be spelled the same. They just have to sound the same.

#46 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

An amazing fic.

Truly unique in its scope.

Five stars all around.

(Poetry buffs, count syllables. :rainbowwild: )

#47 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 4d ago · · ·

Applejack just seems way too out of character in this.

#48 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 3d ago · · ·

Dem zebras I tell ya what:applejackconfused:

Nah I'm joking, I'm not racist, although I think Applejack might be.

#49 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 3d ago · · ·

Reading this tale was good and fun, I hope you write another one.

#50 · Chapter 2 · 139w, 3d ago · · ·

Created Potion of Cure Poison Joke. Alchemy increased to 35.

Now that the Skyrim reference is out of the way, I can tell you that this story is awesome. Usually I would follow praise with some sort of critique, but I really couldn't find anything wrong. Very, very well done.

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