Chapter 01: Bad on the Inside, Bad on the Outside
Rolling out of the basket like a miniature avalanche, the bushel of sweet-smelling red fruit tumbled into a bin in the apple cart. Applejack wiped her brow with one dusty hoof and sighed. Like any other Saturday, today was filled with hard work—but the orange mare wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, this was market day, and anything that consistently left Sweet Apple Acres a few hundred bits richer was all right in AJ’s book.
Frustrated grumbling from around the other side of the cart told Applejack that her sister wasn’t taking such a philosophical view of their labors. Applejack could remember when she’d been a little filly. She’d always loved days like today… They seemed like the perfect excuse to frolic through the family farm, exploring all the little nooks and crannies and interesting spots that young ponies found so attractive.
Too bad those days always seemed to come when there was work to be done. But hey, that just made it all the sweeter when the Apple family did get some time off—times when the chores were done. Times when the applebucking was over and the harvest was in. Times… that were not market day.
“C’mon, Apple Bloom! You wanna be a big pony and help yer big sis, don’tcha?” Applejack coaxed as she heaved another bushel of apples into the cart.
“Ah am a big pony!” the little filly protested with her teeth clenched on the stem of an apple. Apple Bloom tossed the fruit up into a waiting bin with an annoyed flick of her head. Applejack just chuckled. Her little red-maned sister reminded the orange mare more and more of herself at that age: growing up fast… and thinking it wasn’t fast enough.
Apple Bloom was just about to toss another apple into the cart when an orange hoof shot out and blocked the way. The fruit dropped from the little filly’s mouth and rolled to a stop next to the cart’s wheel. Apple Bloom scowled up at her big sister in protest. “Applejack! What’d ya do that fer?!”
“Ya gotta pay attention, Apple Bloom. Look at that there apple and tell me what ya see,” Applejack directed.
The yellow earth pony stared at the fruit as though it might jump up and bite her. She moved closer. Finally, Apple Bloom looked up at her blond-maned sister and shrugged. “Ah don’t know whatcha mean, AJ. It’s an apple, ain’t it?”
“Yup… a rotten apple. See these bruises these here? And this brown spot there? This apple ain’t no good to anypony ‘cept as fertilizer,” Applejack explained, rolling the offending fruit under her hoof.
Amber eyes still skeptical, Apple Bloom glanced between the apple and her big sister. “That don’t seem right… Ah mean, the skin of an apple’s not the important bit… Woah!”
Applejack smiled. She’d interrupted the little filly’s objection with a quick stomp of her hoof. The unpleasant, sickly sweet odor of spoiled apples drifted up from the crushed brown mass on the ground. “Thing ya gotta understand, little Sis… When an apple is bad on the inside, it tells ya—it looks bad on the outside, too. Fact o’ nature.”
“But…” Apple Bloom stared down at the remains of the apple and grimaced. She could see a few small white grubs writhing in the pungent brown pulp.
“No buts, ya hear? Now c’mon, help me load up the rest of these here apples and watch which ones yer putting in the cart! This is gonna be a good market day for Sweet Apple Acres, and Ah don’t intend to sell nopony some rotten apples ‘cos mah ‘big pony’ sister don’t have her mind on th’ job.” With that, Applejack went back to work. Suitably admonished, Apple Bloom joined her—this time, carefully scrutinizing every gleaming red fruit before it went into the cart.
With two earth ponies working on the task, it wasn’t long until the cart was loaded. Applejack pushed her hat back and let the wind blow some sweat off her brow. That hadn’t been the hardest work she’d done all season, but it was nice to have the help. “Well, Apple Bloom… Since yer a big pony now, would ya kindly hitch yerself to this here cart so we can take our produce ta town?”
The irritated look Apple Bloom gave her big sister was worth the earful Applejack was probably going to get about it later from Big Macintosh. “All right, all right, just joshin’ you. C’mon.”
Fitting herself into the harness, Applejack heaved the cart into motion and started down the road towards Ponyville. The little yellow filly trotted alongside, eyeing her big sister every now and again.
Apple Bloom obviously had something on her mind, but Applejack knew better than just to offer her a bit for her thoughts. The little filly would tell her what it was, in time. In fact…
“Sis?” Apple Bloom asked.
“A’yup?” replied Applejack, doing her best Big Mac impression.
Apple Bloom giggled before continuing, “Ah was wondering… What ya said about apples bein’ bad inside, bein’ bad outside too.”
“Aaaayup?” A quick grab at some overlong grass by the roadside let Applejack take her impression up a notch, earning her another giggle from Apple Bloom.
“Is that… D’ya think that’s true of ponies too?”
Applejack nodded slowly as the cart trundled along behind her. “No doubt about it, lil’ Sis. Like Ah said… Bad on the inside, bad on the outside. Fact o’ nature.”
The two earth ponies trotted on without further conversation, enjoying the pleasant weather. Applejack smiled to herself. This was going to be a good day.
* * *
…At least, it had started out as a good day. Applejack shivered for reasons that had nothing to do with the temperature. Of all the days for her to show up, it had to be today.
Applejack ground her teeth. That danged… Zecora. The earth pony hesitated even to think the name too strongly. There was no telling what that… that… what had Twilight called her? A ‘zebra?’ There was no telling what that zebra could get up to in a pony’s brain.
The sturdy farm pony shuddered. Years of hard work on Sweet Apple Acres had given Applejack a body that could deal with nearly any physical threat and the confidence to match. But this crazy hoodoo of Zecora’s was something Applejack’s hooves couldn’t touch. And that scared the apples right out of her.
Pinkie Pie’s awful song about evil enchantresses and stews didn’t help things, either. Applejack found herself reaching out with one hoof to hold Apple Bloom tight—much to her little sister’s obvious annoyance.
But now of course Twilight Sparkle, being the book-learning-above-all-else silly filly that she was, was downplaying the striped zebra’s obvious menace. The unicorn’s voice dripped with sarcasm as she made a one-mare assault on the obvious facts of the situation. “…Now tell me, what exactly have you actually seen Zecora do?”
Rainbow Dash looked thoughtful. “Well, once a month, she comes into Ponyville…”
“Oooooh,” Twilight mocked, waving one dismissive hoof as she all but invaded Rainbow Dash’s personal space. Fluttershy jerked back slightly to avoid contact, having had the misfortune to stand marginally closer to the skeptical unicorn than her more colorful friend.
Rarity took up the baton, looking nervously around the room for support. “Then, she lurks by the stores…”
“Oh my,” groaned Twilight theatrically. Behind the librarian’s back, Rarity flashed the other mares a hurt expression. Everypony was thinking the same thing. What the hay was Twilight’s problem?
“And then, she digs at the ground,” Fluttershy whispered. Applejack found herself nodding. There was just no reason for somepony to do that. It was creepy—and it made holes in the street. She’d had to tug the apple cart through a pothole caused by one of Zecora’s earlier visits just this morning, and it hadn’t been fun. Stupid zebra, messing up the good Ponyville streets for no reason…
“Good gracious!” exploded Twilight with all the melodramatic horror she could muster. Fluttershy drooped, chastened into silence.
Applejack felt her jaw tighten at the sight of Twilight Sparkle practically galloping right over whatever else the yellow pegasus had been about to say. What was wrong with that mare? If she was trying to study the magic of condescending your friends, she was sure as shooting well on her way to writing her own book on the subject.
Seemingly reading Applejack’s thoughts, Twilight sighed. “Okay, I’m sorry…”
Well, that was better, then. But before anypony could accept the apology, Twilight took it all back with, “…But how is any of this bad? Maybe she comes to town to visit!”
Right. Somepony—some zebra—just hides in the Everfree Forest and doesn’t say a thing to anypony, and then suddenly appears one day out of every month without any warning or so much as a how-do-you-do. If Twilight was making a point, Applejack couldn’t see it.
But to Applejack’s dismay, Apple Bloom seemed to be buying into the entire cartload of manure. The little yellow filly nodded, her face a mask of earnest intent. “Yeah! Maybe she’s just tryin’ to be neighborly!”
“…And maybe she’s not lurking by the stores. Maybe she’s going to them. Lurk free. To do some shopping?” Twilight grinned at her clever logic, obviously expecting to win over the crowd.
Nopony was buying it, and Applejack knew why. Who had ever seen Zecora go into a store? Nopony. Who had ever said they’d sold anything to her? Nopony. Where would that weird zebra even get the bits to buy things living out by herself in the Everfree Forest? What, was she making her own bits out there? Nope. The earth pony could tell a clever fiction when she saw one.
Unfortunately, Apple Bloom couldn’t. She was obviously too wrapped up in the idea of being on the same page as the smartest pony in Ponyville to notice that the apples she was getting served up to her were horseapples. Her amber eyes glittered with righteous indignation as she played backup fiddle to Twilight Sparkle. “Yeah! Everypony likes to shop! You know what Ah think?”
Seasons and Celestia preserve Equestria from the wisdom of little fillies who were just out of diapers. Applejack had had enough. “Apple Bloom! Hush. C’mere, you.”
Taking Apple Bloom off a few paces, Applejack lowered her voice and hissed, “Remember what Ah said about them bad apples…”
“But Ah—” Apple Bloom started to protest.
Applejack hugged her sister tightly and shushed her. “Hush now, you silly filly. Look, ever since our pa and ma… passed... who’s been takin’ care of ya?”
“Granny Smith an’ Big Mac an’ you, Sis… But—” Apple Bloom tried to struggle free, but Applejack hadn’t been bucking apples for so many seasons to let a little critter like her sister get away that easily.
“An’ even when we seem wrong at th’ time, don’t we always love ya and try to do what’s best for ya?” Applejack continued, keeping the red-maned filly tightly in her grasp.
The conversation had been continuing behind the two earth ponies as Twilight Sparkle kept up her relentless assault on common sense. The unicorn practically shouted, “I’m sure there’s an explanation for everything Zecora does. And if anypony here were actually brave enough to approach her, she would find out the truth!”
“Well Ah’m brave enough!” Apple Bloom managed to slip free of her big sister’s grasp, only to find herself jerked to a halt before she could make her escape.
“A’nope,” Applejack growled, her words slightly muffled through Apple Bloom’s fur and big red bow. “Yer gonna come back with me to th’ farm, an’ we are gonna have words. Yer not going near th’ Everfree Forest, an’ you are not gonna talk to any weird, stripey-furred zebras unless yer big sis says it’s okay! Now c’mon!”
Leaving the shocked quintet of mares behind her, Applejack transitioned her grip to her sister’s ear and practically dragged the protesting yellow filly out the door. They made a beeline straight for Sweet Apple Acres.
* * *
“That dern Twilight, fillin’ mah sister’s head with crazy ideas,” Applejack grumbled to herself as she pulled the emptied apple cart into the barn. The day at the market had not gone well, all thanks to that strange black-and-white enchantress. It was a bit hard to sell anything to customers who were busy cowering in their houses. Oh, and Twilight Sparkle’s annoyingly preachy rant. That hadn’t improved the day, either.
Applejack wasn’t an unreasonable pony. She could see the argument for not judging someone by their exterior… but wasn’t that the whole point of things like cutie marks? The orange-furred mare looked back at the trio of red apples that adorned each flank. She knew who she was, but those apples helped other ponies to know too—at a glance. Nice and simple.
Where did high and mighty Canterlot-born ponies like Twilight get off saying anything about judging ponies, anyway? Cousin Apple Brown Betty had brought back quite some tales about life in Canterlot… and about how the unicorns up there treated earth ponies. ‘Dirt pony,’ some of the more honest unicorns had called Betty. It was disgusting.
One final grunt and Applejack had the cart parked for the evening. It had still been far too full when she brought it back; the earth pony would have to do the same thing all over again tomorrow. Thank you, Zecora, for that wonderful opportunity. The farmer considered giving her apple cart a vicious kick, but that would hurt no one but herself—well it would hurt the cart, anyway.
Glancing at the sky, Applejack could see that the sun was dipping low towards the horizon. Her stomach rumbled. It was nearly time for dinner. She could already smell the heavenly scent of spiced apples wafting out of the kitchen where Big Mac slaved away over a hot stove.
A lot of ponies assumed that the hulking red stallion did most of the manual labor while all three females of the local Apple clan did all the “mare’s work.” That just showed what they knew… which was nothing much about the price of apples in Hoofington. Applejack grinned. Speaking of which… The farmer did some calculations, muttering to herself. “Lessee… should be about… Five bits per quarter-bushel this week. If’n Aunt Bramley was right about this year’s yield.”
The orange mare trotted up to the house just in time for Big Mac to ring the dinner bell. Applejack pushed open the door and walked inside. “Hey, Big Mac. Dinner gonna be good tonight?”
“A’yup,” the big stallion replied through his teeth. Gripping a spatula with his muzzle, he carefully flipped an apple fritter from the skillet onto one of the waiting plates and turned back to the stove.
Applejack glanced around the kitchen. Hmm. Apple Bloom must be washing up; she could hear water running in the next room. Smiling, the mare called to her younger sister. “Now, ya naughty little filly, ya best be washin’ those hooves extra good tonight!”
“Eh? Speak up,” replied the cracked, whispery voice of Granny Smith. The ancient matriarch of the Apple clan peeked her head out of the scullery and speared her young granddaughter with a rheumy stare. “Did ya jest call yer gran a filly? Why, when Ah was yer age…”
The rushing of blood in Applejack’s ears drowned out anything else Granny Smith might have said about times long before when the old green mare was Applejack’s age. Where was Apple Bloom? “Big Mac… Didn’t Ah leave Apple Bloom with you..? Where is she?”
Ever talkative, Big Mac simply shrugged. His gesture seemed to indicate that wherever Apple Bloom had gone, she could have gotten there ages ago for all the attention he’d been paying.
“Ah told ya she needed watchin’, Big Mac!” Applejack complained. The red stallion shrugged again. She was an Apple, wasn’t she? She wasn’t going knowingly to get into a situation she couldn’t handle. And after all, there was cooking to be done.
“Why, ya big, stupid—!” cried the mare. Applejack groaned and covered her face with one hoof. She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Yelling at Big Mac, dumb lunk that he was, wasn’t going to help.
All right, Applejack. No need to be a silly pony about this. Apple Bloom couldn’t have gone far, right? No reason to assume that she had done anything too stupid… Oh, who was she kidding? The orange mare was off like a shot, crying her little sister’s name. “Apple Bloom! Apple Bloom, y’all best c’mere this instant! Apple Bloom! Ah’m gonna tan yer hide if ya are where Ah bet ya are!”
Big Macintosh and Granny Smith exchanged glances in the suddenly quiet kitchen. Big Mac sighed. “An’ she runs off like that without tellin’ anypony where Apple Bloom mighta’ gone that has ‘er so spooked. That mare needs to calm the buck down… Ow!”
“Language, young’n! Or y’all feel the back of mah hoof again!” Granny Smith exclaimed, brandishing the threatened hoof in front of her grandson’s heavily-built muzzle.
The stallion massaged his cheek gently, working away the sting of the ancient pony’s whip-quick slap. “S-sorry, Granny…”
“Iffen ya can’t say it without those words, it’s not worth sayin’… Though Applejack does need ta slow down. Apple Bloom’s an Apple, an’ no Apple worth ‘er name is gonna get inta more trouble ‘n she can handle. Silly pony,” sighed the aged mare.
Joints creaking with age, Granny Smith slid into her chair at the head of the table. She winced a bit when the chair creaked almost as much as her bones did. Once everything seemed to settle down, though, the old green mare brightened. “So! Let’s eat.”
“A’yup…” The chair next to the matriarch’s honored spot groaned faintly as Big Mac lowered his bulk into it.
The stallion reached for an apple fritter—and his grandmother’s hoof whipped out again. “A’yeouch!”
Granny Smith’s sigh spoke volumes. “Colts these days, Ah tell ya… Not until we thank Celestia, ya rowdy heathen.”
“Sorry, Granny…”
* * *
Applejack’s breath rasped in her throat as she galloped in the eerie half-night of the Everfree Forest. Wind whispered through the leaves, passing the message from twisted oak to knotted hawthorn: a farmer was coming—one who had made taming their brethren her life’s work. Gnarled tree branches slashed at the orange mare as she hurried past, tearing into her with vengeful wooden claws.
There was a small splash of light ahead in the gloom. This had to be the place. Pushing through the mists, Applejack slowed to a trot and practically felt her way forward. She pushed through a large thicket. She crawled under a massive deadfall tree too high to jump over and too wide to bypass. Grimacing at the strange smell, the earth pony waded through a thick patch of eerie bluish plants that left a faint, tingling residue on her skin.
“Part of that witch’s unholy garden Ah bet,” Applejack muttered to herself as she scowled down at the blue leaves. “Celestia banish th’ zebras…”
Panting and bloodied, Applejack paused to catch her breath at the door of the witch’s hovel. The structure seemed to be carved from one single, crabbed tree almost like a dark parody of Twilight Sparkle’s library. The earth pony leaned against the slimy bark of the tree, listening intently to the low murmur of conversation drifting through the wood. One voice was deep, with a strange timbre and an odd rhythmic cadence. The other…
Zecora and her little yellow guest looked up as the zebra’s door crashed open. The door slammed against the wall of the hut, the doorknob denting the living wood as the doorjamb creaked alarmingly. Apple Bloom squealed in surprise. “What th’-!”
Standing in the open doorway was Applejack. Her green eyes practically blazed in the flickering candles of the hut’s strange interior. The brim of the earth pony’s hat cast strange shadows on her face as she growled out an order that brooked no protest. “Apple Bloom. Get over here… NOW.”
Apple Bloom had only seen her big sister like this once before—the time Apple Bloom had wanted to stay out and play during a light rainstorm. When the weather turned sour and the first lightning bolt arced into the ground not two miles from the farm, Applejack had called for her little sister to head for the house. The filly had thought it was a joke until the next bolt came closer and the third landed closer still.
Scared out of her senses, Apple Bloom had huddled under a creaking apple tree and started to pray. The sight of her big sister galloping towards her in the storm, rain drenching her mane and pouring off the felt brim of her hat, had seemed like the coming of Princess Celestia herself. The spanking the little yellow filly had gotten for disobeying Applejack once they were both safe back at the house had, not so coincidentally, also seemed like the coming of the Solar Princess… just in a different and more painful way.
Applejack’s raised hackles and near snarl were like a dark reflection of that earlier rescue. Nearly without any conscious decision on her part, Apple Bloom moved forward to obey her sister’s command. For a moment, Applejack’s face softened as she hugged her sister close. “C’mon little Sis, let’s getcha home.”
New rage blazed from the orange mare’s eyes as she looked from her sister back up to Zecora. “You…”
Zecora’s calm sapphire eyes met Applejack’s furious green glare. The zebra sat down on her haunches, the golden loops of her jewelry jingling as she assumed a nonthreatening, relaxed posture. The black and white creature sized up her uninvited visitor. “Hmm… A hat, golden mane, and three red fruits in back… I presume you’re the pony they call Applejack?”
“An’ yer that witch, Zecora. Stay away from mah sister or Ah’ll buck yer tree house right on its side!” If Applejack had hoped that Zecora would bristle from the threat—or from the angry hoof practically shoved up her muzzle—she was disappointed.
The zebra jerked back to avoid being struck, but kept the same infuriatingly calm demeanor. In fact, she almost seemed to smile. “My apologies, Applejack, if I offended… You insist? Then, my time with your sister is ended.”
“Yer darn tootin’ it is.” Applejack delivered that last with an angry toss of her mane as she wheeled around and trotted for the door, Apple Bloom in tow. The little yellow filly cast an apologetic look over her shoulder, but followed her sister outside.
Applejack took great satisfaction in slamming the door behind her. Stupid, weird, stripey enchantress. And what was with those bizarre rhymes? Talking like that all the time? Hah, yeah right. The zebra was probably laughing into her hoof at them right now.
Pushing such thoughts aside, Applejack turned to her sister. Her heart sank. Apple Bloom looked ready to cry—no, scratch that. Tears were already rolling silently down the little filly’s cheeks as she looked up into the determined eyes of her big sister. The orange mare bent low, trying to make soothing sounds. “Shhh… Don’t cry on me, Apple Bloom. Yer safe now; Ah’m here. Let’s go… But the next time Ah tell you not to talk to zebras, y’all better listen.”
“Ah… Sis, she isn’t bad at all,” Apple Bloom protested—but Applejack had already started moving. Grinding her teeth in frustration, the yellow earth pony followed behind her big sister. Although Apple Bloom cast worried looks back towards Zecora’s hut, it was no use. In a few minutes, the mists had closed behind them and the hut could no longer be seen.
By the time the two ponies returned to Sweet Apple Acres, both were exhausted. Applejack forced Apple Bloom to take a bath, but reserved no such luxury for herself. The fires of her rage were banked, but they’d left behind them a dull tingling in her body and a throbbing headache behind her eyes. The orange mare barely had the energy to gulp down some of the leftovers from her abandoned dinner—now cold—before she collapsed into bed. What a day. Tomorrow, she hoped, couldn’t fail to be better.
* * *
So tired was Applejack that she didn’t rise until at least a few minutes after the sun’s golden disc had edged above the horizon line. She groaned and pushed herself out of bed, struggling with uncooperative covers that wrapped around her like the clinging tentacles of some mythical monster. Ugh… What a night. She must have been tossing and turning the entire time.
The farmer groaned again and headed for the washroom, barely even able to force her eyes open enough to splash some water into her face properly. Instead, Applejack simply buried her muzzle in the washbasin until she felt better. All right, that was enough. In the excitement of the day before, a lot hadn’t gotten done that should have—including some shopping. So now that was on top of the day’s chores. There was no time to waste.
Water still dripping from her face, Applejack turned to go—and froze with one hoof out the door. She could have sworn she’d seen a flash of black and white, just out of the corner of her eye… No. She wasn’t going to look. If Zecora had laid some little hex on her, Twilight would deal with it. The farmer was just going to keep walking.
Ignoring the temptation to check the mirror again for any ghostly zebras behind her, Applejack grabbed her hat, planted it firmly on her head, and continued down the stairs. Apple Bloom was already waiting for her in the living room, poking at some leftover apple fritter from the night before.
“G’morning A-applejack, how are..?” Apple Bloom looked up from her breakfast and trailed off mid-greeting, looking almost like she’d seen a ghost. Her amber eyes searched Applejack’s face, probably noting all the extra creases and lines that a poor night’s sleep must have put there.
Only managing a grunt in response, Applejack waved her sister out the door. It was time to go. The farmer grabbed her saddlebags with difficulty, her eyes still blurry and sleep-crusted as she nearly stumbled off the porch.
The two sisters trotted in silence up the long road toward Ponyville. The crisp morning seemed unusually cold to Applejack for late summer, but she was glad of the bracingly cool breezes. Her head and vision were finally beginning to clear, leaving the farmer feeling a little more like herself. She glanced over at Apple Bloom, but the yellow filly was still clammed up, not saying a word.
Applejack sighed. Her little sister wasn’t holding a grudge about the previous evening, was she? Apple Bloom hadn’t even gotten a well-deserved spanking despite wandering into the Everfree Forest after some crazy zebra who could have done Celestia-knew-what before anypony could rescue her. Well, fine. If the little foal was going to be silly, let her be silly. No skin off Applejack’s muzzle.
Oppressive silence continued to weigh on Applejack as the two walked down the path. By the time Ponyville came into view, she’d decided—enough was enough. The mare stopped Apple Bloom and said, “Thanks for th’ peace and quiet, A.B…”
Suddenly Applejack found herself tripping over her own tongue. She tried to finish her sentence. All she wanted to say was, ‘but the silent treatment ain’t the way to reward yer sister fer savin’ ya,’ but somehow the words wouldn’t come. She struggled to say something. Anything! Finally some words forced themselves out, feeling strange as they rolled off her tongue. “…B-but yer silent treatment ain’t workin’ on me.”
Apple Bloom stared at her sister. Applejack worked her mouth nervously. What the hay had that been about? Finally something clicked in the farmer’s mind. ‘blah blah blah blah blah A.B… blah blah blah blah blah blah me.’ She’d been compelled to rhyme. But why?
The same thought seemed to occur to Apple Bloom as well—but for her, somehow the forced couplet made sense. Her little face broke into a cheeky grin. “Sorry, Sis… but ya told me not to speak to zebras…”
“What the hay..?” Applejack stared at her sister. What did that even mean? Apple Bloom simply pointed down with one hoof and started snickering into the other.
Applejack looked down. And saw black. And white. And black again. And white again. This had to be a dream. She groaned. “Oh, no. No way.”
Alternating black and white stripes covered Applejack’s forelegs. She looked around wildly and saw a convenient pond. In an instant she was at the edge of the water staring into its depths. A surprised-looking zebra with green eyes stared back. She had a brown felt hat perched precariously atop her head—over the top of black and white striped mane. In the back, the long strands of hair were still bound up in the farmer’s usual ponytail. In the front, a mohawk made it almost impossible that her father’s hat should stay on, let alone that it should rest at the proper angle. She looked ridiculous.
With a sinking heart, Applejack craned her neck and stared at her now black-and-white sides. Surely even a curse would at least leave her with some semblance of her identity… But a low moan escaped from the farmer’s lips as she saw how silly that hope had been.
Applejack’s familiar cutie mark was still there in part… but it had been twisted into a parody of its former self. The apples were simple, almost abstract outlines. Instead of cheery red, the shapes were white with strange black swirls. Applejack’s transformation had taken almost everything that made her, her. And the new zebra knew exactly who to blame… Nopony but Zecora could have done something like this.
“Whatcha gonna do, Sis?” Apple Bloom asked. Having had her laugh, her expression was turning to worry. She could see the strained look in her sister’s black- and white-striped face.
“Ah… Ah think Ah’ll seek help from… Twilight…Urgh…” Applejack tried to stop there. She shut her mouth and kept it clamped tight. There was a short but pregnant pause while her face started to turn red. The zebra stamped her hooves in anguish, driving them deep into the soil.
Finally when Applejack could take no more, she blurted out the rest of the rhyme in a rush. “…Ah’m confident she’ll make things right.”
“Ah’ll come with ya,” Apple Bloom announced firmly—only to find her striped sister looming over her and shaking her head.
Waving one black hoof back in the direction they had come, Applejack shook her head even harder. Finally, she gave up the effort and bowed to the inevitable. “No, Apple Bloom, back to th’ farm. Ah want to keep ya safe from harm.”
“But Ah—”
“No! No buts. Go see Big Mac…” Applejack glanced back at her alternating stripes and grimaced. “…An’ don’ say why Ah ain’t come back. Say Ah got business with a friend, an’ Ah’ll be back before day’s end.”
When Apple Bloom looked ready to protest again, Applejack gave her sister a quick swat on the flank. “Now go on! Hyah! Get on with ya!”
Working her mouth awkwardly at the annoying novelty of obsessive rhyming, Applejack watched her sister trot back down toward Sweet Apple Acres. She sighed. That zebra enchantress was going to get what was coming to her. But first… First the ex-pony had to get this… this curse, or whatever it was, lifted. Twilight Sparkle would be her best bet. Celestia’s faithful student would know what to do.
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The writing style is interesting. Other than a few misplaced dashes and colons, everything checks out. The accents could use a bit of work though. Having set rules for certain words helps, but it helps even more to sound whatever you're writing out. Accents exist to make speaking easier, so what you write should just roll off the tongue.
Applejack seems a bit out of character. Sure, she should embody the southern racist, but she just isn't that kind of character. Her harsh treatment of Applebloom and her brutal honesty aren't very endearing, either. Hopefully, the plot — which is brilliant, by the way — can explain this a bit more and redeem her.
We need a Zecora emoticon. Until then Celestia will have to do
KARMA baby. Nice use of Poison Joke in this story, I imagine Twilight will have a VERY interesting report to make to Celestia. Now I must read Chapter 2 :)
I agree to a certain extent with the above post. However, I disagree on the racist part. To begin with, the ponies don't actually hate Zecora, they actually seem to be more afraid of her supposed hexes and curses more than anything. If Applejack was racist she would just use "Zebras" instead of "Zecora" when she was talking about her. As for Applejack's treatment of Applebloom, she is just trying to be a good sister and is worried about Aplebloom's safety in the latter half of the story.
As for the writing itself, the dialogue fits well with the characters and the setting is very well written. I can;t wait to read the next chapter.
This sounds pretty damn good. Will continue reading, my good writer!
-Glassed
Applejack does seem a bit out of character, but I love the whole gag about her being literally forced to rhyme everything she says.
i would like to say ''i like this story''...
ow snap well asome job keep it up
...but i hope it turns a bit gory
i have a what twisted mind....
...its the blood shed i like to find.
but even so it makes me grin...
...and difinitely a laugh came in.
for as it is, as it is now...
...i do have to make my bow.
the story about a pony in organge...
...
Applejack's bitterness towards Twilight strikes me as something that needs resolution within the story. More as it comes to me, but this is an interesting idea.
Nice work on your story, now I just hope it doesn't get boring.
....Because, of course, it was the redneck hick pony who was the real racist in the story. Right.
I liked the apple metaphor but Applejack forgets that not all bad-looking apples are all-bad inside. Sometimes you only have to remove the ugly spots and under them there is perfect, eatable fruit. What's more, ugly-looking, awkwardly soft apples are the best for the compote... At least, that's what my grandma used to say.
I could barely read this until I got past the "bad inside, bad outside" section, which was completely and utterly wrong, and AJ should know better (although surface blemishes do mean a great deal when it comes to marketing, so "bad outside, bad for sales" is completely true).
The writing itself is excellent.
here's a thought... same thing but with Rainbow Dash please
Brilliant.
I'm glad you made me hate AJ in this story as much as I hated her in the episode this is based off of. Why am I glad? Because turning her into a zebra is far better karma than making her small. It also helps that I know she'll learn the important lesson that she ought to learn in the end.
This is truly an amazing story. How did the old expression go? You can't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes? Well I think this is exactly what applejack deserved in this episode and I personally feel like the reason the poison joke compelled her to rhyme even though zecora does it out of choice was because it transformed her based on the negative stereotype she had formed in her head. Thanks for a great story!
Applejack is really both unreasonable and seems to let her stubbornness and anger cloud her judgment. At least AB did not get spanked, because that would have made things worse.
5646986 THANK YOU
2978151 If you're a bitch, karma will bitch slap you right back.
I had to stop reading this at several points because I was too angry at Applejack's small-minded, ignorant racism to think straight -- especially the bit where she groused to herself about racist Canterlot unicorns without even realizing how hypocritical she was being. Of course, this is making the karmic transformation the poison joke foisted on her delicious to read about -- she abundantly deserves everything she's going through.
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=mlp+swamp+witch+&&view=detail&mid=EA6CFBDE76EDAC196F90EA6CFBDE76EDAC196F90&&FORM=VRDGAR
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=My+Little+Pony+Colors+of+the+Wind&&view=detail&mid=61253E782F6593D051C661253E782F6593D051C6&rvsmid=3560DA6CB26E4452A4433560DA6CB26E4452A443&FORM=VDRVRV
"And if you find that the bullock can toss you
Or the heavy browned Sambur can gore
You needn't stop work to inform us
We knew it 10 seasons before"
Rudyard Kipling The Jungle Book
These are old videos, you've probably already seen them
and they never saw her shopping because everyone would close up and hide the minute she came to town.