Her name is Lyra and this is her story, her legacy.
A unicorn who lives in the forest has been having strange dreams that lead her to bigger things ahead of her, this is a quest to save the land of Hayrule, can she do it, can she stop the evil that attempts to thwart the land? Join Lyra on her adventure with her trusty companion Sprout the fairy as they find out what is happening to the land of Hayrule and as they try to save it from destruction.
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Hell Yes!
Look at all this PORN.
Oh and nice story too.
this premise pleases me greatly, and I would very much like more.......But please tell me that you can make longer chapters. PLEASE?
1336476
I am keeping my chapter limit to approx 2000 words per chapter to not overwhelm the reader (if they aren't full on readers and also so I don't drain myself out on trying to expand the chapter too much) glad you liked it.
1336473 haha no porn here :P thanks for the comment
1336966 *sigh* oh well, cant win all the time i guess.
I'm still gonna follow this though.
looks like things (puts on glasses) are starting to heat up. YEEEAAAHHH!!!!!!!
Awesome chapter by the way
uuuuuuum, uuuuuuh, uuum, um, theres just....... so....... many....... missing punctuation marks
You should go back through the chapter and look for any place that should have a period, comma, etc.
For example.....
There needs to be a period after Sprout. This happens almost every time a character speaks in this chapter.
I noticed some other areas that need work, (pretty much EVERY area, honestly
) But I need to work on MY next chapter, so that will have to wait.
If these chapters are only gonna be 2,000 words, they better be pretty damn impressive in the future.
1349622
Ouch, you went from liking it to kinda seeming you disliked it, the first two chapters are just kinda setting up the story dude, chillax the adventuring shall come soon.
1349529
thanks man, glad you like it :)
1351340 Okay, my last comment was WAY to harsh
Its just that I recently had to give up on a story where the author "limited" himself during his writing. The result was sub-par (as you would guess) I dont want to have to give up on another promosing story because of....... well, the lack of intersting story. 
I AM the Critic after all, I have to be an ass sometimes.
1351407
Heh, I suppose so. Well aside from me forgetting to grammar check in my proof read before uploading (which I have fixed) the story itself, your critique so far?
1351433 Need sleep
But I can give you a baisic summary of what to do in the future.
Your biggest problem is that you are pushing too much story into each short chapter. The chapters can be short, but it would be better to spend less time trying to move the story forward, and more time adding subtle details to the one event in the chapter.
Second.........Later, I'll be back when i have more enerzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
1351522
It will kick off soon enough, you shall see.
another great chapter, keep it up.
THAT"S THE WAY YA DO IT!!
MUCH better pacing in this chapter. Keep it up, and don't try to put too much into one chapter, ESPECIALLY when describing castle town. I want a full paragraph explaining how big/busy/new to Lyra it is. (shouldn't be that difficult)
1384994
I shall see what I can do, just need to get the time to do it along with my several other hobbies haha.
1382537
Thank you, glad you like it.