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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I know I promised that it would be less wordy this time around, but my willpower, she is weak .
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's all good.
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But I lieeeeeeeeeeeed .
Seriously, though, this chap ended up way longer than I intended lol. The booze to coffee ratio wasn't quite what it should have been by midnight .
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Pretty much . Jeremy's a sarcastic grump, but even grumps have people that they just can't bring themselves to be too mean to. For him, Twilight fits that bill . Besides, she could just hover him in the air with telekinesis or something until he ranted himself to sleep .
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At least you can write long chapters. I can't. Take a look at my written works and you'll see what I mean.
I'm contemplating reading this.
'Recovery' stories are something I tend to enjoy.
Tell me, is this story about his recovery from being a druggie, or is it just 'go to Equestria and do drugs there'?
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It's mostly about him being an asshole and having mental breakdowns .
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Heh, in my mind it's all about writing the chapter "well" and in my opinion I tend to fall to pieces the longer the chapter drags on .
My intent was originally to keep the chapters short so I could at least post one a week... and I've kinda fallen short of that goal .
In other news, I am looking forward to introducing Shining . He gets to see who his sister has been babysitting for this indeterminate amount of time .
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Eh, no worries.
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S'alright. Sure, I'll bitch and moan a bit, but rest assured, it won't bother me for long. Once the day's done and it's time to hang up my hat(s), I'm still having fun writing about colorful horses, right? Besides, introducing Rainbow is out of the way now and that's one of the things I was concerned about the most.
Now for Twilight's job...
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Oy.
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Protip: Erik Petersen is awesome .
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Yeah, Mando is pretty high in my favorites. Mic's pretty far up there too, though I'll admit, his Tumblr shenanigans certainly don't hurt that . Last but not least, the Friendship is Witchcraft soundtrack takes up a big spot too . I almost can't forgive them for making a creepy song about incest sooooooo goddamn catchy lol.
Well, I did it again. I stumbled upon a story and sat up until sunrise, reading. Yeah, I read the other story, “A Mad Dash Through Time and Space” as well when you suggested it at the beginning of this chapter. It does kind of clear up a lot of the details in this chapter and also prevents the main character from monopolizing all the angst and feel-sorry-for-yourself moments.
Overall a pretty good read and I could be wrong but I think Gilda might have taken a shine to Jeremy. Rainbow Dash squeeling 'cocaine?!' was just adorable.
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Jeremy gets all the ladies .
AWesome! More Twilight with Jeremy scenes please? wooooooooooooo
I believe the reason that the chapter felt so "off", was the fact that Rainbow Dash's personality is WAY too much like Jeremy's personality. When two characters are exactly the same, there's no conflict, and conflict is what drives a story forward. You literally had them finish each other's sentences about 5 times during the story, when they just met. This isn't something that will be able to fixed easily, sadly.
The problem is that you viewed Rainbow Dash as the main character in the other story you created her in. No matter how much an author tries, their personality will bleed through into the main character, at least a little. Experienced authors are better at making it bleed through a lot less, but it takes a lot of work and persistent reminders (which usually come in the form of an editor).
The only way I can see to fix this, for you, is to think of Rainbow Dash as not the main character. She is a separate character that should only be introduced, at any given time, to move the plot forward. Making this story a slight crossover with your other story was a terrible idea, because you don't know which universe to focus on. And even then, a lot of people who have read this, havn't read the other story. They do not understand what is happening and lose interest. Shamelessly promoting your other story is not going to get you views, it will just make people annoyed.
Sorry for the long rant. It just really bugged me seeing this story go to shit, when it could be so easily avoided. I edit a lot on fimfiction, so I feel the need to point out peoples mistakes in their stories...
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No worries, yo, the rant hit all the right points. All of 'em.
Rainbow was indeed the main character in A Mad Dash and... I dunno, of course I used her to express my own thoughts in that story . The whole time I spent writing this chapter, a miniature Joseph in my head kept screaming at me to create a discernible difference between her and Jer, but it just sort of ended up that way regardless . I plan on giving her an array of traits all her own in future chapters, but in the end, the only way to fix this chapter would but a full-out rewrite.
Joey's pretty pissed at himself right now .
P.S. - Thanks for the input! Like I said, you hit the nail on the head right there in the first sentence .
Yay update!
If I got stuck in Equestria with access to the Internet I would so not let them use it especially to look for mlp stuff and keep them away from YouTube!
Great chapter.