- Member Since 9th Sep, 2021
- offline last seen 6 hours ago
Death_wing
I have no idea how to use this site most of the time so its miracle I even made a bio let alone stories
Death_wing
Joined 9th Sep, 2021 ·
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This looks interesting
11451602
I plan to keep it that way so stay tuned!
Also if anyone is interested in helping me with the dialogue of this story that will be extremely helpful because for the past three stories I have made I can't seem to land characters talking to one another
Honestly love this concept. I can't wait to see more. God knows we need some fresh story's to read.
11451660
I will do my best! currently going threw it and trying to smooth out any areas that seem rough or out of place!
I like it so far.👍
11451674
I appreciate the positive comment! but there is still plenty of work to be done on my end 😅
Great concept, I'm excited to see where you take this, though several things popping out are making me worried.
Allow me to give you these critiques, and maybe offer some of my own help later:
Grammar and spelling are the bane of us all, to be forced to adhere to their rules is difficult, but worth it. I personally tend to turn away at less than average work, and I'm certainly not an outlier either.
Structure is another important piece of writing, it keeps the flow going and allows readers to accurately understand what is going on. Without it, things may get mixed together and confusing, such as dialogue, which I am interesting in helping with.
Finally, I see a bit of an issue with the plot. It appears that you're setting your story in an Equestria with humans, specifically subjugated humans with little to no rights or intelligence. Ponies take up the role as owners and oppressors, and the Alt. Universe tag reflects that, but it also appears that you are trying to follow the original show, which seems difficult to achieve with your already canon-breaking description.
Still, congratulations on getting into the featured section, but I fear that a lot of traffic may be stopped at the start. Passion is a wonderful thing, and I can tell you are passionate about this story, but you may not find the results you are looking for without tempering it.
I am always open to assist.
2 meters is 6’6, not 14 feet
11451688
I'm willing to take you up on that offer 😅 I know when to accept a helping hand when I need it just private message me and we will talk more their!
11451697
A simple mistake sorry ill fix that in a moment
I haven’t seen one of these in a long time
greetings! and welcome! I am happy to see fresh blood in terms of story and want to say this. ignore hate but do remember to double check your work spelling when it's time to release, also remember ignoring the thumbs down. no one is going to like everything or the same thing but that's fine. so, chin up and let the story flow the way it was meant to from the start!
11452026
I'm bringing sexy back 😂😂 (jk)
I know I remember when the first ever story came out and I'm kinda offended that no one else as seen the potential of this! So I decided to step up to the plate hopefully inspiring others to bring back this awesome story!
11452229
Thank you for the helpful words of wisdom! But I hope I can fix those issues that have been listed before with other people's help I think me and the select few others I have as editors now we can make this a lot better then first seen!
This is rather promising shaping up to be a rather good story, nice job so far.
11452281
I hope so I and my editor are fixing up chapter one then chapter two will be in the works afterward
This has a lot of promise, I would say. Most “your human and you” stories don’t tend to last long however, but I’ll keep my eyes on this one. Always been a fan of Giant in Equestria stories.
11452522
I'm glad to have caught your attention please have a seat and get a nice cold or hot drink maybe some snacks for a nice read!
Been thinking for years on giants and ogres in equestria and how to relate them. glad I didn't have to do the work and can read someone elses work on it!
11452684
I got you fam as long as your meeting me half way I'll keep it coming!
So good to see intresting ideas surfacing out of the deeps. Some people might dislike your story, but as long as your goal is to write an interesting story and not care about haters - you will succeed. You doing good, lad.
Hope for more this was interesting
great start I look forward to more
11452818
haha good to see you! also how are you?
11453114
Finished first chapter of my new story and will start tomorrow on the last of my ideas. Then it will be only updates.
Believe it or not - I'm very tired both mentally and physically.
11453118
may I suggest some soothing pure peppermint tea with a side of a hearty meal? less thinking and more relaxation should help the mental exhaustion .
*raises hand*
i have some complaints about the logic of a few things, but for now i'm just gunna ask how he knows who nightmare moon is but doesnt know anything else in the setting, including ponyville and twilight?
11453215
Nightmare Moon more or less shouts her name at him in the next chapter I have to make that still remember?
As for Twilight, he doesn't know of her yet only her voice and what she looks along with her friends he also didn't know Ponyville was there he discovered it now only because it's in the way of the everfree forest.
But if your wondering why he confused a bat pony with Princess Luna was because of mid stages of starvation
I'm personally on my third Re-Read of this chapter. I love it.
11453291
I'm glad it can be given a second and even a third! Read threw! I think all stories should have that hook of keeping people on the edge of their seats for the next chapter!
I think if all books had that people would be more like Twilight in a sense
Oh dang, been a hot minute since i last saw any yhay
11453402
I'm the old Guard of fanfiction I want to try and revive it if not I'm going to fall gloriously
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/791/790/48d.png
11453501
😅That's enough😅
I see someones hooked to the story! But patience is key these take time to write and edit.
Well I'm sold, liked and followed my good sir looking forward to more
11453536
Hope to see you on the next chapter
11453538
You most definitely will I really enjoyed what you wrote so far!
11453539
I can't take all the credit my editor is earning his or her keep!
Fantastic start
It definitely deserves its place as featured. Well done so far.
Monk
“Come into my parlor, Ted. I have cookies!” -Reykan
11452236
Good. Cause I’m running out of things to read. Another good one is the conversion berou
11454000
I'll see what I can do but no promises 😅
media.tenor.com/HUQfYEBBclEAAAAd/you-had-my-curiosity-you-had-my-attention.gif
Ok. This is very interesting. It's been a while since I read a YhaY story. I'll cheer for this story to grow. It certainly has my attention. It's hard to find one of these where the human is inteligent and can comunicate if he wants to.
11454473
Thank you for giving my story your attention! Much appreciated! Sorry for the late response 😅 been busy with life so I do hope this story gives people the chance to disconnect from reality and just enjoy reading or listening to my story.
This is interesting. Heven't seen this consept before and i like it a lot. Keep on writing my dude, i hope to see more.
11456103
Hope to see you on next chapter my dude
11456105
You wil. I'll keep my eye on this story.
Zebra
Zecora
This sentence doesn’t make sense. Why would a gentle creature have more scars, shouldn’t it be less?
the
Might have missed something, but other than that, good chapter!
Really liking the world building.