The Ballad of the White Mare

CharonX #1 · Oct 22nd, 2022 · 2 · 1 ·

Nicely written, but I sadly can't quite follow the story here:
Rarity and Applejack (maybe?) murdered Blueblood (who Rarity had been dating)? Because the farm had burnt down and he couldn't/didn't want to spend more bits to help? Or possibly Rarity and Applejack or Applejack and Blueblood also have had an affair? And Appeljack fled (and/or died), implicating Rarity, who went insane, to trial for the murder and then just was sent home (because she's insane or something?), but now kept futilely washing some dress to get "a spot" (representing her guilt?) out?

Knowing me I'm probably just too thick to grasp the story.

GusThePolarBear

GusThePolarBear #2 · Oct 22nd, 2022 · 3 · ·

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Fascinating and creative portrait of guilt and grief. Love the way details are slowly trickled out, while some aren't given at all. Really really excellent work with this one.

Reviewfilly

Reviewfilly #3 · Oct 22nd, 2022 · · ·

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11401361
Thank you very much! Though I cannot claim full credit, since I was inspired by a frankly incredible poem (really, its author could do no wrong,) but I am pretty pleased with how the fic turned out.

11401281
Forgive me, but I don't entirely understand the issue. You seem to have largely grasped the situation. Is there any part in particular that didn't click?

CharonX

CharonX #4 · Oct 22nd, 2022 · 2 · 1 ·

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11401387
Ah, never mind then.

I was just feeling rather uncertain about the things I inferred (thats why I included the questionmarks), especially since there were a number of hints in the story I was uncertain on how to interpret, or how they fit in the conclusion I tried to draw, if they fit at all. It felt to me that I was missing some crucial pieces of information in my guesses to fit it all... like a puzzle half-finished, you squint a bit to start a rough guess what it is meant to look like, but you know you still have all those pieces left over that you don't have any idea where to put, and which give you the nagging feeling that your guess might be - if not wrong - at least very incomplete.

For example:
What is the importance of the orange and white hairs, the note speaking of unbridled love (I assume the glass shard is the murder weapon)? Do they really merely imply that both lured Blueblood to kill him, or that either Applejack had an affair with Rarity or Blueblood?
Why did Rarity feel so guilty that she lost her mind - if the murder was planned as seemed to be implied (rather than being a crime of passion, which would have explained a "oh-Celestia-what-have-I-done" reaction) then it seems unlikely that she would be so massively overwhelmed by guilt to drive her insane.
Why did the judges simply let her go - she is not of sound mind, certainly, but she did commit murder... letting a crazy pony that had committed murder go free seems... unwise.
And why did Rarity kill Blueblood - while needing money to restore a burnt down Sweet Apple Acres may introduce desperation, it seems rather far out of character to kill the stallion she was dating to obtain his alleged wealth (there are hints that he already had given much to charity at her behest)

But I now realize this is part of intentional style of the story (once again, well written), so all is good.

Reviewfilly

Reviewfilly #5 · Oct 22nd, 2022 · 2 · 1 ·

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11401424

What is the importance of the orange and white hairs, the note speaking of unbridled love

The former foreshadows that it's AJ who's the accomplice if it wasn't obvious from the intro section. The latter is a note sent to Blueblood, if you check the intro he says "unforgettable night" in apostrophes as if he was quoting, which is also on the note. Rara basically used this to lure him away.

Applejack had an affair with Rarity or Blueblood?

That is a fun interpretation and due to death of the author, you're more than welcome to think so, but it's entirely unintentional.

Why did Rarity feel so guilty that she lost her mind

In my mind the intent was that there is a massive difference in mental toll between plotting to kill someone and actually doing the deed. The way Rarity tries to change BB's mind to the last moment was meant to show she really is doing it out of desperation (after all the Acres are a fairly vital part of Ponyville) rather because of le murder is good. Though the killing itself cracked her for sure, the full breaking of Rarity's sanity happened during the trial when she was faced with the fact that the person she got guilty for is dead and her own life is practically over one way or another.

letting a crazy pony that had committed murder go free seems... unwise.

This one I concede is fully an artifact of the original work I was inspired by. Basically they saw that she was already a prisoner of her mind and keeping her locked up would ultimately just cause her unjust suffering, as she was already being punished by her own psyche. It is a fully emotion-oriented thing and if you question it logically, I can't exactly blame you.

there are hints that he already had given much to charity at her behest

That you either misunderstood or I phrased wrongly. The point was that BB has more than enough wealth to help out SAA without even feeling it, but he looked down on the commoners so much that he was simply unwilling to do so, even for the sake of his love. Whether his death ultimately came from AJ overreacting while she tried to intimidate into helping or a premediated plan to allow Rarity to inherit his wealth is honestly up to anyone's interpretation.

Frankly I don't really like to dissect stories this hard, because I feel like it takes away from their magic, but I hope it might justify at least some of the points you raise. But even if not, thank you for the comments. It's always so nice to see as an author when someone engages with their story to such an extent.

CharonX

CharonX #6 · Oct 22nd, 2022 · 1 · 1 ·

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11401591

That you either misunderstood or I phrased wrongly. The point was that BB has more than enough wealth to help out SAA without even feeling it, but he looked down on the commoners so much that he was simply unwilling to even, even for the sake of his love.

A misunderstanding purely on my part - I had given his claims to have drained his coffers (though I noted the word wasted that almost escaped him as odd) too much weight and the fact that people changed their opinions about him following his death (which I interpreted as a belated reaction to his presumed charity work, rather than the normal "let's not speak ill of the dead" behavior) lead me to assume that he was giving (per Rarity's wishes) but now was indeed starting to run low, at least in easily replaceable/disposable funds - i.e. taking from savings accounts vs. selling off profitable long-term investments (which added to the confusion for me regarding the motive of the murder - "He is generous, but not generous enough?")

Thank you for taking the time & effort to write & publish this story for our all enjoyment, and also for responding to (and making things much clearer for) this (admittingly occasionally somewhat dense ) reader.

And yeah, I think I'll have Rarijack now as my headcanon here, it gives her all the more reasons for what she did and to why she cracked.

Iron Comet

Iron Comet #7 · Oct 23rd, 2022 · · ·

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Wow, took a bit to figure out what happened and like Lady MacBeth, Raritys guilt has driven her to try to wash the bloodstains from her hooves, er I mean dress. The real question was how the murder came about. Did Blueblood attempt to take advantage? Abd it was self defense? Was it premeditated murder? An accident that caused the insanity?

shinybob606