🇭🇺 | "I will never trust a single word this femboy says ever again." - /mlp/ | Like what I do? Ko-Fi,
After Equestria faced a crippling tragedy, the dozens of petty lords, who until then all counted their remaining days, suddenly set their sights with renewed malice on how they could get rid of the one remaining pony who threatened their rule.
Some didn't shy away from even the most despicable of methods, changing a colt's life forever.
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What a beautiful little one shot. Hope the colt and his sister are well.
I liked where it was going but the ending felt... well disappointing. You contextualized the whole conversation as a pony that was desperate enough to go to the extremes. A good idea but by making the ending as another, you make it that never-ending nightmare of another colt or filly going through the same desperation. A never-ending nightmare that plagues the land. It makes the ending not cheeky or funny but sad, it also doesn't make much sense to have a child soldier when the last one failed along with how they went past the alarms and whatnot.
11432695
Thank you!
The last section speaks of both of their fates.
11432752
That wasn't really the intent of the story. The point here is that until Sunhorse can unify all the pony lands — and achieve the Equestria we all know and love — there will always be desperate souls and those who would use them to do their dirty work. It'd be extremely easy for Celestia to prevent those who seek her out to murder her from reaching her (she could lock her window for one,) but instead she chooses to allow them to come close so that she can attempt to save them. That's what the very last sentence is supposed to imply along with the fact that Wind's sister is now the Princess's bodyguard.
The serious answer I can give is suspension of disbelief, the cheeky is that because Cellie lets them.
Makes me wonder where Luna is in all this? Or if this is post Nightmare Moon.
And ponies forget just exactly why Celestia still lives I see. One puny mortal is hardly a thing. Even an army.
11432762
Is the sister the new guard? What of the brother?
If your economic margins are that precarious, perhaps you really shouldn't be embarking on yon course of soft imperialism.
Try investing in agriculture, I hear ponies are fairly decent at that, with pegasus weather-control you could grow out-of-climate spices.
There's also the hypothetical, what would she do if it turned out he really did just want the money, or his Talent was actually just silent-killing. Be a bit of a waste of a nice speech.
11432807
The description gives it away already, but there are multiple nods in the story about Luna already being punted to the Moon.
11432810
Consider what Celestia says to him before the scene change and what she says after.
11432825
The scene was meant to be somewhat metaphorical. A bit of a "Teach a man to fish" kind of deal. Of course it's entirely unbelievable that a monarch wouldn't have the necessary funds to heal one random commoner, but that wasn't really the point of the whole thing.
Well, she did scare the colt pretty hard, so it'd be very unlikely for him to have made up a sob story about an actually non-existent sister. And he'd be kinda crummy at his talent since Cellie was able to spot him without as much as turning around. Not to mention once his initial plan goes awry, he is completely nonplussed. Sunhorse had zero reason to believe that he was a "born killer."
I think I remember seeing this somewhere, either as a (far shorter) story, or a paragraph idea?
Otherwise, great writing!
what a great story xD
and nicely done Celestia xD
lovely story, and a nice little bit of lore for the time between luna's fall and the modern day...after all 1000 years and the forming of a nation do not pass without issue, and showing a calculating Celestia who turns problems into opportunities like this...very nice i even like to think this paid dividends later, maybe that pegasus she saved was an ancestor of rainbow dash, or flutershy? perhaps both, the assassin was the ancestor of loyalty and the ailing sister the ancestor of kindness.
Great
11432810
The night in the end is described as cloudless and he is a cloud wrangler.
I enjoyed it. It was well written and characterized. But I didn't particularly like the ending all that much. It felt off and detached from the rest of the story and extremely jarring. One moment we're with Wind Sower, presumably about to see him lead out of the Palace. The next we're suddenly back at the beginning again, with a new character in the same position with no closure or reminiscing on Wind. Honestly I think it would have been better to have Celestia's point of view while being told off by a guard for letting an obvious assassin go, or her explaining her reasoning to the guard Captain for the whole event as they watch Wind fly away into the night.
The last scene just feels like an unnecessary repeat of the story for little gain. Having Celestia told off for letting Wind slip in her room like the other ones would have made a neater, stronger message towards ponies being used. Implying it rather then showing it in the exact same way again.
It was still an enjoyable read though, despite the somewhat jarring end.
I would like to think that the dark gray mare was Wind Sower's sister.
This could be a great story instead of just 1 chapter
But I do like the story
Some see the events repeating themselves as depressing. I see a task great enough to be worthy of an alicorn. If it takes centuries to bring prosperity to her continent, well centuries she has. Mortal's can and should attempt such great things, but, as Ecclesiastes 2 (esp. verse 19) says, it is impossible to know with certainty if the next generation wi!l continue the good work one began.
She cares for a whole country (at the least) and my fanon has her as an angel who God granted the privilege to live among mortals until.and unless she is slain. Further-more, that when she has assured herself of the need with many doubles checks and prayers that she will have Equestria take up the sword against every tyrant she can discover. If they turn not from their path, they shall suffer greatly, not out of vengence (even on behalf of another), for that is reserved for her Lord, but to deter others who would take up the same injustices, swapping only the face that selfishness wears. And unlike many mortal-lead nations her hoof will not withdraw until the changes she has made will last at least a full generation... and only so brief if the next generation are very great fools indeed.
I imagine Wind Sower is a lot more popular than his sister, Whirlwind Reaper.
... I was joking.
Still, lovely snippet of a time of tumult. Celestia's doing her best to bring it to a close as quickly as possible, but that means stepping on some carefully polished hooves. At least she knows how to handle the responses.
11432825 She likely has a few tens of thousands of coins. But rules over millions of ponies. Tell me, how has our welfare system done with eliminating all poverty? How many trillions have been dumped into Africa, most of which was stolen by the corrupt leaders and warlords? Need I even mention China, seeing as how the beaten-down people seem to have finally snapped at the latest round of people being welded into their apartment buildings and left to die for the insane 'zero Beerbug' policy?
I find it amusing how many eagerly find fault with Celestia's little fairy tale land, while ignoring the glaring failures of humanity, which are too innumerable to count.
As for Celestia's ploy with the window, she could tell what sort of 'killer' he was at a glance, remember? She said as much. Had he been a SERIOUS killer... well, then she would have treated him SERIOUSLY... and he'd be a soot smear.
Unless we're talking Season 3 and onward show-canon Celestia. Then she'd get slaughtered by a pony wielding a marshmallow.
This Celestia, however, strikes me as one who's allowed to possess intelligence, patience, and grace.
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Me, I'd have offered a nice nest-egg for his sister in exchange for the name of the one fool enough to try assassinating an immortal, and insulting enough to send a child.
Mayhaps a nice home visit is in order, if they're not fond of polite measures then we can progress to the impolite ones.
I like this. Very much, in fact.
Both the portrayal of Equestria's equivalent of 'dark ages' and Celestia's characterization as a benevolent ruler going through harsh times were very well-written and believable, plus I found the ending satisfying.
Great work!
Hey you got featured in the "popular now" listing, congratulations!
11432752
I think you might have missed the point. I'd say more, but the author explained it well enough already.
11432762
I reread it and I still loved it, and I can imagine that the ending did imply their fate (like you said here), but somehow I felt that there could have been more setups before, so that the implication in the ending could be smoother. I get that Wind Sower is a weatherpony now and the clear sky implied that he came here again to strengthen the weather management forces, but his sister, not so much. Perhaps when Wind Sower talk about his situation, he could mention that her sister had a dream to be "the best guard of the lord" even though she is sick? I don't know, but I felt that this could make her appearance in the end more natural.
What do you think?
Still a great story and I really felt the emotions from both Celestia and Wind Sower in it! Thank you for this!