The last surivor of a Brotherhood long gone and long sense forgotten in a strange new world how will the last Watcher on the walls handle himself? Will he return the Night's watch to its former Glory? Or let it fall into Dust.
I literally triple-checked this before publishing it so I hope this works for everyone here. And before I post this I want you guys and girls to know.
It's still extremely rough around the edges, the tenses shift at odd times, some sentences are broke too early while others break too late, and you forgot to capitalize Spike's name.
Grammarly will help with the grammar issues I saw, but you need to work on keeping the tenses straight, capitalizing names, and you should also try to avoid making redundant remarks.
I feel like finding a different editor, if for no other reason than having an extra pair of eyes to look over your work, would probably help you out a lot. Especially since you have a few places where word processors probably aren't going to help.
Ex:
"I know Brother Matt, I'm just horsing around. I only joke about it is. Because you're the only ranger whoever comes into this library."
the first sentence is fine, you only need one of the next two sentences, and if you're going to say "I only joke about it..." I would suggest cutting out the "is" and the period so that you can just use the "because" as a contraction.
tldr: try to find an editor, and failing that, run your drafts through the Grammarly word processor. sorry for the essay! Just want to give some advice. Good luck.
It's just me still if you're willing you can take that role if you are interested I also fixed spikes name hope that helps at least slightly and
no, it doesn't because I'm using Grammarly 💀💀💀 and it's terrible every time I tried to do something the app would try and place a random word or remove one. From a sentence and then it wouldn't make any sense
Then that story would be completely worse than it is now
"Gods damn it. T-this is it." Matthew thought as he heard the movements of more wights on their way. They heard the call for help and were coming to fight. Coming towards him. Matthew knew deep down he couldn't last forever. They were an enemy that never tired while he was already getting worn out. "This is how my watch will E-end." All seemed lost; there were too many of them, and no help was coming.
Blackness covered his vision as his mind faded into the void..
I suggest either fixing this or your intro on the book chapter select because the intro for the book says this, Matthew thought that tonight was the night his watch would end. Until a strange green and blue-like bolt slammed into his chest sending him falling off the wall and into the courtyard of castle black.
Who is the guy in the cover art, and where is he from?
11408516
I have no idea if, I'm being honest I just looked up Night's watch and there it was
It's still extremely rough around the edges, the tenses shift at odd times, some sentences are broke too early while others break too late, and you forgot to capitalize Spike's name.
Grammarly will help with the grammar issues I saw, but you need to work on keeping the tenses straight, capitalizing names, and you should also try to avoid making redundant remarks.
I feel like finding a different editor, if for no other reason than having an extra pair of eyes to look over your work, would probably help you out a lot. Especially since you have a few places where word processors probably aren't going to help.
Ex:
the first sentence is fine, you only need one of the next two sentences, and if you're going to say "I only joke about it..." I would suggest cutting out the "is" and the period so that you can just use the "because" as a contraction.
tldr: try to find an editor, and failing that, run your drafts through the Grammarly word processor.
sorry for the essay! Just want to give some advice. Good luck.
11408678
There is still no editor.
It's just me still if you're willing you can take that role if you are interested I also fixed spikes name hope that helps at least slightly and
no, it doesn't because I'm using Grammarly 💀💀💀 and it's terrible every time I tried to do something the app would try and place a random word or remove one. From a sentence and then it wouldn't make any sense
Then that story would be completely worse than it is now
I suggest either fixing this or your intro on the book chapter select because the intro for the book says this, Matthew thought that tonight was the night his watch would end. Until a strange green and blue-like bolt slammed into his chest sending him falling off the wall and into the courtyard of castle black.
11421391
I think that should do it