• Member Since 19th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 16th, 2018

Hyperactive


Hello! I'm Hyperactive! I love doing general fan-fics. c:

E

A few people know Gilda the Griffon. Rude, can't take a joke. But when Gilda returns to Ponyville after being chased out of her previous home, she learns that she has nowhere to go. Nervous and alone, she runs off to Everfree forest. Will Sweetie Belle, doing a hunt for materials, take Gilda with her, to her secret home, or leave her there?

Please try to be gentle with your reviews, as this is my first fan-fic I've ever posted.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 3 )

A few things:

New paragraph, new speaker.

Your pacing was quite fast.

A filly young enough to still have a blank-flank, living on her own? Seems not-so-legit.

Fluttershy is OOC. She would be terrified of Gilda, not brash enough to snap at her like that. Gilda is also kinda OOC, but I'll chalk that up to losing everything she loves.

It seemed really fast. Sorta like the HISHE video of spiderman 3.

Well... I don't really now where to put her, since she doesn't live with Rarity.
And I don't think :flutterrage: was in a happy mood, especially knowing how Gilda treated Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash.

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