Lamford "Lammy" T. McRibwish Esq. (Location: South-Central Sweatertown)
When Twilight finds herself suddenly losing control over her magic, our six equine heroes find themselves heading back to the site where they became the Elements of Harmony to confront an ancient foe of all of Equestria.
[Writing Log Thingamajig]
Great start. I can't wait to see where this goes.
Wow... I have no idea what's going to happen here, but I get the impression that it's going to be awesome.
I guess if you're going to start a new story, start with a bang.
When a fic manages to actually capture my attention for more than ten seconds, you've done something right.
That and I feel indebted to you for providing feedback on my fic
Dam, that's a nice intro.
This is a prologue?!
I was most definitely intimidated by the length. Sorry to burst your bubble, if I did...
I am quite seriously mad that you almost jumped on the "Abuse/Kill Rainbow Dash" Bandwagon there, but thankfully I spotted something that convinced me you had done otherwise. At least, I hope that is what I saw, and that is not you trying to cover your tracks.
Otherwise, very good read. Nice bit there with Nightmare Moon in the previous chapter, but curious how she was affecting Twilight. Keep it up. But remember, I'm watching you...
Wow. You sure you don't wanna add a tragedy/dark tag as well? *Cause this was rather sad. I'm not complaining. Being able to make me feel sad in the first place shows good writing, keep up the good work.
Only great work like this can move me to tears. Great job but I still cant believe you killed Rainbow -wipes eyes with a soft snuffle-
I would like to see more if you will write more <3
Very good stuff so far. There have been a number of 'spell check was dumb' errors throughout the story so far, but only once did i have to scratch my head in confusion in order to figure out what it should have said. A fantastic read up to this point, but I'm a bit bummed out that all this has happened so quickly. It was a neat story about someone trying to do something negative with twilight's magic, and completely lost focus because you decided to kill rainbowdash. That part wasn't particularly clear to me at the time anyhow. Maybe it's just because i'm very tired, but all i really REMEMBER was
and how it flushed out all of her thoughts. and then a blue lump
and then suddenly rainbow dash was dead. :\
I'm all for THAT kind of fic? It just seemed to come out of nowhere, and ate this ENTIRE chapter. AND the bit with scoots, 'you're like the sister she never had'
Did she make that up to make scootaloo feel better? Did she and rainbow talk about scootaloo at some point? Those would be good things to bring up, instead of just having flutts come out and claim it with no backing.
i suppose i'm the most upset, that there isn't another chapter for me to keep reading. I'll be here to read it, and force my streamers to as well, if there's more.
Thanks for the read!
Why didn't they use the Elements of Harmony?
Wow... ok... now I'm thoroughly confused.
Wow. It makes sense that Pinkie would be aware of the dream decaying, but I wasn't expecting Twilight to pick up on it. Impressive. I do wonder about that stallion. Who is he? What is he? Most intriguing...
In any case, this has been a most engrossing read so far, and I eagerly look forward to the conclusion.
This is a very, very interesting story! I'm really looking foreward to the next chapter
Confused would be the honest answer, but with a fairly good idea what things represent. I'll be glad to see myself being (more than likely) proven wrong anyways. Can't wait for more.
I just died a bit on the inside...
I do hope you update soon. and PLEASE give it a happy ending... Very good story.
Oh and I think I sorta understand the story... maybe... eh... *sigh* nvm... I just don't see how the plot relates to Limbo. I've played through the game in its entirety (UGH I hate that game...) and I cant seem to make the connection between the two.
been looking forward to this chapter for a while
GAH YOU! what took so long with the update?
Marvelous thus far. Can't wait for the conclusion! =D This deserves many, many times more views than it currently has.
this is going to be awesome
Allow me to provide some editing assistance, it's the least I can do since you were nice enough to help me embrace this story, which I do not regret.
""You couldn't have known before you did, but... just look at here."""
---"here" should be "her"
"""Y'know... before all this... I wasn't all the happy."""
---"the should be "that".
""as they took their place in the queue for the fifth of sixth time.""
---"of" should be "or"
"" “Errgh...” Rainbow groaned as she pressed int the monstrous statue,""
---"int" should be "against"
^That seems to be it.
Anyway thanks again for finally updating this story. It's one of the more interesting concepts I have read even though I got the gist of what was happening early on. I'm glad you seem to understand that most readers would and are therefor making the stuff we overhear from the real world more elaborate.
Actually the only thing I currently still don't get and look forward to the reveal of is if the entire thing started when Fluttershy touched Twilight in the opening (seems legit due to the unrealistically rapidly healing injuries) or after the Snake thing (if all that was real and not merely the being's initial attempts to screw with Fluttershy).
I don't understand how this can have so few ratings/views when you got it featured on freaking Equestria Daily! This confuzzles me.
I have to say, this is one of my favorite fics so far, and it's disappointing it hasn't gotten the recognition it deserves. Often I find a plot I don't like with good writing, or a good plot that is poorly executed. This is neither. I look forward to when you get time to complete this excellent piece of work!
Well I was about to go to sleep...
F*** that apparently.
With all the fics that updated after super long breaks in the last couple days I'm running out of gifs to express my joygasms...
Oh and thanks for that Mother Russia link. That was epic.
OH MY GOSH!
When I saw this updated I just was like:-->
Anyway: Now after I read it I just can say:
This was epic as ever!
I am really looking forward for where this is going now!
And don´t apology for taking so long! You know the proverb:
Haste makes waste...
The pony version is haste makes paste...
You are an evil, evil tease, you know that?
Looking forward to more.
trippy, but in a good way.
Color me curious~ I'll try and start reading this later today.
I love your style here. You notice all the little details and don't let any drop. I saw how RD stole AJ's photograph back, for instance. A seemingly insignificant thing to the narrative that, when included, really ups the realism of the scene. Kudos to you. *showers Hyperbole with Kudos bars*
Now. I'm more interested than ever as to exactly what they are trying to do in the real world to save her. They can't use the full power of the Elements with Shy in her state ...
I'm very confused. I can't tell who the characters are in the flashbacks, or if they're just Fluttershy's fever-dreams. I guess I'll have to keep reading.
To paraphrase a great man, Just because it's all in your head doesn't make it any less real.
I can tell the stakes are high here, but don't know exactly what the stakes are. Regardless, I await the conclusion of this epic struggle.
Okay. This is epic.
But, I'm confused.
Well, I guess that's why it's called Perturbation.
But, will somepony please paraphrase what has happened so far in this fanfic?
It would be greatly appreciated.
Sure. I'll PM you to avoid posting spoilers.
Again, you are the worst sort of tease. I loathe you for it and I love you for it. Please don't take too long.
im on chapter 7 right now (i havent read it yet), and i have to ask, is the theme of the story gonna continue like this (as it has been since chapter 5; as in very sad and depressed shy) or is it gonna go back to how it was earlier?
I just found this story and it is excellent. I love how the story is taking place in her head. I couldn't stop reading and can't wait for more.
>>30723072 IF this is the prologue... I fear the actual story.
Okay... so this is dark even for me. Granted I do horrible things to my protagonists... but I don't think I ever just killed them. I make them earn their happy endings. Not that that's something to be proud of, considering that sometimes the suffering isn't worth the ending... but still.
And now the Elements are broken like glass... and I think I joined them.
I am starting to get lost... so many flashbacks and flashforewards that I can't tell which is current setting anymore.
So... Rainbow Dash is a foundation stone of reality itself because of her status as an element of harmony bearer, and her death is unravelling everything? So... strange...
>>9210392103 Wait... this story is actually making sense? OR are you just correcting it?
I have a vague grasp of the situation as it is portrayed right now. That's it.
I do believe I begin to understand. I don't know if RD is really dead in this story's real world... but I do know what's going on. The funny thing...? I just had to look up the meaning of the name of this story, and it all made sense.
I don't know if the snakemonster is NMM or simply something of Twilight's... if that's even possible that is, but I do know at least in part what it wants. I will say nothing so as to avoid spoiling the story.
>>548149548149 yia i do basically have the story broken down now just like you its pretty simple tho easy to get lost if you dont think about it tho i thought thered be more twi oh well flutters is good aswell and nmm i feel sorry for you somewhat not really having any friends.
THIS STORY IS EVIIIIIIIIIIL!
The thumbnail reminds me of Limbo.... O_o
The background and noir scenery did it in for me...
Tentative reading will be taking place
Definitely worth the wait. I've been enjoying this story since the beginning and can't wait for the second arc.
Woah. The EoK sacrificed itself to save 'Shy? That... might prove problematic. Especially if the nightmare was just stripped from Shy, not destroyed.