Great start. I can't wait to see where this goes.

Wow... I have no idea what's going to happen here, but I get the impression that it's going to be awesome.

I guess if you're going to start a new story, start with a bang.

When a fic manages to actually capture my attention for more than ten seconds, you've done something right.

That and I feel indebted to you for providing feedback on my fic

Dam, that's a nice intro.

This is a prologue?!

I was most definitely intimidated by the length.  Sorry to burst your bubble, if I did...

I am quite seriously mad that you almost jumped on the "Abuse/Kill Rainbow Dash" Bandwagon there, but thankfully I spotted something that convinced me you had done otherwise. At least, I hope that is what I saw, and that is not you trying to cover your tracks.

Otherwise, very good read. Nice bit there with Nightmare Moon in the previous chapter, but curious how she was affecting Twilight. Keep it up. But remember, I'm watching you...

Wow. You sure you don't wanna add a tragedy/dark tag as well? *Cause this was rather sad. I'm not complaining. Being able to make me feel sad in the first place shows good writing, keep up the good work.

Only great work like this can move me to tears. Great job but I still cant believe you killed Rainbow -wipes eyes with a soft snuffle-

I would like to see more if you will write more <3

Very good stuff so far. There have been a number of 'spell check was dumb' errors throughout the story so far, but only once did i have to scratch my head in confusion in order to figure out what it should have said.  A fantastic read up to this point, but I'm a bit bummed out that all this has happened so quickly.  It was a neat story about someone trying to do something negative with twilight's magic, and completely lost focus because you decided to kill rainbowdash.  That part wasn't particularly clear to me at the time anyhow. Maybe it's just because i'm very tired, but all i really REMEMBER was

'the Pain'

and how it flushed out all of her thoughts. and then a blue lump

and then suddenly rainbow dash was dead. :\

I'm all for THAT kind of fic? It just seemed to come out of nowhere, and ate this ENTIRE chapter.  AND the bit with scoots, 'you're like the sister she never had'

Did she make that up to make scootaloo feel better? Did she and rainbow talk about scootaloo at some point? Those would be good things to bring up, instead of just having flutts come out and claim it with no backing.

BUT

i suppose i'm the most upset, that there isn't another chapter for me to keep reading. I'll be here to read it, and force my streamers to as well, if there's more.

Thanks for the read!

Why didn't they use the Elements of Harmony?

Wow... ok... now I'm thoroughly confused.

Wow. It makes sense that Pinkie would be aware of the dream decaying, but I wasn't expecting Twilight to pick up on it. Impressive. I do wonder about that stallion. Who is he? What is he? Most intriguing...

In any case, this has been a most engrossing read so far, and I eagerly look forward to the conclusion.

This is a very, very interesting story! I'm really looking foreward to the next chapter

Confused would be the honest answer, but with a fairly good idea what things represent. I'll be glad to see myself being (more than likely) proven wrong anyways. Can't wait for more.

I just died a bit on the inside...

I do hope you update soon. and PLEASE give it a happy ending... Very good story.

Oh and I think I sorta understand the story... maybe... eh... *sigh* nvm...         I just don't see how the plot relates to Limbo. I've played through the game in its entirety (UGH I hate that game...) and I cant seem to make the connection between the two.

been looking forward to this chapter for a while

GAH YOU! what took so long with the update?

Marvelous thus far. Can't wait for the conclusion! =D This deserves many, many times more views than it currently has.

this is going to be awesome

Allow me to provide some editing assistance, it's the least I can do since you were nice enough to help me embrace this story, which I do not regret.

Ch-9

""You couldn't have known before you did, but... just look at here."""

---"here" should be "her"

"""Y'know... before all this... I wasn't all the happy."""

---"the should be "that".

Ch-10

""as they took their place in the queue for the fifth of sixth time.""

---"of" should be "or"

"" “Errgh...” Rainbow groaned as she pressed int the monstrous statue,""

---"int" should be "against"

^That seems to be it.

Anyway thanks again for finally updating this story. It's one of the more interesting concepts I have read even though I got the gist of what was happening early on. I'm glad you seem to understand that most readers would and are therefor making the stuff we overhear from the real world more elaborate.

Actually the only thing I currently still don't get and look forward to the reveal of is if the entire thing started when Fluttershy touched Twilight in the opening (seems legit due to the unrealistically rapidly healing injuries) or after the Snake thing (if all that was real and not merely the being's initial attempts to screw with Fluttershy).

I don't understand how this can have so few ratings/views when you got it featured on freaking Equestria Daily! This confuzzles me.

I have to say, this is one of my favorite fics so far, and it's disappointing it hasn't gotten the recognition it deserves. Often I find a plot I don't like with good writing, or a good plot that is poorly executed. This is neither. I look forward to when you get time to complete this excellent piece of work!

Well I was about to go to sleep...

F*** that apparently.

With all the fics that updated after super long breaks in the last couple days I'm running out of gifs to express my joygasms...

Image: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fVwHY5FBLQU/Ty6E7AeaojI/AAAAAAAAdxk/Bb_wtfeABZ0/s1600/125350+-+animated+bed+bedroom+books+duplicate+leg_wiggle+rainbow_dash+reading+Read_It_And_Weep.gif

Oh and thanks for that Mother Russia link. That was epic.

OH MY GOSH!

When I saw this updated I just was like:-->

Anyway: Now after I read it I just can say:

This was epic as ever!

I am really looking forward for where this is going now!

And don´t apology for taking so long! You know the proverb:

Haste makes waste...

>>337742337742

The pony version is haste makes paste...

You are an evil, evil tease, you know that?

Looking forward to more.

trippy, but in  a good way.

Color me curious~ I'll try and start reading this later today.

I love your style here.  You notice all the little details and don't let any drop.  I saw how RD stole AJ's photograph back, for instance.  A seemingly insignificant thing to the narrative that, when included, really ups the realism of the scene.  Kudos to you. *showers Hyperbole with Kudos bars*

Now. I'm more interested than ever as to exactly what they are trying to do in the real world to save her. They can't use the full power of the Elements with Shy in her state ...

I'm very confused.  I can't tell who the characters are in the flashbacks, or if they're just Fluttershy's fever-dreams.  I guess I'll have to keep reading.

To paraphrase a great man, Just because it's all in your head doesn't make it any less real.

I can tell the stakes are high here, but don't know exactly what the stakes are.  Regardless, I await the conclusion of this epic struggle.

Okay.  This is epic.

But, I'm confused.

Well, I guess that's why it's called Perturbation.

But, will somepony please paraphrase what has happened so far in this fanfic?

It would be greatly appreciated.

>>343307343307

Sure. I'll PM you to avoid posting spoilers.

Again, you are the worst sort of tease. I loathe you for it and I love you for it. Please don't take too long.

im on chapter 7 right now (i havent read it yet), and i have to ask, is the theme of the story gonna continue like this (as it has been since chapter 5; as in very sad and depressed shy) or is it gonna go back to how it was earlier?

I just found this story and it is excellent.  I love how the story is taking place in her head.  I couldn't stop reading and can't wait for more.

>>30723072 IF this is the prologue... I fear the actual story.

Okay... so this is dark even for me. Granted I do horrible things to my protagonists... but I don't think I ever just killed them. I make them earn their happy endings. Not that that's something to be proud of, considering that sometimes the suffering isn't worth the ending... but still.

And now the Elements are broken like glass... and I think I joined them.

I am starting to get lost... so many flashbacks and flashforewards that I can't tell which is current setting anymore.

So... Rainbow Dash is a foundation stone of reality itself because of her status as an element of harmony bearer, and her death is unravelling everything? So... strange...

>>9210392103 Wait... this story is actually making sense? OR are you just correcting it?

I have a vague grasp of the situation as it is portrayed right now. That's it.

I do believe I begin to understand. I don't know if RD is really dead in this story's real world... but I do know what's going on. The funny thing...? I just had to look up the meaning of the name of this story, and it all made sense.

I don't know if the snakemonster is NMM or simply something of Twilight's... if that's even possible that is, but I do know at least in part what it wants. I will say nothing so as to avoid spoiling the story.

>>548149548149 yia i do basically have the story broken down now just like you its pretty simple tho easy to get lost if you dont think about it tho i thought thered be more twi oh well flutters is good aswell and nmm i feel sorry for you somewhat not really having any friends.

THIS STORY IS EVIIIIIIIIIIL!

The thumbnail reminds me of Limbo.... O_o

The background and noir scenery did it in for me...

Tentative reading will be taking place

Definitely worth the wait. I've been enjoying this story since the beginning and can't wait for the second arc.

Woah. The EoK sacrificed itself to save 'Shy? That... might prove problematic. Especially if the nightmare was just stripped from Shy, not destroyed.

>>11737361173736 Hunh... seems that the exorcism was a waste of time then.... there goes 50 bucks down the drain...

>>11737741173774 And since the background for it actually is from LIMBO, that makes much sense.

Hopefully I'll be making that make sense (within the story) sometime.

>>11746511174651 You are an inordinately patient fellow. You may have this author whip (now with shards of glass embedded in it!) for your troubles. Be gentle... or harsh... y'know, whatever.

>>11754721175472 ...dangit... now I really do need to edit this HARD... especially them closing scenes...

>>11756181175618

You mean I'm confuzzled? No wai, that never happens. Not like I couldn't decide for a year if the story moved  to Shy's headspace at the end of chapter 1 or chapter 4 or anything, nope, nosiree...

I'm a little lost as I kinda forgot what happened previously when I started on these new updates :(

>>11756341175634 NO WAI, GAIZ!

You are close though... so very, frustratingly, tantalizingly close...

As for the second bit... well, there was a hint regarding that in this update, but it should be clear once the next arc starts (whenever that actually happens... blarg *deskheads*). I do appreciate you covering up for my foibles with headcanon though.

Oh wait... already used that emote today... perhaps a ? Yes... that will do.

>>11756351175635 And after so many months, I can't say that I blame you for this.

>>11763011176301

A big part of my hesitance in forming conclusions comes from not really being sure what the physical paramaters for your setting are. The story started pre S2 but references S2 events. Not sure if the ponies are incarnations of the Elements or spiritual bearers, or attuned weilders (as per canon) for instance.

>>11756181175618 Have no fear, I'm gentle. We're a bit in the same boat when it comes to this. I am super slow at producing new content, lacking the proper "mood" or somesuch. And then when I do have the time, I look back at my old stuff and what did I really write this no way this is horrible this must be fixed now. So I understand completely, and when it's good quality like this I'm more than happy to wait.

I am not amused. Still, I will keep tormenting myself by reading further.

>>11764351176435 This is something I do intend to explain somewhat explicitly in Arc 2, though I am hoping to avoid having plot exposition theater when I do so... I can safely say that some of the things you've mentioned are true in some combination of said things ( or rather "A little from column A and a little from column B").

As for the S1 v. S2 thing... well, once things started dropping from S2, they were awfully tempting to put in (especially since most of them didn't violate my plans as some other bits of canon have (see: Rarity's parents with regards to Simply Rarity). Still kinda working at aligning it to S2 canon as it is though). At any rate, it seemed best to incorporate what I could... hopefully things don't get too wonky with S3...

Crystal Ponies, you worry me...

>>11767051176705 Bleh... writerly moods, why are you so very elusive?

Got that "oh, gah, why aren't you better?" going with Arc 0 currently too.

I still honestly have no idea how those error-strewn first chapters landed on EqD...

>>11776291177629 I... um... alright? Sorry? Glad you... uh... somethin'...

>>11791581179158

I'm considering tying you up and "motivating" you to write more.

G3 & 3.5 R34 motivating enough?

Like most of the other readers, I am confused, confused as to where this is going.

I actually quite like it.

Great fic, can't wait to get up to date!

This is beautifully writen, I only just started to put 2+2+2 togeather.

There needs to be an entirely new genre tag for this fic. It should be titled "mind trip."

This was fantastic. I don't know how else to describe this fic: it has left my mind blown. Few fanfictions- nay, few stories in general- have so completely captured my attention and then refused to let me go until I finished it, damnit! It had twists. It had suspense. It boggled my mind, left me confused at the end of each chapter, but I loved it so! I commend you, author, for writing such a work, and words cannot fully express my gratitude to you for helping me stave off boredom with such an amazing story.

One last question for you: Is there more in this arc yet? If so, I would very dearly like to read it.

This was painful to read just because human comprehension is limited when it comes to more than 4 dimensions.

And I swear this story happens in the 10th dimension...

>>11792611179261 Hm... well, considering that I've borne witness to changeling porn being used as "motivation," I dunno how well this plan shall work... unless, of course, we're talkin' about doing this Clockwork Orange style...

I fear the dry eye...

>>11797611179761 Just remember, there might be a 3 in there somewhere. Or even, dare I even speak it, a 1!

>>11799121179912 I think that a good half to ninety percent of my comments seem to claim confusion... so, um... success?

Anyways, this should be it for Arc 1 (though I am considering adding a scene to the epilogue to better transition/explain things (Edit: And I did...)), so the next part will be the interlude then we get to move on to Arc 2, the finding things arc.

And, because I have an affinity for obtuse hints via song, have a thing.

>>11844241184424 Well, I suppose I should apologize for apparently BLOWING YOUR MIND!

Y'know, I honestly don't intend to write things that are so confusing... it just sorta happens. Oh well, perhaps it will push for the evolution of 5th-dimensional perception in humans. If Pinkie has it, why not people?

Does anyone else have no idea what happened?  I really need to reread the hole thing...

Nope...I have no idea what's going on (and I haven't since the giant snake golem thing). I remember now why I call this story "The Mindscrew Story" (and that's saying something, considering I've read Double Rainbow, aka "The story that not even Steven Moffat could understand").

Okay, I think I'm starting to put together a few pieces of the puzzle.  These memories seem to be fading every time she dreams them, worsening her headache.  However, the reason as to why is still unclear, and "Twilight Spazzle" over there (and possibly Pinkie Pie) seem to be the only one(s) who know what's going on.  

For cryin' out loud Twilight...

Ooh! I think I know what's going on! I could be completely wrong, and I won't spoil, but I'm pretty sure this is going to end up being like one of my favorite Futurama episodes. I shall say no more and continue reading...

Ok, so here's my theory: Rainbow Dash is fine. Fluttershy is still comatose. Rainbow is talking to Shy everyday in her coma in the hope of her finally waking up (like Fry did for Leela in Futurama after they both got stabbed by space bees). Shy thinks she's the one that's fine while Dash is dead in her mind. The flashbacks and overall kookiness she's experiencing is her mind trying to deal with being enshrouded in the depths of her coma. Tada! If I'm right I'll feel like a genius - if not, just don't mind me Anywho, I'm off to the next chapter: Onward!

>>16247971624797