Do Your Research
It was her moment, her victory. The Diarchy was defeated, Cadenza imprisoned, and the Element Bearers moments away from drowning in a sea of chitin. Long awaited, the Queen of the Changelings savoured the heady mix of emotions in the air. Love was a necessity of course, but fear and despair had a certain tang to it that only a connoisseur could truly appreciate. Their sharpness made for a superb palate cleanser, desperately needed since the taste of heart-warmth had grown practically stale in these last few hours. She drank deeply.
A bitter laugh sheared through Chrysalis feeding, the irritating trill turning a victory meal into a frustrating hodgepodge. The proverbial syrupy sweetness of laughter had infected her elegant concoction and that just wouldn't do, not at all. After taking brief stock of the battles progress (satisfactory, albeit slow) she felt confident stepping away and indulging herself briefly. With a showy flourish worthy of her title, the Changeling Queen launched herself upwards, gossamer wings flitting here and there as she manoeuvred through the rafters. In mere moments though she'd found the source of her ire and a wicked smile erupted across her snout, fangs fully on display.
“My, my, my Princess,” she spat at the struggling Luna, the dark pony's cocoon holding firm despite her best efforts, sister in calm rest at her side. “I heard you'd gone soft in the head after your banishment, but laughing as your nation is usurped? You surprise me.” Expecting a witty retort, her ire only grew as the Mare of the Moon began again, this time with a full belly laugh.
“Thee has't usurp'd nothing fiend, thee has't only secured thy own failure.” Luna wheezed, breath suddenly coming in fits and starts as her bonds tightened. The sickly glow of Chrysalis horn twinned in the ooze. An ice-cold hoof placed itself on Lunas cheek, alien in feeling, with no frogs and a disturbing lightness to it.
“Tut, tut, Luna, you know better than to speak lies to your new Queen,” the cooling touch ran down the Alicorns snout till it cradled her head, “After all, with kindness and devotion you may live a few hours longer hmm?” The question hung in the air for few seconds before being utterly rejected, this time with a duo of guffaws. Petulantly slugging the dark blue pony in her barrel, Chrysalis buzzed over to the newest member of this comedy act, relishing the gasps of pain and shock she'd generated. “Tell me then Celestia, since I'm so clearly out of the loop, what * is * so funny?”
Whatever mirth was on her face had clearly faded with the sight of her beloved sister writhing in pain, the huge quantities of love Chrysalis supped had clearly done more than just increase her magic. Luna had once wrestled a dragon for fun, a mere Changelings strike should have been akin to a tickling feather. Nervously chewing on her lip, Celestia stared at her captor. “Luna speaks the truth, any victory you gain here will be pyrrhic at best. Equestria will never be yours.”
Rolling her eyes, Chrysalis yawned. She'd grown tired of this schmaltzy hero talk years ago, if it wasn't Celestia, it was Starswirl, or some other self-declared saviour waving a ten bit pig sticker at her. It was all so predictable. All so boring. Shrugging at the twins she turned to leave, hopefully the next wannabe would have some new material.
“What of the sun?”
“Hmm?” she spun back, her interest piqued. “What of it pony?”
The elder Diarch raised an eyebrow before speaking slowly, as if explaining a simple concept to a foal, “Your plan, its missing one key component. The sun.”
Suddenly realising this could be a long-winded attempt at a distraction, a mixture of panic and confusion bloomed within her, distinctly less tasty when homemade. “I fail to see how that accursed ball of light factors into enslaving this nation of weaklings?”
Luna (risking another broken rib) let out a sigh, in the old days they'd of just wiped the accursed bugs out at the source. Her sisters' leniency had clearly let them thrive to debasement, considering how foolish and short-sighted this self-declared royal was. “Thee'd doom the planet with thy plan Chrysliss!”
“What!?”
Celestia stepped in once more, her years (and years and years and...) as a teacher giving her some skill in getting an idea through stubborn skulls. “Impersonating Cadance and taking control of the Crystal Empire would have been a master-stroke. You'd have all the love you needed away from the prying eyes of Canterlot and a new nation to slowly infiltrate with your hive, growing to a force not seen for years.”
“Indeed” Chrysalis agreed, eagerly nodding along. Mentally however she was tormenting herself. Why had she not thought of something that good? Ugh, it would have been so much easier as well! If not for Shinings unbelievable love for Cadance she'd have had to commence a gruelling years long plan to discredit the twin monarchs before installing herself in their place. Improvisation was the name of the game right now, and she felt like she was missing a rather crucial piece of information.
“With your disguise shattered though you defaulted to your secondary plan, a spear tip strike at the heart of Canterlot high society. Killing all within and assuming my form to grow fat on the love of a nation, the Royal family, nobility and Elements of Harmony all now in your control. But you forgot one thing” Celestia finished, a smug look on her face.
Enraptured with her foes impressive oratory Chrysalis couldn't help but be on tender hooks, clapping her hooves together in suspense, “Tell me! Tell me! What did I miss?”
Unable to hold back any longer Luna began chuckling once more, “Thee can't moveth the sun fool,” she cried, wincing with each laugh. “Thee can weareth mine own sisters visage but thee wouldst be dead in a week, this world destroyed by suns unending wrath!”
Chrysalis eyes glassed over while her wings slowed to a less frantic buzz, rumours and tales she'd heard in her hives travels all began to coalesce together deep in her brain. An answer was forming, and she didn't like it. Sure ponies had said Celestia controlled the sun, but it seemed like hyperbole. Just another jumped up ruler talking big to cement their place in society, right? The immortality, sure, that was real. Magic suffused their world though, finding a pool of 'live forever' couldn't be that hard...but controlling the sun?
“Well damn.” were her last recorded words, Queen Chrysalis The First being vaporised with a literal rainbow laser powered by friendship mere seconds later. Future villains would learn from her example and give due diligence to any all information gathered, a sentiment disturbingly agreed with by the (eventual) Princess of Friendship, one Twilight Sparkle.
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The story in of itself was rather nice but the ending was too abrupt, in my opinion, and there are some questions left unanswered. Where did the friendship laser come from if everyone of Chryssie's enemies were defeated? Why did it vaporize/kill her instead of transforming or teleporting her into another dimension/imprisoning her somewhere?
11272431
I did worry about that, but tried it as part of the surreal comedy. Almost Road Runner esque, Chrysalis realises she's over the cliffs edge just as gravity kicks in
Also no, not all her enemies are defeated. The Mane 6 are still battling, Chrysalis is just being hideously overconfident because she's a bit dim.
11272433
I see. Well, it was a nice try, that's for sure! I gotta be honest and say that I'm also somewhat biased because of the implied death there. Then again, it was also implied that Luna's ribs were broken and such.
And it looks like I've read that the wrong way then, with the M6. My mistake! ^^
Thanks for explaining!
A handful of unicorns used to do it and she's been shown to be able to overpower Celestia thus being capable of being more powerful. Might be a little hard since it isn't her talent, but I'm sure she can figure it out.
Though... she is pretty dumb. Probably gonna get overthrown after wasting love and changelings for years while moving the sun when there's a free and easy way to do it right there.
technically, the same claim can be made against almost every villain in the series (including Princess Luna herself) Because none of the villains of the conquerors of the world remember that the sun needs to be moved.
I realize that a lot of people on this site get ye olde timey English wrong and you're probably just copying what you see, but your usage of this word is incorrect. "Thee" is 'you' for the object form of the word, "thou" is the subject form. This is kind of like mixing up "you" and "y'all." Yes, they both mean "you" but there's more to it that that.
Correct:
1) "Thou hast brought thy doom upon thyself."
2) "Doom hath been wrought upon thee."
In the first case, "you" are the subject of the sentence. You are the primary actor, and what you are doing is bringing doom. So it's "thou" not "thee." In the second case, you're not the subject of the sentence. The sentence is about doom being wrought, and you're merely the recipient of the doom, not the actor causing doom to happen. If this case "you" is the object of the sentence, so it's "thee" not "thou."
Tl;dr: Use "thou" if "you" is the subject of the sentence. Use "thee" if "you" is the object of the sentence.
Related, notice that the first sentence uses hast whereas the second uses hath. This is the difference of second vs third person. For example, you've probably heard the expression "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Why is it "hath" not "hast?" Because Hell is neither I (first person) nor you (second person). This is exactly like how in modern English, you would say "I have a ball and Bob has a ball." Who has the ball determines which word to use. You wouldn't say "I has a ball and Jim have a ball."
When you have Luna saying something like "Thee can't moveth the sun" it sounds a lot like "I has a ball." It should be "Thou canst not move the sun." Move not moveth, because like hath/hast, "moveth" is third person, not second person. You do not "moveth" the sun, you move the sun...and the sun doth moveth.
Apostrophes are used for contractions. For example, "can't" is a shortened form of "can not." There's no letter being ommited in hast. It's a whole word, so there should be no apostrophe. Also, "thy" should be replaced with thine when it occurs before a word with a vowel. "Thy failure," but "thine own failure."
"Thou hast usurped nothing, fiend. Thou hast only secured thine own failure."
11272605
I actually ran her dialogue through a "Shakespearian English" translator, cleaning up some of the odder bits (The sun was "Moving Lamp" at one point), so if it's hokey that's on them lol
11272601
I would assume if Celestia can move both Moon and Sun, so can Nightmare Moon. She chooses not to though for ideological reasons. Discord it doesn't really matter for (God level reality warping) but all the other big bads would certainly have that issue.
11272698
Well, maybe not Tirek, since it's possible that he was planning to move the sun with Celestia's powers after he stole them. Then again, since he only seemed to view ponykind as a means to an end, maybe he was planning on leaving the ponies to die once he had no more use for them.
Wow, that got dark.
11272838
"You call me a monster? Do you think of the pig before you eat its flesh?" Etc etc
Tirek could actually be an interesting story about addiction.
11272864 My supreme genius response, "When pigs beg me not to eat them, then I'll stop."
Well, in her defense The Empire wasn’t back from the void yet, so maybe she didn’t even know about its existence.
11272864
Oh my gosh you’re right. That could actually be a really good sadfic: Tirek began as a well-intended extremist but lost himself as he became addicted to magic.
I mean if Chrysalis could get a bunch of sad/redemption fics, why not Tirek?
11272926
I was thinking along the lines of his non-buff form makes him weak and defenseless compared to his brother Scorpan, so he devises a way to become just as strong and useful. Only one jolt of magic isn't enough, soon he's taking for the sake of taking. A being bloated with magic, the size of a mountain, but with no real reason WHY he does it anymore
just force the Sis move the sun
or Celestia Rather let everything dies than give up her Nation
say the ones who want to make eternal night, Nightmaremoon or not
Uhhhh…
11272944
I shouldn't, I really shouldn't. But I had to.
Losing my identity, wondering have I gone insane
To find the truth in front of my I must climb this mountain range
Looking downward from the deadly height,
Never realizing why I fight
I always love it when their plans are foiled by this little detail.
11273388
I was more reminded of Akira from that old anime. Loses control of his powers in his desire to win and mutates into a fleshy horror that literally has a big bang occuring within it - the power he had always hoped for, yet could never control.
So celestia doesn't move the sun and dooms everyone just because she's trapped again
A true ruler.
11276370
Celestia actually points out that (in her interpretation of Chrysalis plan) that Chrysalis will KILL Celestia, steal her place, THEN the planet dies, because Changelings dont gave the raw oomph needed to move rhe sun.
Celestia you know the phrase “love makes the world go round” who’s to say it isn’t literal. Hehe
11276415
This assumes that feeding off Celestia's love won't give Chrysalis access to Celestia's abilities.
That being said it was well written, and I do love a Chrysalis critique story.
Tsk tsk Chrysalis, Luna and Celestia suckered you into monologuing.
11435050
"You sly dog, you got me monologuing!"
You can has review!