Senator Armstrong Beats The Ever-loving Crap Out of Chrysalis

by The_Chill_Author

Nanomachines, Son!

"One little pony all by herself." Chrysalis crawled and pushed aside the cacoons that were in her way. She then bent and twisted her body eerily to look at Starlight with a grin of malice. "Oh, how will I ever prevent this daring rescue?"

Once she said that Starlight was immediately swarmed and surrounded by changelings, they closed in on her and made her stick to the ground with some kind of goo. Starlight tried to force herself free, tugging and pulling herself with all her might, but to no avail.

"Well, well, well." Chrysalis' wings buzzed like a bee's as she descended from above. "The Princess of Friendship's sole pupil. Honestly, I didn't think you were worth replacing with one of my drones." She sat down on her throne and looked down upon Starlight.

Starlight did her damndest to get free of the goo. "You won't get away with this!" She declared and glared up at the swiss cheese queen in defiance.

Chrysalis smirked, "I already have. Nopony is coming to save you." Chrysalis looked down at Starlight and taunted her with a cutesy face. "Your little squad was it. And now, there's just you."

Starlight grunted as she tried to get herself free, but the goo was stronger than the average Flex Tape Enjoyer, and couldn't break free. Chrysalis cackled and clapped her hooves together, what a cruel changeling she was! Laughter filled Starlight's ears, she wanted to try and block her ears from the constant cackling but with her hooves gooed up, she was left to listen to Chrysalis' insanity.

"All alone! And once you're joined with those fools above, the whole world is next!" Chrysalis smirked and summoned a book to her hooves, "Especially this place called... 'Ah-mare-i-ca", or whatever it's called."

Loud heavy metal music began to play in the background, curiously, everyone in the room - including the cocooned ponies - was looking around to try and search for the noise.

"What the devil is that noise?" Chrysalis asked, she then looked at the nearest changeling and pointed a hoof at them. "YOU! Find the source of that music."

"Yes, my queen." The changeling bowed and buzzed off, Chrysalis rolled her eyes at the changeling before looking back to Starlight.

"Now where were we?"

Before Chrysalis could get another word out, her throne was immediately shattered and she was blown off of it. She quickly recovered in the air and saw the debris of the throne hit various changelings, some debris landed and knocked them out. However, a majority were still standing strong.

"WHO DID THAT?!" Chrysalis boomed with a roar so loud that it rivaled the Royal Canterlot Voice. "SHOW YOURSELF!" She demanded as she glared at the dust cloud, from the dust cloud a hulking figure revealed itself.

"Damn bugs, it's like summer in Texas all over again." The figure walked out of the dust cloud and revealed itself to be the Senator of Colorado, a man who could have been a pro Football player if he hadn't joined the Navy; Steven Armstrong, or rather Senator Steven Armstrong.

Everyone's mouth was agape as they saw green blood on the man's fist, Chrysalis looked on in horror and searched for the body of her drone.

"My liege, above you..." One of the changelings quivered, Chrysalis slowly looked up in terror as she saw the splattered corpse of her changeling drone above her.

"You monster!" Chrysalis yelled, glaring at Senator Armstrong.

"Monsters are all perspective, say if I saw a giant bug with swiss cheese legs, shaped like a horse with a giant horn on top of its head. I would see that as a monster." Senator Armstrong pointed out, raising an index finger to the sky. "And with those horses you have in cacoons above, I have no doubt about that fact."

"YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!" The tip of Chrysalis' horn glowed bright green and a small sphere appeared at the end of the horn. The green orb began to grow bigger and bigger, and eventually, the ground began to crumble and make a crater from the sheer power that was being exerted. "DIE!"

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

A huge blast of green magic slammed into Senator Armstrong and made a hole behind him, "GO, MY CHANGELINGS! STOMP ON HIS REMAINS! IF YOU CAN'T FIND ANY THEN SEARCH HARDER!" Chrysalis ordered.

"Yes, my queen!" They all said, flying into the dust cloud and disappearing from sight. Starlight was looking in awe, seeing the sheer volume of the attack.

Chrysalis looked back at Starlight and assumed her normal bravado. "Do you see now, Starlight? It is useless to fight back, the power I hold is too great for you to-"

BANG!

SMACK!

SLAM!

A changeling was flung from the dust cloud and hit the wall in front of Chrysalis, her eyes were drenched in horror and she forced her head to turn around. "It can't be... It's impossible!"

Senator Armstrong walked out of the dust cloud with the body of a changeling in hand, he dropped it and looked at Chrysalis. The Gigachad pushed up his glasses and clenched his fists, "Let's go."

"What the hell-" Chrysalis didn't have time to finish before Senator Armstrong football tackled Chrysalis and sent her tumbling across the ground. Chrysalis quickly rolled to her feet and glared at Senator Armstrong, she didn't have any time to counter-attack though, because her head was immediately grabbed by the hulking goliath.

"Played college ball, ya know." Senator Armstrong said as he tried to crush Chrysalis' head.

Chrysalis gritted her teeth, "At some foalish school full of idiots!" Chrysalis retorted as she teleported away from Senator Armstrong, only a meter back. Senator Armstrong lunged at Chrysalis at blinding speed, he slammed his fist into Chrysalis' face and broke her nose. Chrysalis stumbled back as the Gigachad kept the pressure, going for a series of jabs and hooks. Chrysalis did her best to avoid them and block the attacks that she couldn't dodge. But eventually, the senator caught Chrysalis by the throat and raised her above his head.

"Try University of Texas. Coulda gon' pro if I hadn't joined the Navy." Senator Armstrong said as he grabbed onto one of Chrysalis' back legs and added pressure onto it, "I'm not one of those beltway pansies." the changeling queen tried to teleport but she couldn't focus because of the pain. "I could break a queen in two..." Senator Armstrong said as he turned around. "...With my bare hands!"

The Gigachad chucked Chrysalis into the sky, she was currently whirling around like a ball and found her wings sprained from the tumble she had. That only left with teleportation, which she couldn't really concentrate on when her vision was spinning around like a carousel. So instead, she screamed in absolute terror.

"Don't fuck with this senator!" Senator Armstrong ran towards Chrysalis and gave her the boot, brief cries of cheering were heard. The kick sent her bouncing off the ceiling and hitting the ground. Senator Armstrong pushed up his glasses, smugly.

Chrysalis pushed herself from the ground, gasping for air, she looked up to her horn and found it cracked. She let out a shriek of fear and tried to do a spell, but could only manage a sparkle. Chrysalis glared at Senator Armstrong. "DAMN YOU! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! THIS HAS NOTHING TO INVOLVE YOU!"

Senator Armstrong chuckled, "You wanna know why?" He raised an eyebrow with a grin sneaking itself onto his face, ""I have a dream!"" He quoted, raising his fist into the air.

"What?" Both Chrysalis and Starlight asked out loud.

"That one day this government would have more control over the people. A land of the truly harmonious, damn it!" Senator Armstrong pointed at Celestia who was still up in the ceiling. He suddenly rushed Chrysalis, "A nation of ACTION, not dance. Ruled by ORDER, not chaos!" Chrysalis was pelted with punches after punches, and not long after he was choking her yet again. "Where the individual changes to suit the law, not the other way around." Chrysalis tried to choke Senator Armstrong with her hooves, using both instead of one. "Where power and justice are back where they belong: in the hands of the government!"

Senator Armstrong tried to push Chrysalis into a wall but she held her ground and pushed back. Senator Armstrong and Chrysalis both reared their heads back and slammed them into one another. Senator Armstrong's head briefly turned pitch black which caught Chrysalis off guard. "Where the government is free to act - to make demands - for themselves!" SLAM! Another headbutt had Chrysalis barely standing on her hooves.

"Fuck all these limpdick royal guards and chickenshit policemen!" PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! Senator Armstrong grabbed Chrysalis by the back of the head, "Fuck this 24/7 spew of song and dances!" SLAM! Senator Armstrong picked Chrysalis back up. "Fuck friendship. Fuck the cutie map!" Senator Armstrong winded up a punch, and punched Chrysalis on the schnoz, chipping off some over her horn. "FUCK ALL OF IT!"

Chrysalis was sent tumbling across her cave, "Equestria is diseased, rotten to the core." Senator Armstrong said with a disappointed look in his eye, "There's no saving it..." Chrysalis stood up to her hooves, her whole body was shaking from the beatdown. "We need to pull it up by the roots. Wipe the slate clean, BURN IT DOWN!" SLAM!

"Why won't you... DIE?!" Chrysalis lunged up and punched Armstrong in his face. He chuckled and ripped off his shirt.

"Nanomachines, son! They harden in response to physical trauma!" He slammed his fist onto the ground. "You can't hurt me, Jack."

"Who do you think I am? My name is not-"

"What did I just say?" Senator Armstrong grinned performing an uppercut so powerful, that it would leave Saitama to shame. Chrysalis landed on her back and groaned.

"This is the laziest piece of writing I've ever seen..." She wheezed out, Senator Armstrong sat on her stomach and began to punch her chest.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Senator Armstrong's machine-gun fast punches obliterated Chrysalis' ribcage. He reeled back a fist for one more punch. "DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

---

"So, Twilight, who is that guy?" Rainbow Dash asked, Twilight who was currently swirling her tea around. The two glanced at Senator Armstrong and Phil Swift.

She smiled.

"A friend of Phil."

Author's Note:

This is the second time of me writing a shitpost, I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me :(

Comments

[Jinxed]

"This is the laziest piece of writing I've ever seen..."
Only a little, still somewhat amusing though.
Also the music ended as I reached the end of the fight, so that was cool.

[The_Chill_Author]

11272497

Also the music ended as I reached the end of the fight, so that was cool.

Really? That's fucking amazing!

[cyber ibis]

I read this,and decided that it was hilarious.

[witegrlninja]

Hey, I discovered this kickass song. It's not that lazy!

[DarkKing2]

[Doctor_Den]

i.e. technically Equestria traded one villain for another

[Fluffy-Boi]

HAhahahahahaha!! This is fucking amazing!

[Spazz Kid]

NO! I WONT SING THE SONG! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!

[KarasAdamas]

11272599
Standing Here
I’ve realised
You are just like me
Trying to make History

[Spazz Kid]

11272615
en.meming.world/images/en/thumb/6/62/Screaming_Jake.jpg/300px-Screaming_Jake.jpg

[KarasAdamas]

11272627
But who’s to judge
The right from wrong
When our guard is down
I think we’ll both agree

[FanOfSun]

11272636
That VIOLENCE
Breeds VIOLENCE
But in the end
IT HAS TO BE THIS WAAAAY!!

[KarasAdamas]

11272715
I’ve cut my own path
You’ve followed your wrath
But maybe we’re both the same

[CasualReader]

I don't get it... why is Gigachad's dream the opposite of Armstrong's?

[SilverPony98]

THE TIME HAS COME TO AN END!

YEAH, THIS IS WHAT NATURE PLANNED...

[gman1311]

Badass!

[Orderly Disassembly]

Me confused

[Stalin with Da Spoon]

This... This... It's fucking beautiful...

[Drakozozh]

200%mad/10 would cite my source as making it the fuck up again

[Muggonny]

As soon as the song stopped playing Komm Süsser Todd blared through my speakers, and it was then that I began to feel sorry for Chrysalis.

[Xawine]

"I have a dream." That one day every Anon in this thread will write their own fics. A board of the truly free, dammit. A thread rule by discussions, not airships. Ruled by fics, not wasps. Where the canon changes to suit the author, not the other way around. Where features and upvotes are back where they belong: the hooves of the horsefuckers!

[FanOfSun]

11272723
The world has turned
So many have burned
But nobody is to BLAAAME!

[KarasAdamas]

11272879
Yet staring across this barren wasted land
I feel new life will be born
Beneath the BLOOD STAINED SAAAND!!

[The_Chill_Author]

11272911
The source is that I made it the fuck up.

[Fluffy-Boi]

*reading this Fic* Bro, Are you high?

[The_Chill_Author]

11273003
Yeah, I'm high on deez nuts in yo mouth.

Gottem.

[Fluffy-Boi]

11273015
HAhahahahaha

[technofan]

Chrysalis was sent tumbling across her cave, "Equestria is diseased, rotten to the core." Senator Armstrong said with a disappointed look in his eye, "There's no saving it..." Chrysalis stood up to her hooves, her whole body was shaking from the beatdown. "We need to pull it up by the roots. BURN IT DOWN!" SLAM!

Thats a nice argument senator, Why dont you back it up with a source?!!

[FanOfSun]

11272924
BENEATH THE BLOOD STAINED SAAAAND!

[Shady Nail]

11273222
"My source is I made it up!"

[Herald of Opera]

Now that I think about it, if you eat love then your feces is also love. Or something like that. I was going to comment that Chrysalis has never actually felt or understood love beyond it being her food source but then the pun on "crap" hit me.

[TiaBestPone]

This was... I don't think I can find the words to describe how beautiful this is.

[Fox Jones]

*Chef's kiss* Perfection!

[Knifepony]

Funny Nanomachine man

[Mare Of Mystery]

The next story should be "Bully Maguire teaches little goblin jr. (Cozy Glow) a lesson"

[ButterscotchFTW]

This gets an immediate like and favorite from me.

[Auriga21]

We need more Gigachad Armstrong fics lol!

[The Wingman]

Anddddd this gets an immediate like and favourite from me.

[fig_meister]

what, happened?

and why i liked it?

[Raven Blackwood]

11274813

what, happened?

Nanomachines, son.

[Fire Hearth]

Hey! Thanks for linking me from your story! I really appreciate it and I'm am more then glad you actually enjoyed it!

[The_Chill_Author]

11275156
I was laughing with you at the end my guy, that was fucking amazing. The way you incorporated voice changes and sound effects just *chef's kiss*

[The Hermit]

very cool

[21RoadsWasTaken]

11273332
Imagine Raiden, free from cancel cultures, where no calls out for our outlandish claims.
In the world where I can say the N-WORD

[Barrack Obama]

11279424
...
what

[The_Chill_Author]

11288251
Ever harassed a minority, Raiden?
少数派、雷電に嫌がらせをしたことがあります

[Barrack Obama]

11288496
No

[The_Chill_Author]

11288556
Catch

[CJLightning]

Hey Guys Phil Swift here

[Nightmare_0mega]

This was quite the fun shitpost to read. Tickled me in just the right way. Have a thumb.