Crystal
Drake was a sweet enthusiastic dragon with only a few years in his name. He was playful and got excited by the smallest of stimuli, enjoying life to the fullest as it came. Days were spent chasing butterflies, smelling for crystals and enjoying the world in general. He was a curious little dragon, often learning new tricks from neighborhood dragons. The future was an open road. He could become any kind of dragon he wanted. A knowledgeable one, an agile sporting kind, a hard-working forge master dragon or any other variety. If it was up to him, he’d become every kind of dragon and more, for he loved all and enjoyed everything.
He didn’t spend much time indoors because there were just so many things to enjoy out in the open. The only time he came inside was when the day was over and he was tired from all the fun activities. He looked forward to the morning and couldn’t wait for the night to be over. Life had a lot more in store for him and he would pursue his destiny with the tenacity of a dragon king. Or so he thought.
The following night everything changed. A big tremor shook the ground. Seismic activities were regular phenomena given that his cave was at the base of an active volcano. However, the shaking was quite severe that time around, collapsing the wall at the end of his cave and revealing a whole new room.
The world was still the same, and so was he, but there was one little detail that was offsetting him. Under the ceiling hung a big juicy crystal. It probably had some kind of history, but it didn’t matter. All he knew was that he wanted it, badly.
Unlike all the other mornings when he would jump right up and run out to enjoy life, that start of the day was different. He walked under the bait like a shark, readying for a strike.
The chandelier was probably a remnant of a time long gone, but it didn’t matter to the little dragon one bit. All that mattered was him getting the crystal.
A neighboring dragon from the hot springs called for him outside the cave, “Drake! Come out to play. The lava is hotter than usual. We can wrestle in it all day long. I even brought us a rock to throw at each other.”
Drake walked ever faster toward the entrance to remove the boulder blocking the entry. His jumps slowed to a walk and the walk slowed to a halt mid-way. The dragon outside was his friend, but there was another thing calling him from behind. A smell of delight, right there for the taking. All he had to do was grab the crystal and everything would be as it always was, just better.
The boulder blocking the entrance had to stay in place. Drake knew dragons, for he was one himself. Unprotected hoard is free for the taking and crystals were the most sought-after treasures. Nodragon should know about the chandelier. Privacy and solitude were Drake’s friends. At least that’s what he thought at the time.
He plunged back, running faster and faster. At the entrance of the new room, he jumped as high as he could. He flew up with an open mouth. His long tongue brushed against the hanging crystal which overflowed him with the divine taste, but when he snatched at it with his sharp teeth, he missed it just by a little.
A relentless crash to the dusty floor followed. He found himself sore and bumped, but it didn’t stop him from trying again. And again. And again. He attempted to knock it off with his tail and claws, but couldn’t reach. Only his serpent tongue was long enough to touch it, yet not firm enough to bring it down.
After the whole day of jumping and falling, he tired. The many failures damaged his resolve and his will was waning as well. The many injuries from the falls amounted to a limp.
Yet, that wasn’t the main reason why he wouldn’t walk out of his cave like every day before. He sat in the middle of the room, looking up at the one thing he wanted more than anything else. The crystal dangled above him, so close, yet just out of reach.
He couldn’t help himself with any item from his cave, for he had none. Being a simple dragon, he never needed anything. To venture outside, however, would put his treasure at risk. Parting with it was not something he wanted to do. Nothing can ever come between a dragon and his crystal.
His joy turned to misery as he sat there, looking up to the one thing that could bring back his happiness. Minutes turned to hours, hours turned to days.
He didn’t venture outside anymore. What he wanted was right in front of him. Knowing that, he stayed indoors. Nothing else could bring him joy anymore, not until he would get what he wanted.
With days, the smell only grew more enticing. His desire for the crystal grew, but inside of him was turmoil. With the crystal in his snout, every other activity would be better than it ever was, but without it, everything seemed meaningless.
Drake knew the dangling crystal was sucking out his enjoyment of life. But at the same time, it was the key to his happiness. He could not leave it alone. One way or another, he would get to it, or die trying.
Even though it was torture for Drake, he stayed in the room. Everything he loved until that point simply ceased. That out-of-reach crystal would always and forever be the center of his world. The craving wouldn't make him happy. In fact, it would make him miserable. But he could not help himself. As long as the crystal would exist, he would never be free. And the crystal wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Drake was trapped.
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The crystal is literally tantalizing:
Tantalus tried to feed 1 of his sons to the Gods. As punishment, he was eternally thirsty and hungry with water and food perpetually just out of reach.
11248824 You know what? I'm going to change the title.
Dangling -> Tantalizing
11248999
¡Cool!
And... he didn't grow in spite of this overwhelming need?
This feels like a public service announcement Ember cooked up to warn young dragons about losing sight of friendship when confronted with something more tangible. There's a stiff artificiality to everything that keeps me from reaching full immersion. Still, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.
11267866 Greed alone is not enough. Perhaps if he got the crystal, he'd grow.
A cautionary tale, indeed.
It's a reflection of my soul.
well, that never ends well! if i were him, i would simply be aware of the common narrative trope of gluttony being punished in some ironic way
haha, that definitely sounds like how dragons act in the canon! dragons rock
nice, getting Aesop's fables vibes from this
and oof! this definitely feels like a metaphor for addiction, the way the rest of Drake's life crumbles away until his entire world is just him and his crystal. it doesn't seem like a good place to be in at all!
it feels very much like a cautionary tale dragons tell their young, with just how everydragon Drake is as the story's protagonist, about the dangers of craving particular gems to the exclusion of all else. and that is pretty neat!
11297981 Thank you for this. You already had so much work on your hooves with the contest, and with this, you're going the extra mile. I really appreciate you taking the time for this.
More than you know, actually. You see, I have a peeve about some contests. A writer puts a lot of work. She presents her story, and then... nothing happens. Nothing at all. Somepony else wins and gets some recognition but every other story is entirely ignored. The authors don't know what they did wrong. They don't even know if their story was even read. It feels exactly the same as if you spent days writing a story and then just threw it into the fire. The result is exactly the same.
Personally, I'd even be content with being on a list of all stories or having my story added to the 'Read' library shelf. That alone would be a hundred times better than nothing.
For that reason, when I was judging a contest, I made sure to write at least a sentence for each of the entries.
And now I see that you did the same for my story. So, again, thank you for doing this extra step.
As for this story, I haven't told this to anypony before, but what I was describing actually wasn't an addiction. It was the greed in the trading markets. The riches are theoretically attainable with a click of a button. Yet, at the same time, you could spend your whole life chasing the trades and you'd only get punished for it.
11298138
i am glad you appreciate it, that is why i do it! and that is an interesting detail, that this was not intended to describe addiction, but rather day trading. i can definitely see that now!
11298152
DayTrading is an efficient way to get poor fast. One should get an IndexFund and wait a decade or 2. Haste makes waste and all good things come to those who wait.
11316206 Or you could invest in a tantalizing crystal and just watch it retain its value.
On a serious note, you're right. Investing is good. Trading is bad.
normal
11354236 I'm glad you found the story to be normal. May I strive to achieve that as well someday.
11354278
do you consider it bad or do you want to raise your writing skill so that story becomes normal against the background of other stories?
11354344 If the backdrop of other stories is considered normal and I need to improve my writing to get there then I seem to have a long way to go still.
As far as readability is concerned, this might not be the best I have to offer. However, this is the closest story to my heart. Not that that means much.
11354385
it depends on what to compare it with. Against the background of your stories that I liked, then the norm
didn't get it. Yes, it doesn't mean much
11354407 Some stories I write will underperform. Some will be meh. And some, I hope, shall overperform the average.
11354650
got it
I don't get all the downvotes for this story. I'd like to see them try to write a complete, and competent, story with only a thousand words. I sure couldn't do it! I'm upvoting because I think it's a great story given the limitations, and I just really like it. But now I'm gonna be me and do what I always do...
So, the story states that there is nothing in his cave that Drake can use to reach the crystal, but this is simply not true! The wall collapsed to reveal this room, so there should be plenty of debris lying around for him to either throw to knock it loose, or move into a pile under the crystal to get that needed boost to reach it. Drake just sucks at problem solving. Sorry, I pull things apart...it's what I do.
Whenever I find an author I'm unfamiliar with, I always check a short story of theirs to see if their writing is any good. Since I liked this, I'll definitely be checking out more of your work eventually. I'll be around again! Until then, happy reading/writing!
11674665 The story doesn't have as straightforward plot as the stories on this site usually are. Instead, it tries to be philosophical. It's about an unfulfilled wish that is just close enough that you can't abandon it. Yet too far away to ever be achieved.
He's under a volcano. Rocks are merged into big pieces. When the wall collapsed, there was just one piece that was too big to move.
Also, Drake isn't the brightest of dragons.
I like you already.
Looking forward to it.
11674674
See, I thought it was very straightforward. I recognized the plot of the unfulfilled wish (or goal was what was actually in my head) before I was finished.
As for the rock: he can just break it apart with his big, dumb dragon bone head!
11674683 His head is, indeed, dense enough to break rocks, yet too dense to think of it.