Working in a Mattress Store: The Daily Life of Lazy Days

by DiStort

Chapter 4 and an announcement

Chapter 4: Boredom and Big Macintosh

There comes a time in almost every pony’s day when they think to themselves:

“Wow. I have absolutely nothing to do right now.” After sitting in Sleep Sculptors for the better part of the day, Lazy Days and Full Charge had reached this point. Days had eventually finished his newspaper and turned off the radio, since all that was playing at that time of day was the news he had just read. Charge became frustrated with his rubick’s cube as he usually did and chucked it into a random corner of the store to be recovered by Days.

“Dude,” Charge started, “I’m so BORED.” Days moved his head up from its resting place on his right hoof. The boost from his Pink Rush Lite was gradually starting to wear off.

“No pony’s keeping you here, Charge. Can’t you just go out and find something else to do?”

“I don’t feel like moving.” Charge replied. Days chuckled.

“That’s a first.” After sitting in silence for a few moments, a little light winked on in Charge’s head.

“Say, Days. Didn’t you buy one of those new TV things recently?” Days gave a lazy nod.

“Well, get off your flank and set it up!” Days hopped off his stool, grumbling, and started digging around the back of the store, coming back a few minutes later with a medium sized box with a glass screen. He set it down on the counter, Charge adjusting his seat for a better view, and flicked the ON switch with his magic. The screen flickered to life and Days started surfing channels.

Television, much like the radio and telephone, were recent inventions in Equestria. It allowed ponies to watch various stories and events from the comfort of their own homes. Some of these stories were played out by actors, plenty of whom saw the opportunity to move from stage plays and get in on the wave, while others were special moving drawings known as “cartoons” with ponies dubbing their voices over the characters. At the initial unveiling, a reporter asked the creator of the device and CEO of the newly established ETV, Mr. Tubes, how exactly television worked.

Mr. Tubes replied with “Unicorn magiscience has gone more or less unexplained since the dawn of Equestria. Do any of you honestly think we’re going to start now?”

Reporters were quoted as naming the statement to be “the most begrudgingly acceptable answer to anything we’ve ever heard. We’d argue, but we honestly have no idea where to start.”

Eventually, Days settled on a cartoon known as “Stumpy and Bumpy”, an episodic series about a cat named Stumpy attempting to capture a mouse named Bumpy who is intruding in his house, usually ending with Stumpy being pummeled in some way, shape, or form while Bumpy escapes and laughs at him.

Charge and Days stared at the monitor, watching the animation play, when Days eventually piped up.

“Man, Bumpy is such a jerk.” This caught Charge by surprise.

“What? What do you mean? He’s the good guy. He’s outwitting Stumpy. You’re supposed to root for him.”

“Why would I root for him? He’s intruding on private property; Stumpy’s just defending his home and doing his job as a cat. And besides everything, that mouse is a bucking sadist.”

“Whuzzat?” Charge asked, confused.

“Someone who enjoys making others suffer. Look at him! Stumpy gets beat, pummeled and burned, and that jerk-face mouse just sits there and laughs at him. Who does that?”

Charge shook his head. “You’re reading way too much into this thing, Days.”

“Look, all I’m saying is-” Days was cut off as the front door opened. A burly red stallion with a large green apple for a cutie mark walked in.

“Oh, hey, Big Mac. I was just debating with Charge here about ethics.” Days greeted.

“What he means is that he’s reading too much into cartoons.” Charge added under his breath. Big Mac gave a polite nod.

“Howdy, Days. I got a bit of a… problem.” Charge tilted his head.

“Problem? What kind of problem?” He asked. Big Mac shuffled awkwardly in place.

“Well, see, it’s sorta embarrassin’. I kinda… sorta…”

“You broke your bed again, didn’t you?” Days finished for him. Big Mac sighed.

“Eyup. Granny Smith always said I was a fast grower.” Days waved his hoof dismissingly.

“Say no more, big guy. I’ll have a new, reinforced bed ready for you by tomorrow.” Big Mac nodded again.

“‘Preciate it, Days. See you tomorrow.” He said, leaving the store. Days got off his stool again and scribbled down Big Mac’s order beneath the others. Charge walked up beside him.

“Do you ever worry that you’re overloading yourself?”

“I’m not going to deprive these good ponies of their sleep-related needs.” Days responded.

“I’m just saying, maybe if you didn’t load up on orders all the time, you’d actually be able to get a good night’s sleep.”

“Sleep doesn’t pay the bills, Charge. And I just wouldn’t feel right sleeping when some pony else can’t.” Charge gave a shrug and looked up at the clock.

“Well, it’s getting late, I should probably head home. You build as many beds as you want, you maniac.”
Days gave a small grin. “Already planning to. And if I can ever finish you-know-what…” But Charge had already left the store. Days gave a small huff and worked his way up to the attic to find the book he needed for Twilight’s sheets, as well as some foamy material for Gummy’s bath bed and Vinyl’s bedtime turntables, and a few packs of super-thick wood for Big Mac.

It was going to be a long, really, really sleepy night, but Lazy Days had a job to do, no matter how tired or disgruntled he got.

Author’s Note: Now, then. This is the end of Daily Life. But here’s the honest truth: this fic was actually just an experiment. I wanted to create the characters of Lazy Days and, to a lesser extent, Full Charge, and see how I can develop them and how people react to them. Feedback was, unfortunately, limited, but the few comments I did get were more or less positive. With my experiment complete, I will soon begin my REAL project.

Lazy Days sometimes has bad days, and sometimes he has REALLY bad days. But that one fateful day in particular, well, let’s just say you could be hard pressed to find a pony having a worse day. Maybe a squirrel, though. But on days like those, there’s really only one thing you can call em’. Coming soon:

Lazy Days is about to have…

A BAD MANE DAY

Comments

[JasonTheHuman]

Mr. Tubes replied with “Unicorn magiscience has gone more or less unexplained since the dawn of Equestria. Do any of you honestly think we’re going to start now?”

Reporters were quoted as naming the statement to be “the most begrudgingly acceptable answer to anything we’ve ever heard. We’d argue, but we honestly have no idea where to start.”

^ This. Right here. You're awesome.

Aside from that, I want to see where you're taking this. There aren't enough people willing to create an OC who isn't super-special-awesome and is instead just a regular Ponyville resident, and so you really have created a good character. The humor is always more witty than random, so you've also got that going for you. It's hard to explain exactly why I like this story, but I do. Good luck with wherever it goes.

[RemareShadows]

Big mac must go thru beds like water.
Must be where alot of the farm funds are going.