Working in a Mattress Store: The Daily Life of Lazy Days

by DiStort

Prologue

Author’s Note: Okay, so… kinda wrote myself into a corner with Pony’s Best Friend. Whoops. Let’s just leave that one alone for a while, and instead pursue another idea I had.

Working in a Mattress Store: The Daily Life of Lazy Days

Prologue

Once upon a time, in the town of Ponyville, in the land of Equestria, there stood a store in the main shopping district. This was a very specific store, mind you. It was a store that sold custom-made mattresses and sleeping aids. Hence the name of the store, “Sleep Sculptors.” But that’s not the important part.

The important part was the pony who ran the store, a stallion by the name of Lazy Days. He was a red furred unicorn, with a slightly long black mane, pale blue eyes, and a cutie mark of three z’s. In case the z’s didn’t tip you off, his special talent was sleep-related. Days was known all over Ponyville as being the colt who made some of the comfiest mattresses around. But as much as Days loved making beds for the pony folk, he equally detested it. Now don’t get me wrong, he makes a good mattress and enjoys the process. But the problem was that the only time Days could get any work done was at night. During the day, the main shopping district was far too loud for him to concentrate, which he needed to make the best mattresses he could. Hence the store’s odd tagline: “If you’re getting a good night’s sleep, I’m probably not.”

Still, even with his lack of sleep, you wouldn’t think it would be that hard for Lazy Days to run such a specialized store. A mattress is a big purchase; surely ponies aren’t stopping by that often for new ones.

Clearly you’ve never ran a mattress store in Ponyville.

To quote a certain purple unicorn mare, “All of the ponies in this town are crazy.” After living there for a couple of years, Lazy Days knew this quite well. On one end, there were ponies with odd personalities. Not bad folk, mind you, just somewhat indecisive. They come in one week to buy a new mattress, and then come in the next to buy another because they got tired of the first one. (Good thing nopony knew what return policies were, huh?) On the other end, Ponyville itself seemed to act as a natural chaos magnet. Dragons, parasprites, rampaging bunnies, ancient trickster gods, and more. There was always collateral damage, and when someone has their bed destroyed, they pop right over to Sleep Sculptors for a fresh one.

The chaos never really bothered Days, though. He didn’t exactly approve of making money off of wanton destruction, but he wasn’t one to turn down a pony deprived of a warm bed. Hay, sometimes if there was commotion going on in town and Days was especially bored, he’d set up a lawn chair in front of the store to watch. Long as it didn’t affect him, it was at least entertaining to watch.

I remember hearing something interesting from somepony. This fella told me the day Discord came into town and started bucking everything up, Days still just sat there in front of his store, nursing a bottle of cherry soda. Fella told me Discord even came right up to Days and tried to spook him, but Days just stared him down and offered him a soda, which Discord accepted and then left him alone. If that story’s true, then Lazy Days is either the bravest pony in Equestria, or the one who gives the least of a buck.

But I bet you’re all wondering where I’m going with this. Well, one fateful day in Ponyville, Lazy Days got a string of some pretty interesting customers.