Could you dumb the story down a little? I don't think i'll be able to understand this. Hurrr durrr

It's a cross over with Transformers, right?

I didn't read this, but it's Futurama. Am I right?

>>12837011283701

Yes. Like the other nine or so fan fictions of mines.

If you do read it, I hope you don't think it's too bad.

By the way it's "Futurama" not Futurerama.

Well I can say it was entertaining, and mildly funny. I do like Futurama.

There are quite a few sentences structured weird, grammar issues, and you should get more detailed with it. I don't bash people's creativity, but if you want it to be great get really creative, man. Just my opinion. I have read worse, but this could be better.

>>12838041283804

Well I can say it was entertaining, and mildly funny. I do like Futurerama.

Well that's the least I can hope for, it's still good.

There are quite a few sentences structured weird, grammar issues, and you should get more detailed with it.

Yeah, I should thrown in more details, maybe I'll send it to editors. Grammar issues? From stupidified Ponies or non-stupidified Ponies. Because some stupidified Ponies can barely speak like Pinkie Pie.

I don't bash people's creativity, but if you want it to be great get really creative, man. Just my opinion. I have read worse, but this could be better.

Hmm originality is important. But also other better MLP Fan Fiction writers than me using the Brain Spawn invade to Equestria I'd like to see.

I'd love to see other fan fiction writers own version of this.

Perhaps called it: The Why OF Derpy XD (Better MLP Fan Fiction writer you can take that title.)

Eh, no offense, but it didn't seem like you put much effort into it, and editors will only edit a story if it looks like the writer really attempted to make the story great.

The best advice I can give when you write. Read it, and look at the areas where your story lacking. Details, make sure the verbs stay in the same tense, punctuation, and repetition.  Too much repeating of words can be annoying, run-on sentences, and fragments. any oddities

Also, read your story out loud. If you do that you'll definitely hear what's wrong with the each sentence.

I am not the best person to ask about writing. I have decent stories, but they could be a lot better. There are a lot websites, or writers who will probably help you.

Yikes. Um. Better luck next time. Derpy meeting the big brain was word for word the Futurama episode, in parts. Just..no.

>>12895901289590

Well then go write your own version then, I'm sure it'll be better than mine. Or get some other competent writer to do so.

:D Great job

P.S. Look forward for a Queen Chrysalis Fic callled : ''Take my life,please!''

>>14291021429102

Thanks Fry!

Your fan fiction sounds good.

>>14399771439977 It sure will ;)