Secrets and Lies

by Sergeant Unmentionable

Secrets and Lies

SECRETS AND LIES

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes to find herself floating in a featureless void. She flapped her wings lazily and spun in place, but no matter which direction she looked, her keen vision couldn’t find a single landmark to fix upon, not a single detail to observe. Instead, an omnipresent whiteness greeted her in all directions, its gentle light illuminating her body. Absent of anything else to contemplate, the pegasus curled over and looked closely at herself.

She was rewarded by the sight of striking light blue fur, covering - but not obscuring - well toned muscles and a lithe frame, the results of countless hours of intense training and practice. A slight contortion brought her flank into view and Dash began admiring her unique cutie mark and rainbow-coloured tail. Even if she said so herself, she couldn’t remember ever seeing a cooler mark than the cloud-and-tricolour-lightning emblem blazoned upon her sides, and she giggled when she remembered that short-lived trend Scootaloo had started for wearing a rainbow-coloured wig.

She spent a few more minutes just floating in nothingness, checking out her own physique and her impeccable style, before she was forced to finally come to an inevitable conclusion: Rainbow Dash was pretty awesome. This fact determined, the pegasus sighed contentedly and began flaring her wings. Lazing about was pretty cool, sure, but the coolest possible thing had to be the act of flying. She stretched and warmed herself up for the flight ahead, shaking any last vestiges of sleepiness from her body, and was about to set off when something very important finally occurred to her.

Where would she go?

She looked around once more, but nothing had appeared to act as a beacon while she had been engaged in her introspection; the void was as empty as ever. There was no north or south, east or west; idly she realized that she could not even feel the pull of gravity, and hence there was no up or down. No horizontal direction she could deal with, she had flown aimlessly before; but how was she supposed to deal without an up and a down? Flying without gravity didn’t even make sense. Where was the challenge if there was nothing to push against?

No sooner had she thought this than Rainbow Dash realised that she was falling, the rush of air over her coat and ruffling the feathers of her wings the only indication of her speed. She turned her head to look in the direction of the new down, wondering perhaps if there would be a ground to go with it, but still nothing but the void stretched out endlessly before her. That didn’t make any sense, either. If there was no ground, where was the force of gravity coming from?

She felt an abrupt shift and she spun for a moment, re-orienting herself; gravity seemed to have decided to point in a different direction. The pegasus looked into the onrushing air and again saw nothing, but smiled in comprehension nonetheless; here, gravity was whatever she wanted it to be. Awesome.

Another few minutes went by as Dash simply allowed herself to be pulled in various directions, enjoying the sensation of free-fall without the normally constant fear of an imminent impact. Even this newfound excitement soon gave way to her original desire to fly, though, and so she began to flap her wings and fight against the pull of gravity. She was kind enough to allow gravity to remain pointed in one direction for now and give her a constant frame of reference.

Time to fly.

With a sudden burst of energy Dash propelled herself forward, flapping her wings like a mare possessed and accelerating into the void. Within a few seconds she could already hear and feel the mad rush of air roaring past her, her mind overcome with the exhilarating sensation of pure speed.

She rocketed along, leaving all her worries and fears far behind, racing at speeds far faster than they could ever hope to even attempt to achieve. She felt the air resistance in front of her reaching a breaking point as she strained ever harder, the very air itself struggling to impede her progress... and failing.

With a fantastic boom and a flash of multi-hued light she broke the sound barrier, laughing with sheer joy as she went. No ground or mountains to get in her way; no clouds to obscure her vision; no distractions to threaten her concentration. This empty void was the perfect practice ground for simple speed.

She stole a glance over her shoulder as she flew, hoping to admire the rainbow trail she knew she was blazing through the empty sky at that very moment. She was not disappointed, but surprised and confused to see not only the evidence of her own passage but almost half a dozen tiny dots of various colours, far off in the distance behind her. As she watched, the dots steadily grew, until with a start she realised that the dots were no simple trick of the light but instead were definitely things, and things travelling at a tremendous speed; they were going so fast they were even catching up with her!

Panic began to claw at the edges of her mind and she pushed herself even harder, reaching speeds she was sure she had never gone before; indeed, speeds that no pegasus had ever reached before her, or likely ever would after. Still the mysterious objects advanced implacably upon her. If anything, they took her own acceleration and redoubled it, seeming to gain on her even faster than before.

One of the shapes was orange, and seemed ahead of the rest somehow. Rainbow Dash watched with trepidation as it came ever closer and the features upon it began to resolve themselves into a face - a giant, orange, freckled face, with a pair of big green eyes. A long blonde mane streamed out from underneath the old brown cowpony hat it wore, flapping furiously in the wake of its passage.

“Applejack!?” the pegasus gasped in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

Her words were whipped away by the wind. The giant disembodied head of Applejack sped past Dash’s comparatively tiny form, and spoke words which chilled the poor pegasus to her very bones as it flew by, their sound somehow disobeying the laws of physics to reach her ears even though she knew she was flying faster than the speed of sound itself.

“We love you f’ who y’are, sugarcube,” it said. “Y’don’t gotta hide from us.”

“No!” cried Dash, futilely. “You don’t understand!” But Applejack’s head had already accelerated away from her, disappearing into the empty expanse.

“How could you possibly think we would judge you for this?” the voice of Twilight Sparkle questioned from the other side, taking the pegasus by surprise. She spun to see a massive purple head sedately overtaking her. “We’re your friends, Dash. No matter what,” it continued.

“But - but - “ Dash protested.

“Yeah, silly!” Pinkie Pie’s face giggled, from above. “You’re still our Dashie!”

The much more normally sized head of Fluttershy floated in front of Rainbow’s face for a moment, whispering “You’re still my friend, Rainbow Dash. I just don’t like you in that way. I’m sorry...”

“Fluttershy! I never-”

“Darling!” Rarity’s enormous face suddenly boomed, the sheer volume of sound blowing the tiny Fluttershy away and knocking Dash into a spin. “Why, you should have said! You know, I’ve heard it said in some circles in Canterlot that Spitfire of the Wonderbolts is, as well -”

---

“AAAAAGH!”

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes to the sound of her own scream. Before her she could see the white puffy furniture of her cloud-castle home, although it appeared to be upside down until she realised she was on her back. She had tumbled right out of bed, it seemed. And she was drenched in cold sweat.

Sighing, she brought her hooves to her face and rubbed her eyes. Nightmares again. They were getting more and more frequent as the stress of keeping the secret took its toll on her. How long must it have been now? A year? More?

“I can’t keep doing this,” Dash said, to nobody in particular. “I have to tell them. They have a right to know.”

She looked up at the floor, remembered she was upside down, and righted herself. Then she looked up at the ceiling.

“Today. I’ll tell them today. It can’t wait any longer.”

The multicoloured pegasus closed her eyes, nodded once firmly, and then set off.

---

The seven friends - six ponies, one baby dragon - found themselves assembled in Ponyville’s library that very afternoon. Rainbow Dash herself sat atop one of the library’s tables, ignoring the librarian’s occasional grumpy glances at her hooves. The rest arrayed themselves before her, looking alternately to the pegasus and between themselves.

“Alright,” announced Dash, a slight quiver in her voice. “I-I’m glad you could all make it. I’ve got something very important to tell you.”

“Ah’ll say,” interjected Applejack. “When Applebloom came t’find me she tol’ me y’were more worked up ‘bout whatever it was than a sheep stuck in a well.”

The other ponies all looked at her blankly.

“What?” asked Applejack, defensively. “Y’ain’t never heard that one before? Ah don’t jus’ make this stuff up, y’know, we had a sheep trapped in a well once, an’ let me tell you, it was not pretty-”

“Girls? I think we’re getting a little sidetracked here,” Twilight Sparkle interrupted. “Rainbow Dash is the one who’s supposed to be doing the talking. Right, Dash?”

“Y-yeah! That’s right. Eh-heh...” the pegasus giggled nervously.

“Well, tell us what’s up, silly!” Pinkie Pie demanded. “Even my Pinkie sense doesn’t know what’s going on this time.”

“Good old Pinkie sense,” Rainbow said weakly. “Never lies. Well, uh, this is kind of hard for me, you know. I’ve been keeping it a secret for - for a while, now, but I don’t think I can hide it from you anymore.”

“Dash, you should know by now that nothing you can say will make us think any less of you. You are our friend first and foremost, above all else,” Rarity tried to reassure her.

“Rarity’s right,” Twilight added. “You remember how nervous you were back when you came out?”

“Er, yeah, about that - “ Rainbow began, but Twilight continued.

“And you were all worried for nothing!”

“Pinkie even knew already,” added Spike, who sat leaning against Twilight’s side.

“Good old Pinkie sense!” the pink pony agreed, popping up beside the purple unicorn.

“Well, it’s kind of about that - “ the pegasus tried to explain, but was cut off once again.

“Oh!” gasped Fluttershy. “D-do you have a fillyfriend? Is that what this is about?”

“What? N-”

“You MUST introduce her to us, dear! Any friend of Rainbow Dash is a friend of ours, isn’t that right, girls?” Rarity said, to a chorus of nods and sounds of agreement.

“But - I mean - I’M NOT GAY!” Dash finally yelled, unable to contain it anymore.

Silence reigned for several seconds.

“Then-” Applejack started, raising a hoof questioningly, but the outed pegasus wasn’t going to let them start this again.

“No! I’m not gay, okay? You only ever thought I was because when I got you together to TRY and tell you something important Pinkie immediately announced that I was coming out and you all fell over each other trying to be supportive so much that I couldn’t get a word in edgeways!” By this point Dash had left the table and was hovering in the air before them, waving all four hooves about angrily. “Every time afterwards I TRIED to tell you guys it was a mistake, you kept waving me off and reassuring me that you didn’t judge me or anything and after a while I just got so frustrated trying to make you understand that I just... kind of... gave up. It was easier to let you think I was gay.”

“Wait,” Rarity said. “But - what about that date you went on with Fluttershy? The poor dear told me all about it and how she felt so bad letting you down afterwards...”

“That was in high school!” Dash cried. “I was just curious about it, you know? You have to try everything once, and all that... I didn’t like Fluttershy that way either, really.”

“Oh,” the pink-haired pegasus whispered, morosely.

“No offence, I mean!” her blue friend hastened to add. “You’re still my friend and everything, ‘Shy. Just not, you know, like that.”

“Fair enough,” Applejack announced, finally stomping her still-raised hoof to the ground. “But what about that time at Pinkie’s birthday party, then? Y’were tryin’ really hard t’get me t’follow ya into the bathroom.”

“I was drunk,” sighed Rainbow Dash, “on that damn cider you kept feeding me.”

“You know, one of the primary effects of alcohol consumption is to remove a pony’s inhibitions,” Twilight commented. “So in fact your attempt to... uh... whatever you were attempting to do with Applejack there could, in fact, be construed as an indication of latent homosexuality.”

“I was REALLY drunk,” emphasised Rainbow Dash.

“Ah don’t quite see how that makes a difference to Twi’s theory, there,” complained Applejack. “An’ don’t insult mah cider!”

“Ugh. By that point I’m pretty sure I thought you were your brother, okay?” the pegasus grumbled. Understanding passed across the face of everypony in the premises, except for Spike, who was technically not a pony and also had his claws over his ears and was trying very hard not to pay attention to the icky conversation, and Pinkie Pie, who was staring at her tail in confusion.

“In fact,” Dash continued, “Big Mac is what started this whole mess in the first place. What I was TRYING to tell you guys the first time was that me and him were, well, going out. And stuff.”

“Wait - you - what?” Applejack mumbled in shock, while the other assembled ponies gasped and eyes widened.

“I should’ve listened to him when he said I shouldn’t tell you guys. He said it would just cause problems,” the pegasus went on. “At least having you all think I was gay made it easier to hide the whole thing, afterwards.”

“Hold on one horse-holdin’ second,” Applejack burst out. “Am ah ter take it that yer STILL goin’ out with mah brother?”

“Well, yeah. I guess.”

Fluttershy jumped up suddenly and interjected “but - but I’M going out with Big Macintosh!”

“YOU’RE going out with Big Macintosh?” Rarity gasped, holding her hooves to her face. “But he asked me out on a date just last week!”

“He told ME he was seein’ the mailmare!” Applejack thundered. “Why, that no-good lousy two-three-four-timin’ brother of mine!”

“Okay, let’s try and be calm here, everypony,” Twilight added, trying to settle them down, but the other ponies were having none of it. Apart from Pinkie, who had been oddly silent during the whole event, and seemed to be deep in thought.

“He’s been seeing you guys? No wonder he told me not to tell you! He didn’t want to get caught!” Dash yelled.

“That big dumb JERK!” Fluttershy almost screamed.

“I cannot believe the nerve of such disgraceful behaviour - “ Rarity was ranting.

“Oh, y’better believe that when ah get home ah’ve got me some applebuckin’ to do, an’ I don’t mean the fruitful kind. Least they won’t be when ah’m finished with ‘em -”

Twilight sighed and raised a hoof to her face. The situation was clearly well out of her control now. Spike had long since fled the noise. She noticed that Pinkie seemed to have nothing to say, still, and was thoughtfully inspecting her own tail.

“Pinkie?” the librarian asked, edging closer to the pink pony to be heard over the din. “Are you alright? You weren’t seeing Big Macintosh too, were you?”

“The Pinkie sense never lies,” Pinkie said distantly. “Never.”

“Well - maybe you just misinterpreted it?” Twilight suggested, trying to smile.

“No way,” disagreed Pinkie. “Tail twitch, double ear-flop, knee twinge and quivery... quivery bits. That’s definitely my ‘somepony’s about to come out’ combo. It’s happened loads of times! It means I always know in advance and I can make it easier for them by helping them say it!”

“Well, I suppose if there’s a lot of corroborating evidence - “ Twilight began, but Pinkie was continuing regardless.

“Rainbow coming out was when I first learnt what that combo meant! It’s either that or ‘somepony is about to be horribly misunder... stood...’” she trailed off. Twilight comprehended immediately.

“Oh dear,” she said. “... Pinkie, are you familiar with the concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy?”

“I think I have to go talk to some ponies. Like, right now. And apologise to some ponies. And change some banners. Maybe invent a time machine and change a LOT of banners.” The pink pony held her head in her hooves. “Oh boy.”

Twilight shrugged sympathetically and turned to look at the rest of her friends, who were still in the midst of enumerating the various cruel and unusual things they intended to do to Big Macintosh’s person. Rainbow Dash had even grabbed the library’s whiteboard and markers and appeared to be making a list as the other other three added suggestions; Twilight really hoped her mind was just playing tricks on her when she glanced over and thought she saw the word “squirrel” in Fluttershy’s muzzlewriting.

“This is going to be one heck of a letter,” she said to herself.

---

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that it is important not to assume things about your friends, and in fact if you try to be too supportive you can stifle somepony instead of helping them! You should be there to listen to your friends, but make sure that you actually listen to them instead of letting your imagination run wild. Also, secrets are tricky things, since little secrets can become big secrets if you sit on them for long enough, and even bigger secrets when you actually tell somepony else!

I’ve also learned that if Big Macintosh wants to survive to see you raise the sun tomorrow he better be able to run really, REALLY fast, because he’s much too big to hide anywhere. At least if Scootaloo kept her word he’ll have had a little bit of warning.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle.

Comments

[Morp]

Genuinely laughed out loud at Pinkie's quivery bits and the realization that this wasn't a coming-out fic.

Can we get a follow-up in which we find out what happened to a certain stallion?

[derpy von muffins]

may the hunt begin

[Balancer]

Ha

[Baltir]

This was lo buneo

[Wing Zero 032]

LET'S SEE IF BIG MACKINTOSH CAN BECOME EITHER SONIC OR THE JUGGERNAUT IN ORDER TO ESCAPE THE CUREL AND UNUSAL PUNSIHMENT THAT IS COMING TOWARS HIM

we need to see MOAR!!!

[SirMrDrPwn]

Good Luck Big Mac...

Big Macentosch is screwed like crazy, he dead like crazy

Oh shitbig Mac's done with mares.serious.

[Trinary]

Okay, THIS was a really cute and funny twist on the "Rainbow Dash coming out" fic. And the thing with Big Mac? I did NOT see that coming! Hilarious! Nicely done!

[Sergeant Unmentionable]

Thanks for all the appreciative comments.

(I am genuinely thankful, but am also curious if replying to comments on your own story is part of the arcane ritual which makes it get popular. FOR SCIENCE!)

[Mithrandir]

117306

Can't say I've had much luck with that, but i'll make sure to rate this what it deserved (5 stars), if i'm on the fence with a story, a large number of ratings is usually a sign that I should read, and I want others to read this one!

[Twilicorn]

...trolololol. You just got trolled by ME!

No really, that was quite amusing xD

[Warren Peace]

RUN BIG MAC RUN!!!

[Smirkythread]

Big Mac better hope Scootaloo doesn't understand the situation or he's not gonna survive to see the moon rise, much less the sun.

Also, f#$k Big Mac in this fic.

[Golden Fang Ryu Shenron]

Big Mac, you done bucked up...big time!