”So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
Hazen Smith was your average young man. He has lived a pretty decent life thus far, and now he is currently attending the college of his dreams at Oxford University.
But his life gets overturned when he learns from an old man in a bar that he is none other than the Dark Lord of Mordor; Sauron, the Lord of the Rings.
Surely you shouldn’t trust old men in bars right? So what happens when Hazen awakens as you guessed it Sauron, with all of his memories back to boot. Is this his second chance for a new life? One where he can bring himself a purpose of goodness when all he has ever done was tear others down? Why is he trapped on a world of mythical creatures, and what does this world have to offer that can bring him the purpose that he so desires?
{Contains Silmarillion elements, readers are encouraged to give insight into any inconsistencies that I make. It’s greatly appreciated!}
{Romance tag is for later chapters, so you might have to wait a bit for that part.}
Inspired by Reforged: Tyranny is Magic by Arawndil. You can read it on Fanfiction.net.
Current cover is a placeholder.
I don’t own crap save for this story.
Amazing start!
A semi-displaced story about Sauron's redemption, already hooked, can't wait for more, stay awesome!
Also, clever with the naming. Whenever I make an OC, I always want they're name to have a deeper meaning of who they are. Great minds think alike!
Interesting, I look forward to more.
Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul
this is going to be interesting
Can't wait for next chapter 😊
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“Never before have those words been uttered in Canterlot!”
- Celestia, probably.
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I hope I can make this story an excellent adventure for all of you! May take a few weeks though, this next chapter is going to be a doozy, and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I will!
11040388
I always try to pay attention to details. It would just feel wrong if I were to name the MC Steve or something like that. Glad we can both see eye to eye on this.
Also thanks for the Favs everybody! I will do my best to be deserving of them.
I've been waiting to read a sauron book for a long Damn time I will watch this with great interest
I must admit, I had my, how to put this, doubts, yes, doubts, when I began reading this. But, upon finishing the current chapter, I'm actually interested in seeing the next chapter you post.
I am curious as to how he will handle Tirek, or Sombra, and perhaps Chrysalis.
Looking forward to seeing what you bring us next time you update.
This appears just as I am looking for a sauron fic. Perfect.
Been wanting a good story starting a villain for a while, and I've been playing overlord to get my fix.
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The good stuff that I would love to see in any sort of fiction.
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There are a couple of other Sauron Fics out there. On this site there is Tar-Palantir’s stories (which you can find in my “Sauron’s Library”) and on Fanfiction there is Reforged: Tyranny is Magic by Arawndil. (Which is actually the only reason I’m a brony today actually, so DANG GOOD)
However the main difference between these fics and this one is going to be much more serious. Both of those are more comedy than anything and I want to get into the juicy stuff with this story. I’m talking about adventure, drama, gore, and Romance
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You have gained my attention and, to be perfectly honest I haven’t found any good sauron stories that are actually serious, here’s hoping this becomes a great story
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I understand where you are coming from. All the LotR stories on this site that feature Sauron play him off as a joke or insignificant. Truth is Sauron is one of the most in depth characters in Tolkien’s fantasy. With a beautifully rich history of evil that makes all the villains in MLP wet themselves in terror.
I think it’s probably just LotRs in general that isn’t well represented in the FiMfiction community. There are a couple of them if you know where to look, but they are either overwhelmingly unsatisfactory (unless your looking for comedy) or had a good run but dropped dead.
I want to make a good story with the goal of actually completing it.
11040998
Oh hot damn! Much obliged partner!
Mixed feelings. You're dropping enough background from the Silmarillion and Lost Tales that I think you probably have the background be able to pull this off, but this is going to be a difficult story to write well.
Here are my concerns:
* You're spending a lot of time telling not showing. This entire chapter was an info dump. You spent an entire paragraph explaining his human name rather than leaving it for the observant. In some places you repeat essentially the same dialogue as much as three times. I understand that you can't depend on your entire audience having the required background to fully understand what's going on here...a fair portion of people have no knowledge of Tolkien's body of work beyond having seen the Lord of the Rings movies...but when you have him literally repeating back what was said to him, he comes across as being a little dim-witted. This should be an extremely intelligent character. He's a thousands of years old immortal who's seen the innermost workings of the cosmos. Lacking some memories perhaps, but understand that you, the author, are putting yourself in the position of writing for a being far wiser, more experienced, more intellgent, more capable, than you yourself are. Don't write down for your audience. This has to be a deep story. Show what happens, and let your audience figure it out.
* The setup feels wrong. if he's being sent to Equestria through the grace of Eru, why is he arriving in Tartarus? Why is his "old friend" instructing him to break out by force? That's not a setup conducive to redemption. His time has been served, trapped in a mortal body on Earth. Escaping from Tartarus only sets him up as an outlaw to be recaptured.
I suggest instead, that he wake up in Tartarus in one of the bodies he's previously occupied...perhaps missing one finger as a reminder...and that he be unsure if his time on Earth was a false memory. I suggest that when the door to his cell is opened, he be confronted by the jailer as a mystery, because no record of nor reason for his incarceration in Tartarus exists. That he be released freely and willingly, because they can't in good faith keep him when they have no record of him having committed any crime. But, the ponies should be smart about this, and recognize that an undocumented prisoner in Tartarus might be very, very bad...but they do release him and give him every opportunity to be good, because in order for them consider themselves good, they must to do the right thing, which is to release him.
This sets up a far more politically-tense and interesting dynamic than him becoming technically a criminal on day one by breaking out, and the ponies chasing him down, leading presumably to a fairly generic dick waving story of Sauron being powerful enough to evade being caught despite all the powers of the world being after him.
* I hope that you've considered very carefully the role of the Royal Sisters in this story. Just because a song was sung of Arda doesn't mean there can't be music for other worlds. If the Valar are those among the Ainur who went to Arda, the obvious interpretation is that the royal sisters are of the original Ainur, but that they simply chose to go to a different world within the Great (and presumably infinite) Music than Arda. Whether they would be "Valar" would be semantics. Is a Vala one from among the Ainur who went specifically to Arda, or is a Vala any Ainur who entered into any world at all? Equus could simply be another world, and there could be countless "Valar" besides the 14 spoken of.
Even more appropriately...perhaps Celestia is the sole (or one of two) Ainur for Equus, and Luna, Tirek, and Chrysalis, are her Maiar. You could even drop a reference to Celestia's sun corresponding to the Flame Imperishable for those who might get the reference.
This second option of Celestia as sole (or one of two) Ainu of Equus and the others as her Maiar produces some interesting possilities, since it puts her in a position of direct responsibility for them as well justifiying her reluctance for them to come to any permanent harm. They would be her naughty children in a sense, and she would love them despite all their hatred, and that totally fits her character. While the reason for Sauron's presence in Equestria might be complete mystery to the jailkeepers of tartarus, Celestia should know exactly what's going on, but be aloof and content to let it play out. Consider season 1, when Twilight brought to her the tale of Nightmare Moon's immiment release, Celestia pretended to not know what was going on, and let her little ponies play out their places in the story. Celestia should know exactly who Sauron is, should know exactly why he's here, but be willing to let the story play out as it must. For the Great Music may have both crescendo and diminuendo, but it is beautiful.
This setup also puts Sauron in the position of being kind of like an elder brother to Luna. Luna would be to Celestia exactly what Sauron is to Aule, and there are a lot of interesting parallels. The changelings are like the dwarves, for example, created by Maia Chrysalis without the benefit of the Flame Imperishable, and because Eru didn't step in like he did with the dwarves, they remain bound to her and lack their own free will.
Discord meamwhile, would correspond with Melkor (thereby being the second of two Ainur for Equus after Celestia), and Sauron in this story becomes essentially Luna's elder brother who has already gone through his phase of rebellion. Depending on this story's place in the timeline, if it takes place before Luna's downfall, that means Sauron might lovingly and painfully watch Luna's own rebellion and seek to persuade her to not make the same mistakes he made. Or if this story takes place after her return, then that puts them together on the path to redemption. In either case, it also puts him in the position of having a very difficult time directly opposing the forces of "evil" in Equestria, because he personally rebelled and was given a chance for redemption. How can he possibly condemn others who are simply in an earlier place of their stories than he? And yet, how can he not act, when he knows firsthand what will be the fruit of their labors?
This is a very interesting premise you have here, but it's going to be difficult to tell well. Please don't waste it on author-insert power-fullfillment fic of Sauron running around being a generic super-powerful displaced that nobody can do anything about.
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You actually put up a lot of good points. Some of those things I was already going to do, and others not so much.
There are a few things that you have suggested that are already central to the world building of the story.
Primarily the importance of the Music.
And I must admit I did kinda rush the first chapter. The hardest part in writing (for me at least) is actually kicking the whole thing off. Once I get further along with the story I’m probably going to go back and redo the first chapter. But for now I want to get started on the second chapter.
I’ve also now got editors who should help me keep the story consistent and not repetitive.
Thank you for your analysis!
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One other quick thought:
The alicorn amulet has to make an appearance in this story, though I'm unsure what Sauron's reaction to it would be. It is essentially the One Ring, crafted by a different maker. It would probably seek him out to become its next wielder...but surely he would recognize it for what it is, and very likely he'd want to avoid it like the plague, because he would know full well its manner of operation and that its end goal would be to subsume his consciousness...oh, Witch-King of Angmar.
But I think that as a great maker, in respect, in brotherhood, in fellowship...as one fellow smith to another, he might be unable to resist the desire to find out who made it, and that might be sufficient for him to not immediately bury it in the deepest hole he could dig, despite the risk of even being near it. But who did make the alicorn amulet? Luna? Is it embued with part of her being? Was the Nightmare the empty hole left in her soul when it was parted from her, allowed to grow and fester and become its own independant mind competing for control? What happens if Luna gets it back?
That subplot would be enough for an entire story all on its own.
Looking forward to seeing more of this story, but I do so hope you grasp the depth of this undertaking.
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Thanks for the insight. It has already influenced my plan for the story in many ways, I will look into your suggestions, and although my first arc is going through a major reboot my plans for the overarching plot remain the same.
I look forward to all suggestions for my stories. They allow me to take what I originally had, and weave it into a more wonderful sympathy!
I feel called out I just found this story then see this
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The Dark Lord Sees ALL! His vision pierces cloud, earth, shadow and flesh! Who is to say he can’t see you through your devices as well?
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There were two amulets like that in MLP universe and they are rather rings of power (elves had made them on their own but at his suggestion) than a soul-bound wraith artefact.
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Please keep all your comments related to the story. I appreciate a little bit of joking around as much as the next person but please keep it relevant.
Please. More, give me more! I can't take it!
Also, I understand you want to get to the 'good' bit, but please always strive to show rather than tell, a picture painted with words is worth a 1000 expositions. Or something.
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Thank you for the advice. I’ll do my best.
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I read the only other story like this... but it's dead, not updated in years :(
Also it wasn't approaching it from the same angle at all, good as it was. I really want to see where you take this. Speaking of, next chapter when? I eagerly await it.
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I’ve already mapped out how it’s going to be structured. I just need to get the characterization right, so perhaps a few weeks…
Also what’s the other story your referring to?
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reforged: Tyranny is magic
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I’ve already said this in the description, but this story is inspired by Reforged. It’s a real shame that it has died out. One of the best pieces of fanfiction I’ve ever read. I doubt I’ll even come close to matching it.
Update?
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Eventually… I haven’t found the time write until recently.
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Ok
The only thing I find wrong with this, is him not asking a very simple question (probably the result of magic mindfuckery).
"Do I have a choice in this, or will this happen without even an iota of consent from me, whether I like it or not?.."
greetings from 2023
when is the sequel ?
for fun. I am the dark lord
I want an alpaca and a lot of money .
The name of this kingdom : expect .
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