• Published 21st Sep 2012
  • 17,012 Views, 1,821 Comments

The Last Brony Gets His Wish - theRedBrony



I'm a spiteful old man. I've spent my entire life trying to fulfill my wish. The same thing every one of us wants. It's 2070. I'm the last brony alive, 82 years old. But I did it. I created the portal. And I'm jumping through. No regrets.

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The Rest

Beep

Beep


Beep

Beep

Beep

What’s going on? Oh I hate that noise. On and on, beep beep beep. I see light. I think my eyes are closed. I try to open them, but I can’t. I can’t quite feel anything. Why am I so tired?

Faintly I hear the clip clop of hooves on tile floor. Something irritatingly familiar about that sound… something… oh no. I’m in the hospital again. I don’t know what’s going on! What’s going on?

Think, Dane. Think.

I try… I try so hard to think. How did I get here? How did I– I can’t remember! Alright. I’m in the hospital bed. Right. I can’t feel anything. I can’t move. Can I move? Focus. Move my arm. Come on! A finger? Blink my eyes! Argh. It’s not working!

Think.

Ok, I can’t move. I can’t see. But I can think. I’m in the hospital. Ok. My heart! It must be. The annoying beeping machine… I listen to the beeps… oh it does not sound good.

I wonder if there is any hope this time. After all, how many second chances could I get?

All I can hear is that horrible beeping machine. I hear no one else around me. I am alone. I am… dying alone! I have spent my entire life to come here… and be among friends, while, in the process, watching all my real friends die one at a time. I watched my dear, sweet, beautiful wife die! I was alone, so alone. Then I came here, I made it! I jumped through the portal, and I was with friends once again, but now I am alone… again. Dying alone. Oh the irony! That I should be in Equestria, yet still die alone.

I suppose it’s a fitting end for me. I’ve been alone for so very long. I’m the last of my kind, after all… the last brony. And I made it here… but at what cost? While we toiled away trying to achieve the impossible goal of going to the promised land, we wasted any chance we might’ve had at keeping the My Little Pony fandom alive. I say ‘we,’ but really, it was me. All me. I did this. It’s no wonder there were never any new bronies popping up, I hoarded all the diehard fans all in one place… and all we ever did was work on a stupid machine… when we should have been spreading the love and good word of the ponies.

I can see that now, so clearly, but sadly, it’s far, FAR too late. I destroyed the fandom. I am the last brony, and I’m also the reason that I’m the last… What have I done? I can’t believe how much of a bastard I am!

I think I hear someone walk in. “Dane? I don’t know if you can hear me, but I brought the best doctor, and we’ve got a box full of the latest medicine. The doctors are talking now. Hang in there, sir…”

It’s Tyler. Oh, Tyler… I’m so sorry I almost blew up your dreams and ambitions. Why did I do that? It was selfish of me. I’m such a bastard. He said he wasn’t mad at me for it… but I hope he forgives me. Please, please! Tyler, forgive me!

I think I hear somepony crying… I think it might be Twilight. Poor Twilight… I hope my intrusion into her world hasn’t ruined anything for her. I’m sorry that she’s weeping for me, I wish she weren’t. That’s never what I wanted. I’m sorry, Twilight. I’m sorry! I wish I had another chance to tell her… I’m sorry that I intruded… I’m sorry that I caused your mental breakdown. I want to think that you will get over it, and you will, but it will forever be a scar on your soul, just as it is on mine.

Somepony else walks in the room. “Miss Sparkle?” It’s Dr. Sutures, my surgeon.

“…Yes?”

“I realize this must be very hard for you right now, but… you are the closest pony we have to a next of kin.”

“What about Tyler?” I think that’s Spike.

“He’s not actually related to Dane. And Dane has been living with you, in your care, so that makes you the one we have to inform.”

“What… what’s wrong with him?” She asks, still sniffling.

“To put it simply… he’s had a stroke.”

“Is he going to pull through?”

“Unfortunately, it seems it was several hours before Mr. Tyler found him in the library. These things are very time-critical, and… it does not look promising.”

“Well, what about the human doctor that Tyler brought over? What did they have to say?”

“She concurs with me and… several of our doctors do as well. I’m sorry…”

“What about magical treatments? Maybe I can find some spell…!”

“I’m afraid now is not the time for unconventional techniques. He’s far from stabilized at the moment, and even if he was, we’d have no way of knowing how he’d react to magic…”

“Hey, doc.”

“Yes, Spike?”

“What are the options here?”

“I’m not legally allowed to answer your questions unless Miss Sparkle permits it.”

“You can answer any questions Spike has…”

“Well, Spike, we can wait and see what happens, or we can… take him off of life support.” The doctor sighs.

Twilight starts crying again.

“Doc, if we wait and see, what’s the best case scenario for Dane?”

“I’m afraid, Spike, that right now, the best case scenario is that he might gain some lucidity, but he would likely remain on life support, in a nursing home… for the rest of his life.”

“How did this happen, anyway? He seemed just fine!”

“These things just happen sometimes. He’s 82 years old. I didn’t even realize he was that old when we first operated on him. If I’d’ve known his age, I probably wouldn’t have.”

I suppose I’ve been lucky… to have what little time I’ve had here. I so wish Patty could’ve been here with me to share it. She would’ve loved this place – obviously – but now that I’ve been here, I know even more how much she would have enjoyed it. We could have been together… at the picnic, in the hospital, even. We would have painted Ponyville red. Oh Patty… we’ll be together again soon, pumpkin. I suppose it won’t be long now…

“Hey, doc,” I hear Spike again.

“Yes, Spike?”

“If we… um… pull the plug, will he be in any pain?”

“We will do everything we can to ease his suffering.”

“Alright. Let’s do it.”

“Erm... Spike, I’m afraid I’d have to hear it from Miss Sparkle. And… aren’t you a little bit young to be making that kind of weighty decision?”

“Listen, doc, I have a writ from Princess Celestia herself, giving me power of attorney.”

“…You… Really?”

“Yeah, it’s right here.”

I can hear little fleshy feet walking closer to me.

“It’s alright, Dane. Everything’s going to be alright. I’m… I’m going to take care of you. Ok? Twilight… she’s in no shape to make choices for you. So I’m gonna have to do it for her. For you. Ok? …Ok.”

Good call, Spike. Good call. The last thing I want to do is become even more of a burden on Twilight than I already have been.

I hear Twilight sobbing again, very close to me. In fact, she’s not the only one. I hear lots of ponies crying. In a way, I hope it’s all of the girls. I hope they’ve come to see me off. But then, I hate that they have to be here. That they should suffer because of me. Even if they’re suffering for me. Because that’s what grieving is. And I’ve selfishly put this upon them. It seems everything I’ve done is selfish. I’ve intruded into their world, and they’ve accepted me. I knew they would, and I took advantage of that kindness. And I hate myself for it. I have so very many regrets… but I did it. I got my wish…

Now I wish I hadn’t…

A kind voice whispers in my ear, “I’m sorry I never got to know you better.” It’s Nurse Redheart.

“Rest now…”


The End.

Author's Note:

Ah, for better or for worse, Dane's story is finally over.

There are - for sure - many other things I wish I could of done with this story. The sad reality is that I'm fortunate to have been able to finish it at all. I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Thank you once again for sticking with me until the bitter end. If you haven't yet, please consider following me.

Also, if this ending didn't exactly meet your standards, feel free to let me know in the comments, but if you're interested in my side of the story (pun intended), please read this blog post.

Also, also, this story (and a collection of others) is available in book form! lulu.com

Comments ( 63 )

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

dzamie #3 · Aug 1st, 2019 · · 1 ·

Would somebody pick up that phone? Because I fuckin' called it!
:pinkiecrazy:

9761538
I would think Cristopher Walken, but with less of an accent and slightly slower but full of mirth

... are you trying to say me that one of the most interesting plots I have come across in fan fiction, ended in an uneventful and depressing way ...

You mean to tell me, this is how Dane ends?
I’m going to give you a follow, but you’re on thin ice until further notice bucko.

Well, that totally wasn't rushed at all. :ajbemused:

Sadness! I certainly wasn't expecting an end like this!:raritydespair:

So sad but so moving for an ending. 😫😭

I'm reserving my comments until the status says it's complete.

Well, I’m depressed.

9761688
Its impressive seeing someone rush a story that took 7 years to get this far.

Congratulations this is the first time I have seen someone finish a story after taking a break for a few years and coming back, not only that but you got featured.

Welp. That ending sucked. Then again all the sad ones do. Only way I could see things moving again is Dane to get reborn as a Pony or even a Younger Version Of himself. Or Tyler causing something.

Whelp that happened...

Wow, that was terrible. What a rushed ending to a story years in the making

son, I am disappoint.:facehoof:

9762101

Those are both from four and seven years ago, friend.

Need to mark as “complete” though.

Downloaded

9762101
Did you even understand what they're talking about?

The worst nightmares I have ever had were drowning in the fetid pool of my own regrets.

well ok i kind of saw this coming but dang that was a fast rushed ending.

but still this is a good story and if given the choice sign me up i would do it me self.

O and you may want to shift the story to completed.

3/10 Not Horse Famous.

9761651

Well, the guy was pretty old and one heart attack down. Not to mention the lack of medication or proper chairs. I too feel a little... ripped off? I dunno, the ending was a little unsatisfying but life isn't fair and life itself is a terminal condition (unless you're an alicorn).

9771678 Um. I take it you haven't read the next chapter. He's not having a senior moment, if that's what you're thinking. Spoilers (not really): He's having a stroke.

9760255 Pretty much.
9760350 9760351 Exactly. His symptoms are shamelessly text-book. (I just thought it'd be easier for the readers to understand.)
9760380 lol HL3 in 2022? You funny guy!

9760448 lol, I mean, maybe :pinkiecrazy:
9760514 Heh heh. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE! :trollestia:
9761204 The word 'lighthearted' is not really the first thing that comes to mind when I think of this story. It's a matter of opinion, I suppose. :twilightsmile:
9761538 Obvious new reader! Welcome! I tell you, there were a LOT of comments about this back in the day. Kind of nice to see it again lol.
9761573 Did you? Did you really? (lol it was kinda obvious tho)
9761783 I'm glad at least one person thought so! :heart:
9761788 9762722 Yeah, mybad, posted from my phone and forgot to change it. :facehoof:
9762009 Still not sure if that's a compliment or an insult... *cries*
9762023 Thanks! Also, meh, getting this story featured is as easy as posting a chapter. Its upvote number / ratio guarantees it a spot in the feature box, pretty much just because there are almost never any stories in the feature box with these numbers. Not that I'm boasting, or anything, merely remarking on how the feature box works. :eeyup: (But also I'm totally boasting, when was the last time you seen a 1k+ upvote fic in the box? lol)
9763061 Thanks!
9763288 Well that... uh... that's unfortunate. :duck:
9763348 I'm glad you think it's still a good story despite the somewhat rushed ending. There's this blog post explaining everything, if you're interested.
9763496 bogan/10
9768075 Damn, you make it seem like such a long time. Er, wait, it WAS a long time! But hey, it doesn't have to end, now or even soon. We'll keep the fires burning until the bitter end. (That was part of the point of the story lol)

And so, the bug ponies who poisoned him (because their spies in this much-more-realistic Equestria are competent and Chrysalis here isn't the worst strategist in the multiverse aside from Starscream) stand aside as he dies and feed on his last dregs of love and laugh as his heart stops because they're completely, absolutely, overwhelmingly 1,000,000% CONCENTRATED EVIL (They were made from that stuff in "Time Bandits") and can't ever reform into Skittles Bugs!

Then they go on to competently use their outrageous advantages to properly conquer the whole planet, enslaving the ponies and griffons and dragons and everything FOREVER!! :fluttershbad:

Then, once their numbers have reached over 10 BEEEEELLION chernglerngs they reopen the portal and conquer our world! :raritydespair:

And so, the ending is eternal grimdarkness…

UNTIL ALONDRO APPEARED AND SAVED THE DAY WITH OP OC PLOT CONTRIVANCES!! :yay:


There, I made it better for everypony. :trollestia:

9761651 And then he died suddenly.

It's like real life. Which is why no one ever writes stories about real life. :trollestia:

9762009 It's ok... it could have taken 12 years to make. And still sucked horribly despite critics sucking Linkletter's ass. :trollestia:

9761538 Like earsplitting horse noises. Imagine Dashie's snoring, but ALL THE TIME!!

Ok, actual legit critique.

There was really no need to introduce the Canterlot Wedding plot. That set up a potent buildup to the 'rising action' since we all know what happens there.

And then it's utterly dropped in the last chapter. Not even a mention of the bugs. Hell, as I posit in my troll posting, how do we know the changelings didn't win and are just posing as his pony friends to suck him dry of love (which just FEELS like a stroke)? Because, again as my troll post notes, Chrysalis in the episode was comically incompetent with her powers. She was WRITTEN to lose. This Chrysalis has full self-agency to not be an idiot when the plot needs the good guys to win.

So, yeah, why put the Wedding episode in at all when it leads absolutely nowhere and instead leaves us with so much dangling tension? It might be more interesting to actually have it end tragically. His obsession with not 'spoiling the plot' of this REAL WORLD WHICH IS NOT AN IDEALIZED CARTOON WHICH HE SHOULD KNOW BY NOW leads to evil winning, and SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS!!! (Rian Johnson suddenly appears, giggling manically as he pours wine all over a table cloth... ok, so I couldn't keep it together. I have con crud. Shut up.)

But really, if you're going to end his life in such an abrupt real-life manner, then real-life consequences should exist for everything else too. In any realistic setting, the Wedding wouldn't have ended with a Deus Ex Love Nuke inexplicably blasting away the monsters which use love for power (as at least one satirical story long ago noted, it should have super-charged them instead).


This is a literal case of ending a story with what amounts to "And then he died. The End." Which I should do with all my stories... :trollestia:

9773011 dude.
9773191 eyy cool headcanon! Also, ERMERGERD CHERNGLERNGS!
9773210 That is a legit critique. Let me start by saying that Dane had watched over that particular world for decades, and he was perfectly capable of looking forward or backward in time, because science. So assuming he had never portal-ed to that world, events there (like the wedding) would have more or less happened the way you'd expect (in the show). Yes, it IS a super realistic and not-cartoony-at-all world, but you know, 'villains' like Chrysalis can be incompetent in the real world too. Happens a lot, actually.

But of course, since Dane has inserted himself into this world, who knows what he's changed? Just by being in the world, might mean the changelings win, or lose in a different way, or whatever. Anything goes! The thing I haven't seen anyone mention yet is, what if the mane 6 hopped on a train back to Ponyville as soon as they got word that he was unwell - sooner than the wedding. Perhaps while they're gathered around his deathbed, changelings are successfully invading Canterlot, and Chrysalis is draining the love from Twilight's brother, and it's literally the beginning of the changeling apocalypse.

To answer your question, though, there are many reasons why to bring up the wedding. One was to let Dane actually experience being 'in the show' at least once before he kicked the bucket. (And to leave him just a tiny bit disappointed that spontaneous musical numbers don't exist in this world.) Another was to really cement Twilight's acceptance of Dane's existence and all that existential crap, and to tie up her thread in the plot, letting the reader know that she's starting to (reluctantly) move on. The next one is simply to get the mane 6 out of town for a while so Dane can have his stroke unattended. I also plot-convenienced-away Tyler as well. And hey, he's in the library. Who in Ponyville actually visits the library? I don't think we've EVER seen a book being checked out.

9772867
Is that why so many people downvoted my post?

9774418 That's a good question, I have no idea. There are a lot of haters though, I mean people who hate stories that get featured simply because they're envious. That'd be my best guess, anyhow.

It was quite the sad and abrupt end, but... I think it fit. Of course, I would have liked to see a more sappy, ambiguous ending where he gets to relive the seasons of the show and experience the little background events that were never seen or even just barely glanced at, being able to live for a few more years at least. However, it’s totally understandable that, due to his age, and the fact that they didn’t know too much about human biology in the first place, would push along his untimely demise.

I just kinda wish the ending wasn’t THAT depressing, though, especially with him blaming himself for the death of the fandom (almost as if it was an allegory for the end of the fandom in reality and the fears among the long time/lasting fans). I mean, personally, I don’t think a fandom could ever really die outright. It takes multiple generations to do that, and even then, as long as someone remembers and as long as someone has an interest in the old and sometimes forgotten, it’ll live on.

I digress. Good ending, just wish it wasn’t so gloomy.

9775006

almost as if it was an allegory for the end of the fandom in reality and the fears among the long time/lasting fans

*cough*
I was years ahead of the curve. I suppose it's appropriate that I should finally post the very allegorical ending now, when there are many fears for the mortality of the fandom. The thing is (and I'm thinking I haven't made it explicitly clear because most readers don't pick up on it) is that the moral of the story is that the fandom WILL die if the fans still standing keep it to themselves, and don't spread the good word of ponies. Dane got them all to rally behind something, but in private, and only amongst themselves.

Glad you liked the ending (glad you thought it was gloomy :pinkiecrazy:)

9775506 Well, now that show's about over, I don't have to wonder anymore where the story and worldbuilding will go... since it pretty much went nowhere interesting... and can go back to my 30-year plan to conquer the entire planet and establish a brutal galactic empire! :yay:

(Alondro didn't learn nuthin', he was right all along.) :ajsmug:

:pinkiecrazy:

9775506
well, there’s still his ex-employee that can carry on Dane’s love for them, though. He has been visiting as Time Turner/Dr. W, after all, and is kind of behaving like a new-fan: a tad shy and embarrassed that he likes something he never thought he would.

9775754 I'm happy that you picked up on that!

9775920
Yeah. Well, I mean, I BETTER have. I’m a longtime brony myself, and I’ve been in that position long ago. lol

¡Oh No! ¡Dane died! ¡Wait a minute!:

He is supposed to die in an accident, spilling blood into the mouths of ponies. The ponies are suppose to go cuckoo for human flesh, punch an hole into the universe of Dane, but without the temporal displacement and lead to "A Human for Ponies".

You have a Doctor who is a she. That should be a Doctrix.

9813155 god dammit Walabio :facehoof:

Here is an idea for a sequel. Tyler feeling that Danes death was unfair. He uses his life work to back in time to give Dane a chance to be in equestria. At a much younger age.(anonymously gifting the equations and equipment to him) following the multiverse theory which is a big part of the story it is possible to pull this of and still be cannon.

10191412 You know, I never really thought of that, which is weird because I like time travel and paradoxes like that. It's more of a love/hate relationship, I guess. I could absolutely do that, the only thing is that it would rob Dane of his most identifying character trait: being old. I'll definitely think about it, thanks!

Just asking, can't Celestia make him young again? Or at least cure his broken body? Just a random question.

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