It's Okay If You're Twins. And Sisters. And Hot.

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Comments ( 6 )

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concordion

concordion #1 · Sep 13th, 2021 · 1 · 2 ·

Super sexy. But I don't understand why they would've shut the club down. Did all the patrons go off for VIP sessions or something?

n3k1dsk1llz

n3k1dsk1llz #2 · Sep 13th, 2021 · · 1 ·

That was hot.

Not super realistic, but there's enough suspension of belief in your world building that climax of the story feels natural.

Bravo!

Shrinky Frod

Shrinky Frod #3 · Sep 17th, 2021 · · 1 ·

10975180
Probably last call and closing time if the staff left.

Sharonb

Sharonb #4 · Sep 22nd, 2021 · · 1 ·

The club shutting down ruined it for me but the premise was hot.

PonyDragon

PonyDragon #5 · Nov 7th, 2021 · · 1 ·

It's always exhilarating putting on clothing. As a society, we don’t wear much. Most days I trot around town with naught but a ribbon in my hair, and that tiny accessory is still more than the majority of the population wears. But putting something on means hiding parts of our anatomy, and revealing what’s hidden is a turn on for most stallions and even some mares. Part of the appeal is the costume choices; it allows ponies to fantasize.

That's actually a good explanation about the effects of clothing in a society where everyone is naked.

I open my eyes, but it takes effort. That’s when I see Cloudy’s slipping on the strap-on. Fuck. I forgot all about that.

Don't worry: Cloudy will make sure you'll never forget about it again.

I realize that it’s quieter than it was and look around. The club is empty except for the bouncers, bartender, the other dancers, and Thunderlane and Blossomforth, the latter of whom is sprawled over one of the tables as the former absolutely pounds her slutty slit.

Huh? That's unexpected.
(Except for the part with Thunerlane and Blossomforth.)
Why would anyone want to leave early during a show like this?

As much fun as the strap-on is, I’d forgotten what it feels like to have a real dicking.

Maybe Zecora knows a potion to help Cloudy with that...

dirty little secret

dirty little secret #6 · Last Monday · · ·

A great concept and a fun story … but a lot of it feels rushed and summarized — told instead of shown. Especially at the end. Trying to squeeze it into a contest word count limit?

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