E.Q.G. (extremely queer guesses)

by SevenEyes

2- Who

"Sorry Ma'am, but I'm only anly allowed to let element of harmony bearers pass beyond this point of the crystal castle." A pony spoke. The pony sounded like a pony and looked and acted like one to. The other was of two worlds. Little did speaky pony know this was the begining paragraph of chapter 2 of a fanfiction on a website being written by a *********************************.

"You know," a patient voice responded with a heightened performance of nonchalance, "I bet I could improve upon your technology there. Hmmm. What is that, an 'element of harmony bearer detector 600'? Why, I could upgrade it's effectiveness for you by quite a lot." An arrogant pause of a villain. "Perhaps even tenfold! Yes tenfold my little pony!! Tenfold!!!"

"Whoa, really? Just yesterday I had a dream where someone used the word tenfold. It was mid ya know?"

The mare smiled. Oh she knew, yes she knew that her foot. No, her hoof was in the door now. "It would just be oh so simple, and for someone on my talents and position to not help. But alas, you probably have all kind of regulations against a meer civilian inventor modifying your quaint little technology thing. A small almost inaudible but very visible sign escaped the mare. "So I should just be on my way, I guess and good day my pony for I shall be adhering to all law today and very regulation met with a smile."

"No regulations actually. The last guy in charge, now he was super big on regulations. But the new management system. Well they mostly just eat stuff, I think." The pony looked around now rather concerned,. It was as if management would suddenly eat them both. An odd creature this one. Or perhaps it had always been an odd world.

"Oh my," the mare said, trying to sound appropriately shocked at the news.

"Yeah so if you wanna change anything, tech or non-tech, that's fine. Great even. Please change a bling, make it Chang-a-ling!"

The mare didn't need to listen to what was probably more nonsense. They always went into nonsense after a while. Annoying. But there was a brilliant distraction afoot. She took ahold of the primitive detector, while assessing it's design she extended her magical aura to the nearby crystal walls. She found herself quickly engrossed in her work. She needed to be fast, yet precise with these materials.

It was well known, that every crystal in Equestria and beyond was made of salt. Yummy yummy, in my tummy, salt. What was much less well know, was that in the last two decades, leading scientists made a shocking discovery. There were at least six different kinds of salt!

The mare, who was creating a horrible light show with her green coloured magic, knew far far more than those 'leading scientists'. She knew that there are at least seven different kinds of salt.

With this knowledge she could crumble the very foundations of the planet. But why should she be so dramatic. After all she was a scholar of sorts, not a destroyer of salts.

The other pony seemed to not care for the distinction between the scholar and destroyer. Watching a wall tuned to tech activated a peer pressure response. So trying to coping the process just made sense.

"Yeah, forget the walls!"

"Please," the mare insisted harshly, "could you keep it down?"

The other pony was lost in a world of new potential, never before had the idea of hitting a wall come to mind. Right now though, that was the only though in the only tiny brain present.

Long after the 'element of harmony bearer detector 600' had been successful updated, the other pony would continue wall destroying. And enjoying it too. Regardless the small device would now acknowledge one very specific, non-element bearer, as an element bearer.

More importantly nopony knew the name (and threat level) of the mare now walking towards her goal.

She of course didn't need the device in this exact moment. Now that the pony who had been blocking her path, had found a much less 'blocking her path' way of being annoying. She kept the tool on her person regardless. To someone like herself the device could be of amazing use in the future.

And what a future it was looking to be. If the other ponies in this crystal castle, were anything like the one she had just got passed, then she'd won already. She almost felt like letting her guard down a little.

Almost.

A large brick flew across the hallway. Missing the mare entirely by several meters in each spacial dimension.

The mare turned fast to see nothing but shadows.

"Fuck!" A confident voice swore for some reason. Maybe they had lost a large brick recently? The mare trotted back the way she had come. Trying to find the mysterious cussing creature.

"Shitty shit-shit!" The voice continued.

"Ahem," the mare said to the sweary someone, "this is a swear free zone, so I'm going to politely ask you to-"

"To continue swearing right? Because it's FREE to swear here, as you just said." There was a brief pause then, "Gosh I'm so smart."

"You're deluded. Why, if you think you can sneak up on a element of harmony with that potty mouth, then you're dumber than you sound." The mare hoped that the profanity person that the voice belonged to couldn't read minds. She actually thought, the voice sounded rather smart, after all the mare knew smart when she heard it.

"Potty mouth? Just how old are you?"

"I'm er... 68. And you?"

"Oh, my dear pony. I'm so old, why I've lost count. Over 400, I suppose."

The mare knew of only two ponies, the royal pony sisters, who could be over 400 years old. "W- who are you?"

"My name is Sunset Shimmer, and this is my large brick." The brick from earlier zoomed back across the hallway. "And now that I've gracefully answered your question, your going to tell me everything about this newest alicorn."

The mare saw another mare step out from the shadows. She was like a campfire if it was less camp. A bonfire without the bon. The big star in the sky when obstructed by the earth. But perhaps most strikingly of all she carried a large brick in a magical green aura. An aura not unlike the mare's own green hued aura. It was quite the intimidating look.

"Mommy?" The intimidated mare whimpered.

"No, not mommy. I'm just your absolute greatest fear. And from here on this large brick is your second greatest fear, got it?"

The mare stared. Planned of vengeance completely forgotten. Now she was far more than just scared for her safety and future at this point. She had no real choice. She nodded, "Okay-"

"Hey girls you'll never believe it, but behind that wall back there, was, well it was another wall! Did we just build a bunch of walls one day or what? Like, why do that huh? Hey nice brick, looks a little large though. I wouldn't bother building anything wall-like with it, I'm feeling mighty trail blazing with my new anti-walls stance."

The pony from meer minutes ago had intruded their private conversation.

"Go away." Commanded Sunset Shimmer.

The pony left.

"Now if no one else is going to interrupt, I'm gonna interrogate you now, using just my large brick. So tell me, what is your name?"

"There are those who call me Chrysalis. But err you don't have to, unless you kinda want to, maybe?" The disguised changeling queen squeaked out.

"Well Chrysalis, your going to help make me a princess!" Sunset stated. She found it so funny that she smiled, grinned, chucked, then just full blown evil laughed in the face of the prey she had so easily caught tonight.

The face of Chrysalis was not a laughing one. Within the confines of her mind she was screaming, but she dared not make a sound right now. A new player had entered the game. And this player had a large brick. Perhaps the most dangerous brick in this world! No she was not going to laugh, she would have to try to survive this laughing unicorn.

Sunset was in complete control.

But her large brick was still kinda cool.

Comments

[Hey its that Pony]

I had completely forgotten about this story. But I'm down for the continuation of this goofy romp.