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Left 2 Die

Equestria is plagued with a disease that reanimates the dead bodies of ponies long dead soon the virus spreads through the land infecting everypony except some who are immune, the infection eventually mutates the infected into special versions giving them weird powers, follow two immune individuals as they try to survive the horror that is infected Equestria

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 3 )

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FoughtDragon01

FoughtDragon01 #1 · Sep 4th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 ·

For the most part, the story is off to a decent start, though there are a few things you should keep in mind:

You seem to write some of your dialogue as "Blah, blah, blah." He/She said. Unless you're starting a new sentence after that dialogue, it should look like, "Blah, blah, blah." he/she said. Programs such as Microsoft Word have a habit of automatically capitalizing the first letter of new sentences, so it's understandable if that slips by a few times.

I also suggest giving your story another read through. There were several other capitalization errors, such as 'zecora' instead of 'Zecora', and 'los pegasus' instead of 'Las Pegasus', as well as a few grammatical errors and a few awkward phrasings.

One last thing that I noticed:

A loud roar filled the silence as the three sat in the alley.

...Silver was leading the trio with her katana cutting through the swarming infected in the front of them.

As far as I can tell, there are only two ponies, Silver and Dex (sometimes called 'Dexy'), but you then say that there are three. If you rewrote this story, then that's something I understand, but you should still rework that.

Like I said, you should read your story again and work out all of the kinks. Do that, and I'll look forward to seeing where this story goes.

Bronyhood of steel