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How Gummy Lost His Teeth

One day long ago, before Gummy had met Pinkie Pie, he was called Toothy, and always liked to eat sweets like cupcakes, caramels, candies, ice cream, and no vegetables at all, none! Gummy was a bad alligator, and never brushed his teeth, so when he ate all of the sweets, he got lots of cavities! Gummy did not care, but he had eaten all of the sweets in the city, so he needed to find more. So the sweet adventure began. He started at his home in Froggy Bottom Bog, and made his way through the Everfree Forest to a strange castle. There were no sweets there, so he continued on. After some further traveling, Gummy came across a small hut. A zebra lived there, but she had no sweets and only spoke in confusing riddles, so he moved on. There was a town in the distance, so he decided to try there. He came across a town called ponyville and met a little filly named Pinkie Pie. She made lots of his favorite sweets and he ate them all. In fact, her signature cupcakes were all that he ever ate! With extra sprinkles and chocolate syrup on top, of course. But one day his cavities got so bad that his teeth fell out! Poor gummy, he was starting to have such a great smile, but it is ruined because of his mistake. Now he can't safely eat sweets anymore due to extreme sensitivity of the exposed nerve endings, so always brush your teeth, or you could end up like Gummy! Not wanting him to be sad, Pinkie Pie adopted Gummy as a pet and cared for him very well. He now lives happily, but not without regret. If only he had listened to his mom so long ago.

Fin.

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Comments ( 13 )

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Dashamena

Dashamena #1 · Dec 21st, 2011 · 1 · ·

Hehe. I'm guessing you didn't have much time for this fanfiction. Maybe for your next one you could add a little more?

Isolation

Isolation #2 · Dec 21st, 2011 · 1 · ·

poor gummy...

thewaffler

thewaffler #3 · Dec 21st, 2011 · 1 · ·

Short, Sweet and innocent. There's no grammar errors that I can see and it tells a complete story. Normally I'd complain about length...but since this more in tune with a Captain Planet PSA I won't hold it's length against it. This worth at least 4 stars. The only way some really can complain about this is it's length and content; however, those two points are only indicative of personal preference. So, in short this fic is good and may future writing project go well for you sir or ma'am.

On a side not I think it is important fellow reviewers try to leave amicable comments seeing as your new here as once we all were and we at one point.

Peace Out and good luck.

Chill Mists(Chilly)

Chill Mists(Chilly) #4 · Dec 21st, 2011 · · ·

That was a lot better than it should have been. For some reason I enjoyed reading this. Good job I guess.

#5 · Dec 21st, 2011 · · ·

79436 Agreed.

CharginChuck

CharginChuck #6 · Dec 21st, 2011 · 1 · ·

....And knowing is half the battle.

Sympathetic Zombie

Sympathetic Zombie #7 · Dec 21st, 2011 · 1 · ·

79403 Correct, I did not have a lot of time to write this, but I will write more serious stuff in the future!

79432 Thank you, and I am male by the way.

79436 Thanks!

PinkieIsMahWaifu

PinkieIsMahWaifu #8 · Dec 21st, 2011 · · ·

D'awwww. This is cute

Phil Srobeighn

Phil Srobeighn #9 · Dec 22nd, 2011 · · ·

If I had any talent in drawing, I would illustrate this as a children's book. When I saw the length, I just pictured a teacher sitting down with first graders with this story as a big storybook. It totally works.

Sympathetic Zombie