How Gummy Lost His Teeth

Gummy eats too much sugar and never brushes his teeth, what will happen when he meets Pinkie Pie? My first fic, please be kind with criticism.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 13 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 13
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Dashamena

Dashamena #1 · Dec 21st, 2011 · 1 · ·

Hehe. I'm guessing you didn't have much time for this fanfiction. Maybe for your next one you could add a little more?

Isolation

Isolation #2 · Dec 21st, 2011 · 1 · ·

poor gummy...

thewaffler

thewaffler #3 · Dec 21st, 2011 · 1 · ·

Short, Sweet and innocent. There's no grammar errors that I can see and it tells a complete story. Normally I'd complain about length...but since this more in tune with a Captain Planet PSA I won't hold it's length against it. This worth at least 4 stars. The only way some really can complain about this is it's length and content; however, those two points are only indicative of personal preference. So, in short this fic is good and may future writing project go well for you sir or ma'am.

On a side not I think it is important fellow reviewers try to leave amicable comments seeing as your new here as once we all were and we at one point.

Peace Out and good luck.

Chill Mists(Chilly)

Chill Mists(Chilly) #4 · Dec 21st, 2011 · · ·

That was a lot better than it should have been. For some reason I enjoyed reading this. Good job I guess.

#5 · Dec 21st, 2011 · · ·

79436 Agreed.

CharginChuck

CharginChuck #6 · Dec 21st, 2011 · 1 · ·

....And knowing is half the battle.

Sympathetic Zombie

Sympathetic Zombie #7 · Dec 21st, 2011 · 1 · ·

79403 Correct, I did not have a lot of time to write this, but I will write more serious stuff in the future!

79432 Thank you, and I am male by the way.

79436 Thanks!

PinkieIsMahWaifu

PinkieIsMahWaifu #8 · Dec 21st, 2011 · · ·

D'awwww. This is cute

Phil Srobeighn

Phil Srobeighn #9 · Dec 22nd, 2011 · · ·

If I had any talent in drawing, I would illustrate this as a children's book. When I saw the length, I just pictured a teacher sitting down with first graders with this story as a big storybook. It totally works.

Sympathetic Zombie