King Thorax loved his little changelings.
Ever since he plotted a coup to keep his old queen Chrysalis from invading Canterlot during the biggest wedding in pony history, he took care of them by following the same principle Celestia and Luna set for their subjects. However, not everything is all nice and peachy. Facing down eventual extinction, he calls in the Element Bearers and their sisters to help.
These are their stories...
Story requested by Chazkopa, image author is linked to the picture
Chapters (2)
the chest gems denote a male changeling, you may wana have the tittle card redone to correct that little error
10714500
What part of the title card?
10714500
They don't. Sometimes it's true that a male has chest gems and that a female doesn't, but remember the feelings forum leader and the drone who sometimes felt like a blue changeling and sometimes like a purple changeling? Both female, and both had chest gems. Then there's one who complained about a hot soup - a male without have chest gems. Ocellus' dad also doesn't have chest gems and her mom does. It's entirely random
Sweet. I like that Thorax warn Shining Armor and Cadance about the queen's plans.
And it's Cadance.
10714516
your makeing alot of gender assumptive leaps when those characters arnt ever refered to by gender, the only charicters we know for SURE the gender of are thorax, pharanx, and oselus...gems...gems...no gems male male female.
10714509
the cmc are female so they shouldnt have chest gems...though some ponies it seems disagree with that assesment
10714747
First, three individuals are too small a sample to make conclusions about an entire species. Two, listen to how their voices sound. Every MLP character of known/confirmed gender, regardless of species, has a voice that matches their gender and I don't see the reason why background changelings should be any different. Third, some species don't have sexual dimorphism and changelings could be one of those species. If all that isn't enough for you, I'm pretty sure Ocellus' dad (who doesn't have chest gems) was referred to as 'dad changeling' or something like that in the credits of an episode where he speaks.
10714748
10714769
I was simply given the image and link by the requester, no need to have a full blown argument over the creater's preferred art style...
10714748 10714769 10714783
Further, this fic's clearly an AU...so it's not like it has to be constrained by pure show canon anyway and is instead free to fudge details as it wishes as it wants/needs to in order to tell the story.
(Though for the record, Owtcast is right--we have enough samples of changelings speaking to be reasonably sure of their genders and can determine there really is no consistency on what genders have the chest gems or not, enough that assuming it really is determined by gender is probably unwise with the scant little evidence we have to back it up. At the very least, the show's staff clearly didn't seem to have any "rules" on who could have them or not. Personally, I would argue the "gems" are probably more of a tribal-esque trait than a gender one, seeing there are clear tribal distinctions among reformed changelings, e.g. some don't have horns while others do, but that's my take on it.)
Uuuuh... Shining, is there anything you wanted to share?
10715760
Oops... I dropped a ball or two there...
Filed under: the real reason the Canterlot invasion was doomed from the start.
10729469
XD
10715812
No more than a pair at least.
Nice. I'm glad Chrysalis plan has stooped. Thorax had a good point.
But where's Shining Armor?.
Alright, this fic went from 0 to 100 real fast. Holy smokes dude, the previous chapter did nothing to prepare me for this.
Are you trying to make people uncomfortable with those descriptions, cause it sure is working on me.
Well this is new. I'm gonna be honest here, you probably should have found a better way to write about Shiner's situation, cause I missed it completely and was just about ready to start cracking jokes about inconsistency and rule 63. And I'm still not sure what's happening here. Is shiner closeted trans? Did he actually get changed into a mare? Was it a spell, a surgery or what?
Pretty sure that's not how nerve damage works, but whatever. Convenient childhood injuries are convenient.
Wat. Weren't they both mares? And even if not, wasn't Shining/Gleaming the stallion here? I'm greatly confused about the logistics at play here.
And that apparently works as mind control protection. Alright then?
"You are our prisoner Chrysalis. As your punishment report to my bedroom, we'll bang, okay?"
But seriously, this is weird. Cady and Gleaming are suddenly really chill with banging someone who just tried to kidnap them. And I don't think there is consent on Chrysalis's part in this whole affair. Make of that what you will.
10810064
This whole chapter only had 1 purpose:
Get Chrysalis out and Thorax in control
Next chapter is a timeskip
Those sound like very interesting marriages indeed.
Not gonna lie--I'm struggling to take the sudden...reveals...about Shining seriously, because it's all a little too on the nose, y'know? I honestly flat-out laughed around the bit about the nerve damage, in fact, because by that point Shining was feeling a bit too cliche. I mean, you don't totally cross that line, but you still get close enough to it that warning bells start going off regardless. It's a good thing Shining's not your leading character or else this could've potentially caused problems moving forward in the story. In any case, your choice of timing of when to reveal these details is rather poor--you probably would've been better off establishing this from the start rather than so abruptly more than a chapter in, and leaving it feeling so after the fact, too.
And then while the reader's still trying to process that, you're also dropping all of these other twists on top of it and suddenly it seems like there's a bit too much to sort through all at once, and not always well justified or at least well explained with the details given...it makes the chapter feel a bit jumbled and incoherent, not gonna lie. I know it's all prologue so you're probably more interested in just hurrying through it so to get into the real story, but that might actually be precisely the problem--it might have been a bit more to your benefit to have taken this all a bit slower and taken the time to get a little more in depth about some of the points presented here, if just to make it clear to the reader what's going on and what points they should be keeping in mind while reading.
Also, I feel you're maybe pushing it just a bit with the level of innuendos for a T rated story--there were parts that were starting to feel enough like the opening to a porn fic that I felt obligated to stop and double check the fic hadn't been bumped up to an M rating since the last time I looked at it. Of course, I openly admit that am more...prudish...about these subjects than some of my peers, so take my thoughts on this how you will. Regardless, I feel like it's still worth pointing out.
Fortunately though, none of this is really story-breaking just yet, and the fic's still largely achieving what it needs to, these particular points aside (which are stumbling blocks worth addressing but not enough to kill the story just yet). I'm curious to see how this'll tie in with the advertised premise with the CMC enough that I'll probably keep following this fic for now, so you have that.
10810243
Doesn't matter, even filler chapters like that should be good quality. Especially this early in the story, because first impressions matter. If this represents the general tone and quality of the story going forward, I don't have a lot of hope for this fic. It's jumbled, at times unnecessarily drawn out (did we really need that much time seeing Chrysalis and Shiner flirt before the conspirators jumped the bug?), in other places things that could use a bit more attention get glossed over (I still have no clue what exactly is the gender situation in Cadance and Shining's relationship). It goes in some really strange directions, and I agree with Scyphi that there are way too many innuendos, and they are way too much on the nose. I don't mind the occasional dirty joke, but the very end of the chapter reads like a borderline clopfic, from the lines delivered, to Chrysalis's whole punishment being getting laid.
And while we're at it, can I get some clarification? I really got the impression Chrysalis does not want to participate in this affair. Is Equestrian law different on the matter, because I'm pretty sure forcing her into it would count as rape here on Earth. Not to mention that what Cadance is doing here is dangling a buffet in front of a starving person, as Chrysalis helpfully pointed out. This feels very wrong coming from Cadance, she's supposed to be merciful and kind. This shit is just cruel.
I hope you can improve going forward. I'm not gonna jump ship just yet, but if this chapter is representative of the story going forwards, I'm not sure how long I'll stick around.
Heh, ever feel like you're reading a major climactic conclusion of four plotlines but it's only the second chapter? This is that vibe. 😂
There's a heck of a lot of stuff to unpack but hey, if it's just to set the table whatever, we suppose.
10810572
Main reason that Chrysalis doesn't want to participate is because of her ego. She is extremely prideful, but as the next chapter will touch on as I get into the main focus of the story involving Spike and the CMC, she has a major change of heart in the time between this chapter and next
10810795
The Last chapter is that Shining armor appeared, And now Gleaming Shield, what's going on?.
This story had a good potential, especially if it turned a little darker.
10810795
I think it's better if it's actually "changelings are slowly withering away as they depleted their own life force, because sharing love mean no energy intake to the system and only spending out.
Drama, Suffering, adn more Drama.
Little comedy here and there.