Apple Bloom gets even from an encounter with a bully.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 20th Apr, 2012
- offline last seen Sunday
jmj
All that I touch seems to break in my hands, then it just bursts into flames.
jmj
Joined 20th Apr, 2012 ·
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Poor Apple Bloom.
I'm still not quite sure who Mr. Crunchy is, other than maybe a figment of Apple Bloom's imagination. I kinda wish Mr. Crunchy were a physical being that could go out and seek revenge on Diamond Tiara (on Apple Bloom's behalf).
It's very frightening to see how much power Diamond Tiara and her family have over the rest of Ponyville. Money talks. Though from purely a business side, there is a very high demand for Apple Family products, such as Zap Apple Jam and cider. Even if the Rich family stopped buying from them, plenty of other ponies would be lining up to buy--the Apple family would by no means go bankrupt. Perhaps in this AU, the circumstances are different.
10612499
Thanks for the comment.
You can choose what you want to believe for Mr. Crunchy. That's open for interpretation.
Business is as business does. There's demand but I figure he could just buy from somewhere else, cut the price low enough to shut down the Apples, buy their land for cheap, and make up whatever he lost in a few years.
Something similar is happening to my hometown. The people with money are buying all of the land and then charging a fortune for rent, etc.
Either Mr. Crunchy is Apple Bloom's imaginary friend/alternate personality, or the being on the picture.
Or both.
What a tasty treat!
10612548
Thanks for the comment. Mr. Crunchy went to visit DT. Or was it Bloom who did that?
10612579
Thanks, Dobes!
Mm
Heh. I like this Mr. Crunchy guy.
Thank you for this story. It's exactly my fantasies from when I was in school and mercilessly bullied.
10613172
Are you secretly Mr. Crunchy, Mena?
10613231
Sounds awful. I had a friend who had something like 34 fights in middle school because he was bullied so much. Fighting doesn't always solve the issue.
That said, he got really good at brawling.
10612519
That stinks.
10613379
Mom forbid me from fighting, so bullies had free makiwara. They had so much fun! I think. And I had, and still have, so much hatered, that it could be used to poison someone instead of Novichok.
10613449
Sucks. No excuse for that kind of stuff.
My buddy was so conditioned to people talking about his mom and then fighting over it that his first day of high school was...
Some guy, "Oh, yeah. I think I might know your mom. "
*friend punches random guy who really knew his mom and was trying to be nice. Gets suspended. *
*
10613376
I could be.
For some reason, I really liked this line. I don't know why, but it stood out to me.
Nice work, J.
10613760
Thanks, sir. I liked that line too. Always good to hear from you.
So instead'a Death Note, we got Death Bedfellows.
Nice.
Mr. Crunchy is a true homie
Gonna be honest... No buildup spooky-friend what kills the mean pony does not do it for me. Its like I enjoy the first half, with cruel as shit DT and people all looking the other way, but how we deal with it is so...boring. So very boring and unsatisfying.
10617762
Thanks for the read and comment.
I see where you are coming from on this. this story is quick and lacking in a build of tension. Mr. Crunchy just appears with no real lead in but that's sort of the point. He's familiar to Apple Bloom so she doesn't give him a lot of excess thought. Because of the limited perspective, we only know Apple Bloom's thoughts and she isn't frightened by Crunchy because he has proven not be dangerous to her and she's preoccupied with the events of the day. The monster isn't the monster here, it's Apple Bloom. She has very little struggle with the decision to have DT murdered by this unseen thing and then has no guilt about it.
But, I completely get it. It sort of just ends and the interesting, unknown thing is not explored. It's definitely not my favorite story but it's performing better than the ones that I put literally 100's of hours of thought into or others with character development and world building. And that makes me very sad.
Again, though, thanks for the read and comment. I appreciate the feedback.
Not too shabby if I say so myself. Is adds to the creep factor that Bloom is so familiar with Mr. Crunchy she knows to block the light and so little is explained. Is it Apple Bloom with a split personality is it a legitimate monster I like it great short!
Well looks like poor apple bloom met with a very strong bully. Not too shabby if I say so myself. It adds to the creep factor that Bloom is so familiar with ghost rider.
www.myaarpmedicare.com
10619282
It's ambiguous intentionally. Maybe there's a monster or maybe apple bloom does things she rationalizes as a monster. Up to the reader.
Thanks for the read and comment.
10619587
That's what I was saying the fact that Apple Bloom is familiar with Mr.Crunchy but we aren't, the not knowing, thats what makes it creepy lol. And it was well written really enjoyed it. Sorry if I worded it odd the first time. That's what I was trying to say
10619589
Np! Thanks!
10612625
Well, I do think that the fate of DT was no dream. But I do think that Mr. Crunchy is a piece of Apple Bloom's psyche. There are two perpetrators of violence in this story, and I fear one a lot more then I do the other.
I'm not criticizing Mr. Crunchy when I say I don't fear him, since I see him the way Apple Bloom does. He's definitely foreign and when his wrath is provoked it's truly not pretty, but at the same time you can't escape the sense that if Diamond Tiara hadn't pointlessly brutalized Apple Bloom, then Mr. Crunchy would have been quite content to sit under her bed, eat her Apple gifts.
So this is going off of the interpretation that Mr. Crunchy is actually a piece of Apple Bloom's psyche. Since he's been there for as long as she can remember, this probably means that he's a normal piece of the psyche-Apple Bloom's self-care and self-love and the initiative to protect herself. Apple Bloom "feeding" it is just her being alive and being herself-if Mr. Crunchy were solely rage incarnate, then Apple Bloom 'feeding' him would have been when she was upset.
So if Apple Bloom was just so broken that she sleepwalked to DT's house and beat her to a pulp, I would be upset but I wouldn't be afraid of a hurt little girl. And I don't fear Mr. Crunchy.
Diamond Tiara...the power her family holds, as another commenter mentioned...the scope of her temper tantrum...
yikes.
10619778
What a wonderful analysis. Thank you for reading and explaining your line of thought into the story. I'm very happy that it was interesting enough to make you think and weigh what was real versus what was not. I wish more people would look more deeply into my stories and see the picture behind what is presented.
Your interpretation is very good and I'm happy to have heard it.
I like this, I'm not sure if I could say I actually found the story creepy per-say. But that's no fault of anybody but myself, I like my dark material exceptionally dark lmao. I like Mr. Crunchy, something about the way he/it is written just kinda sticks with me. Like it's really appropriate and I could practically hear (my own interpretation of course) his voice when reading his dialogue. The pacing is pretty good too for something that was written in a spur of the moment kinda deal.
It's definitely an interesting question of whether or not he's real and if he isn't, what role he might play to Applebloom either way. I'm not sure myself honestly where I fall with that, I kinda like the idea of a protective monster living under ABs bed, willing to gobble up ponies who harm her. It has some horrific implications, she is a filly after all, maybe she tells Mr. Crunchy about a bad argument w/ one of her friends one night and he hurts/kills them. Though if he does live under her bed he's probably at least a little familiar with whose been good to her/who her friends and family are so.. Who knows?
Though if he isn't real she might have to face that reality that Diamond Tiara wasn't brought to any physical harm, and that's also interesting to think about.. I wonder how she might try and rationalize that.
If he is an alter there is a small possibility of him "switching" in and going to beat the shit outta Diamond Tiara. Normally I'm very against interpretations of system alters being violent (I have a dissociative disorder related to DID, DDNOS), but usually in media the violent alter in question is going directly against the host/the rest of the system. Which is super unrealistic even with strong amnesia barriers present. But in this case AB is literally giving him the greenlight lol. Her overall hatred of Diamond Tiara would also mean that once Mr. Crunchy switched in, there's also no real reason for him to stop. On the flip side, this means that unlike if he were a real monster, she probably couldn't just lash out and kill someone she cares about. They share a body and a mind, even with amnesia barriers present Mr. Crunchy would definitely know that somepony like Sweetie Belle doesn't really deserve to be beaten up, or at the very least it's extremely unlikely he would kill somepony like her. If nothing else AB is more likely to switch back in because the moral conflict is far far greater than with DT. You can kinda think of it as like, that barrier we have in our brains that prevents us from biting our fingers off or something. Theoretically we can, but our brains just won't let us, usually ppl need to be pretty intoxicated and crazy to do stuff like that. Most system persecutors/avengers (who are the ones most likely to want to be violent) can tell you if they try to do anything too extreme or against the rest of the system they just get thrown out of "front" (basically another alter/the host switches in and takes control of the body).
Whether or not in this scenario Diamond Tiara actually dies is kinda up in the air. Obviously like AB's body probably doesn't have the strength to literally tear her apart, but she does apple buck and can break bones for sure (even in a weakened state she's almost definitely stronger than DT). People die from being punched in the head the right way, so it's possible Mr. Crunchy does wind up ending Diamond Tiara's life. One swift kick to the head in the right place is really all it would take, or hell just suffocate her w/ a pillow.
I wonder how AB would feel waking up the next day after that and learning that she's actually dead? That would be a hell of a trip, regardless of whether or not it was her body that carried out the deed. She probably would never really realize, given her injuries if she wakes up sore/covered with blood she might just think she had a wicked bad nosebleed during the night lmao. Well, at least she won't have to worry about her being a brat anymore
.
.
.
Anyways I'm rambling. Good story mate! Love me stories that have loads of ways to interpret it, i'll be remembering this one for awhile.
Edit: Holy crap that's more of an essay than I realized, uuhhh...
DL;DR: If he's real that would b cool but also way too much power for a filly to have. If he isn't and DT doesn't die/come to harm it would be interesting to see AB cope. If he's an alter maybe it could still happen since AB hates DT so much, but I doubt he could harm anypony she truly cares abt b/c that's not how being a system works usually. I like this story 10/10.
10622495
Sorry for the late reply, I had company for the last 3 days.
There are many possibilities regarding the legitimacy of Mr. Crunchy and the effects upon which it being real/unreal could resolve. While I love the simple story of a 'friendly' monster under the bed, the repercussions of it being Apple Bloom's damaged psyche is a lot of fun to explore. Thank you for the read and comment. I appreciate it and loved your comment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGshaHOgsC8
Liked this story a lot, I did a reading of it.
Might be alone here, but I interpreted the last line of the story to be referring to Apple Bloom rather than Diamond Tiara. I know that DT is a bitch but she's just a kid, not a monster. If anything, Apple Bloom, who smiles and falls softly to sleep after knowing she caused the imminent death of another kid is more 'monster' like.
10626654
Thanks! I'll PM you.
10/10, and also I remembered why I don't read horror stories. Great fic, though. Respect.
10627682
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.
Awesome story, I love a good grimdark! I did a reading of this story, here's a link if you wanna check it out:
https://youtu.be/4BtqyeyzCZg
10653010
Thanks! It was a really good reading! I'll post a blog about it!
Good old Mr. Crunchy. What a pal! ^W^
10761488
He really is the best.
One thought are the repercussions of this what if Rich blames Apple Bloom for this or somebody at Sweet Apple acres.
After all diamond tiara did provoke AB so he could use that against her.
All in all there are reasons to worry about what happens now that Rich has lost his daughter.
10626654 In this case, DT was most definitely a monster, assaulting someone for saying something mean.
The premise falls flat though. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo would never leave Apple Bloom alone after a fight like that, and if it did come to a straight up fight, Apple Bloom should have been able to paste DT. Yes, DT is an earth-pony, but so is Apple Bloom, and she does a lot more excercise with her farm work and chores. Diamond Tiara has her butler do everything.
10858101
Interesting take. I do like your fight breakdown and agree with you assessment of physical attributes. I also think the normal DT would crumble under a direct assault as she's not as mentally tough as backed by years of feeling superior due to financial status. You may be interested in Hard As Diamond where Diamond competes in MMA.
And my stories don't tend to follow canon especially well. There's no fun in it for me when you can show the sickly underside of pony society or a grim mirror of what we know and love.
This speaks to my darkness
10883737
Lol. I am very happy to hear that. Horror stories are my favorite short fiction and I'm always happy when someone enjoys what I've written.
From the two titles and the cover, I expected Apple Bloom to give Diamond Tiara an apple with glass hidden inside.
I was way off, lol. This was great, no plot holes or anything because all of the reasoning felt so natural to the characters and the situation.
10941139
Thanks for reading and commenting. Glad you enjoyed the story.
I’m willing to bet business will pick up for the Apples after this. Seeing the remains of DT is probably going to drive Filthy into developing a severe cider addiction.
I love you, Mr. Crunchy.
Mr. Crunchy spin-off series, when?
11006286
Lol. His name is Mr. Crunchy he goes Crunch in the night! Thanks for the read and comment. I'm happy you enjoyed it.
11012711
Oh, nice! thanks for letting me know. It's a good reading.
11185030
Thank you once again for doing a reading. It was spectacular.