- Member Since 17th Apr, 2017
- offline last seen March 20th
NinjaMare
Welcome to main page readers! my name is Floral Essence (aka NinjaMare), and here you will find mostly HiE fics, among other kinds of fics. hopefully you all enjoy what I have to offer.
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Now this should be interesting
already half way final drafting Ch.1. should be uploaded soon.
Nice start to introducing the story and how the monsters actually some to be of why we usually see one of these at a time (I think, correct me if I'm wrong with my assumption) for example the ursa major/minor or one hydra. All of the to introduce a new being to the world of Equestria.
interesting start, I'll definitely be tracking it.
P.S. isn't Oroshi on the cover? If this is him then why do we need to duplicate his image in the story? I certainly have nothing against it, I just spent about 8 minutes comparing images.
10591401
I tried to show what an Oroshi would look like in a more cartoon like appearance, then its realistic style from the Cover Image. like, how entering the universe of MLP: FiM G4 changes organisms to fit its style of reality. like how when a live human changes when they get sucked into animated universe to look like they fit in more, than be a clashing image against the setting.
The intro was nice I'm looking forward to the next chapter
This looks very promising and it's a good start, looking forward to seeing this story play out.
10591468
i'm glad you approve. hopefully this project keeps you intrigued.
You have multiple places where the plural of kirin is "Kirin's" as if it were possessive, not multiple. SHould be "Kirins"
Likewise, 'your' instead of 'you're' (for you are).
Good start, but needs editing.
10591526
strange i thought i fixed them all. thanks for the catch.
Is he going and Elemental user because doesn't he use lightning in Monster Hunter
Human tag?
10591625
At the beginning of the story
I'm curious if they will mistake him for a windego. The magnitude of the cold being generated along with the strange appearance of the ED would give that impression .
“large pillars f ice” There is something missing here. Interesting premise so far... on to the next chapter.
10591588
Oroshi Kirin is a subspecies that uses ice instead of lightning.
A good start to a interesting story so far. I'm looking forward towards seeing what direction you take it.
What are the chances of another story about an Oroshi Kirin being uploaded on the same day as mine? Haha, that's amazing, I'll certainly give your story a read, fellow hunter
Ooh the girls have no idea what they're facing.welp this will be a fun reading😈😈😈😈
secretly ships Oroshi x Zecora
Let me guess: The Oroshi Kirin has a second form called an Nirik Ihsoro.
Congratz, ya got featured. 12/21/2020
They've seen apple cores. That's mighty stupid. Why anyone would eat apple and not eat its core, especially if that someone is wild? If animals eat bananas with their peel, why left apple core that tastes exactly like rest of apple?
...oof.
Not a bad start
Oroshi kirin is only really threatened by other elder dragons rajang and some exceptional hunters. So i got know idea what twilight is gonna do to him
10592465
The chemicals found in the seeds of certain fruits can be poisonous to certain animals. I can’t remember which animal in particular but I remember reading that they could eat apples, but the seeds are poisonous to them.
Naturally, most animals don’t know this and will eat anyway ‘cause as you said, apple is apple (though to be fair, the core of the apple does not taste like the rest of the apple as you say. It tastes different and has a different texture the closer you get to the seeds themselves). But this is an intelligent animal.
I’m personally hesitant to read this story due the spelling errors prevalent in the descriptions (both short and long). Hopefully such errors aren’t as prevalent in the chapters themselves, but if they are might I recommend looking into a proofreader? Or perhaps using an autocorrect to go through your story, I.e. Grammarly?
10592851
Intelligent person would use their intelligence to do most unexpected thing about apple core - to not chew seeds and blades of their cell. Which is less than 5% of mass of (cartoonish) apple core, if not 1%.
Oroshi Kirin?
AT Velkhana was bad enough!
10591625
for the hunters.
10591588
the normal Kirin uses lightning, while the Oroshi sub-species uses ice.
10591933
odds.....1 out of 100, give or take. and i to look forward to read your own Oroshi fic fellow hunter. cause seriously, this subspecies never gets any love.
10592839
while Twilight is a tough pony, when it comes to terms of Monsters from the MH universe, she'll probably be no more than a........3 or 4 Star Threat Lv. monster, at bare minimum. mostly because ponies are a peaceful and passive species, who rarely engage in any kind of violence other monsters are. so yeah, Oroshi would probably feel more annoyed by Twilight than anything else, like with the Manticore and Cragadile.
10593025
A neat conflict would be a rajang fighting him
10593028
oh trust me......(Wicked smile).....i have plans for a Rajang to be in the picture, just, not a typical one.😈
10593018
I know right!? And thanks ^_^
10593044
hey i wanna run something by you since your also making a Oroshi fic. now originally i was only going to have the hunters be a 1-time cameo, but what do you think if they make a few more appearances? i'm juggling with the idea, but i think it might just jumble up the story overall. what do you think?
10593032
Sounds fun
10593060
It really depends on your own preference, if they are to appear more often than just a one-off maybe give a logical reason for this (I have to first read your story to get an idea of this world’s quirks). Maybe build upon some history of hunters previously appearing in equestria, like I said it’s however you intend to build upon your world
10593032
So, we are talking about the Furious variant of Rajang? Or something new and worse?
Another story that intrigues me!
Reminds me of a door that appears in many locations, but with one exit destination, once you step through one of the various entrances of said door, you can't exit back out - a one-way doorway.
Just your usual elder dragon trying to eat some apples... nothing out of the ordinary.
Okay, now that I've read this... I like it, an excellent fight, and from how you gave a sense of reason for the many strange events and creatures that exist within the Everfree, that is they may have come from other worlds via time-space displacement, it makes sense. Welp, I'm not disappointed, on to the next chapter o7
Okay, now that I have the gist of what's going down in the pony world I can safely say this is about to go south like when my friend thought he could tank Fatalis' fire nova with a shield. Joke aside, I like reading how the Kirin's taking in all these new things and places without realizing it now has the ability to both speak and possibly more given its location.
As for my previous response to your question; I can now see the possibility of those Hunters traveling to Equestria, a Hunter's curiosity would naturally lead them possibly to the rift convergence in the Old World that yoinked the Kirin. As I said before if you were to integrate them or others more often in future events how you handle that would be entirely dependant on whether or not they're to be an important piece to the Oroshi Kirin's story or if they're just around for a short while.
Good work all the same
Im liking how its starting. One suggestion i have is you seem to use 'monster' alot to describe things, a few times in the same sentence.
But as the monster stepped ever closer to the corner, something happened to the monster
I would try to mix up your wording once in a while so it doesnt seem as repedative. Use elder dragon, oroshi, horned equine etc
10593330
something i came up with some time ago about a Rajang subspecies or variant
10594644
i noticed that after i posted the last ch. so i'll try to vary it up a bit more.