The Love I Left Behind
The Love I Left Behind
Faint thumping noises echoed over the apple family orchard; the sun had barely risen, bathing only small part of the farm in sunlight. Over in the furthest field, an orange mare with a Stetson resting on her head wandered between the trees, chucking huge baskets filled with apples in place.
“Woo-ee! What a fine way to wake up.”
Applejack looked towards the edge of the farm; she squinted as the sun slowly rose up over the mountains. Tilting her Stetson down, she grinned as she put a small strand of straw in her mouth.
“Today’s gonna’ be a great day.”
Her ears perked up; from a distance, she could hear a voice calling her. Followed by playful barks heading towards her. She smiled as she spotted a brown dot leaping between the trees on its way towards her.
Applejack kneeled down, opening her hooves to welcome a small brown ball of fur. Enclosing her forelegs around Winona, she was met by a barrage of licks to her face. Laughing, she tipped over, still holding Winona in her hooves.
Gently patting Winona on the head, she smiled. “Breakfast already, is it?”
The tall grass gently brushed her sides; small butterflies flew up from their disturbed sleep. Birds sitting the branches let out short chirps to welcome the sun. The field closer to the house still bathed in shadow; while Applejack shifted through, her hooves squelched and slid as they track through the grass.
Entering the kitchen, she was met with a delicious mixture of smells. Her stomach growled as she lay eyes on the table, it was covered in a huge variety of food, filled right to the edges with hay-sandwiches, gently placed apple-pies, plates covered with eggs and soft green grass.
“Woah, Applebloom, you’ve really outdone yourself this mornin’.”
“Thanks, sis! Who knows, I might get my cutie-mark as a chef!”
Chuckling, Applejack sat down. “A wouldn’t mind that! This looks delicious.”
She reached out for a hay-sandwich, stopping as she saw that nopony sat in the chair opposite her.
Lifting up a sandwich, she turned towards Applebloom. “Where’s Big Macintosh? That big lump never misses breakfast.”
Placing another plate on the table, Applebloom smiled. “He was up all night fixin’ our fence, so I thought I might let’im sleep a little longer today.”
Blurting out as she chewed. “Thab wad mighdy kind of yeh.”
Applebloom raised an eyebrow, tossing a napkin towards her sister. “Didn’t Ma and Pa teach you not to talk with your mouth full?”
Swallowing, she smiled and wiped her mouth, blinking towards Applebloom. ”Yeah, they did, but what they don’t know, won't hurt ‘em.”
Applebloom chuckled as she leaned over towards an apple pie. “Yeah, you’re right, sis.” She stared at her plate as her smile faded. “Sis... when do you think Ma and Pa’ll come home?”
A creaking sound could be heard as Applejack stood up; putting on her Stetson, she smiled towards Applebloom. “I don’ know, but I do know that they’ll come home as soon as they can. Til then, we gotta’ do our best to take care o’the farm.” She leaned forwards, giving Applebloom a small peck on the forehead. “Thank you kindly for the food, Applebloom. But now I’ve gotta’ get goin’ out to work again.”
“Youde ight, dis. ey ill dome gome doon.”
She looked at Applebloom with small grin. “Now look who’s talkin’ with their mouth full.”
Applebloom’s cheeks turned a faint shade of red as she swallowed her food; laughing, she tossed a pie towards Applejack. “Just go out and get working.”
Barely dodging the flying projectile of sweetness she leaped out the door. “Alright, alright. I’m goin’.”
*~*~*~*
Applebloom smiled while looking over the kitchen. After all her cooking ventures, it needed a good hour of cleaning before anypony could use it again. Gently humming, she placed a small apple at Big Macintosh’s place.
“I better go up and wake him up; he won’t like it if he sleeps too long.” Her cheeks tugged back into a devious grin. “And I know exactly how to wake him.”
She peeked around the corner, chuckling as she scouted her weapon of choice. In front of the fireplace, Winona lay on her back with all four feet spread out to different sides.
“Winona! C’mere!”
Abruptly awoken from dreams of chasing bunnies and herding cows, Winona flung around, shifting her head quickly from side to side. Her eyes locked on Applebloom standing around the corner with a devious grin smeared on her face. She let go of a tiny squeak as she took a long yawn, stretching her paws out behind her, and she hobbled towards Applebloom.
Applebloom slowly opened the door to her brother's bedroom. Ushering Winona to go in, she let go of a small chuckle. Winona slowly walked to the bed at the end of the room, looking back at Applebloom. Then she leaped up, landing on a big lump.
Applebloom jumped down the stairs as she heard ruckus coming from above.
“Woah, Hey! Winona! Stop that!”
She laughed as she opened the door leading outside, looking back up, she yelled, “Good mornin’, big bro! Breakfast’s ready!”
“Wait! Applebloom! What’s Winona doin’ in my room?”
On the porch, Granny Smith sat in her rocking chair, muttering something about zapp-apple harvest between loud snores. Applebloom stared at her for a while with an eyebrow held aloft. The chair squeaked as she tossed around.
“Oooh... Soarin’, that’s exactly how I like it.” she muttered with a sleepy grin smeared over her wrinkled muzzle.
Applebloom jerked backwards. “Ah don’t wanna hear this.”
Jumping away from the porch, she landed on the soft grass and took a heavy breath. “Today looks like a fine day for a Cutie Mark Crusade!”
She stopped on her way, pointing her ears up and turning her head towards the grass. She bowed her head, squinting into the tall vegetation. She spotted a small bunny gnawing on its hind-leg.
Applebloom made her way slowly towards it, staring at the bunny’s hind paw. She saw small droplets of blood falling down from a thorn.
“Aww... you poor thing, here, I’ll help you.”
Picking up the small fuzzy ball, she slowly pulled out the thorn. She hummed and cradled the bunny before she let it down.
She watched it sit there for a while, inspecting its own foot, before it jumped back into the grass. Smiling, she chuckled to herself. “Wait ‘til I tell Applejack ‘bout this.”
She felt the warm sun bathing her face; she squinted down the road, spotting Ponyville in the horizon.
“I should probably try Rarity’s place first; Sweetie Belle’s often there.”
A small chime echoed through the store. Applebloom shifted her eyes through the room, seeing nopony. “Hello?!”
She could hear thuds from behind the counter, followed by soft tapping on the floor. A white mare emerged from around the corner, her purple mane gleaming in the sun.
“Welcome to the Carousel Boutique! Where tomorrow's fashion is made for you! Wha...”
Rarity halted her sentence and looked at Applebloom behind a set of delicate red glasses. She smiled towards her. “Good day, Applebloom. What can I help you with today?”
Applebloom closed her eyes as she grinned towards Rarity. “I was wondering if you’d seen Sweetie Belle around.”
Rarity lifted a hoof, rubbing her chin. “I’m terribly sorry, Applebloom. But I believe she is with our parents in Manehattan this weekend.”
Applebloom’s ears folded backwards as her head sunk, her grin faded away. “Oh... Okay... thanks, Rarity.”
Trotting away from the store, she mumbled to herself. “I sure hope Scootaloo’s home.”
She stopped in the marketplace, staring enraptured at a ribbon. The orange color was supplemented by delicate white lines; at the center, a sleek brooch resembling an apple added the last details.
“You like that ribbon, eh?”
A merchant looked at Applebloom with his lips tugged back to a smile, he lifted the ribbon down and placed it in front of her. “It costs 25 bits, young lady.”
Applebloom let out a small squeak. “It’d be perfect for my sis; she works so hard all day, she never have time to buy things like this for herself.” She sat down and let go of a small sigh. “But... but I can’t afford it.”
The merchant shrugged his head. “I can’t help you then, little miss.”
Applebloom left the stand, making her way over to Scootaloo’s. She stopped in her path as she felt somepony tapping her at the shoulder. Turning around, she saw the merchant standing there, holding the ribbon.
He looked at her with a small frown. “I hate to see somepony sad.” He hoofed her the ribbon and smiled softly at her. “You remind me of my late daughter she would probably want you to have this.”
Applebloom stared at the ribbon, turning her eyes up to him with a glistening flutter in her eyes.
He ruffled her hair softly. “I’m sure your sister will appreciate it, now go on, I can’t let my customers see me getting all soft over a ribbon.”
Smiling, she looked at the ribbon. “Thank you kindly, Mr. merchant sir.”
Turning around, she spotted Scootaloo’s house in the distance; she started to trot towards the house, jumping in between steps.
Grunting, she tried to reach the doorbell with small jumps. Huffing, she knocked on the door, listening for any sounds coming from inside.
After a bit she sat down on the porch, sighing. “What’ll I do when they’re not home.?”
She smiled as she stood up. “Might as well help sis on the farm today then. And if I can wrap this ribbon up nicely, it’ll be the bestest birthday present ever.”
*~*~*~*
Big Mcintosh grunted as he hobbled downstairs. “That darn kid, waking somepony like that.”
He smiled while looking at Winona following him. He gently scratched her behind the ear. “Could be worse.”
As he got down into the kitchen, he was met with a welcoming sight. A platter lay at his place, carefully decorated with soft, fresh grass. In the middle, towering up, two hay sandwiches rested on top of each other with a big green apple placed on them.
Chuckling as he sat down, gazing over the breakfast his little sister had so kindly made for him. “Forgive her today, maybe?”
While eating, he stared out the window at the sun; shooting rays of light down softly dancing on the leaves, causing the apples to gleam in a bright red glow. He turned his head, looking at Winona, smiling as he tossed her a piece of bread.
His thoughts wandered off, recollecting the memories of the last time he saw his parents. He sighed as he stood up, blankly staring at Winona. “Come here, Winona. We made a promise to my parents, ‘take care of the farm and your sisters’. And that’s what I intend to do.”
He made his way up to the barn, shifting drowsily through the grass. He stopped in his path, running a hoof down the walls. He grunted. “New paint, maybe?” Smiling, he ruffled Winona’s fur. “A job for Applebloom?”
Opening the barn doors, he squinted in past the fog of dust. He let out a sigh of relief as he entered the cool shadows of the inside. He passed a pile of logs stacked on top of each other, covered in a spiders web. Shivering, he went onwards, staring up on the carry beams; small pieces slowly scattered down.
On a carriage furthest in the barn he spotted his plow. Smiling, he dragged it out to the field.
As he attached it, he spotted Winona. She was letting out deep, hacking coughs as she chewed on something. “Aw... Winona! Why d’you have to eat everythin’ you find? Go on, go get somethin’ to drink.”
Winona raised her ears while tilting her head slightly to the side.
Macintosh smirked jokingly towards her. “Don’t worry, I’ll come soon.”
He watched Winona hobble away. “That dog... I wonder sometimes.” Letting out a sigh, he squinted up. “Best to try’n beat the heat.”
*~*~*~*
Applejack placed two baskets full of apples near the barn; she wiped off dripples of sweat from her forehead. The air felt close and pressed against her body. Squinting, she looked up. The sun stood at its peak, and not a single cloud was there to cover it.
“Boy... it sure is hot today.”
She turned her head, looking towards the corner. Peaking her ears up she made her way towards the corner. A small humming sound came from around the barn.
Around the corner came Applebloom with her eyes closed, and she almost crashed into Applejack. On her back rested a tray with a big glass of lemonade.
“Hi, Sis!”
Applebloom smiled. “Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are busy today, and as it is so hot outside, I thought I could bring you something refreshing.”
Applejack smiled, ruffling her little sisters mane. “Thank you kindly, Applebloom. It’s jus’ what I needed.”
Applejack watched her sister walk-jumpingly down towards the house. She tilted her stetson down, draping a shadow down her face. Chuckling, her mouth tugged back to a grin.
“She’s the sweetest little girl.”
Feeling the cold liquid running down her throat, she leaned forward peering into the barn. “Better get done filling the barn up.”
*~*~*~*
After many trips back and forth between the yard and barn, Applejack finally sat away the last basket for the day, looking over today's work she chuckled to herself. “You’ve done a mighty fine job today, Applejack. I guess it’s time t’get some sleep.”
“Applejack! Applejack!”
Applejack turned her head towards the sound, staring down towards her house; she spotted Applebloom galloping towards her. She breathed heavily, looking up at her big sister with eyes big as dinner plates.
Tears trickled down Applebloom’s cheeks while she gasped for air. Applejack embraced her in her hooves.
“Calm down, Applebloom, calm down.” Applejack held her so she could see her face. Gently brushing away a tear with her hoof. “Now tell me, what’s wrong?”
“Sis! It’s Winona!”
Applejack felt her heart skip a beat, her eyes arched down. “What? What’s wrong with Winona?”
Applebloom shook her head. “I don’t know, she’s just... lyin’ there!”
Applejack leaped out, leaving her Stetson behind. She squinted as the cool, summer’s night winds whipped in her face. As she got closer she heard a deep, familiar voice inside.
And it wavered.
She opened the door, only to see a red stallion huddling over something in the middle of the room. Big Macintosh turned around to meet Applejack with a set of glistening green eyes, tears trickled down his cheek. His lips quivered as he tried to speak.
“She’s... she’s not moving, Applejack.”
Applejack’s eyes locked onto Winonas body; it barely moved. Even her chest seemed still...
Using all her strength, Applejack managed to move her brother away from Winona. She carefully placed Winona on her back before leaping out; rushing to the only place she knew she could go.
Ponyville was but a fast blur; she ran as fast as one pony would be able to. Applejack turned her head looking at Winona, and she felt panic grip her as Winona didn’t give any response to being hauled through town. Her chest started to sting, every leap became heavy.
“Hold on, Winona. We’re gonna make it! Just a little longer.”
Her breath was heavy as she arrived, on top of a hill stood a small tree-house with animals roaming around it. She felt a lump growing in her throat as she approached.
She hammered her hooves at the door. “Fluttershy!” Her voice was hoarse, each breath stung in her chest. “Fluttershy... please... open.” Applejack huddled together as her vision started to blur. “Fluttershy... please, I need help.”
Applejack squinted as she heard the door open, and she saw four yellow hooves standing there.
“Oh... oh my!”
Feeling weight getting lifted off her shoulder, followed by gentle steps fading inwards. Applejack felt fatigue cloaking over her, softly pulling her eyelids down.
Applejack was awoken by Fluttershy softly tapping on her shoulder, Her head turned upwards; meeting a set of blue eyes, glistening with a brilliant luster.
Fluttershy’s eyes arched downwards. She bit her lip as she looked at Applejack. “I-I’m sorry.”
Applejack felt a void growing in her stomach, looking into Fluttershy’s eyes. Tears started to press on. “What... What happened to her, Fluttershy?”
“She... she must have eaten something poisonous....” Fluttershy kneeled down, embracing Applejack in her hooves, whispering softly, with a crack in her voice. “I’m so sorry Applejack... I really tried. I... I just couldn't save her.”
Applejack’s heart stopped, holding onto Fluttershy she let out a scream. They sat still for a while, holding tightly around each other. Fluttershy hugged her friend tightly as she whispered softly into her ear.
“I-I’m so sorry... I feel terrible, I couldn't help her... I’m so sorry.”
Applejack sniffled, looking at her friend, trying to press forth a smile. “Don’t be, Fluttershy. You did your best, that’s all that matters to me. Thank you.”
She stood up while wiping tears of her cheek. “Could you...” She halted her sentence, battling herself to not have her voice break. “Could you please have Winona here for a bit?”
Fluttershy looked at her with a perplexed expression. “O-of course.”
Applejack slowly started to walk back home, stopping a little away from Fluttershy’s cottage. Her mind wandered off, remembering when she found Winona, huddled in a corner of her cage in the shelter. How Winona adapted to her new home, hiding in her bed, to slowly coming out seeking company. Lazy days of them running playfully alongside each other in the fields. How Winona stayed with her for days, comforting her when her parents had to leave, not leaving her side for many days. How she always came greeting her with a wagging tail.
She sat down, feeling a uncomforting lump in her throat. “I’ll miss you, Winona.” As the words slipped through her lips, she let it all out. Tears trickled down her cheek, she let out cracked, sobbing cries, not caring if anypony noticed.
She sat there for a while in solitude, thinking of her friend. She sighed as she stood up. “You gotta’ be strong, AJ. You gotta’ be strong for Applebloom... she’s gonna’ need it.”
Hobbling through Ponyville, she looked around. Nopony to see, just small fireflies having a dance in the dark. She spotted the farm in the distance, feeling that void grow even wider in her stomach when her thoughts wandered to what she was going to tell her little sister and big brother.
Opening the door she was met with two sets of big glossy eyes, Big Macintosh’s head fell down as he noticed Applejack coming alone.
Applebloom leaped of her chair, staring at Applejack. “Where’s Winona?”
Applejack slowly swallowed, feeling pressure building up behind her eyes. “Winona’s... she’s not coming back, Applebloom.”
Applebloom stared at her sister. Applejack winced as she spotted the tears trickling down her cheeks. “No... NO!” She leaped up, hammering her hooves on Applejack’s chest. “Tell me you’re lying! You’re lyin’!”
Applejack placed a hoof around her little sister, hugging her tightly. “I’m sorry, Applebloom.”
* * * *
A shadow casted itself behind the house; at the peak of the shadow stood the apple family. huddling together over a tombstone, all dressed in black, complemented with light brown details.
Resting on top of a tombstone, a bright red collar lay, with a golden medal hanging down in a chain noose. As the sun lit it up, the inscription got clearer. Small delicate letters embroidered in a circle of leaves, ‘Winona’.
Applejack nuzzled Applebloom’s neck. “Come, Applebloom. We’ll come back tomorrow.”
They shifted around, heading towards the house. Applejack turned her head, looking at her brother, who sat still in front of the grave. “You coming, Big Mac?”
He shook his head slowly. “I want to be alone for a little while.”
Granny Smith slowly moved up next to them, with a tear slowly finding its path down her wrinkled cheek. “I never believed I would outlive Winona... she had such spunk in her.”
While making their way back, Applebloom tugged her sister's dress, looking up with tears trickling down her cheek. “Sis... if Winona could speak, what do you think her last words would be?”
Applejack smiled softly, patting Applebloom carefully on the head. “A don’t know, but a think it would be something about us not being sad.”
* * * *
Before a pony dies, they write their last Will and Testament, give their home and all they have, to those they leave behind. If, with my paws, I could do the same, this is what I’d ask...
To a poor and lonely stray I’d give:
My happy home. my bowl and cozy bed, soft pillows and all my toys.the lap, which I loved so much. the hoof that stroked my fur and the sweet voice which spoke my name.
I’d will to the sad, scared shelter dog, the place I had in my pony’s loving heart, of which there seemed no bounds.
So when I die, please do not say, “I will never have a pet again, for the loss and pain is more than I can stand.”
Instead, go find an unloved dog, one whose life has held no joy or hope and give my place to him.
For that is the only thing I can give... the love I left behind.
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wow. well, that was.....dark.
But a mighty good story!
You, my friend, have officially earned a mustache.
great story, i could really see this in the featured
'Sad' was an understatement, that should have had a 'tragedy' tag...
I didn't want to read something this depressing...
The tone is slightly rushed in some places, but ultimately achieves its desired effect. The perspective switch was a good addition, great work.
This story is great in the sense that it achieves the effect, its something that a lot of us can relate to. It's sad but it has a lot of meaning behind it. I vote for this to be in the featured.
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7625-manlytears.png
.......No dislikes?.......*dislikes*, HAS ONE NOW!!!
1197587 Thank you kindly for the mustache, it will go great with my beard.
1197716 Thank you, glad you enjoyed it.
1197721 Opps... sorry...
1198167 Thank you kindly, glad you enjoyed it, even with the small flavs.
1198435 Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed my little story.
1198562 Eh...? is that good or bad?
1198613 Allright, if thats what you want.
*'CLAP. CLAP. CLAP.*
You had a wonderful story, I just had a couple of little grammar suggestions. Take them as you will
When Big Mac was talking to himself about Applebloom "Forgive her today, maybe?” and "A job for Applebloom?" why did you end those thoughts in question marks. It looks like your missing a word or two in these phrases, they just read akwardly. Hobbled is something you do when your injured. Hobbled -To walk or move along haltingly or with difficulty; limp". You might want to choose a different synonym for walking.
These little hang-ups didn't take anything from a wonderful story. I truly enjoyed it
Thank you dear, a few changes in word choice and this would be perfect
I noticed this put in Struggling Authors, and so I decided to see if I could give you any tips. Take these with a grain of salt; I myself am not very good at writing, but I'll try to help as best as I can.
First off, let's start with your grammar, which isn't really a big deal. Your grammar, for the most part, is solid. You used the correct you're/your throughout, and you used the correct its. Very well done.
I must point out where you did mess up, though. Twice you should've capitalized the word "apple" since it was referring to the family name. Here are those cases:
Faint thumping noises echoed over the apple family orchard; the sun had barely risen, bathing only small part of the farm in sunlight.
A shadow casted itself behind the house; at the peak of the shadow stood the apple family.
That was the only thing that really caught my eye. There are other mistakes in there, but nothing consistent, I think.
Prose-wise: as Raydner has already said, this story does suffer a bit from pacing issues. You used the four-star (or whatever these * are) and three-wavy-line (or whatever these ~ are called) to switch from family member to family member, but then you have places where the scene changes completely and there needed to be an indication of that. Here are the two places I can remember that happening:
She watched it sit there for a while, inspecting its own foot, before it jumped back into the grass. Smiling, she chuckled to herself. “Wait ‘til I tell Applejack ‘bout this.”
She felt the warm sun bathing her face; she squinted down the road, spotting Ponyville in the horizon.
“I should probably try Rarity’s place first; Sweetie Belle’s often there.”
A small chime echoed through the store. Applebloom shifted her eyes through the room, seeing nopony. “Hello?!”
Here, Apple Bloom's talking about going to Rarity's Boutique, and then out of nowhere, she arrives there. We just sorta jump there without any indication that we've gone there.
Applejack squinted as she heard the door open, and she saw four yellow hooves standing there.
“Oh... oh my!”
Feeling weight getting lifted off her shoulder, followed by gentle steps fading inwards (by the way, this sentence is awkwardly incomplete). Applejack felt fatigue cloaking over her, softly pulling her eyelids down.
Applejack was awoken by Fluttershy softly tapping on her shoulder, Her head turned upwards; meeting a set of blue eyes, glistening with a brilliant luster (This is all one sentence, and it should probably be two separate ones. Also, "glistening with a brilliant luster" is superfluous and unnecessarily clashes with this scene's atmosphere).
Here, Applejack collapsed from exhaustion, and then at the very next sentence, she's waking up. There needed to be maybe a solid line or maybe something in between there to indicate that a significant amount of time had passed.
Two more things about your prose: I felt like the funeral scene could've gone on for longer, and that it was a bit too rushed. Also, I think you overdid it with description.
In conclusion of that, pacing seems to be what you should practice on most, in my opinion.
Now we move on to the much more important matters!
Let's begin with the atmosphere you created. I must admit that I liked where it was going in the first 3/4 of the story. The humdrum, everyday vibe I got from it helped me appreciate Winona's company. Your setting descriptions were nice as well, giving it a clear early-morning image.
That being said, I think the atmosphere suffered from the rushed scene at the end. There wasn't any time or action to appreciate the gravity of the situation there (for me, at least).
Moving on to characters. I think you excelled with characterization, and I personally think you used ech character almost, if not completely, to their full potential. I think your story would've benefited from having a small scene with Granny Smith interacting with Winona, like the other members of the Apple family had, but that's just me.
Then, finally, I reach your plot (no, I mean the story-related plot!
). It moved along at a leisurely-enough pace, but it does rush through at certain parts, much to your story's detriment. Also, that scene with the ribbon holds no importance as far as I can tell, and you could've cut that out. The events that transpired were well-done except for your rushing through some parts, like the funeral scene.
Overall, this was a good story. Your characterization and plotting were solid, you had good control of your atmosphere, and for the most part your grammar was good. You just really need to work on your pacing; it moves too fast for the reader (well, me at the very least) to appreciate the gravity of what's going on.
Again, this is only my opinion, so take it as you will. I wish you the best of your talents with your next story!
wow, sad. But sad is great.
Love it great storycdn.broni.es/images/emotes/mlp-soaromg.png but wow granny your into younger stallions
1199261 Thanks alot for the tips! Although, my reasoning for Big Mac sentences to end in '?' is that he's a laconic fellow. So I feel that while economical on words, he will talk to a dog or maybe a dead object. That is atleast what I tried to show here, that he was talking to Winona, and not himself. I obviously failed at that, so I thank you for pointing that out.
1199314 A grain of salt? I welcome any helpfull critic! I will take what you said and improve upon them in my next fic.
So thank you kindly for taking the time to write that wall of text of yours. 
And about that ribbon scene, while it have no big significance as to plot. It was my way of playing on the sisterly bond they have, and the kindness strangers sometimes can present to others.
1199924 I'm really glad you liked it.
1199135 I'm glad I brought some discomfort to your dog, I'm sure he appreciates it.
1199062 Thank you, thank you kindly.
1200851 Haha, I'm glad somebody picked that one up.
And thank you, glad you enjoy my work.
HONK BLARG SPOILERS
Soon as I read the part about the Apple parents coming back, I knew this was going to be a sad one. And it was. Great job.
i started hyperventilating when Applejack was running to Fluttershy's
Then i couldn't help but cry so much
1200914 And about that ribbon scene, while it have no big significance as to plot. It was my way of playing on the sisterly bond they have, and the kindness strangers sometimes can present to others.
That's fine. This scene was done well. It just doesn't fit here.
and 
's relationship) would benefit.
If you put this scene in a different story, then I would believe both this story AND whichever one you put it in (preferably one that focuses on either an altruistic stranger or
But that's just my opinion.
This story was like watching Old Yeller; I shed a tear and I'm not the least bit ashamed. Good job!
1199314
This, a
times this.
One of those tiny little gems you don't really find that often...
all it needs now is a bit of polish. The little things are what brings it down, so work them up to snuff and it will be amazing.
...more so than it already is.
I'm to tired to read this at the moment but I am curious, does this have any realation to that one song from "Fievel Goes West"?
videobeta.net/gifs/6654.gif
wow
1201099 Thank you mighty.
Thank you for your comment, and glad you liked it. 
1201106 Glad you enjoyed it.
1201393 I will keep that in mind, thank you for taking the time.
1201784 Really glad you liked it.
1201977 Then so it shall be, I will polish my story.
1202502 No, I don't really know who Fievel is.
1202696 Glad you liked it.
1203224
MOAR DAMNIT MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
gifsforum.com/images/image/moar/grand/for_thel_love_of_god_more.jpg
1203239 Sorry! I don't have anymore for you.
But you can, if you want more like this, check out my other stories. 
That's the only thing I can offer you, sorry.
1203270 damn, ok i'll check 'em out later
just...great
Awesome.
Thisclose to bawling my eyes out...THISCLOSE!!! I never EVER cry anymore from stories! I CONGRATULATE YOU GOOD SIR
2027542 Thank you, glad you enjoyed my work.
2470854 Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy my work. Have a nice trip forward.
Sad, but good.