*Raiden POV*
I walked over and joined the crowd as Nicholas began doing his thing.
"Alright, ponies! Tonight we have a one on one fight for you to enjoy!" Nicholas called out as I noticed Rainbow dash and Applejack were taking bets on the fight. "In one corner, we have the fiery symbol of the wonderbolts. The strong, the bold, the fearless...SPITFIIIIIIIRE!" The crowd roared with cheers as Spitfire smiled smugly and stretched out her wings in a flexing way. I heard a pop as Twilight teleported next to me looking very frustrated.
"Why are you not attempting to stop this?" She asked me as I shrugged.
"Meh, my brother probably said something snarky and got Spitfire riled up. It's better for everyone if they settle their frustrations now rather than later." I said as Twilight groaned and puffed her cheeks out.
"Ugh! why do hotheads have to be so irratating!" She muttered as I noticed that Tak was whispering into Nicholas's ear, causing him to smile before speaking into a mic set he was wearing.
"And in the other corner, We have the mercenary of another world. The ruthless, the violent, the Alpha male himself...ROOOOOOONIIIIIN!!!!" The cheers for him came mostly from the female spectrum of the crowd, which I noticed that Chrysalis was none too pleased with. Ronin took a step forward and flexed his arms in a pose that showed off his whole body, causing his own wings to pop out and...why the heck are his wings made of metal?
Spitfire noticed this and laughed. "Nice wings, but can you even fly with those heavy things?" She said as Ronin smirked.
"No, I can't but they serve a better purpose anyway." He said as a bell was rang and Spitfire shot up into the sky, did a very quick loop de loop, and spun downward into a flying haymaker aimed at Ronin's face.
*BONG
Hoof met metal wings as Ronin had set his wings directly in front of him like window shutters, completely blocking the attack head on. Spitfire bounced off and hovered nearby.
"What the-" She said, but was cut off as Ronin started laughing. The wings retracted and I saw him raise an eyebrow at Spitfire.
"Nice kick there, Spitfire. But these wings of mine are made as shields, not for show." Spitfire immediately shot forward and threw a barrage of punches into his chest, each one pushing him back an inch. She finished it off with a buck straight to the chest that sent him nearly into the crowd, yet he stayed on his feet the whole time. The crowd roared with delight at the whole sight.
Spitfires eyes widened. "What the buck are you made of?" She yelled as Ronin stretched out his chest and spat out a bit of blood. He took a step forward and reached out his hand and clenched it tight as his veins went green.
"Pure power, Fire. Now its my turn." In a blink of an eye, he was behind her staring down on Spitfire, who turned and looked up in suprise.
"What? How did you-" She was cut off as Ronin grabbed her neck and choke-slammed her into the ground, leaving a pegasus mold where she landed. He let go of her neck and stood up, and made eye contact with Chrysalis, who raised a hoof midway on the air before motioning it to the ground with a dismissive snort. That couldn't have been an order to finish her...right.
I looked on in horrer as he picked Spitfire up by her midsection and made eye contact with her.
"By order of Chrysalis, you are to be executed for losing this fight." He stated emotionlessy as my jaw dropped and the crowd gasped. Spitfire made no move to escape and seemed to keep eye contact with him the whole time (kinda hard to tell with her shades on). Ronin then laughed and placed her down. "Be lucky I don't tend to listen to authority well. You fought good, Spitfire." He extended his hand, which Spitfire shook in return. The crows cheered at the positive ending as Chrysalis rolled her eyes but clapped anyway.
I took a sigh of relief as ponies dispersed and went to the dance area where Nicholas was currently jamming out at, looking just like Applebloom said he did when he jammed out the first time.
*Ronin POV*
As the crowd slowly left the scene and went back to partying, I turned to Spitfire and did a mock salute.
"You did well, Fire. Not many can cause this much damage to me and live to talk about it." I said, pointing to the marks all on my chest. She laughed a bit and rubbed her neck.
"Well, until now I have never been slammed like that before." She said as I extended my hand to her. As she took it and began to shake it, I nodded.
"Well, you have defenitely earned my respect today. Although I still think you run a circus." I said as Spitfire lowered her shades a bit and gave me a slight look, though she was smiling.
"And I see that your not just talk, bug boy. Heh, if you believe so much that I run a circus, then you should come to the academy sometime. " She looked past me and sighed. "If you'll excuse me, I have to stop a fellow wonderbolt from embarrassing himself." As she nodded and flew padt me I swear I could hear hear barking something at a pony named Soarin about staying away from the apple pie. Whatever that meant.
In an instant, my vision is covered in pink as I am knocked to the ground by a speeding Pinkie Pie.
"Omigosh, Ronin you were soo awesome out there! You were all like BAM AND WHAMMO and it was sooooo much fun watching you." She said before looking ay my slightly bleeding chest with wide eyes. She gasped and put on a pouty face. "You got hurt again! You have to be more careful then that." She stated as I laughed.
"Relax, Pink. It's but a scratch." I said as she went rigid and started staring off with a suprisingly pained expression on her face before she frowned and looked down at me.
"Well, your going to get that looked at!" She hopped off of me and pulled me up.
"Looked at by who? We are at a party and I feel fine anyway." I said as Pinkie scanned the crowd and apparently found her target because she smiled and started pulling me quickly through the field with no regards for the other partiers.
"WHOA!" I said as I almost got impaled by a dancing unicorn we ran by. "Pinkie, who are you even trying to get me to-oh." I stated as she stopped pulling me and ended up standing me up next to Celestia, who was currently talking with Luna. Wait...what were they doing here anyway?
Smiling at an idea in my mind, I turned to Pinkie Pie. "You have a slice of cake?" I asked as she pulled one out of her hair. I looked at it and saw there was not hair on it, so I let it slide. "Aight, go show Chrysalis how to dance while I mess with Celestia." I said as pinkie smiled and ran off. I took the slice and inched it slowly into Celestia's peripheral vision.
"Luna, I have known you for eons. I know when you are keeping things from me. So please just tell me why you had the head chef fired yesterday when he made you that beautiful dinner." Celestia said, not yet seeing the cake.
"We have our reasons sister. But do not worry, the position will be filled shortly." luna said, though I saw her left eye twitch as she noticed the cake.
Celestia sighed. "Very well Sister. If that is what you...you wish." She paused breifly as she notices the cake and I had to stifle a laugh as her head slowly moved towards the cake.
Luna raised an eyebrow and smiled smugly. "Dear sister, is thou trying to consume food while talking to me? Am I that boring to you?" She said as Celestia momentarily recoved and shook her head quickly.
"O-Of course not, Luna. I was....just...THATS IT!" She spun around and saw me holding the cake and her eye twitched. "Ronin...could you please give me that slice of cake that you have been holding for so long?" She pretty much begs as I raide an eyebrow, playing coy.
"Hmm...this slice?" I say, pointing to the slice with my other hand. She nods vigorously and licks her lips. Luna sighs and rolls her eyes.
"I am going to go and converse with the townsfolk." She says as she turns and walks off. I simply nod to her before turning back to Celestia, who had gotten way closer to the slice during the interruption. She went to bite into it missed as I pulled it away at last second.
"Ronin, give me the cake." She said with a suprisingly fierce tone of authority. I rolled my eyes and smiled.
"You want me to let you have it?" I asked as she nodded with an expectant smile. I slowly reached it towards her as she got more twitchy with each passing second.
SPLAT!
Several gasps were let out around us as ponies realized that someone had shoved cake into their rulers face. Celestia sat there unmoving for a bit before her horn glowed and engulfed us in a flash of light.
***********
Nicholas POV
***********
I had been playing music for about three hours so far, and I needed a break. After setting the music to play through a mental shuffle of rave music (I had accidently discovered that since its connected to my mind, I can play music from earth with my connection to it.) I went over and nabbed myself a cup of cider.
As I was relaxing, I noticed Diamond Tiara and Silverspoon come up to me. Diamond had this slightly annoyed face while Silverspoon looked dreamily towards me.
I was the first to speak. "How's the oarty going for you girls toniiiight!" I said, allowing the autotune to do its magic. Diamond rolled her eyes and motioned to Silverspoon.
"Your the DJ right?" I nodded slightly. "my friend here wanted to meet you personally while we looked for a soecial friend of mine." Silverspoon took a small step forward, a blush clear on her face.
"H-H-Hello 12K. M-My name is Silverspoon and I-I'm such a big fan of your look-I mean music!" She stated shakily with a weak smile. So the two don't recognize me? the inner troll is being fed today!
"I smiled warmly and knelt to go face to face with her. "Well, it's great to know I have a fan already, especially one so easy on the eyes." Silverspoon quite literally fainted with a sigh. Diamond gave me an odd glance but didn't seem to recognize me or my voice.
I looked up and saw that the shuffle I had set up was almost done. I stood up and winked. "Well, I must get back to my music. I hope to see you two around." With that I walked back to my table just as I noticed Raiden and Twilight were currently dancing (or whatever Twilight was doing on the dance floor) together to the fast-paced song.
Hehehe, time for a comeback of the couples song from Canterlot!
*************
Raiden POV
*************
After stopping Twilight from blowing up Ronin with magic for assualting her mentor with cake, I had decided to hit the dance floor. With Ronin taken who knows where by Celestia and Nicholas currently not at the DJ booth, I didn't have to worry about an awkward situation happening again involving a slow dance.
That, and I got to see Twilight attempt to dance. Seriously, that mare needs lessons considering how while attempting to dance, she knocked into half the ponies on the dance floor.
I smiled as she frowned at my reaction. "It's not funny, Raiden!" She huffed as the music suddenly stopped. I turned and saw Nicholas smiling and holding a disc.
"Hellllooo everybody! We have had a wonderful time tonight, right?" The crowd cheered in response. "Well, we've got a little something to finish off the music for tonight." And with that, Nicholas (I am not calling him 12K) placed the disc and placed his hand over it.
You have got to be kidding me...
A slow song started playing, and it was one of those with no words to it as well. Several ponies left immediately, while others partnered up and Swayed to the music.
I groaned quietly and went to leave the floor when I saw Twilight looking at me nervously.
"Raiden...Do you want to dance?" She asked me as I blinked in suprise. Seeing nothing wrong with it, I led her to the middle of the floor and helped her get to that same position we had shared back in Canterlot.
And then it started, we stepped to the beat of the music and swayed with the breeze. The whole time, I found myself under the gaze of Twilights purple eyes, causing my face to turn red. Twilight sighed and smiled up at me.
"Raiden...Can I ask you something?" She whispered to me as I tilted my head slightly. She took a deep breath and smiled. "Raiden...I have wanted to tell you this for a while now that I..." She trailed off slighty, unable to finish for whatever reason.
"You like me, don't you?" I asked her as she turned her head away slightly. I sighed and lifted her head back to face me. "Twilight, your a wonderful mare. And any guy would be glad to have you. But I am currently dating someone, and I have no idea if she would even want to start a herd or whatever it is y'all do here." Did I even want to herd? Do I even like Twilight like that?
Twilight looked at me in confusion. "Wait...who is it?" She asked as I sighed placed her down and turned away.
"Tis a secret, my dear." And with that, I walked away, but not before seeing a very frustrated Ronin appear from a green teleport and storm off towards town.
What the heck happened to him?
**************
Ronin POV
**************
After the light died, I found myself pressed against a wall in her bedroom in a make out session with the princess. Rolling with it, I picked her up (harder than it looked) and slammed her onto the bed, where we parted and she looked up at me.
"I saw your fight with Captain Spitfire. You always seem to resort to violence." She said as I started rubbing my hands through her now stiff hard wings, eliciting a sigh of content from her. Taking a look around, I found she had teleported us into a barn.
"Well, I don't see any complaining from you, Sunbutt." I said as I leaned in and nicked her neck with my teeth.
She let out a breath of pure desire and sighed. "Oh, Brim." She uttered quietly before her whole body froze up as she realized her mistake.
Excuse me?
I pulled away and stood up, facing her with a raised eyebrow. "What did you just call me?"
She looked at me with a face of regret. "Ronin, I'm sorry. The name slipped out and-"
"Did you just call me Brim?" I exclaimed, interrupting her. "Isn't that the name of your lover from a thousand years ago?"
She nodded slowly and looked away from me. For some reason though, this frustrated me more.
"So what has all this been, huh? Am I just some way for you to relieve your pent up emotions over the last eon? Am I just a stand in for your dead boyfriend?" I turned away, completely done with this conversation. "Well not anymore, go find someone else to be your boytoy, because I sure as hell ain't doing it anymore."
"Ronin, please! It's not like that at all!" Celestia cried. But I didn't care. I teleported away, leaving Celestia alone with her tears.
After teleporting back, I walked past the dance floor and saw Raiden walking away from a slightly upset looking Twilight. We made eye contact for a second and I saw that I wasn't the only one with trouble in paradise. I nodded to him and decided to go to one place I wouldn't be bothered.
After a small walk, I opened the door to my house and walked in, heading straight to the bedroom. I laid back on the bed and sighed.
I cant believe that damned princess... I thought quietly as I felt someone lay next to me.
"Hi Ronin." The voice was definitely Pinkie, but it sounded way more somber. I tilted my head left and saw her staring up ay the ceiling with a sad smile. "Are you ok?"
I sighed again and looked back up at the ceiling. "Meh, not really. But how'd you know I'd be here?" I asked as I felt someone get in bed on my right side as well.
"We found out because Pinkie saw you teleport back from wherever you went with that blasted princess and storm off towards town." I heard Chrysalis retort but felt her lean her head on my chest. I groaned a bit, my chest still sore from the fight earlier.
"We didn't want you to feel sad about whatever happened, so we came to check on you." Pinkie said, and it was here I noticed her hair was straight down, with no fluff in it at all.
"What did happen when you left?" Chrysalis asked, her voice oddly soothing for a has been tyrant.
I growled a bit and looked up at the ceiling. "Celestia teleported me to her room for a private make out session and-" Chrysalis immediately reacted.
"That idiotic whorse is still trying to bed with you? I thought we settled that last month?" She said with a suprising amount of venom in her voice that suprised me.
"Wait? when do you care about who I sleep with? You have no problem with Pinkie Pie." I point out as said mare is currently eating a cupcake that probably came from her hair.
"You are the future king of my people, you don't just herd with random ponies. And the piemaker is a...unique circumstance." She said as Pinkie gave her a cupcake that had frosting that looked like her crown on it, which she ate almost immediately.
"Well, that's not the bad part. The bad part is where she pretty much moaned her dead ex's name mid-makeout session." I said as both Pinkie Pie and Chrysalis looked at me in shock.
"Buck that's bad." Came the smallest sentence I ever heard Pinkie Pie say. Chrysalis, however, had plenty to say as she growled loudly.
"That goody two shoes, cake hoarding, man-stealing, thirsty as tartarus mare!" She said, getting louder with each word before Pinkie covered her mouth.
"Hey! Celestia may had been a jerk to our Rony-pony" Rony-pony....seriously, Pinkie? "But that doesn't mean we do the same in return, remember what we talked about at the party Chrysalis?" Pinkie said in a suprisingly stern voice.
Even more suprising, Chrysalis pouted. "Pinkie, me yelling at a florist because she made me spill that delicious cider those apples make is one thing, but princess stick-in-her-flank deserves it." I couldn't help but laugh at the situation in front of me as I wrapped an arm around both of them.
"Well, with you two with me, who needs sunbutt anyway?" I said with a content sigh as I stretched out on the bed.
"Umm...what are y'all doing?" I asked as they both shared a hungry grin and nodded to each other. Usually, these two argue twenty-four seven. But recently, they have tended to not be so difficult with each other, meaning that they could potentially cause some real mayham together.
Pinkie smiled big yet seductively at the same time, her hair slowly poofing back up. "Don't worry, silly! The three of us are just going to have a 'cheer up Ronin party' right here." She said while Chrysalis locked all the windows and doors with a single spell before turning to me and flashing me her fangs.
"Indeed, so allow us to finish off what Celestia failed to grasp." She said as she growled hungrily as I realized I wouldn't be sleeping tonight.
**************
Raiden POV
**************
I found myself sitting underneath an apple tree nearby the barn while at the same time away from the party.
What the heck do I do now? Twilight likes me, but I'm not even sure if I like her back. Or if I'm even capable of doing so. I thought as I heard someone sit next to me.
"Listen, Twilight. Im not sure I can-" I stopped as I turned and realized it was Luna who was sitting there with a now confused expression.
"What does thou mean? has something happened between you and Twilight?" She asked me as I sighed and leaned against the tree.
"Yeah, she kinda confessed she likes me earlier. But I'm not sure I like her back, or if I am even capable of learning to like her like that."
"Yet at the same time, thou doesn't wish to upset her either." She said as I turned to her and smiled.
"Exactly. What should I do?" I asked as Luna closed her eyes and looked to the stars.
"Look up into the sky." She stated as I did so. "See all those stars up there?" She asked as I nodded.
"Yeah, and you did a wonderful job making them. They are beautiful." I said, causing a blush on Lunas face.
"Thank you, Raiden. But that's not my point. Imagine one of those stars being you, and another being Twilight. Do you see how many stars are around you and her?" She asked me.
"Definitely." I said as Luna opened her eyes and turned to me, a warm smile on her face.
"Then remember this. Like all those stars in the sky, if Twilight isn't meant for you, there are many more options for her to chose from. Don't let yourself be pulled into a relationship that will end up hurting you and her both in the end." She said as I leaned against her and hugged her neck.
"Thanks, Luna. I think I know what to do now." She placed her head on mine as we sat there enjoying the piece and quiet.
*************
Nicholas POV
*************
After the townsfolk had slowly left the party, I briefcased my music set and with a flash was back to normal. As I walked around in search of my brothers, I got hug tackled by Diamond Tiara.
"Where have you been?" She demanded as she nuzzled my neck. I laughed and fondled her left ear, which caused a small giggle to come from her. "I told you to quit that!" She said mid giggle.
I smiled at her. "But your giggles are absolutely heavenly to hear, so why would I ever stop." I said as a sharp grin came on her face.
"Nicholas, are you ticklish?" She asked me innocently.
"In spots like my neck and armpits, why do you-Hahah-Quit that!" I yelled as she started tickling me with her hooves (how does that even work anyway? "Ah! your hooves are cold!" She kept it up for about a minute or so, our laughter echoing in the farms open fields.
"Ha! Victory is mine!" Diamond proclaimed as she stopped to let me breath by placing her forehead on mine.
*AHEM*
We jumped at the loud cough sound as we turned to see a brown stallion with black hair and money bags for a cutie mark giving us one of those nobleman looks of confusion/slight anger.
"Daddy!" Diamond squealed, sounding suprised. "What are you doing here?"
Wait a sec....DAD?!
Welp, I'm dead.
So she can do damage?
So he can increase his speed?
Did she fire him just so raiden could work there?
He has f*cked up on an entirely different level.
Hey, it’s hard to dance on four legs.
I’m still surprised at that.
Oh god. I need to know how many times this has happened to someone/somepony.
I don’t know what he’s so frustrated about.
Did they?
Ok, I’m starting to question some of their morals.
10733713
Spitfire is easily one of the strongest pegasus in the series.
more of a teleport.
You bet luna did.
It's kinda hard to explain the wrongness behind someone moaning someone elses name thats not yours unless you have had it happen to you yourself. Its pretty low
10733731
But, isn’t ronin having sex with somepony that’s not in his herd? So how can he complain about something being wrong?
10733863
The only time he slept with celestia was with Chrysalis being there. He hasn't slept outside the herd yet, and to make it simple: he actually liked celestia almost as much as he likes pinkie. But when he heard brims name, it kinda threw him for a loop. now he believes she only was using him to fullfill her own passions.
10733899
I guess that kinda makes sense, but only a little bit. Also, when did ronin learn how to teleport?
10733937
hes been teleporting since he became a changeling.
10733957
Yea, but I thought he was only able to teleport long distances.
10733959
if ya can teleport long distance, short distance is. o issue.
10733960
But the reason I thought that was because we’ve never seen him do it until his fight with spitfire.
10733972
Fair point, he never really had to until then though. On the note of that fight, your earlier question was how shr was able to hurt him. Keep in mind he had already sustained damage to that spot in his chest from Dadiolus and hasn't yet recovered fully, so getting into that fight might've done a tad nore than bruise his chest.
10733988
So the armor doesn’t increase his speed? So he didn’t heal from the fight?
10734014
Nope and double nope. He never got it looked at, which is gonna bite him in the butt later. recall the scene from his house in this chapter where Chrysalis simply laying her head on it caused pain.
10734019
So it only increases his strength and durability? So spitfire being one of the strongest Pegasus along with him not being fully healed resulted in him taking a lot of damage?
10734032
Nail on the head there, bud.
10734035
For both?
10734039
yup
10734073
Ohh. Ok
10734898
for some reason, I cant comment on private messaging or your page.
I am ok with you typing Russian to me, I can use a translator.
And I loved chapter 7 of your story as well.
10736710
Nicholas didn't want to meet anyone yet due to the fact he is still kinda recovering to waking up in a new world. Dont worry though, that changes fast.
Thanks for the comment!
10737056
Fine! I believe in you brother!
Raiden POV. ********* nothing to say. I liked it even better when you wrote POV 4 sentences from where Raiden is a lazy worker! And then there is simply nothing to say. Empty.
Ronin POV. I will be Apple Jack.
The fight happened so quickly that I cannot comment on it well.
Why?
Answer: You are missing additional information to create a scene effect. Remember how I described the battle between Chrysalis and Sassy Saddles in Chapter 6! It wasn't easy. It was dynamic and smooth because they agreed to fight without magic!
Remember the battle of Autumn Blaze and Rain Shine chapter 14. And then I described it in almost one and a half thousand words! But it was so spectacular, dynamic and epic that I later re-read this scene many times! Because she's really good.
What you have done looks like a children's cartoon for 12+.
This was my honest opinion.
Nicholas POV.
Tell me honestly friend! You don’t understand as much in my story as I do in yours now?
The youngest brother. I don't know his age, but sometimes he behaves a little boldly. The mysticism that surrounds this world is so great that I feel my understanding is not enough to read. He is a man who has some strange abilities.
Poor Venil Scratch! He took job and stole some kind of magical musical suitcase. Why did you steal? Because I didn't see in the description in the early chapter that she gave it to him! At what just an unfamiliar creature!
A lot of missed consistency of actions.
Silver Spoon ... hahahah! Here she is another filly in Nicholas's herd ... or 12k? What is the correct name for a person (younger brother)? And there is a difference between them! After all, they change their appearance, which means that the ponies perceive this creature differently!
By the way, the description of other ponies' perception of this new creature is missing! After all, Diamond Tiara could not recognize a familiar person in him. It turns out he does not look like a person! But is he still bipedal or something? Because if you read these chapters, you get the impression that the ponies are very well accepted by unknown creatures, and show maximum confidence.
If we discard the logic when reading this plot, then I want to be drunk at least in order to understand this normally.
But I ask you, do not take all this criticism wrong, but on the contrary, take it for the future.
Raiden POV.
I don't think Twilight is a fool who also learns lessons in friendship magic. If she explodes Rhonin with magic, I'm sure there will be total bloodshed. Brothers of Ronin + Chrysalis ... to put it mildly, they will be unhappy with the fact that Ronin was blown up by Twilight's magic.
Again, this is not quite the humor I can get, sorry about that. After all, you wrote exactly about the fact that Twilight is ready to harm Ronin's health, and did not express dissatisfaction with this complaint.
Ronin POV.
Once again ... by the end of this story, you will completely transform me into Chrysalis.
But you have the right to show Celestia like that.
Ronin disappointed me again. He expressed his outrage instead of talking to Celestia about it in more detail. You can listen to this. After all, she is also a living being. And she can be wrong too.
This will ultimately make me skip reading Ronin's POV. If he stays like this.
Raiden and Luna.
The moon looked into the night sky with closed eyes ...heh.
There are few dialogues. The romantic moment has been shortened. And all because you don't know what to talk about with such a beauty as Princess Luna?
Nicholas' final POV.
"Where have you been?" She demanded as she nuzzled my neck. I laughed and fondled her left ear, which caused a small giggle to come from her. "I told you to quit that!" She said mid giggle.
I don't remember her forbidding him to do this before! Again deceived the reader with the missing scene?
Well, that's all Nicholas goes to ask for hooves and hearts to U Tiara's parents.
10812619
Vinyl gave Nicholas the briefcase, it's shown in the chapter they meet.
the fight Ronin and Spitfire have isn't really a fight, its kinda like two people just swinging fists. there wont be any buildup or drama because there's not supposed to be.
Nicholas is 12, and the powers he weilds is...unique. (major reason why, but I'm not spoiling.)
I am very confused by one thing. Twilight doesn't threaten Ronin...like at all. Where did you get that from?
In a intimate situation where a girl says someone elses name instead of yours, wouldnt you be ticked off? I believe Ronin did have reason to storm off, because this sort of thing can make a guy rage.
she has mentioned half-hearted discomfort before with Nicholas messing with her ear.
And Dont worry, I dont take criticism negatively. I welcome it (and kinda need it as a new writer)