When Sunset Shimmer left Celestia's tutelage, she entered the magic mirror that had shown her dreams coming true, but instead of ending up in a simian mirror-version of Canterlot, she ended up in a strange school of magic, an esoteric, arcane, and clumsy kind of magic, but a potent one nonetheless.
Disoriented, and her mission somewhat derailed, Sunset is nonetheless determined to become an alicorn. She has glimpsed eternity, and will continue to pursue it. Whether the magics of the school of Hogwarts will aid her or not remains to be seen.
Put simply, this is my attempt at making a power fantasy entertaining. Read more about it here.
Thanks to ssokolow for his help with the story.
Chapters (19)
Looks interesting.
10546352
I hope it reads interesting too
Interesting and promising start. This Sunset is quite bound for Slitherynn I'd say, but surprises could happen. I do doubt she'd be a Griffindor though, and that's good. Some variety to come!
Very curious about her coming interactions and how this will progress. Plenty of power, yes, but the quest for more and the sense not to rock the boat unneeded. This will be an amusing Shimmer to read!
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Sunset ending up somewhere other than Gryffindor complicates things though. The other houses has like three named character each, none of which with the amount of characterization as the Gryffindor students, So I'll have to spend a bunch of times characterizing new characters and background characters, which will take away one of the appeals of a crossover (seeing the elements and personalities of the two different worlds interact), or I'll have to jump through so many hoops every time I want her to interact with canon characters.
Glad you like it though
She'll end up in Gryffindor, but I at least feel the circumstances of her doing so is interesting.
An interesting start.
Always good to see more Sunset Stories. Looking forward to reading more of this. I like how you are handling the magic so far.
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Thank you
Can you elaborate about the magic though?
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Interaction between worlds can happen even in different houses, albeit not so intense as in the same. Grants more liberty not to have the character bogged down by necessarily being railroaded into other relationships and could allow to explore other facets.
BUT indeed it's less troublesome to use the more established cannon ones in all situations.
That does beg the question, more when?
Won't deny that makes me a little sad, I would dearly love to see a fic with her in another house to shake things up - she'd be quite the shoe in for a snake - but I do trust you to write an amazing story either way.
10546670
Well, technically, as the writer, being compelled to put her in any house is railroading, no matter the house
As for when I get more: Tomorrow. I have... probably two, maybe three, chapters lined up and ready to go.
Pretty good so far, only thing I'm not a fan of is Sunset being able to easily use magic without a horn. You're basically stating she's the one pony in existence capable of bypassing one of the most basic rules of mlp, that being you need a horn to cast spells.
I mean yes wandless magic is a thing but I'm not a fan of the idea that Sunset is a master of such a skill because why would that have ever been nescessary for her to learn? Ponies have even less of reason to learn such a skill than wizards do what with their horn normally being attached to their heads.
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Yep, that would be a good idea to preserve dramatic tension in action scenes, and many other kinds of scenes, but, with my goal of making Sunset really, really powerful in mind, I decided to not hold back with all her amazing special-ness.
Worldbuilding-wise, to cast unicorn magic, you need to be a unicorn, rather than have a unicorn's horn. If one finds another way to direct and shape the magic, they can do so, and somepony with Sunset's skill will be able to. I was gonna question the point that it's canon that unicorns cannot use any other means of using magic until I remembered the movie. Sorry, but I can't work with the worldbuilding the movie provided.
Hope you continue to like it though
Hrm. Slytherin, of course.
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I'm not sure this is counter to canon or just alternate interpretations. When we see Celestia being "unable" to use magic, like during the Equestria games or when The Smooze is involved, she's clearly either simply pretending so she doesn't solve the problems before people can learn from the situations, or if she were to use enough magic to "break" what's holding her magic back, she'd hurt those around her, by causing a big magical explosion or something.
As for Sunset being a master at wandless wizard magic right away, well, I'm gonna guess that what you don't like is that she has nothing left to discover, and the following chapters might seem to reinforce that, but that will eventually change. Wizard-magic has features she has never thought about before, she just hasn't encountered them yet.
Edit: Want me to delete this response?
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Spoilers available in the comments
10546746
Okay, I deleted my other post because my explanation sucked here is a better one.
It's pretty much established that magic is harder to use without some kind of foci, for wizards that's the wand and with Unicorns, that's their horn. Now wizards know how to cast magic without a wand because the wand was invented later so they had no choice but to learn how to use magic without a way to focus it. Most wizards don't learn wandless magic in the present because it's just easier to use a wand.
The way I see it because unicorns have always had horns they never would have needed to learn to cast spells without one as such the concept of wandless magic never existed for them. So basically my problem is that it makes no sense for her to know the concept of casting magic without a horn as it's something Sunset could never have learned in Equestria unless she was just a pioneer of the idea.
Edit: Even if some pony did figure it out at some point it would just be the same issue with wizards. Why learn to use magic without a horn when it's easier to do it with one? And it's not like unicorns ever have to worry about losing their horn unless some kind of unexpected accident occurs.
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Ah, well. I'm a big proponent of OCs, but that's my tic, not yours.
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I think it might. I mean, I can see it being rare that unicorns learn how to do magic without their horns, since they all have horns. Except that last part can't be all true, there must have been unicorns who lost their horns across the eons, and some of them might have been really powerful ones, archmages and magical researchers, like Sunset, who would have wanted to develop ways to use magic without horns. If that's the case in the canon of this fic, Sunset would be familiar with their methods, and knows how to apply it. As I'm portraying her, magic is really, really important to her, and she doesn't want to find her herself without a horn, because of an accident or anything else, and not being able to use magic ever again.
I noticed your edit right now, and, well, yeah, to me that's a big reason for why Sunset, here, would want to know how to use magic without a horn, just in case
Good enough explanation for me as to why she can use magic. Also, keeping in mind that in the Harry Potter universe, the hairs are obviously magic.
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I like OCs, but like I said before, one of the core appeals of a crossover is to see established characters interact
I'm certainly interested in this. Sunset's always good, and outside context problems in crossovers are always interesting during crossovers. As long as she doesn't turn into a god, of course. To me, it would make sense that Sunset knows how to cast magic without a focus. The Equestrians probably have at least as many unicorns as there are human magicals, if not more, and have been using magic for arguably longer. Of course they would figure out focus-less magic, if only though sheer time and numbers.
I have to admit, I'm looking forward to the sorting. One, because the Sorting Hat is always interesting, and two, because I'm not sure where Sunset will end up. Lots of people might think Slytherin, but I don't think so. She definitely has ambition, but I think she didn't develop her cunning until spending a few years at Canterlot High. In the comic, she just walked into the dark magic library and completely ignored the sleeping attendant. She's certainly intelligent enough to be a Ravenclaw, and hungry for knowledge, that's for sure. She's hard working enough for Hufflepuff, though I'm not sure if she's capable of loyalty. That being said, ponies are herd creatures. It might be simply something about the culture that she can't get away from. IMO, she's a Griffindor. She's bold, brash, and a doer. When Celestia banished her from the palace, what did she do? She overpowered her guards and ran through the mirror, sight unseen as to what was on the other side.
Definitely keeping an eye on this story. Hope to see more soon.
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She sorta will, but she might not be used in ways overpowered characters often are in fanfiction. I have a more detailed description of what I mean by that in my latest blog post.
Also, if you don't mind spoilers, I reveal the sorting in the comments.
Hope you like the story
I really like how you’re characterizing Sunset here, as well as how the others see her. Dumbledor’s comparison of her to Voldemort is apt, considering they’re both striving for power and immortality. I mean, sunset is actually craving a mother’s love and thinks becoming an Alicorn is the way to get it, but I digress.
I’m a little disappointed that she won’t end up in slytherin, since cunning and ambition are their core values (and what’s more ambitious than trying to become a demigod) and her solitary attitude would serve her well there. There’s also the delicious irony of her waving Griffindor colors around on her head.
On the other hand I could see her at least getting along with Hermione, in a “I respect your thirst for knowledge because I see it in myself” way. And then she just sort of unintentionally tricks herself into friendship. I can’t picture her getting along with Ron though, and even Harry is a stretch for me, but I’ll wait and see what you do with her.
I’m really enjoying this so far, and I’m excited for more!
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On the sorting: Ah, I see, and understand your reasoning for doing so.
On your blog post: There's nothing wrong with being overpowered. After all, Normal Fish in a Tiny Pond is one of my favorite tropes. Of course, Sunset isn't a normal fish by any means, but in Equestria she's still limited by being a unicorn.
I see mentions Mary Sues, but I don't think that applies here. Generally speaking, Sues have two primary characterizations: everyone either loves or hates them for no reason other than they're a main character, and little to no effort being used to overcome their 'challenges.' Most often they will pull solutions and skills from nowhere and shouldn't be able to do or conceive of said solutions.
Sunset worked hard for all her abilities, that is simple enough. That these abilities set her in a class of her own in the human world does not make her a Mary Sue. It just makes her strong. As far as her interactions with other characters, that remains to be seen. Dumbledore seeing similarities between her and Tom Riddle is spot on, and I like how he's proceeding with caution. I foresee a mixed reaction from the rest of her classmates, particularly some envy from Hermione.
How you're going to balance the Harry/Sunset dynamic will be interesting to see, as crossovers are always a precarious situation when you stick a powerful outside character next to the hero of the original work. Sunset's enough of an influence that I can see her dominating the narrative which, since she's the main character here, is to be expected. It's just that her overshadowing Harry is likely to rub a lot of people the wrong way.
All that being said, I'm looking forward to more.
10546354
Yes, it was very interesting. Still too soon to determine my overall opinion of the story, but I'm definitely liking it so far. A few minor grammatical errors, but nothing too distracting. Eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
Dreadnought
10546953
The term Mary Sue is generally only used by people as a derogatory term for characters who come across as incredibly bland or uninteresting, with OP characters the problem is usually that the only interesting thing about them is that they are OP. Most isekai stories get around this problem by surrounding the MC with more interesting characters.
In terms of what the Author is planning for this story, it's sounding like the intention is that she'll be OP but she'll act in a way that intentionally keeps her true power hidden from everyone around her. Sort of like Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody. At least that's what it sounds like based on the Author's comments and I'd be totally okay with that if that were the case.
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It would be interesting to have her in Slytherin. There's another Sunset at Hogwarts-story, in the related-column to this story I believe, where she is, which I liked.
As for her getting along with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, well, it'll take a few chapters. Spoilers, but I don't think I could convincingly portray an instant friendship like Harry and Ron develops, and I don't think I want to. She will be pretty isolated for a while, but not permanently.
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Well, the original Mary Sue was a parody of the trend of fan-characters that only the writer liked and not the readers, was super-duper amazing and stole all the thunder and attention, and which the characters and rules in the canon bent in various ways to accommodate, be it forgiving her for sloppily written mistakes which makes her come across as worryingly sinister, or hating her for no reason so she could be a tragic hero, or giving her abilities, knowledge, and powers that didn't mesh with canon. If I play my cards right, Sunset will only partially be a Mary Sue by that definition.
As for her relation with Harry and the other heroes of the original story, if she were to help, she'd be able to solve most everything right away, which is what one might expect from a power fantasy, but which I don't plan. Harry and friends will be able to shine, sometimes thanks to Sunset, sometimes despite Sunset.
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I wouldn't discount Gryffindor just yet. Arrogance, Pride, Short temper, a willingness to jump into the deep end.
10546771 Maybe, but I think she has an equally good shot at Ravenclaw given her intelligence.
Sunset's already found a way to slip by the Ministry of Magic's detectors? Wherever she ends up she's not to be underestimated. Perhaps she might even cut a rug with Draco Malfoy?
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Draco Malfoy would certainly like that, but he's just not on the same level
Hmm, a very clever Dumbledore indeed. I have a good feeling about this. My hope/suspicion is that she ends up in Slytherin, partly due to an overabundance of gryffindor ponies, and partly because I want to see her interact with Snape on a regular basis.
10547117
I'm curious, do you think she and Snape would interact in a friendly or unfriendly way?
I wonder if Snape as Dumbledore describes being similar to Sunset might have better luck at trying legilimens on her.
I'm quite enjoying this story so far.
I'm going to guess Sunset ends up in Ravenclaw House
10547309
Honestly I'm wondering if Sunset was actively blocking his attempts to read her mind or if its just a case of her mind being so alien that it just made it harder to read than normal.
Since she didn't comment on it I'll assume it was the latter.
Well now, she is a clever one isn't she? As to be expected from a graduate of CSGU and the Princess's personal student.
And now she'll be doing magical primary schooling again. Good gracious me, these will be some easy marks. And a rather bored Sunset for a while methinks, perhaps she can get some advanced tutoring?
I see no issue with her casting, if wizards can have wandless casting then unicorns can have hornless casting. Just takes a lot of work and a fair bit of natural talent, both of which Sunset has in spades.
And as a final note, it's always good to see Ollivander's perennial bemusement with his unicorn customers. Wonder who's going to end up with that wand, wasn't it Dean that kept setting things on fire?
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Snape is an interesting case. We must remember that all of his book appearances come courtesy of Harry's exceedingly biased perspective. We largely don't know how he interacts with his house or even Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff.
But I think one of the biggest indications comes right in his first introduction. He tells them he can teach them to do things they never dreamed possible, but then grouses that they're probably going to be useless.
In my view, Severus Snape just doesn't like teaching. He's not suited to it, and he knows this, which only makes him more irritable. As to why he doesn't like teaching, Snape is a certifiable genius, an absolutely brilliant potion master. And what is he using these skills for?
He watches ten year olds fail to make boil cures.
Again, we don't know how he interacts with his post-OWL classes, since Harry was more than pleased to drop the course at the first opportunity. He might really perk up once he has students who achieved a basic level of competency.
He won't accept back-talk, but he will appreciate results. If Sunset displays an unusual degree of faculty without acting the typical gryffindor, I think he'll be very interested.
As to Sunset, if Twilight in Bridle Gossip is anything to go by, CSGU doesn't cover potions. Sunset's learning something new here, possibly the only really new thing of all her classes. She'll be fascinated, and she might recognize a bit of herself in the acerbic potions master.
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Oh, bloody hell, I was really hoping that maybe this one wouldn't be yet another "Ridiculously OP Sunset Sue Ruins Harry Potter" story. There are so many already. Oh well.
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The way I read it was that ollivander put her own hair in her wand, unless I mis read it?
Ohhhh this looks promising. I like idea of powerful sunset holding her own but uhhh not overpowered untouchable kind of power.
10547948
Nah, Ollivander's good, but even he couldn't assemble a wand worth the name in the span of a few minutes. You've got to select the wood, treat it, carve it, select a matching core, treat/prepare the magical core, put it all together, glue or seal it, let it cure, sand it, inscribe any needed carvings, finish it, and apply whatever other enchantments need applying.
Doing all that in 15 minutes would be an inexcusable rush job unless Ollivander is some sort of Christmas elf.
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Thank you
Spoilers concerning the sorting are available in the comments
10547379
I was imagining less that her mind is alien and more that she has protections already in place.
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10547529
She ended up with her own hair in the wand
As for Snape, he is indeed a top tier potioneer, and DADA... I was gonna say teacher, but he's not a good teacher, he's just a good practitioner.
And since he's not a good teacher, that would be a source of friction between him and Sunset. Her primary mission is to become an alicorn, but she values learning in general, and since Snape isn't interested in teaching, she's not going to have very high thoughts about him.
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There already are some OP Sunset at Hogwarts stories, that's true- whether they, or this story, ruin Harry Potter or not is something for others to decide though. This is intentionally that, and I should probably have that in the description, because I can already tell that a lot of people have already made up their mind about what elements are unacceptable in a story like this.
10547961
Yep, a link to my whole idea with this fic is in order.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/926597/sunset-shimmer-at-hogwarts-story-mission-statement
Oh I like that
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Well as I noted, I think Snape might enjoy teaching if he found someone he thought would be worth teaching. I suspect teaching the basics over and over again for however many years has rather burned him out. And again, we do see him from a biased source...
See I feel there is a difference in her having unique abilities no one else has(love it), a big impact on the world around them,( love it) and being so powerful that she doesn’t face any real challenges( do not like because without challenges and strong antagonizing of main character plot gets pretty boring)
Obviously you have the first 2 which I love and since it is still exposition stuff I don’t know if there will be the third, but I hope not, that’s the one thing I really wish for this story and I’d be pretty satisfied as long as sunset could face a good hard challenge despite her power.
10547980
One might think so, but if anyone would be worth teaching, it would be Hermione, and he doesn't like her either. And only teaching those "worth teaching" is totally the wrong attitude for a teacher. I don't think he's burned out, because I don't think he's ever put any effort into his job. He's just nasty, and bored
10547983
Does the third point apply? I guess that depends on how you look at it. She can magically run in circles around, well, most students, but also a lot of the faculty, both because her raw power, and because she has tricks and abilities they don't have, and certainly don't expect her to have, like teleporting inside Hogwarts. However, she'll still have challenges, because this isn't a shonen action story, where it's all about supernatural combat, she's instead gonna try and conceal her abilities, which could become quite complicated.
At least that's my plan.
10548003
Sound like a good plan to me. Concealment is always funnest especially with powerful characters :)
You captured Dumbledore so well! I now remember how much of a questionable person he was.... *Shivers* Ugh. Who knew what was going through that man’s mind at any given time? We, as the readers, certainly didn’t.
Kudos on a great first chapter!
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Thank you
We'll see how Dumbledore's plans are derailed from Sunset's presence
Its a familiar recipe, but one ripe with opportunity for new spins and changes at the hands of a talented chef/writer. I look forward to following along on this journey.
10548097
Glad you're looking forward to it, and thank you