The trip to the hospital was pretty quick and painless all things considered. We were able to see a doctor relatively quickly and he gave me a pretty thorough once-over before giving me and my mother the news.
“Well,” the doctor said, looking over me as my mother stood by my side. “You’re incredibly lucky, Mr. Parish. Your arm is going to be fine, as long as you don’t put any major strain on it.”
“That’s a relief.” I said, my mother and I both letting out a breath. I didn’t really think anything was wrong with it, but it was good to know for certain.
“Can you tell us what exactly is wrong with it?” asked my mother.
“William has a partial tear in his tricep,” the doctor summarized. “When the pebble lodged in his arm, it tore up a little bit of the muscle. Nicked some minor blood vessels but, other than the muscular damage, it didn’t do anything particularly notable. It’s really quite fortunate,”
He went on, holding up an x-ray of my damaged limb. “Mere millimeters to the left and it would have hit his radial nerve and done significantly more damage. A little more to the right and it would have nicked a vein, causing much more severe bleeding. And if the stone had been going any faster when it hit, it might have damaged the bone. As I said, you’re very lucky, Mr. Parish.”
I blinked. I hadn’t realized that my arm was so close to being severely damaged by that little pebble. I was astounded at how damaging something that tiny pebble could have been. A squeamish feeling welled up in my gut at the notion that I had only barely avoided paralyzing my arm or even bleeding out.
“What about infection?” my mother asked.
“No sign of anything growing in there,” the doctor said. “Your son said that he removed the stone and put disinfectant on it as soon as it happened, so that makes infection unlikely. Still, if you see any sign of any discoloration or feel any particularly bad pain in the area of the impact, give us a call.”
I nodded. “Will do, doc.”
My mother glanced at my arm. “So what should we do about the torn tricep?”
“Keep the arm in a sling if you can,” The doctor said, handing me a cloth sling. I slipped it over my shirt and settled my arm into it with relative ease and little pain. “That’ll keep strain off of it and help it to heal. Also you should take some ibuprofen every now and then to keep the swelling down. We can prescribe a painkiller if you like, but if the pain is as unintrusive as you say, you can just use Tylenol.”
“Thank you very much, Doctor.” My mother said with a relieved smile. “He’ll be sure to let his arm rest, right Will?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, mom.”
“If that’s all, then you can go.” The doctor strode out of the room. “You’ll be wanting to get home and rest.”
Leading me back out into the lobby, my mother turned her head back to the Doctor. “Thank you again for your help.”
I let out a breath, relaxing a little as the two of us stepped out into the parking lot. I didn’t particularly like hospitals and I was relieved to be out of there and back on the road with relatively little trouble. I moved my arm in the sling and actually found it to be relatively comfortable in that position. The throbbing was lessening and it felt a lot more soothing than when it hung at my side. I turned to address my mother...
...and then she slapped me in the face.
“Owww!” I yelped in pain and shock. “Why does everybody keep doing that?!”
“I have a better question,” my mother snapped,“Why were you out in that storm?!”
“Mom, please.” I said, putting a hand to my forehead.
“Don’t you ‘Mom, please’ me! You scared me half to death, young man! What on earth could be so important that you’d be out driving in a severe thunderstorm?!”
“Oh come on, Mom” I sighed, “I was out all day and when I first left the house the weather was fine. The storm only rolled in much later.”
“Why were you out in the first place, though?” My mother asked. “What took so long that you ended up in the middle of the woods in a storm?!”
“Well-” I started to say, only to be cut off by my mother’s phone suddenly letting out a buzz. My face went white. My mother looked at me suspiciously then looked to her purse, pulling out her phone. Her already angry face seemed to darken even more as she opened the phone and read the words on the screen.
“What is this supposed to mean?” My mother said, her voice taking on a dangerously soft tone. She handed me the phone to see what was on the screen. It was a text from my father.
There’s a strange looking girl in the house. She says she knows Will. Did you know about this?
“Well?” my mother prompted.
I sighed. It was everything I could do to keep from beating myself in the head that Rarity couldn’t keep secret in the guest room. Still, the cat was out of the bag now and all that I could do was try to pony up and mitigate the damage.
Heh. Pony up.
“Yes, mom.” I groaned. “This was that thing I wanted to discuss with you. That was why I was hoping dad would come with us to the hospital, so I could tell the both of you in the car at the same time rather than having to explain it to you both separately.”
“Who is she?” My mother demanded.
I raised my hands in an attempt to placate. “She’s a friend from college.” I lied. “Her name is Shelby.” Another lie. “I told you about her, remember? She was in my Dungeons and Dragons group? She graduated with me.” More lies. Shelby was still in college, two years behind me.
“Why would she be here?” My mother asked, raising her eyebrow.
“We kept in contact after we graduated,” I began to explain. “And apparently she’s been going through some rough times at home. Her parents basically kicked her out with next to nothing, demanding that she make it on her own now that she a college graduate. So I suggested she stay at our place a little while. I didn’t think it’d be a big deal.” Pinocchio eat your heart out. The real Shelby was at my old school in Texas. My nose is the nose that shall pierce the heavens!
“Her parents kicked her out?” My mother asked, her face softening.
“That’s what she said.” I lied. “And it gets worse.”
“Oh?”
“She was driving up to meet me when she skidded on a patch of water in the storm into a tree.” I said with a sigh. “I drove out to meet her, but when I got and was just about to load her stuff into the car, the tornado hit. As far as we can tell, all her stuff is gone.” I shook my head. “I think all the crap she’s been through may have traumatized her a bit, too.”
My mother raised an eyebrow. “That all seems a bit far fetched.”
I nodded. “I know. I was saying the same thing last night. It’s just about the worst chain of coincidences I could think of.”
“And this girl drove up all the way from Texas to stay with you?” My mother asked. “She didn’t want to stay with a friend that was closer?”
“Most of her friends are still in college apparently.” I said smoothly. “And she said on Skype that she was sick of Texas. Apparently she’s lived there her whole life and wanted to get out of the state when she was kicked out.”
“So she came up here?” My mother asked, her eyebrow cocked.
“Yep.”
“Where she came to see you, a guy she only knows from a Dungeons and Dragons campaign,” she continued.
“Well we did share a few classes and hung out occasionally...” I murmured.
“And then she drove up here, where she crashed her car in the rain.”
“That’s right.”
“And then when you went out to get her, a tornado dropped on your heads.”
“That about sums it up,” I nodded.
My mother looked at me skeptically before going back to watching the road, remaining silent.
“You don’t believe me?” I asked.
“Like I said, Will,” she began, “It sounds far-fetched.”
“You don’t believe me,” I sighed, trying to keep up the act. Inside my head I was shaking, sweating, and pissing my pants as to what would happen.
My mother sighed. “I don’t know, Will. It’s a fantastic story, but I have no reason to believe that you would let a girl stay in our house without knowing her. That’s not like you. Still, it’s also unlike you to arrange such a thing without letting me or your father know about it first, and I’ll admit, that rather pisses me off.”
“That’s why I did it while you were on vacation. I figured you wouldn’t let such a thing fly, so I arranged for her to stay while you were in the Outer Banks.” I explained.
“But if she was kicked out of her house, she’ll have to find a place to live,” my mother retorted. “And that was probably what she was planning to do when she got here, which takes time, Will,” she looked at me disapprovingly. “There was no way that you’d find her a place to live before we got back in the first place, and now, if you intend for her to stay with us still, she’ll be here even longer if she’s lost all her things. Especially if she’s lost things like birth certificates, identification, a cell phone, car registrations, insurance cards, and things of that nature.”
I blinked. I hadn’t thought of stuff like that. “...from what I understand, she has...” I mumbled.
“So basically, we’ve got a girl at our house with no ID, no birth certificate, no passport, and no connections whatsoever.” My mom shook her head. “Even if she’s your friend, I have no idea how to handle something like that.”
“Well what do you want to do?” I asked.
My mom sighed. “If what you’re saying is true, then I’m sympathetic. Believe me, I’m sympathetic, but...” she trailed off and groaned. “I think we’ll have to find a way to send her back home. I’m sure her parents will understand, no matter what their policies are.”
“You can’t!” I shouted, before wincing internally. I spoke too quickly and too loudly. The whole charade was falling apart around me and she was poking holes in my logic. Maybe I wasn’t the silver-tongued Starscream I thought I was...
My mother cocked an eyebrow again. “Why can’t we?” She asked. “I mean, sure, we can’t get her on a plane without ID, but you could drive her back down to Texas once we get your car fixed. You’ve made a trip like that before.”
“I can’t take her home.” I sighed.
“Why not?” My mother demanded.
Crapcrapcrap... Think of something, Will... “It’s not my place to tell.” I murmured.
“Will, if you want her to stay with us, you’d better tell me.” My mother said sternly.
I sighed. “Because...” I thought on the spot. “Because her father hits her.”
The silence in the car was deafening. The only sound was the humming of the engine and the occasional crunch of the asphalt as we drove down the highway.
“What?” My mother finally asked.
“You heard me.” I said softly.
My mother let out a shaky breath. “...alright, she can stay.” She finally acquiesced.
I let out a mental sigh, both in relief and frustration. “Thanks, mom.”
* * *
I remember being told a joke by my grandfather once. A man dies and goes to Heaven. As he’s being shown around by Saint Peter, he notices that Heaven is full of clocks. The man asks the angel about the clocks and Saint Peter tells him that there is a clock for every person on earth and every person that ever was on earth. He goes on to explain that the clocks show how many lies a person tells in their life. Saint Peter shows him Abraham Lincoln’s clock and it reads 12:02, meaning that he only told two lies in his entire life. He then shows him Mahatma Ghandi’s clock and it reads Midnight, meaning that he never told a lie even once. The man then asks about the current President’s clock. Saint Peter then says that Jesus keeps that in his office where he uses it as a ceiling fan.
I reflected upon that joke as my mother and I pulled into the driveway. If there were such clocks in whatever heaven may or may not exist, I figured that it was probably kicking up a hurricane right about now.
Sighing, I got out of the car, fixing my arm in the sling. I didn’t particularly like where I was standing at the moment. I had never told such a big lie in my life. Sure, I managed to wiggle out of some bad scenarios in my time with a well-placed fib. I once got let off for being twenty minutes late for a college class by telling the professor that I lost my wallet. Things like that I could pull off without any problem. Small things. Things that don’t come up again and aren’t questioned.
This was a big-ass lie I’d constructed. A terrible web of doom I was spinning for myself, and I had a feeling that it was going to come tumbling down if I didn’t remain on guard to maintain it. It was especially bad since Rarity still didn’t know all the details needed to keep the lie going.
I thought about it for a bit. Maybe I should have just let her know the truth.
I sighed. No, that wouldn’t have worked. My parents wouldn’t let a stranger, let alone a female stranger stay with me at our house for any prolonged period of time if they weren’t confident that I knew her and knew her well. And they wouldn’t believe she was actually Shelby if she didn’t have the ID to back it up... unless something happened to that ID. And they wouldn’t let her stay unless they believed it was downright dangerous to go back home.
I didn’t like it. But as far as I could see, it was all necessary.
Still, I hoped that I could find a way to get her reunited with her friends before my house of cards fell.
My mother and I stepped inside to see our family and Rarity gathered in the living room. My mother stepped up to my father and kissed him. My father stood up, then motioned to the purple-haired girl. Apparently they had just been sitting there awkwardly, waiting for the two of us to get home.
“So, this is Will’s friend Shelby apparently...” my father rumbled.
I let out a quick sigh of relief. At least Rarity remembered the name I gave her.
My father continued. “She says that she’s here because she was ‘thrown out’ of her home, and that she was a friend of Will’s in college.” My dad motioned to Dani. “Dani backs up that she’s Will’s friend.”
I blinked, surprised. Dani was backing us up? What universe is this?
My mother nodded, stepping towards Rarity. Rarity looked up at her from her seat, her eyes red and puffy. She’d obviously been crying again recently.
“I’ve heard about what you’ve been through, Miss Shelby.” My mother said, putting a hand underneath Rarity’s chin and looking at her closely. “You definitely look like you’ve been through a lot.” She smirked a little, “Though I didn’t expect the purple hair.”
Rarity remained silent as my mother continued. “I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through.” My mother said, opening her arms for a hug.”
Rarity sat there silently for a moment before falling forward into my mother’s arms, crying again. My mother made a soft shushing noise. “It’s okay now, Shelby. You can stay here for a while.”
“T-thank you.” Rarity managed to stutter out.
I let out a massive sigh of relief. For now, anyway, the fib was holding up.
My sister excused herself at that moment as Rarity lifted herself back into her seat.
“Why don’t you take a hot bath or something. Will can make you some tea, or get you a soda if you prefer?” My mother offered.
“Yes! Tea!” I said maybe a little too loudly. “Tea is good! I shall be in the kitchen making all of the tea!”
Rarity giggled a little at my antics. My father stood up and looked at my mother with a calculating gaze. “Honey, may I see you upstairs for a minute?”
My parents and Rarity all retreated up the stairs. I shuffled into the kitchen, practically trembling with relief that Rarity hadn’t been immediately kicked out, and with anxiety that they might decipher my little white lies.
As I put the water on the boil I heard someone clearing their throat behind me.
“Must have been a doozy of a story to get them to keep her around.”
I turned around to see Dani sitting at the kitchen table with a Dr. Pepper in hand.
“I don’t need to deal with you at the moment, Dani.” I muttered, pulling out a few tea bags with my good arm.
Dani raised her hands. “I’m not trying to start anything.” She said. “I’m just saying, I expected mom to come home and immediately toss the lady out.” She cocked her head. “What did you tell her to get her to let Rarity stay?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said softly.
“Hey,” She crossed her arms, “It’s in your best interests to tell me if for no other reason than I can synchronize my story with yours.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine,” I grumbled. “I told mom that she was a friend who drove up from Texas, lost everything she had in the tornado, and couldn’t go home because her father beats her, okay?”
“Whoa, wait, what?!” Dani said. “Back up a sec, you told mom what?”
“You heard me, Dani,” I growled.
“That’s kinda sick, bro.” she shook her head. “Faking physical abuse? That’s not the kind of lie that’s right to tell. This is not okay.”
I slammed a hand down on the counter. “She was going to ship her back off to her ‘family’ back in Texas, okay?” I massaged my forehead with my good hand, leaning against the wall. “I couldn’t think of anything else to get her to let her stay here. Not off the top of my head anyway.”
“I thought that making up stories was your ‘purpose in life.’” Dani raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, well, maybe I’m not as good at it as I thought.”
My sister shook her head. “Well, you said it. I guess there’s nothing you can do but go along with it now.”
I sat down on the counter, feeling nauseous. “I know. I feel rotten about it too.” I sighed. “Still, hopefully we can get her back with her friends and be done with all of this soon.”
“And how likely do you really think that is?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” I said defeated. “I hope beyond hope that it will happen, and soon. But on the other hand, all logic tells me it isn’t gonna.”
Dani shrugged. “Well, as you’ve told me, the whole situation is completely illogical.” She stood up and walked over to me, patting my shoulder a few times. “Maybe we’re due for some more craziness soon.”
I paused, thinking about that statement. “I don’t know if that is encouraging or terrifying.”
“Me either.” She said simply, then walked out of the room.
I sighed, thinking about the tangled webs I’d woven and the unacceptable things I’d said. The kettle whistled at me that the water was boiling. As I lifted it out I accidentally splashed some on my leg. I swore, wiping up the hot mess and proceeding to make the tea.
When I was finished, I walked up the steps to the bathroom where Rarity was running another hot bath, tea in hand and leg stinging. I wasn’t sure if the numerous baths she was taking would be particularly healthy for her hair or skin. I know overbathing is something that is generally advised against. Still, whatever helps her to relax, I guess. That was when I heard angry voices from behind my parents door. Dani was standing there next to the threshold, eavesdropping again.
“What’s up? I asked my sister.
“Shh...” she held up a finger, then waved her hand in front of her neck.
I stepped up silently behind her and listened to the voices behind the door.
“-ay, it’s a sad story I’ll admit, but I don’t want a girl with no ID that I’ve never even heard of living in my house!” I heard my dad say heatedly.
“Rick,” My mom said firmly. “We can’t just send her home. Will told me she’s been abused, and looking at her I believe it! Did you see her face? She looks like she’s been through hell and back! She lost everything! We can’t just let her out on the streets and I won’t send her back home to an abusive parent!”
“Okay, but what about a homeless shelter or something? I’m sure there are programs for people like her.” My dad said, backing down a little bit. Mom was really tearing into him.
“She’s our son’s friend.” My mother said. “Are we really going to force her into one of those places when we can put her up here for a time?”
“So what, are you suggesting we adopt her?”
“I don’t know!” My mother cried. “But this is definitely the safest place for her to be right now.”
“But are we safe?!” My dad shouted. “We’ve suddenly got a stranger living in the house and I’m supposed to be okay with this?”
“She’s not a stranger, Rick,” my mother insisted, “She’s our son’s friend!”
“Oh please.” My father said. “This isn’t about Will, or this Shelby girl. It’s about Caroline, isn’t it?!”
I felt everybody present seize up. My sister and I both caught our breaths as the room went silent. We had heard our mother tell us this story.
“Rick...” my mother said dangerously.
“You’ve never gotten over what happened to Caroline, and she was abused. You think you’re responsible so you want to try again with this Shelby. You think this is your second chance.”
“Rick, I’m warning you.” She growled
“I’m not keeping a stranger in our house just so you can get over your friend, Margaret.”
Dani and I heard a cracking noise from behind the door and the both of us gasped. I was becoming very familiar with that sound lately. My mother had just slapped my father in the face.
There was a dumbfounded silence on both sides of the door. It lasted for at least a full minute before I heard my father speak again.
“Margaret...” he said apologetically.
“No, Rick.” My mother said, sounding choked up. “She is our son’s friend, and she’s a victim. She can stay here as long as she needs to.”
My sister and I quickly moved out of the way of the door as we heard footsteps approaching, ducking into her room. Moments later, our father stepped out looking angry, frustrated, and depressed all at the same time. I had never seen that much emotion on his face at one time before.
The door closed again behind him. I heard soft sobbing coming from behind it.
My sister turned to me. “You’ve really fucked up, bro.”
I nodded. “Yeah...”
What else was I supposed to say?
I sighed, handing the tea to my sister. “Could you give this to Rarity?” I asked. “I don’t know if she’ll appreciate me walking in on her when she’s in the tub.”
Dani nodded and retreated into the bathroom. I sat down in the hallway, my back sliding down the wall.
“This isn’t how it’s supposed to go...” I muttered. A pony-meets-human story isn’t supposed to work this way. It’s supposed to be happy and bouncy and full of friendship and happies. All I’ve done since I met Rarity is screw things up, put her in danger and lie to the two people who loved me the most, causing them to have a terrible fight and remind my mother of a terrible experience she had back in college. Silver tongued magnificent bastard I was not.
Still, at least I could continue to help Rarity keep safe and continue looking for her friends. I just hoped I didn’t tear apart myself and my family while I did so...
Okay, that was a great cover story
God I love this story.
To be honest though, it seems that our protagonist is in too far to go back. His cover story was pretty well crafted, but he's at least feeling some remorse for his actions.
Wow, that was a really heavy, sad chapter. Talk about the worst case scenario, I don't think things could get much worse for Rarity and Will... Also, I heard the clock joke before, but it always makes me laugh. If that were true my clock would probably be as old as I am... Time to see how well this house of lies holds up, and hopefully things will start to pick up for the characters.
Not bad, fellow manipulator. Not bad at all...
Add in all of what happened to the fact that Rarity remains the only Equestrian who is currently unaccounted for in the other stories.
That girl needs to catch a break.
I... I did not see that one coming... at all. Wow. Talk about twisted.
Overall, dark tones were well done, scenario was just, uh, see above, and keeps me curious as to what will happen next in this tale.
I'm indifferent to the heaviness of this chapter, but I can sympathize with the characters all the same; my parents really aggravate me sometimes.
Looking forward to the next chapter of both this and Disharmony. Keep up the good work.
Man, you surely know where to punch people in the feels.
Nice Gurren Lagaan reference
I can understand and feel the heaviness, and I hope these two catch a break sooner rather than later, but the strain, the pain, and the drain are all on full tilt, whole no gain is in sight.
And honestly, you're putting not only Rarity but also yourself through a ringer the likes of which would make Katrina look like a shirking violet. It's perfectly understandable that a story that basically causes you to be introspective and self inflicting would take a longer time to write than a comedy or even a horror story with characters you aren't as deeply connected to.
I thinks this is a mistake here
Glad to see you return.^_^ Nice chapter. Feels shorter than usual... but ironically, that's fine for me right now, since I was short on time to read it tonight anyways. What timing, eh? XD
3723622 Well there is the purple haired lady that Ashton danced with / will dance with / is dancing with which I believe to be her
I like it nough said.
Oh yeah, by the way, a good note for ya, for the later chapters. The official comics have shown that the mane six have all played a pony equivalent of Dungeon and Dragons before. But, only so many people have read the comics, so it'd be hilarious for him to find out that Rarity has played a similar game before. I think the pony equivalent was called something like: Ogres & Obliettes, or something like that. I can tell I misspelled that. It's some fancy name for dungeons or labyrinths, I think.
3723092
I'm getting a lot of comments like this and I'm a bit surprised, although delighted. I was worried people would find it really shaky and implausible.
3723368
HA! AHA! AHAHAHA!
3723622
If all goes as planned there will be a timeskip soon so that I can catch up with the others.
3723873
I'm THINKING that an update to Disharmony will be next, but I'm not 100% positive.
3724227
Thanks. That was a very spur of the moment joke, so I'm glad people liked that one.
3724357
HENCEFORTH THIS SHALL BE MY EXCUSE!
3724379
I appear to be a moron. What's the mistake you've found?
3724734
It's about average length actually. On this story I tend to average a word count in the 4000's. My other stories tend to go higher (save for that one about peaches that we don't talk about).
3725032
I stopped reading the comics after issue 10 when they announced that they were going to (needlessly) bring Twilicorn to the comics.
Because I'm a petty manbaby like that.
Anyway, the comics are pretty much irrelevant in this story, as I'm pretty sure I started this story before they even began coming out. We're only working on Season 2 canon in this fanfic collab and basically making it the genesis of an alternate continuity.
3725113 It says that He asks His wife to have a talk with her yet Rarity goes with them.
3725150
Will's parents went upstairs into their room to talk.
Rarity went upstairs to take a bath.
3725169 Ah, ok
3725169 Forgot about that
3725113
I don't know. I think you've covered all the bases.
Ooooo, I felt the pain Will did when he listened in on his parents. All sorts of akwardness.
At least he's doing bad things for good reasons.
His sister's wrong about him, though. He said exactly what he needed to to ensure Rarity could stay. Master-class liar.
3725113
, ok now I'm really scared to see what happens next. Poor Rarity, she never stood a chance...
3725113 Ah. Too bad though. It'd be hilarious to see Will learn that she's played a game like that before thanks to Twilight, had he not read the comics and never learned of this fact. XD His reaction could be quite priceless.
Will..........you down right FUKED IT UP!!!!
Can Discord find her, seeing as Rarity is sorta off the grid?
3730505
We'll find out, won't we?
Much as I love some of the ponyfall stories, I still have a problem with the execution. The problem I have is that while I love some of the stories, some of the others (especially the Celestia one) are, well, not so good. Now, most of the time that's not a problem since I just avoid the less than good stories, but since this is a collaboration it's pretty much impossible to avoid.
I'm honestly not even sure why I'm saying this now instead of later. I guess I'm just not really looking forward to everyone meeting up again, because some of the stories involved are the ones I don't care for. Oh well, maybe I'll be surprised.
3734426
I'm sorry you don't like it. Aside from what you pointed out in the fifth chapter, though, could you explain what exactly it is you don't like about it or what you think the other, better stories did differently so I can maybe look into potentially fixing it?
3725113
See, it's this kind of attitude that you've consistently shown in your stories and blog posts that really negatively impacts my view of you as a writer.
It's fine if you want to do an alternate continuity, it's fine if you don't like Twilicorn. But going out of your way to bring this up in both your blog posts, stories, and comments in your stories really just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I'm still more than a little pissed off that you derailed Rarity's character to use as a mouthpiece for your own opinions on Twilicorn in a previous chapter, for no other reason than to bash something that you dislike about the show.
I'm glad things are finally getting serious. I'm also starting to like the narrator more.
3734920
We went over this. I remember explaining this to you. Just because I have a different opinion from the majority does not mean that my opinion is invalid. Nor does it mean that I should have to keep it hidden away or that I am somehow barred from speaking it and must censor myself just to spare the majority's poor virgin eyes from seeing it.
This is how I feel about the whole situation. When the topic comes up in conversation I am not going to hold back, nor is there any reason I should, just because some people disagree with me.
Look, I respect and even envy your opinion that Princess Twi is acceptable and a good turn for the show, but my opinion still differs and is valid. And I have a right to express it.
I'm not attempting to insult anybody or purposefully piss anybody off, I'm just getting my ideas out there.
3741841
Here. They'll all be on the TvTropes page.
Good somewhat sad chapter.
It's good to see you back.
Now we need some time to digest this. So your normal time for another chapter is completely alright.
But nevertheless, hope to read the next chapter soon.
Dragon
Good somewhat sad chapter.
It's good to see you back.
Now we need some time to digest this. So your normal time for another chapter is completely alright.
But nevertheless, hope to read the next chapter soon.
Dragon
3725113
Chronological reasons. If Andy Price and the others wish to utilize the events that occur past Season 3, they have to fit the proper timeline.
Seems silly to drop the comic because of that. Other than a little more drawing on Twi, there's nothing about princesses or alicorniness. But the pirate arc is pretty bleh, so you're really not missing much.
3751835
There was no reason whatsoever that they couldn't take the exact same route that the Transformers G1 comics have taken. That being, it takes place in an alternate universe from the cartoon.
Remember how Optimus Prime died in the G1 cartoon? Yeah, that didn't happen in the comics. At least not while the original G1 cartoon was still running...
...well okay he did die in a stupid comic where he went into a video game and got his brain saved on a floppy disk but A) that wasn't the same time or way it happened in the cartoon, and B) he came back relatively soon afterwards and C) it's stupid and we don't talk about it.
I wouldn't have even minded so much if she became an alicorn in the comics if they had gone into a story arc about her becoming an alicorn and establishing that she became an alicorn in a different WAY from the cartoon. I mostly dumped the comic because the show became moronic and I wasn't about to keep reading a comic that insisted on sticking to such an imbecilic canon.
Also, the fact that there is nothing about her princesshood or alicornhood is actually a strike against it (and Season 4). So far it means that her ascension into an alicorn has had no bearing on her character whatsoever and was completely pointless and means nothing. It's a moment that should have led to massive character development and a ton of new stories and they're still trying to push the same old stories, even though they logically should not work in the new context.
3751881 So, you didn't like the alicorniness because they DIDN'T do enough with it?
I'm surprised to see someone else who agrees with me.
They're caught in a tough position, Hasbro is. If they did big character changes, there would massive complaints that Twilight "isn't" Twilight anymore, that she's OP, etc.
They decided to take the route with less resistance, that being a very mellow approach. The way it is, her wings and title have had zero effect on the show, and that's a problem.
But what about the show "became" moronic? We had "The Ticket Master", which took a really simple situation and blew it up into a stupid big thing, but that episode gets praise because it was "character development" then.
Now that the development has supposedly ended, the episodes like that are "bad".
3752953
I would have probably preferred that she remain a unicorn, but I would have gotten over it and maybe gotten back into the show if they had actually bothered to DO anything with Twilight's princesshood (even the episodes named 'Princess Twilight' don't actually DO anything with her princesshood, it's just another romp through the Everfree from what I've heard). Instead, what SHOULD have been a massive, world-shaking, status-quo-breaking test of character and worldbuilding was reduced to a complete non-event, cheapening the world and at least three characters (Celestia, Luna, and Cadance's) roles as a result, and making Equestria seem a hell of a lot less believable.
At the end of the day, the show would have been MILES better off if A) they changed Twilight at the beginning of a season rather than at the end of one. That way, fans would not have had any time to stew over it and it would have been quickly followed up on, and B) if they actually wrote any weight into Twilight's change.
Ultimately, though, it's a bit difficult to really explain, and this is not the place I really wish to do it. (PM me later when it isn't my bedtime and I will gladly explain in a lot more depth).
But it's not because the character development stopped, as much as it is that something very important was lost in the transition from Season 2 to Season 3. Namely, there was a certain amount of thought and care in the writing that obviously slipped away. The writing became much more 'thoughtless' or 'careless' as to the implications and explanations that were given to the audience.
Again, I can go into specifics elsewhere, but I'd rather not do it in the middle of the comment section of my story.
Also, the Ticket Master, in my opinion, is one of the worst episodes of the series and when I was first starting out watching the show back in 2011 it almost made me want to jump ship. That episode gets no praise from me.
3751881 The problem with that though is that they had already established that the comics followed canon, not only that, but can you really say that they haven't used Twilight being an alicorn in a good way overall? After all, season 4 isn't completed yet. Also, Twilight doesn't appear in EVERY episode (flight to the finish), so you can't say that it made the ENTIRE show moronic.
3761815
As far as the comics go, they never really said anything explicitly. I remember exactly one reference to Season 3 off the top of my head, and all it was was Pinkie telling Rarity to write in Rarity's micro series comic, and then glaring at Rainbow Dash in a reference to "Wonderbolts Academy." It was a two panel thing at most that could have easily been explained away as something else.
Beyond that, there were actually a few things that suggested that it did take place in a separate universe from the cartoon, one thing being us getting to see Luna's hair change from S1 style to S2 style during a very badass moment, which would have been a very nice explanation for her shift in manestyle. The other thing I can remember off the top of my head is that Trixie was living in Ponyville apparently during the Nightmare Rarity arc and the Big Macintosh arc (which seems a little odd if it takes place in or after S3, given that she enslaved the town. Not sure how the ponyvillians would take her moving in).
And as far as Twilight goes, as I said, she makes the world as a whole less believable as a princess. When she does nothing but bop around Ponyville, it brings into question the roles of Celestia, Luna, and Cadance and how important they really are, as well as the systems of government, leadership, and social structure. So, yes, I can say that she does make the show a little bit more moronic simply by this detail existing at all. And if there comes an episode where she's actually actively doing royal duties and being a political leader and adjusting to high society life or something like that, I'm sure I will know very quickly after it happens and I will eat my crow.
But I will only eat my crow AFTER it happens (and only if the episode is actually any good)... and given what I've heard about Season 4 so far, as well as the upcoming episode summaries I've heard about, I have my doubts that we'll ever see such a thing.
I have my OWN motivation issues with trying to START a fic, let alone having one to update >.> there's gotta be some magical thing I can do to really get myself motivated to try and write this...
3734495
Sorry, I guess I wasn't clear enough. I was talking about the Ponyfall stories in general. I actually really like this story, so I wasn't saying I had any problems with it. What I was worried about were some of the other ponyfall fics that are, well, not so good, and the fact that all of them are connected. Honestly, I'd rather see one of the good fics (like this one and a few other ponyfall fics) just break away and have it be a single story instead of multiple stories by multiple authors.
Hopefully that's a little clearer, and if not, just know that I have no real issues with this story.
3763260
It's true, Twilight doesn't seem to have any new responsibilities or privileges as a princess, but I ask this: What responsibilities does your head canon say Cadance had prior to the Crystal Empire? She's been a princess since at least highschool (according to comics) and had no explicitly stated responsibilities beyond foalsitting.
3977383
Ah, that's actually a very good question.
To answer your question (having never read issues 11 and 12 of the comic or the Crystal Heart spell and being ignorant of what may have happened in them btw), my headcanon for Cadance is thusly: She was found as a baby and taken to Celestia due to the fact that she was an alicorn. Having no parents of her own she was raised by Celestia to be a princess. When she was younger, she learned from Princess Celestia and multiple private tutors, and learned responsibility by helping to foalsit the children of minor nobility (of which Twilight was a part of). Upon reaching adulthood, she started a relationship with Shining as he became a cadet in the royal guard. This relationship continued for a while as Cadance continued her tutelage and eventually became a minor member of the court. After a while, she actually began to practice the things she was taught over the course of her life, and became a foreign diplomat in the Griffin nation before coming back to Equestria after having been abroad for several years. Then the royal wedding happened.
See, the good thing about Princess Cadance, as well as Princess Celestia and Luna, is that we knew very very little about them. This was actually very clever writing, leaving us in the dark about them. This is because the more that was revealed about them, the more chance there would be that something that wouldn't make sense or would just be plain dumb would come up. Given that Celestia and Luna are the most important ponies in Equestria (they're even the first two characters mentioned in the pilot for crying out loud), and the fact that a lot of the culture of Equestria seems to revolve around them, anything detrimental we may learn about them would reflect poorly upon the world and the show as a whole.
See, if you're a longtime member of the fandom, like I am, you'll remember that there was a lot of fear and trepidation surrounding the Season 2 finale before it came out. At least as much as there was surrounding Twilicorn. Many bronies were afraid of what it would mean to have a third alicorn running around and if her presence may make Celestia and Luna seem less important or less special or less interesting on the whole. This is because if a lot of information was revealed about Cadance, being one of only three alicorns that information would inevitably reflect upon Celestia and Luna. Thus if something stupid were revealed about Cadance, then it would reflect upon Celestia and Luna, the two characters would be diminished as a result, and we know where this leads.
Which is why everybody was relieved when ultimately nothing of any particular detriment was revealed about Cadance in the Season 2 finale. Ultimately, the only thing revealed about her was she was in love with the Captain of the guard (a reasonable pony for her station), and that she used to be Twilight's foalsitter. The foalsitter bit was actually a bit dubious since why would a Princess ever foalsit anypony, but it could be explained away by perhaps saying that Twilight was minor nobility (her brother did apparently become Captain at a pretty suspiciously young age), and that Cadance was just a nice pony.
As for Cadance, she eventually got to run the Crystal Empire. That was actually kinda dubious, but for reasons that are irrelevant at the moment. We still, ultimately, knew very little about Cadance's job, origin, past, and background beyond the most basic information.
I haven't read the comic with Shining and Cadance in high school, nor have I read the Crystal Heart Spell. Let me say, however, that I find the idea of her in high school... dubious at best. As do I find the idea of her ascending from a pegasus at an incredibly young age then apparently being made a princess merely because she was now an alicorn (presumably) pretty dumb. The comic could very easily reveal far too much information about her, and the book, in the context of the rest of what we can deduce about her, just seems stupid.
...not that Twilicorn hasn't done a good enough job screwing up alicorns and Equestria in general on her own.
3977876
Regarding the book, you already know just about everything there is to know of Cadance's origins in there. I haven't read the book myself, but I've been told that the section that says where Cadance came from is entirely contained within a small paragraph. The wiki uses more words than the book.
Regarding the comic; there is honestly not a huge amount said. The flier Shining gives to his parents says stuff like "Foal Sitting by Cadance" and "Referred by Celestia", and Shining says when he gets the flier from a friend that "Cadance is foal sitting again", which tells us she's done it before but there is no indication of how frequently or how long before; although the implication may be that she's sat before for Twilight specifically (given the content of other things said).
We also know that Celestia was with Cadance when she was picked up to go to the Fall Formal dance, and the two princesses seemed friendly in a way to be expected of two in a close familial relationship. She was picked up from 'Canterlot Castle', and so could presumed to have been living there.
I can't think of any more official sources to say how much responsibility she may or may not have held, nor anything else about her living situation.
Okay, I've been way too distracted with stuff lately, but I have finally caught up. All in all I do like this story, it adds the parent factor more so than the other Ponyfall stories I have read. Sure, in the CMC story he was with his parents but they never really found out about the girls living with them at least not in a confrontational way. I do like how you give a small shout out to the other stories when mentioning Rarities dreams at least it seemed that way to me. Twilight being covered in blood and the CMC dealing with Discord. Over all, I don't really have any complaints about this story for it was well written give or take a few grammatical errors, still hope you update soon. Anyways, guess I'm on to the next Ponyfall series, just need to decide between Rainbow Dash or Applejack.
4069232
Thanks. Sorry PonyFall has been a little bit stuck in the mud recently.
4069305 Ya it's fine, I remember Slorg saying something about people not being on Skype on at the same time or something.... or maybe that was just that one brony.
Either way, if I waited nearly two years for How to Train Your Dragon book 11, I can wait a while for a new chapter of Ponyfall.