It's Nightmare Night, the perfect night full of games, candy, and frights. To get as many treats as she can, she goes Trick-or-Treating with her friends Apple Bloom and Alula. It's tons of fun and Dinky even makes a new friend named Morning Glory. But it isn't all fun and games. During Nightmare Night, spooky things come out to play, and worse, they're hungry.
A Lunaverse side-story. Knowledge of the Lunaverse isn't necessary to enjoy this story.
Thanks to Talon and Thorn for prereading this story.
Cover art:
Background by 90 sigma.
Apple Bloom by vectorshy (modified)
Dinky from the episode Luna Eclipsed.
Chapters (3)
Very nice!
Interesting plot
NIce work, loved it!
It's a good start for the story with a mysterious new character showing up (or, at least, I haven't come across Morning Glory in the other Lunaverse stories I've read), while flashbacks of Somepony to Watch Over Me steal away any relief I may have felt at the creature's kind words!
Although I think the last sentence flows better this way, I have also made it a comma splice
Considering it’s lecturing mode, my suggested question mark may be counter to the tone of voice Ditzy is meant to be having. And the repetitive 'eating' I could see as still grammatically valid in the sense of 'don't eat to much candy while eating said candy'
A 'lack of anything' feels ambiguous, as the sentence could alternatively be saying 'She sensed a distinct lack of anything (dangerous/suspicious/untoward), but the silence put everypony on edge.'
Maybe to reduce the repetition of 'head':
Although my suggestions make sense to me, because the story is being told from Dinky's perspective (even if it isn't first person), her describing things less eloquently is reasonable.
Looking forward to reading what comes next!
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Thanks for the proofreading help. Always appreciated.
It is neat seeing depictions where intermittent accommodation is possible for what would normally be considered entities too dangerous to ever interact with.
I can't imagine
Dinky’s quick thinking with the blood bags and her friends’ clueing in and playing along was funny and good.
“I don’t even have a shed, I mean shack. But if I did, you’d better stay out of it!”
Maybe word it like ‘again sounded’ or ‘still sounded’.
I’m not sure if I am correctly interpreting this interaction. Did Davenport mistake the troll for Dinky? If so, when Dinky speaks, maybe it should be added that he was oblivious not just to the fakeness of Dinky’s laugh, but to the fact that her voice wasn’t coming from the troll, or that Dinky was covering her mouth and making it sound like it was the troll.
I like the depth which is added to the world when details like this, showing other ponies’ lives going on, are included.
Another fine cliffhanger!
Ponies’ conventional inability to see past paper-thin disguises is used in an entertaining way in this story.
the Great and Elusive Trixie has made a fool of another monster!
Is this saying that the troll opened the door by breaking the nearby window and reaching the handle on the inside to open it?
*panicked excitement intensifies*
Looks like BonBon hasn’t been attending the weekly monster drills at the town centre.
Neat tie to the superstitions around Celestia
It’s a good ending that didn’t need to be specific about Morning Glory’s nature. I had kept expecting it to be Luna the whole time.
It's always nice to see somewhat recent Lunaverse stories. Shame the lunaverse and manehattenverse have got little to no love recently. I read all the manehattenverse in one night.