Why Do You Speak My Language?!

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Rick, a very enthusiastic human, meets Twilight, a curious pony who wants to know his name.

Rick isn't having any of it.

A shitpost written in a hour. Will be updated semi-regularly to springboard me into writing actively. Criticism appreciated, except from Mike White, because he's above this story.

Edited and inspired by FamousLastWords.

Now with an audio reading by StraightToThePointStudio! (Currently CH1 & First part of CH2)

Chapters (16)

Do You Really Speak English? · 2nd Nov 2020 · 1,330 words
1,330
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Are You Sure About That? · 4th Nov 2020 · 3,841 words
3,841
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11 chapters hidden. Show
One's Company, Two's A Crowd, And Three's An Interspecies Orgy · 8th Nov 2020 · 2,386 words
2,386
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Dinner's Served Best With Wingdings! · 15th Nov 2020 · 6,075 words
6,075
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🎵 Don't Stop! Dreaming! 🎵 · 16th Nov 2020 · 1,181 words
1,181
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Guess You Have To Put A Ring On It · 22nd Nov 2020 · 3,090 words
3,090
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Magic Makes Strange Bedfellows · 30th Nov 2020 · 2,938 words
2,938
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Chikin Lickin’ Experimentin’™ / How Not To Introduce Meat Into A Conversation® · 24th Jul 2021 · 4,380 words
4,380
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A Cold Heart Covered in Gold · 28th Jul 2021 · 3,456 words
3,456
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💧︎🕆︎☼︎☝︎✋︎👍︎✌︎☹︎ 💧︎⚐︎☼︎☼︎⚐︎🕈︎ · 1st Aug 2021 · 1,730 words
1,730
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Memory Of You · 11th Jan 2022 · 3,163 words
3,163
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Rickcovery 1 - Struggling With Magical Angst And Angst · 22nd Jan 2022 · 3,824 words
3,824
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Rickcovery 2 - Make Me Feel At Home Again · 22nd Jan 2022 · 2,438 words
2,438
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No One's To Blame (☜︎⌧︎♍︎♏︎◻︎⧫︎ 💣︎♏︎) · 8th Feb 2022 · 4,755 words
4,755
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Dissonance Of 🕆︎ 🕮︎ ✋︎ · 29th Oct 2023 · 3,196 words
3,196
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Did You Know That Forty-Eight Hours Was All I Needed? · 21st Nov 2023 · 4,212 words
4,212
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Comments ( 298 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 298
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Not Enough Coffee

Not Enough Coffee #1 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 7 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

no habla español

Mike White

Mike White #2 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 6 · 29 · Do You Really Speak English? ·

Like this comment if you don't support racism.

Not Enough Coffee

Not Enough Coffee #3 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 5 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

☞︎◆︎♍︎🙵 ⍓︎□︎◆︎📪︎ 👍︎◆︎❒︎●︎⍓︎ ☞︎❒︎⍓︎

Soaring

Soaring #4 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 1 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511851
i.gyazo.com/8c0bc4a4bb318b87e4086b3283ef7921.png

It's in light mode, chief. I cannot do a disservice to the master of light mode writing. Wait a minute, you said white mode you fucker.

Soaring

Soaring #5 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 4 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511856
✌︎☹︎☼︎☜︎✌︎👎︎✡︎ 👎︎✋︎👎︎ 💦💦💦

Muggonny

Muggonny #6 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · 3 · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511858
ok that is good i have pove you are in lightmode so i can read sotry. pls give me a dad or two before i can provide a prooper response

Muggonny

Muggonny #7 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511861
Shit, uh

FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #8 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 2 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

This story is why my father died. I think I'm ready to forgive him now...

Mike White

Mike White #9 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 2 · 3 · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511859
ok that is good i have pove you are in lightmode so i can read sotry. pls give me a dad or two before i can provide a prooper response

Soaring

Soaring #10 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511862
Nice job.

Not Enough Coffee

Not Enough Coffee #11 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 2 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511859
☝︎□︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♒︎□︎❒︎■︎⍓︎ 🙰♋︎♓︎●︎

MissytheAngle

MissytheAngle #12 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 3 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

I only need one wingding for this story
🖕

FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #13 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 1 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511861
Hey man, don't make fun of other people's lack of intelligence by mocking them.

Muggonny

Muggonny #14 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 2 · 1 · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511870
I know you're racist, but that doesn't give you a right to exist.

FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #15 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 1 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511872
I love you, too, broski.

Odd_Sarge

Odd_Sarge #16 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 5 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511861
Wow, that's just so fucking mean to do to Mike. Unbelievable. Lowest point I've seen you at, Mugg.

Mike White

Mike White #17 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511878
Muggonny is bullying me for my lack of grammar, so I'm bullying him for his knowledge of grammar.

FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #18 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 3 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511878
Tell him, bro! There's no place for people like that on this site!

Check my selfie, btw:
i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/011/869/internet_white_knight_colored_4350.jpg

Odd_Sarge

Odd_Sarge #19 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 1 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511880
Mike, I'm getting mixed signals here.

FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #20 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511880
He has knowledge of grammar?

Odd_Sarge

Odd_Sarge #21 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 3 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

Anyway, to the story.

“So, what’s your name?”

Stopped reading right there.

Muggonny

Muggonny #22 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511886
You have a reason to live?

10511878
The fact that you consider this my lowest after I did all those drugs says everything about how much you care about me.

FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #23 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 2 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511888

You have a reason to live?

Project Rita gave me one.

Soaring

Soaring #24 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 6 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511867
media.discordapp.net/attachments/772687851820548097/772687939100606524/Horny_Jail_meme.jpg?width=519&height=351

Not Enough Coffee

Not Enough Coffee #25 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 2 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511893

Muggonny

Muggonny #26 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511892
DAMN son, did you apply that HURT ointment firmly?

FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #27 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 11 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511895
i.imgur.com/CwCUz7A.jpg

Level Dasher

Level Dasher #28 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 8 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

I... uh...
...
Fuck it, I'll track.

Soaring

Soaring #29 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10511908
Thank you.

Muggonny

Muggonny #30 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 8 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

I found the soundtrack to this fic:

Kink-182

Kink-182 #31 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 5 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

Will you check my balls for me, to make sure I'm alive?

platogkrone

platogkrone #32 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 18 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

I stared at the book. What the heck did “☼︎☜︎✌︎👎︎ 👌︎☹︎⚐︎☠︎👎︎☜︎ 💣︎⚐︎💣︎☜︎☠︎❄︎💧︎” mean?

I have a better question. Why are hands part of the Pony alphabet?

FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #33 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 8 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10512198
memegenerator.net/img/instances/69506890.jpg

Dan

Dan #34 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

*Paging Dr. Feghoot.*

Soaring

Soaring #35 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 3 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10512198
Already on the case for that, don't you worry! Next chapter will offer some insight as to why.

10512088
It's a picture of your weiner! Ohhhh ohhh whoa!
We really love misheard lyrics, don't we?

10511887
Understandable, have a good day.
i.imgur.com/dTcAHZc.jpg

Chicago Ted

Chicago Ted #36 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 12 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

Reject alphabet, embrace hieroglyphs.

PurpleFloof

PurpleFloof #37 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10512302
Or, y'know, wingdings

LinkAndEpona

LinkAndEpona #38 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 1 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

Nice read!

Anar Isil

Anar Isil #39 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 6 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

It's not often that the comments section is as entertaining as the story itself. Following for both.

Ice Star

Ice Star #40 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 1 · 2 · Do You Really Speak English? ·

Broski this story is s good it makes me wanna 👀🔫 myself to show how much I it!

Herald of Opera

Herald of Opera #41 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10512426
As opposed to being more entertaining than the story? Because the alternative is that you haven't been on the site long enough to see any of the truly great shitstorms.

dragonjek

dragonjek #42 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 9 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

To be fair, astrophysics is probably easier when ponies are the ones who make a good number of the functions of nature actually work, or when stars are just things one of the ponies sticks in the sky at night.

Ribe_FireRain

Ribe_FireRain #43 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 19 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

I said, ''Do you speak my language?''

She just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich!

Kevin Lee

Kevin Lee #44 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 3 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

read blonde moments
10512198

I stared at the book. What the heck did “☼︎☜︎✌︎👎︎ 👌︎☹︎⚐︎☠︎👎︎☜︎ 💣︎⚐︎💣︎☜︎☠︎❄︎💧︎” mean?
I have a better question. Why are hands part of the Pony alphabet?

Probably because of a pony named Lyra.
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/215389f2-33a9-42fa-bffc-a013919fbd33/d6gezpq-c7cdf121-53e3-45f2-b9f9-ca5d8dfa32f2.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOiIsImlzcyI6InVybjphcHA6Iiwib2JqIjpbW3sicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvMjE1Mzg5ZjItMzNhOS00MmZhLWJmZmMtYTAxMzkxOWZiZDMzXC9kNmdlenBxLWM3Y2RmMTIxLTUzZTMtNDVmMi1iOWY5LWNhNWQ4ZGZhMzJmMi5wbmcifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6ZmlsZS5kb3dubG9hZCJdfQ.D3ojuFAjTAJyWUNSaxmdWVsz2dK5pZRvScNtFJ7IxNQ

False-Star

False-Star #45 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 11 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10512561
"and he said, I come from an land down under"

She just looked at him, confused "I thought you said you weren't a hairless diamond dog"?

Raugos

Raugos #46 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 4 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10512302
Zoomers and their emojis.

Maybe we should get them working on deciphering ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs.

FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #47 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 4 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

✌︎●︎●︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ⬧︎❍︎♋︎●︎●︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎■︎♑︎⬧︎
❄︎❒︎◆︎♏︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎♏︎ ⧫︎❒︎◆︎⧫︎♒︎ ♌︎❒︎♓︎■︎♑︎⬧︎
✋︎🕯︎●︎●︎ ⧫︎♋︎🙵♏︎ □︎■︎♏︎ ●︎♓︎♐︎⧫︎
✡︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ❒︎♓︎♎︎♏︎📪︎ ♌︎♏︎⬧︎⧫︎ ⧫︎❒︎♓︎◻︎
✌︎●︎⬥︎♋︎⍓︎⬧︎ ✋︎ 🙵■︎□︎⬥︎
✡︎□︎◆︎🕯︎●︎●︎ ♌︎♏︎ ♋︎⧫︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ⬧︎♒︎□︎⬥︎
🕈︎♋︎⧫︎♍︎♒︎♓︎■︎♑︎📪︎ ⬥︎♋︎♓︎⧫︎♓︎■︎♑︎
👍︎□︎❍︎❍︎♓︎⬧︎♏︎❒︎♋︎⧫︎♓︎■︎♑︎
💧︎♋︎⍓︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♋︎♓︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ⬧︎□︎📪︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎ ♑︎□︎
❄︎◆︎❒︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎⬧︎ □︎♐︎♐︎📪︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♒︎□︎❍︎♏︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☹︎♋︎⧫︎♏︎ ■︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎📪︎ ♍︎□︎❍︎♏︎ ♒︎□︎❍︎♏︎
🕈︎□︎❒︎🙵 ⬧︎◆︎♍︎🙵⬧︎📪︎ ✋︎ 🙵■︎□︎⬥︎
💧︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎♏︎♐︎⧫︎ ❍︎♏︎ ❒︎□︎⬧︎♏︎⬧︎ ♌︎⍓︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ⬧︎⧫︎♋︎♓︎❒︎⬧︎
💧︎◆︎❒︎◻︎❒︎♓︎⬧︎♏︎⬧︎ ●︎♏︎⧫︎ ❍︎♏︎ 🙵■︎□︎⬥︎ ⬧︎♒︎♏︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎♏︎⬧︎
💧︎♋︎⍓︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♋︎♓︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ⬧︎□︎📪︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎ ♑︎□︎
❄︎◆︎❒︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎⬧︎ □︎♐︎♐︎📪︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♒︎□︎❍︎♏︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
☠︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎
💧︎♋︎⍓︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♋︎♓︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ⬧︎□︎📪︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎ ♑︎□︎
❄︎◆︎❒︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎⬧︎ □︎♐︎♐︎📪︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♒︎□︎❍︎♏︎
😐︎♏︎♏︎◻︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ♒︎♏︎♋︎♎︎ ⬧︎⧫︎♓︎●︎●︎📪︎ ✋︎🕯︎●︎●︎ ♌︎♏︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎❒︎♓︎●︎●︎
❄︎♒︎♏︎ ■︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ♑︎□︎ □︎■︎📪︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ●︎♓︎⧫︎⧫︎●︎♏︎ ⬥︎♓︎■︎♎︎❍︎♓︎●︎●︎
💧︎♋︎⍓︎ ♓︎⧫︎ ♋︎♓︎■︎🕯︎⧫︎ ⬧︎□︎📪︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎ ♑︎□︎ 🕿︎■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎✆︎
❄︎◆︎❒︎■︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎⬧︎ □︎♐︎♐︎📪︎ ♍︎♋︎❒︎❒︎⍓︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♒︎□︎❍︎♏︎ 🕿︎■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎✆︎
😐︎♏︎♏︎◻︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ♒︎♏︎♋︎♎︎ ⬧︎⧫︎♓︎●︎●︎📪︎ ✋︎🕯︎●︎●︎ ♌︎♏︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎❒︎♓︎●︎●︎ 🕿︎■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎✆︎
❄︎♒︎♏︎ ■︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ♑︎□︎ □︎■︎ 🕿︎■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎✆︎
❄︎♒︎♏︎ ■︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ♑︎□︎ □︎■︎ 🕿︎■︎♋︎📫︎■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎📪︎ ■︎♋︎✆︎
💣︎⍓︎ ●︎♓︎⧫︎⧫︎●︎♏︎ ⬥︎♓︎■︎♎︎❍︎♓︎●︎●︎

Soaring

Soaring #48 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10512603
I can't believe this was posted lmao.

FamousLastWords

FamousLastWords #49 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 4 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10512609
When you're a normal, everyday pony but you also fought in the Viet-ding war...
derpicdn.net/img/view/2020/9/15/2445914.jpg

Soaring

Soaring #50 · Nov 2nd, 2020 · 3 · · Do You Really Speak English? ·

10512302
Yes. That's the move!

10512404
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!

10512426
This is how my story comments usually go. Some of my friends really like making sure my comment section sounds like one of the best comedy skits on the site. Thank you for the compliment, and I appreciate the follow!

10512508
B R U H 👀👀👀

10512582
I was waiting for someone to decode the message in the comments!

10512585
Tempted to use this not going to lie.

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