Colgate is a pony of simple pleasures. She wakes up, goes to work, avoids whatever nonsense is plaguing the city of Ponyville today, and heads home, leaving better suited ponies to clean up the weekly mess.
Until one day she wakes up, and it is not tomorrow.
This begins a series of circumstances that will eventually culminate with a conversation with a star, a lifesaving mattress, several pieces of magical cutlery, a series of one-hit KOs, and a chase through the past and the future for the fate of all Equestria.
Just a normal Tuesday in Ponyville, even when the exact date is negotiable.
An entry in the Most Delightful Ponidox, written, rather experimentally, in first person present tense.
Cover art by KozachokZRotom
Chapters (5)
I love this story already.
Note to self: From now on, stick with third person past tense.
that was great
Everything's nice and clear and I think I might know where this is going!
----
Typo:
Derpy nods. “She thinks everypony is me. Not that we get many visitors.”
Wow. I sorta expected something like that after the name reveal, but... Wow!
And hey, she got her dreams and stuff!
Oh my gosh, that was great.
All the twists and turns and foreshadowing, coming together so perfectly...
*Chef kiss* Mwah!
Very Doctor Who.
Perfect, from start to finish.
I want a sequell of colgate becoming luna(starlight could become discord)
THAT. ENDING.
Now you gotta show how they became, well, THAT.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Ooh, twins. Good explanation for having Colgate still be a thing in 2020.
I do love how much Derpy is cropping up in this contest. It's not like people turned to her very frequently in the other ones, but it seems like the prompt that calls for twisting time and space attracts Best Pony like a fresh basket of muffins. As it should.
And I can't help but suspect you were inspired by my Halloween costume.
Delightful madness from start to... well, start. Darn time loops. Thank you for a delightful read, and best of luck in the judging.
10491530
I'm sure there's no way you'll ever believe it, but the bit at the end was actually planned from early on. Genuine total coincidence how that lined up.
Thanks for reading!
You absolute maniac. If this isn't a winner, I don't know what is. It's hard to do time travel right, and this is a platinum example. Apart from all the obvious paradoxes (mainly the existence of the Spoon when it was never built in the first place), why would Luna become Nightmare Moon at this point? Just to maintain continuity?
Wait, nevermind that, I just had a brilliant idea for an epilogue. Luna needs to go to Minuette's place and rub her success in her face. Three doctorates? That's amateur hour.
10491944
If you don't mind me pulling back the curtain a little, I can resolve the paradox of the Spoon's existence.
Tracking it's lifespan from beginning to "end", the Spoon was created by Starlight in the apocalyptic timeline. Colgate took it from her, freshly made, to chase Derpy into the past. After resolving that, she gave the Spoon to her younger self in the hospital. It was then shown to Starlight where she took notes that she would later use to "replicate" it. After some back and forth, the Spoon was stolen by Derpy and carried with her to prehistory. It then made its way back to the present the long way round until Colgate received it again from "Celestia". If I've dotted all my i's and crossed all my t's, I think this works out. Though admittedly, thanks to a scene being cut, her jacket has no origin.
I actually started to make a timeline/spreadsheet to visualize how each character is moving through time and where each object changes hooves, but it was a frustrating endeavor as there's really no programs designed with that functionality in mind.
As for why Nightmare Moon would still exist, since she knows everything will work out in the end, why not have a little fun, scare a few ponies, and take a vacation from the bureaucracy of running a nation for a few centuries?
10492012
Well yeah, I kept track of all that, but the apocalyptic future timeline now no longer exists. Eh, we're arguing trivialities here.
10492012
Excellent story. It's hard to do closed loop paradox well without breaking reality. My only question is, where did the time spoon come from now. It was created in a timeline that no longer happened. The only way that it seems to work is that empty ponyville is an alternate present, not the future at all, and the spoon is the product of that forked, simultaneous timeline. Of course that would mean that this universe isn't running on closed loop, self correcting timeline rules at all, and Colgate only thinks she needs to keep punching herself to save the timeline, except she still does because the present she comes from is already the product of several closed loops.
Point is that Colgate would have to make sure Starlight still creates the spoon in the Prime timeline or the whole loop collapses.
Its still a good story, also I would love to see more dental time shenanigans. Have an upvote.
10491944
alternate possibility. Minette is just Colgate's second playthrough, as it were.
This is an excellent display of all the reasons that time shouldn't be messed with.
Now this was epic! I loved this!
Spoons!
I sure wish we could bootstrap our way out of 2020, paradoxes be damned.
The timey is so wimey, my thinker can't think.
It's after midnight now and my thinker is Pink.
I really ought to sleep now so tomorrow doesn't stink.
Thanks for all the madness, now let me catch a wink.
Need an origins sequel yesterday !
That ending is needs a story to explain it.
Overall this was pure gold.
After the first two paragraphs, I found my spirit horse...
Ooh, that is delightful. Headcanon accepted.
Already off to a great start. I can see why this did so well in the contest.
I wonder if that new sample she picked up was the actual plague, instead of the weakened strain.
That callback to the very beginning. You absolute madman.
Also, I can hardly help approving of a mare who sticks to her principles.
Now I start to wonder why Starlight didn't (or won't?) be transformed. Is she a baker?
I am all about Starlight being the last (crazy) survivor of an apocalypse. :D
I can't believe you wrote an adventure where Colgate being a dentist was an important part of the climax.
Also can't believe your villain killed just about everyone in Equestria all so she wouldn't be seen as racist. XD
Motherfucker. XD This is the best thing I've read all year!
I like the title of this chapter.
* puts on a horsemask, holds a thumb up
I LOVE IT!!!
it's rare to see a fic where derpy is the twist villain this is getting really interesting
dang!
Ohhh nice approach of using the name Colgate and Minuette as her twin sister although it makes sense because I thought I saw another one like her a couple of times probably in the earlier episodes
Not just her but also doctor whooves
Ok this is a very interesting story so far so Colgate a dentist live in Ponyville got herself knocked out and then waking up a month later and finding a time spoon and it looks like she's going to have an interesting time traveling
So it looks like Colgate went back in time to the day that she was knocked out and she did and when she saw a raindrop she basically punched her but what she made a mistake is she was earlier in the time when she got knocked out so now Colgate is the one is in trouble so she decided to see if she can go back in time but instead she went to the Future but it looks like a post apocalypse and starlight who basically lost her mind told her about what happened and it was all caused by a virus so they had so go to the past where the virus has started I wonder if Colgate can find the problem
So it looks like she want to the past events of what the virus took place so she try to found the pony who is responsible for the virus outbreak but she was knocked out and the bottle was gone but it looks like she meet up with the future derpy tell her everything what happened then she went back in time in the past this time earlier before she got knocked out and when she finally made it to the alley she knocked out the Pony but it turns out it was herself and what makes things worse derpy the past one making delivery which that will also cause the outbreak little does she not know so Colgate give her the bottle so now she got everything all settle but I feel like that was too easy something is wrong
Oh dang I really did not see this coming so Colgate what's going on in the future but unfortunately the future hasn't changed it still looks like an apocalypse so she basically march to Starlight and told her about The Cure didn't work and she told her about the other one was stolen but Derpy gave her the other one but the thing is she only made one and it turns out Derpy the one in the future was the one who caught the whole thing so she went back to the past to escalate the virus earlier but Colgate follow Pursuit and once again she went to the wrong turn but she got there just in time to find her and she's talking to her younger self to release the virus and the only reason why she did this is because she wants to protect her daughter which some of the reasons is really farfetch even ridiculous but she looks like she was in a desperate mother just to protect her daughter but it looks like Derpy the younger version refuse to do it and Colgate stop the older one and send her to a different future this time saving the future and this is going to be very hard for Derpy to forget something like this but all she can do is be there for her daughter and that's all she can do
Ok wow this was a pretty crazy story but a pretty good one nice way to use Colgate even though the official name was Minette but very good using as her twin sister makes sense but again this was a good story keep up the good work
That's a pretty sweet solid ending. Great story.
NO SPOILERS!
Celestia is Derpy...
[Blue Screen of Death]