[[On HIATUS temporarily awaiting completion of another story, then a partial re-write]]
To save Humanity, would you be willing to bring about its end?
To preserve lives, is it viable to alter them so deeply?
See how it all began;
The Bureaus, the PER, the HLF...
This is not your granddaddy's Conversion Bureau.
Welcome to a TCB world where Equestrians aren’t high-hoofed moralists, but merely a species offering us friendship and an escape in time of need.
A world where humanity isn’t entirely a race of misanthropic proto-apes bent on ruining the planet, but a proud species, with a history of successes and failures both, who’s luck simply ran out.
A world where we haven’t completely given up on our other options.
Where the PER become more aggressive, more well equipped, and more well led.
Where the HLF rise to the cusp of gaining access to WMDs.
Where, one day, Ponies won’t be the only option.
But for now, they are the Threshold of a new era.
This is the prequel to Option Gamma.
It explores the inception of my take on the TCB universe.
(Option Gamma may be read before this (which will result in some very mild partial spoilers), or after. Either should be enjoyable. I hope.)
Ok, and heereee... we.... GO!
Please understand, for those of you who have taken a rollercoaster ride with me before; my release schedule for this is gonna be appreciably slower than Option Gamma, but I am avid to see where this all leads, so there's no danger of abandonment or overlong atrophy.
Welcome aboard.
Put your tray tables up, and assume crash positions.
As previously mentioned, there is no specific reading order here;
You can read Option Gamma first, read it after, or not read it at all (which would make me sad) but in any case you can hopefully appreciate this story.
YAY!!!! PREQUEL!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I tell ya, this is how TCB should have been from the beginning. And...
we have the same name! (Almost.)
And of course this comes out on the same day that Past Sins arrives here, the day I has wanted to resume my own writing...
You don't like my free time, do you?
(jk)
I will savour this, like a fine wine.
What words could be offered?
I just don't know what went wrong!
It's beautiful.
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The south coast of Australia was declared uninhabitable in 2020? Fuck, I gotta move!
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I thought it was already was an inhospitable wasteland of death.
As for the story... it was... nice.
hol-lee sheet
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I'm going to not-read Option Gamma! muwahhaaaa- er... shit. I already did.
Dammit.
moar.
Very nice. So many potential plot openings - let the speculation commence
"The Earthgov Council maintained facilities in Harrisburg, Warsaw, and Singapore, rotating between them for three months each out of the year."
So where do they operate for the remaining three months?
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The other three everyone splits up and goes home.
Since the Councilors are representatives of regions they need time to maintain contact and accomplish work there.
Oh you haven't even met the villains yet.
But you will. You will.....
I'm going to put on my review hat now! Brace for impact, 'cuz this isn't going to be pretty...
Given what you have here, I wouldn't have published it so far. The prologue chapter is just prettied up exposition, explanations of deep background or setting information, that doesn't do anything to tell the story. And if the Everfree Writing Panels told me anything, it's that exposition costs you points. The first chapter bounces around several characters, not staying with any, aside from Councilor Sulerahmen, long enough for readers to suspect that they may become the protagonists of this story.
I might have condensed the prologue into a paragraph or two at the start of the first real chapter, and added another chapter or two so the readers could get a better feel for the start of the story.
Edit:
BEHOLD MY TWILIGHT SPARKLE LEVEL SCHOLAR-NERD STATUS! The date for the earth years should be listed as, for example, "2030 CE"
CE, or Common Era, is what scholarly types use to indicate the dating system used by a large fraction of the world, but want to be more politically correct than to use AD (Anno Dommine(Year of our Lord)) which helps keep things clear when talking to people who use calendars based on other starting points (and how long they their years are).
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(I jest; actually it's not that bad)
For the first part;
This isn't going to be pretty so brace for impact.
I'm not writing for reviewers. I'm not writing for points. I'm not even writing for or to scholarly standards. I'm writing for *me*.
The exposition is necessary, and since you're the only one who's showed any criticism of it so far my response is; message received, thank you (genuinely) for being constructive and making a valid point, but this is one piece of advice I already knew would be given me at some stage, and I chose to discard early on, even before hearing someone else say it. I think writing these days shies away *far* too much from explaining the world its set in. My works could be cut in half, sizewise, if I reduced things to allusions, and dispensed with vivid and intricate description. I'd rather suffer obscurity, criticism, and I don't even care what else than remove those things because they're a massively integral part of my style.
For this type of story, these are details that are necessary, and I had no desire to do what I did in OG and just allude to them.
I didn't even want to seed more details of it throughout the story. I wanted to show it; the blow by blow. Since I view the Prologue and Epilogue as, in a way, unique and different from the Chapter 1 thru final Chapter structure of the story, I feel comfortable doing different things with them.
Overall; I reject about 1/4th of the conventional wisdom I've heard on story writing anyways.
Maybe its presumption and arrogance, but I hold my style and artistic vision in higher esteem than I do the 'rules.'
I simply don't care enough about external criticisms based on narrative structure, or even audience preference (no offense you guys!) to alter what I want to write for the sake of the established norms. I'll change things if the effect is truly detrimental to the story, and I can see it once its explained to me; but in this case I feel that breaking the rules doesn't do the story any damage, assuming an audience member is willing to remain open to unconventional storytelling.
For the characters, I'm doing something different with Threshold.
I'm not exploring the relationship of a single nuclear group, I'm exploring the intertwined stories of what is going to end up being three groups of two, with supporting characters surrounding some of those groups at times as they journey through three different but closely interconnected strata of two worlds, and become major drivers of the events that shape the major entities in Option Gamma.
While they will all meet all of each other in some capacity, for the majority of the story I'm following separate groups who's actions are affecting the greater arc in varying ways. One of the weaknesses of this, which you have pointed out, is that it can become hard to feel the scope without the first few chapters all in place. My reasoning behind releasing now is to hold myself to a clock. I don't have any set-in-stone deadlines, but once there is an audience I feel subtle pressure that contributes to kick-starting my writing process sometimes. I needed that, or I was in danger of lapsing into a rut.
This is gonna be a big story, maybe not quite the size of 'Gamma, but who knows. What you're astutely observing is the disconnect of not having all the info, which is kinda something I want people to feel, in one sense, because it creates suspense. In another sense, it is indeed a weakness at the early stage, but I'm up for the tradeoff in this instance.
As for the time; there is no CE, or AD.
Once the two worlds join, Equestria restarts their year counter, as seen in the OG prologue, and Earth just starts referring to its years as the Earth Calender after The Winnowing. Its a Solidarity thing.
Its no fun to write for SciFi if I can't invent new technobabble terms gosh darn it!
HIT IT WITH AN INVERSE TACHYON PULSE!
EDIT: lemme be sure I'm clear;
1; Constructive Feedback is good. I like it. I just reserve the right to smile and politely say 'No, but thank you' to some of that advice.
2; I know I'm breaking rules, and I'd like to think I'm not being arrogant in doing so because I don't really expect many people to be on-board with me breaking the rules.
So that's being Gryphicly sutbborn.
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Back when I was proofreading OG I flat out said that I considered this to be your story, and that you should be feel free to ignore my suggestions. I just didn't feel the need to put the disclaimer in each time. (My time for writing reviews can wind up limited, so I like to get right to the point)
I could write a long essay/rant in defense of conventional wisdom... but this isn't the place. Same for exposition. I know that your stuff makes for good reading.
I fully agree with your argument about needing to put pressure on yourself; I've done the same. I agree less fully with the argument about suspense, at least this early on; we don't know enough about the characters to care about them, yet.
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I know you intend it as constructive criticism, and your civility shows that.
I always appreciate useful civil feedback like yours. Heck, even what you put above is useful to me, because even if I don't intend to alter my style, or the way the story progresses, etc; I may be able to seed in things that are both acceptable to me and my style, and smooth the audience's ability to handle what I'm putting out when they view it via a more conventional lens.
So any feedback on the story's mechanics (separated from the universe, or style) is gonna always have *some* use for me on some level or other.
Keep it coming!
And yeah; this semester I'm building a game engine and writing a 120 page screenplay for my classes along with the usual papers and reading for the others.
On top of that, while I am learning to practice what I preach and ignore haters, grow a thick skin 'n all, its always a tad bit upsetting to deal with them; so gaining momentum is important for me.
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Doctor Immanuel Kerint now has Derpy eyes. Everything is now even more tragic!
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*Vadernooooo.jpg
Poor poor mad genius...
The screwup wasn't even his fault.
It would have worked.....
I absolutely love your worldbuilding here. You did exceptional, heavily powerful worldbuilding in the Option Gamma, but it was limited by your (relatively) narrow focus and also your Gryphon obsession. There's nothing wrong with the Gryphon thing and narrow focus, it's just that SUPERSOLDIER X IS SUPER BECAUSE X will always come off as juuuus a little bit self-indulgent for the writer. (No complaints here!) With this story, though,
my probability-o-meter is o-metering future epic-scale epicyour worldbuilding skills are the focus. Hell, if you hadn't characterized Equestrian peoples by their imposed absolute moralities, *Shakes fist at air impotently,* I'd have irrationally advocated your ~verse all over Internets by now.P.S. Anyone wanting to seriously talk about absolute morality, please PM me. I'd rather not have it get into a comments thread, since only one side of the topic deals with simple stuff like neurology and anthropology.
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Thanks very much
The world really is a bigger focus with Threshold, hence the faster jumping between more character groups in order to cover more of it.
I hope to hybridize in Genesis; maintaining some good world work while also getting back to focusing on those characters. A balance.
So the super-mysterious organization has dealt with dimensional incursions before. No idea if the date refers to an actual event IRL or not, a quick google got me nothing. As for the genesis of the idea for conversion, still no indication if it's already come about as a contingency plan of the Princesses or is related to any other ideas for dealing with the event. Flux might be around to deal with the possibility that species change might be required to cross between the worlds, or he might be around because it's the standard operating procedure to make certain that Celestia's hair is as supernaturally pretty as possible before diplomatic meetings with aliens. Also, Zebras, Diamond Dogs, Buffalo, and Sea Ponies apparently don't have any magical artifacts of note at all, and won't be appearing in this story. And there's a bunch of grammatical errors all over, but those tend to mysteriously disappear sooner or later.
ahem.
dun dun daaaaa!
I'm liking this scientist already
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) can't ever seem to keep a hold on anything they find, someone more powerful invariably takes it away from them. usually violently. Sorry for the sea-ponies fans, but they don't exist in this timeline.
Zebras and Buffalo are closely tied enough to the Equestrian Nation that sooner or later Celestia wheedled all their artifacts into the vault.
Diamond Dogs (I thought I put down...
As to why Celestia has put Flux on retainer; it will make sense when its revealed.
As for the significance of July; 1974..... Has no one looked at the date in connection with a certain *coughcough*AmericanMidWest*coughcough* Desert?
I'll just be over here salvaging my latest weather balloon; if you need me later, leave a message, I'll be out collecting swamp gas.
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Really? But that's so boring! 
"Closely tied"
"It will make sense when its revealed."
DUH!
That's July 1947, not 1974.
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I have *horrifyingly* bad transposition issues when it comes to numbers.
I have failed tests at times due to this.
You just wait and see... I seriously doubt we're gonna see any lil grays pop out, but ExCET will make sense (and I'll explain the acronym) soon enough.
If you extrapolate you might even be able to see how they factor into the future of the Gammaverse, and shaping it.
Kristiana story took place in the Mojave. So it is real in this universe?
[youtube=y8Kyi0WNg40]
So funny thing about headcolds... they make writing rough. That, and the semester is back into swing.
Still, I'm trying to shoot for a once weekly update schedule as a basis, then work up from that free time permitting.
Enjoy the beginning of the end of the world.
Do I detect a RvB ref in there?
Still looking forward to the first contact.
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Eeeeeeeyup
Ive always enjoyed how you portayed celestia and humanity in your stories, something of a fallen grace sort of thing, i would have to say your and chatoyance's storys hold a special place in my heart, hers make me think what does it mean to be human? and yours make me proud to be one, excillent work my good man, keep it up!
1253639 To condense. What makes us truly human? Once this question is solved. It is good to cherish those traits.
1268019 I belive that is something we must all find out for ourselves, its not something a group or even nations can figure out, its what individuals figure out. That and were a wacky crazy species but all that much more fun.
Iiiitss heeeeereeee!
I like airships. airships are *cool.*
Also, I'm going to try to be better about updates, but sometimes its gonna be rough given my semester schedule.
Bear with me; this has not been, and never will be, abandoned. I'd like to avoid hiatus as well.
Nag me if I really start to lag. It helps if I feel a little pressure.
Great setup so far, a few typos where two words weren't spaced, or a name wasn't capitalized, but it's not bad enough to detract from the story. Looking forward to more, and damn you if you're not halfway done with the next chapter by Tuesday.
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I wanted to take the things I see about Humanity that are good, pair them with potentially logical vacuums and flaws in Equestria, and use that to immortalize the good of the Human spirit, melded with the good of the Equestrian, inside better bodies.
Artificial evolution of the body and mind and soul.
They have something we need; a better world, better forms, and certain personality traits that would (literally) behoove (and betalon?) us.
We also have alot that *they* need.
Conversion is true symbiosis in my world. Both parties benefit.
Heck, both parties need it, or they'll die, in varying ways.
Even Gryphons suffer the stagnation (which was discussed in OG and will be discussed here) that is more visible to the trained eye in Pony society.
When you're penultimate warriors, but don't have any real taste for conquering, it becomes easy to slip into the routine of just protecting the innocent, hunting monsters, and feasting all the time. That's great, but sometimes its good to explore, push boundaries, and seek new heights.
Dig up a little trouble just to prove you can wail on it.
Its easy to think that Equestrians aren't *that* bad off; heck they just launched this amazing new airship...
...but they haven't settled any new colonies in centuries. They've invented almost no new magic, or technology, since Luna's banishment.
Humanity by contrast went from paper gliders to moon landings in 60ish years.
Humans, with all their ingenuity, in Equestrian bodies, benefiting from the good parts of Equestrian society and magic.
I'll let that sink in for a moment.
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Yessir!
Working on chapter sir!
Whee, just got around to reading this! Yay airships!
*munches chips* good chapter.
1347762 That was always my idea as well, they are awesome people no different from us, but they have stagnated, and with out progress there is no future, I could go off on a tirade about two rulers solves all your problems but doesn’t let you do it yourself kind of thing, but that’s been beaten to death. And I believe the people in your universes are a more mature united people, Carl Segan said those men who explore the stars will be a much wiser and older man, there’s benefits all round when we work together, human, pony, griffon, the body is little matter its the spirit and soul that count.
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I'd rather say that the body counts, but the soul is what gives it a point and makes it count.
A soul with no body is still a being, (albiet one at a disadvantage) however a body without a soul is merely a science experiment.
1352256 I meant body as in shell, your stories portray them with differences yes, ponies are peaceful but capable of violence only in extreme, griffons take pride in honor and family but are quite capable of violence, and the humans exist somewhere in between, the body is and important grounding element, but the souls are similar, im just glad that your stories don’t have it as when people die on earth there souls just go poof because there is no magic.
Because were worth saving, there’s allot of good out there, more than people give credit for, your stories help portray that in a way, good people in tough situations making calls to save lives not end them. But I can’t wait to see your other stories with the dragons, zebras, and buffalos its gonna be cool, though I would have no idea which one I would be...
A thousand poxes upon your house, you've given me yet another fic idea
just kidding
Great chapter, looking forward to what you come up with next
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Now all I can think of is that song from the Disney Robin Hood....
I am gonna have to pull that old VHS (I betray my nostalgia) and see it again darn you.
I've been looking forward to the continuation of this story... Good Chapter :)
(If that is the proper definition, then I like trouble too)
A German, with a particle accelerator, in the middle of Siberia. What could possibly go wrong? This all being said however, you gotta feel bad for Immanuel, and, I have to ask the author, are you making some sort of comment about Immanuel Kant by your choice of name?
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Actually Kant never occurred to me as I was writing it.
Spooky, especially since I studied him a long time back...
>>A German, with a particle accelerator, in the middle of Siberia. What could possibly go wrong?
I can imagine my response when Thornton gets there, "Good news boys, the British reinforcement is here, welcome to the end of times!"