I usually have something witty to say but for the love of Bat Ponies, this is ridiculous. So have a quote. “We’re all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?” — The Doctor.
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On the first day of their vacation together, Windy Whistles catches wind that she never got the full story of how Applejack and Rainbow started dating. Never one to discount an opportunity to make Rainbow embarrassed, and happy for an opportunity to bond with one of her marefriend's parents, she tells a story.
Written for the AppleDash Warm And Fuzzy Feelings Event
Cover Art: Heir-of-rick
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Lovely job with this. Rainbow Dash, you secret sap
10411061
Thank you <3
I'm just starting to practice my writing, again, so I'm happy you enjoyed it!
Damn great way to close out the event. Not enough meet the parents stories for Appledash.
And this was perfect!
10411087
The kind words are very much appreciated!
Egads, be still my fluttering heart! This is just too sweet for poor ol' me to handle.
And that finishing line is the perfect cherry to top it all off!
Well done; a lovely story, delightfully in-character, and hitting the right emotional beats. I quite like this.
A couple of things hit me at the beginning that you might want to touch up:
Should be "hotels" here.
The commas are a bit awkward here, and there's an extra space between "was" and "not".
There are several ways you could fix it; you could remove the commas and change it to "was not only ... but in addition the penthouse ...", or remove the commas and change it to "was both Celestia's ... and also the penthouse was ..." the 'both' optional there, or you can switch to semi-colon and remove some of the excess structure; "was Celestia's was of easing into retirement; the penthouse ..."
Which way you go depends on whether you're treating it as a contrast, a continuing thought, or two separate sentences on the same topic being joined together. Nothing else jumped out at me once I got rolling, I just tripped over the first paragraph a bit. Once more, it's a good story and I quite like it.
The characterization for they are just great, feel like they truly would be like that.
afterall we all know shes a softie deep inside...mmh reminds me of someone else~
it was quite a lovely story, and at first i got a little worried since the building up was taking a big part of the chapter but was worth for such cute declaration story.
10411342
I'm very glad you liked it! I was apprehensive about my characterization for Windy Whistles, as I haven't been exposed to very much of her, so it's good to hear I didn't go too off beat.
And I appreciate you catching that, I have a terrible habit of punctuating narration the way I hear it in my head. I'll give that a little tune-up!
10411306
Well, I'm very glad to hear you enjoyed it!
10411593
I know, I got a little carried away with the beginning. In the end I had to cut down a little bit to keep it from becoming too boring.
Omg, the feels I felt in this story. I’m glad it came out on my birthday.
10411856
Happy Birthday!
And I'm glad you liked it, friend
10411888
Thank you
And you are very welcome.
Most of the foal pictures were sketches and woodcuts. A few were the results of time travel spells.
Huh. There' a story waiting to be told...
Given how Big Mac's proposal went, I can hardly blame Dash for skipping to the good part.
I can always rely on stories inspired by the cover image to be rich in warm fuzzies. This one did not disappoint. Fantastic work in both the character dynamics and Dash's romantic fumbling. Thank you for this.
10414267
I imagined some of them to be paintings, or magically imprinted on canvas. But admittedly, I did forget about the little disparity in technology. But, then again, given some of the cast's interesting bouts with time travel, going back in time to get snapshots of their rulers/friends as children wouldn't be out of the question.
That is some very high praise. That is a wonderful image and I knew the moment I saw it, I had to do something revolving around it. It makes me happy to hear that I did well, in that regard. Thank you for taking the time to read and leave a little comment!
That ending was gorgeous. Anyone who's lost a parent knows that those titles are not easy to bestow on others. The way is portrayed here honestly, I can't even describe how it makes me feel. But it does make me feel, so I know this story did what it was supposed to.
10848748
Well, that's always good praise to hear. I'm glad it got you to feel something!
Especially if it wasn't dislike for the story!It's not the easiest thing in the world to write about topics like this, so it's always good to know you've done it at least sufficiently enough.
THIS STORY IS SOOO ADORABLE OH MY GOSH
10994277
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! <3
This story was so darn cute and yet, for some strange reason that I have difficulties putting into words, I do somehow feel... conflicted about the end. Obviously, family is one of the most important parts of life for AJ and their interactions surely justified such an offer, but somehow... I can't even tell you if I'm against it. It's just... yeah, somehow, in a strange way, bothering me.
That conundrum put aside, though - this entire story was lovely. Characters were spot-on, writing was great, enjoyment was found.
Thank you.
11097607
I can understand the conflict, but I'm not sure I can address that since it sounds like a very personal thing. Though I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the story itself, even if the ending is a bit of a grey area