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Arakos

Joined May 2012
42 followers

Stories (3)

  • Applejack is Allergic to Apples
    Applejack deals with a medical complication she never expected.

    5,350 words · 4,817 views · 303 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Lament of a Muffin
    Ditzy deals with a life that she can't control, and ponies that only see a muffin crazed klutz.
    1,908 words · 1,219 views · 157 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Heirloom
    Caramel's family has passed a priceless heirloom from father to son for generations. All he wants to do his carry on the tradition, but sometimes, it's not that easy.
    3,422 words · 191 views · 13 likes · 0 dislikes

Blog Posts (2)


Applejack develops an allergy she never expected to have to deal with, and it could bring shame onto her whole family. She has to cure it, at all costs.

First Published
29th Aug 2012
Last Modified
29th Aug 2012

Comments ( 52 )

#1 · 85w, 18h ago · · ·

:ajsmug:

#2 · 85w, 18h ago · · ·

I predict good things for this story.  Ignore the hating down-thumbers.  This is good.

Some questionable word choice at the start: " a /mangled/ heap of linen and orange fur. Finally extricated from her cozy /shackles/,"  Try "tangled" for the first.  Inconsistent indentation throughout.

"There are very few instances where somepony suddenly develops an allergy to something that they eat quite as frequently as you do.” - I think there are many instances where that happens.

#3 · 85w, 18h ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#4 · 85w, 18h ago · · ·

Yeah....

This is TOTALLY not getting featured.

*Sarcasm*

Props.

#5 · 85w, 18h ago · · ·

>>1177652

Aaaaaaand how did I even miss that indentation thing? :facehoof: Thanks for pointing that out.

Glad you liked the story.

#6 · 85w, 17h ago · · ·

I predict that this is going to the featured box.

#7 · 85w, 17h ago · · ·

>>1177698 I should be more specific: The structure is good.  The size of each section is good.  The pace is good.  A quick setup, denial of the problem, an attempt to solve it, another failed attempt to solve it, resignation, and then an unexpected humorous resolution that was set up from the beginning.

An EqD pre-reader would give you a bunch of line edits - some shifting between AJ speaking out loud and thinking to herself, which is not implausible but is questionable; a lot of POV changes, which is okay if you use third person omniscient throughout; at least one comma joining independent clauses.  But that's all little stuff.

#8 · 85w, 17h ago · · ·

Soooo...Scoot's cooking=PAIN; good to know. :rainbowlaugh:

#9 · 85w, 17h ago · · ·

great, original, story. here is an applejack. :applejackunsure:

#10 · 85w, 15h ago · · ·

>>1177900

The most important point here being that, while not perfect, this story is definitely good.

#12 · 85w, 6h ago · · ·

Haha! Wonderful. Very well done.

#13 · 83w, 6d ago · · ·

Oh, wow... this is epic. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::twilightsmile::facehoof:

#14 · 83w, 4d ago · · ·

Yeah, I'm allergic to peanuts so I know how the whole ordeal feels.

Applejack was fine while literally kicking an apple tree in an apple orchard so I figured it wasn't apple allergy.

(The smell of peanuts literally sting from ten feet away in my case, more so if they're cooked, speaking from personal experience. And mine isn't even the most severe varity... at least I live after eating some as a mistake :pinkiesick:)

#15 · 83w, 4d ago · · ·

The short but entertaining plot of this story would lend itself well to being made into an episode.  In short, well done.

#16 · 83w, 4d ago · · ·

i dont get it

#17 · 83w, 4d ago · · ·

I can totally relate because I'm allergic to apples and didn't develop it until recently!

#18 · 83w, 4d ago · · ·

Great story, but one small note:

Adrenaline is produced naturally in the body and cannot be synthesized. Epinephrine is the synthetic version you get from the doctor.

#19 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

This made me laugh from start to finish. Well done.

#20 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

She hesitated briefly as she made sure her adrenaline was still hidden under her hat. She couldn’t be too careful here.

If she was keeping a syringe under her hat, she obviously wasn't. :applejackconfused:

Amazing story.  This is just the right kind of over the top expressiveness that makes Applejack so much fun.

#21 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

ROFL but if it wasnt the apples what is she allergic to?

#22 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

Ha! Brilliant fic!

#23 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

nananananananananananananananananananana PLOT TWIST!!!

#24 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

That ending make me chuckle.

#25 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

Saw it coming. Was hoping there'd be a bit more explanation with the finale, and I confess I didn't connect the two obvious instances. But, yeah, it's fun. Almost suffers from being TOO short.  Still an A+ story.

#26 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

Oh, Apple Bloom...:ajbemused:

#27 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1177652

I have the unfortunate title of "Unofficial Allergy Expert." It actually is somewhat rarer to develop allergies to things that you eat often. Allergies are caused by the body assuming that food, fur, etc., are dangerous viruses or bacteria that need to be attacked. Therefore, if you ingest something often, the body builds resistance to it. However, that doesn't mean it never happens; it's just somewhat more unusual.

#28 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1243236

So I don't have to cut back on strawberries for fear of developing a strawberry allergy?  This is a serious question.  I'ma gonna eat a lot of strawberries if that's true.

#29 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

Zecora's rhyming gave me a hearty chuckle :trollestia:

#30 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1243478

Does your family have a history of strawberry allergies?

Have you previously had a strawberry allergy?

If so, consult your doctor. If not, chomp away.

#31 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

I was worried for a minute there.

But then I lol'd. :rainbowlaugh:

Oh Applejack... I'm pretty sure you have an addiction.

Also, I agree with GBscientist. This would make a good episode.

#32 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1241776it wasn't the apples she was alergic to but whatever Scootaloo used in cooking it that did it .  once again the CMC's quest to get cutie marks ends in disaster

:derpyderp2::derpytongue2::derpyderp1::derpyderp2::derpytongue2::derpyderp1:

#33 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

Hehe good one :rainbowlaugh:

#34 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

Well, my guess was off. I thought AJ, not paying attention to the taste or most of the appearance of the fruit, had eaten a pear. Nope.

>>1242584 Some spice or other that Zecora had in stock.

#35 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

And yet, we are left with a mystery on our hooves... just what IS Applejack allergic to? :rainbowhuh:


Excellent story! Good work! :ajsmug:

#36 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

Loved that ending. :eeyup:

#37 · 83w, 3d ago · · ·

:pinkiegasp:AHA ,I KNEW SCOOTALOO DID SOMETHING TO THE APPLE!!!

Loved the story by the way.:twilightsmile:

#38 · 83w, 2d ago · · ·

Twilight is best doctor.:twilightblush:

#39 · 83w, 2d ago · · ·

My thoughts during the end :rainbowlaugh:

#40 · 83w, 2d ago · · ·

Well the ending was predictable enough that from the instant she ate Scootaloo's apple, I spent the whole story wondering when she was going to ask just what was on/in that apple. That didn't really hurt the story, though, since it wasn't exactly riding on a surprise ending. Anyway, entertaining little story. I'm not sure why, but something about the bit with the tofu apples hit me just right. Plus it was amusing imagining AJ enjoying her apple far too much at the end.

By the way, have you seen Darn it, Pavlov!? Similar concept, yet pretty different too.

#41 · 82w, 6d ago · · ·
#42 · 82w, 6d ago · · ·

If only my apple allergy would be limited to questionably altered apples.

#43 · 82w, 6d ago · · ·

Those last two lines were impressively good closers to the story :derpytongue2: They made me laugh, ehehe.

#44 · 78w, 5d ago · · ·

Dude, that is. Words can't even. So good. SO GOOD. EHRM. SO AWESOME.

#45 · 61w, 14h ago · · ·

So... wait... it was the spices?

#46 · 61w, 13h ago · 1 · ·

>>2115054

Well, they stole those "spices" from Zecora. As overboard as Scoot went, there's no telling what AJ ended up ingesting.

Cutie Mark Crusader Gourmet Chefs they ain't.

#47 · 58w, 5d ago · · ·

http://twentypercentcooler.net/data/d0/82/d0827bb1ac752301c77d8d6d79951d0a.gif

and that gif fits perfectly

#48 · 56w, 5d ago · · ·

Gya!! I should of known :facehoof:

Scootaloo's apple, Zecora, I can't believe I didn't see that sooner xD

This was fun to read :twilightsmile:

#49 · 50w, 6d ago · 2 · ·

So while it isn't apples Applejack has to worry about, there is SOMETHING she's decidedly allergic to. I think for her sake she should still find out what it is! Especially if it's a part of one of Zecora's medicines.  Seriously it feels like a cheat that we don't find out what she's actually alergic to.

#50 · 49w, 2d ago · · ·

LOL bad applebloom! :applecry:

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