Applejack accidentally makes the best apple pie in existence (well, according to Rainbow, anyway). She just needs to know what it was she friggin' added in it.
Chapters (4)
- Member Since 9th Jun, 2020
- offline last seen Yesterday
SnowOriole
I just don't know what went wrong!
SnowOriole
Joined 9th Jun, 2020 ·
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If Rainbow Dash didn’t like any of pinkie pie’s pies, what makes applejack think she could do better?
10379206
I say that either Rainbow's absolutely smitten with AJ or AJ's pies are just that fabulous. And the traditional vs modern pie distinction. It's probably a combination of both in
real lifethis fic. It depends on your interpretation. I was going to include details like that but it seemed a tad unnecessary.And hey, thanks for reading! That means you're my first! Commenter! Ever! On Fimfiction. This calls for celebration. *confetti rains down on you* Really appreciate it.
Amazingly sweet! The pacing, the writing, the prose... Perfect, just like AJ's pie!
Thanks for writing this story; it's a good one!
This may have been short, but the pacing was spot-on and it was chock full of adorable and funny moments. It's just all-around, top-notch, weapons-grade cute. This is seriously really well done for your first story on the site!
10379636
10380587
Thank you so much! Asjkhsdakla I'm so happy yall like it
This was a very cute little fic and I very much enjoyed it. Hope to see more from you.
This story is sweet in more ways than one, and I enjoyed it. Out of curiosity, what was your writing process like?
10422842
Thank you for the kind words. Well, for a writing process...I started with an idea of what I wanted to happen, and read some similar food-related fanfics for inspiration and reference. Since it's a rather simple idea, I didn't plan much and just improvised as I went along.
I have to say, this is very good for a first story. The pace’s decent, the characters feel like themselves, and your grammar and style are mostly solid, just watch out for any slightly confusing use of ‘she’ when two females are present. Also, I noticed some recurring errors in direct speech, though I’d be surprised if I didn’t—most don’t get it right the first time. I can send you a little guide on that, if you wish.
Furthermore, if you introduce a side remark, don’t do so by using a hyphen followed by a space. The ideal way for this site is either using an em dash (—) or a double hyphen (--) without a space on either side. So, instead of this
it should look like this:
Lastly, it’s far better to separate scenes with some line break, such as the horizontal rule
which you can generate simply by selecting it in the tool bar or by typing [*hr] without the *. The audience clearly understand that, unlike “......” which might mean a lot if things, none of which really fit traditional prose.
10554043
Ah okay, thank you so much! I was wondering how writers did that line break thing.
Wowie. Also, the guide on direct speech would be sweet, I'm always getting confused about that.
10555647
I swear, someone should make a guide/tutorial on how to use that tool bar properly. A lot of users don’t know how to use half of these tools, which is a shame.
You’re welcome!
I’ll PM you the guide in a moment
Excellent story keep up the good work
10760987
Thank youu!!
I only have to know it's written by you to sense this is an amazing story
- just don't know if I will read it yet
10777499
Aww, you flatter me
That... was fun. And I quite liked detective-Rarity. She could sniff out any mystery any day, that was great. And yeah, gotta agree with other comments - the line about RD confessing via Froot Loops was hilarious.
Thank you.
11097168
Thanks, I'm so glad you liked it