• Member Since 19th Jul, 2020
  • offline last seen April 10th

Kitsune_Kenshi


A Kitsune swordman wondering around Equestrian and beyond, having much tales to tell...

Sequels1

T

Jacob Willson, a 25 years old RAF pilot, he was battling over Great Britain when suddenly his plane got shot down. Instead of landing in the ocean, he landed in Equestria. He's not the only human. The Nazis also followed him! Now Jacob must team up with the creatures in this world and save Equestria.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 69 )

This is a great start. The pacing's kind of fast but I can see why. I just have one small note. For scenes like this:

As soon as the word human came out, Twilight and the other's face turned horrified and stepped back. "Humans?" Rainbow Dash asked Twilight, "You means these creatures in myths that walks in two legs?" "I think so," Twilight said, "it said they're evil, but this one seemed friendly enough."

Whenever a new character starts talking, make a new paragraph. Otherwise, this was great, and I'm looking forward to seeing more.

Okay thanks for telling me this. I'll improve it. Thanks again!

Rooming with the student six - a bit forced as the school is supposed to have dormitories, and even if full, Twilight's castle isn't that far away ...

10351193
Well I want Jacob to get to know the Young six first.

There's nothing to improve on at the moment, the pacing is a bit fast but understandable for this kind of story. This was a great chapter, I'm looking forward to seeing more.

Another great chapter. I'm not sure how many you should do, maybe just how many you feel you need to tell the story. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens.

Aside from your grammar, and over the top pacing, its not bad. You even got the armament for the early war Spitfires correct. Try slowing down a bit. give the reader more details in what's happening in the world. It adds to the immersion and sucks the readers in deeper.

I just hope you actually portray the Luftwaffe, and National Socialist regime as a whole correctly. So many people get it wrong its actually disappointing(My family just barely survived Nazi Germany and the war, so I've heard plenty of stories from those who were there). Fiction based on History is all well and good, but If the history isn't accurate, and this is just me personally, then it ruins my immersion into what I'm reading.

That was a fantastic chapter, though it's sad about all the casualties. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Thank you for the comment, it is indeed very brutal. The fact that war is always merciless, cold-blooded, and bloody. And yes, I'll make more if I have time.

The pilot didn't jumped out? I expected the plane to burst into explosion upon impact.

10353405
The plane crash LANDED. it's a hard landing, it slid, not fall onto the ground head first. The plane is just badly broken, not blow up. And also, if the fuel is leaking, then it needs sparks to ignite it. But it the paragraph, I said that the pilot landed in the grass, which make no sparks. So the pilot survived. Lucky him.

10353410
I am sorry, if it was a large plane like B 17 I would have believe it.

10353440
Its alright. Feel free to ask any question.

Actually, I was thinking adding a B-17 in my next story.

awesome chapter cant wait for next chapter

Wow, this is very intriguing :moustache:

Hey, it's shown it's updated but I can't see a chapter...is it just my computer or...?

10360304
I unpublished it so I can edit the new chapter, but don't worry it's gonna come out soon.

Nazis haven’t killed millions yet at this point. Though they are on their way of killing millions.

10360312
Oh. Okay then. Looking forward to it!

By the way guys, you can visit Wattpad, I have lots of stories in there too

Can anyone suggest me some MLP encouraging songs? I needed one for my new chapter. Thanks!

Thank you! I will, but it won't be that fast because I got classes.

Another great chapter! Sorry I didn't see this sooner, can't wait for the next one!

That was awesome! Can't wait to see what happens next!

You know to do research on what 1940 German soldiers had. Panzerfausts were not invented yet and earlier you said that Germany had 250 million soldiers. That is absurd and Germany at most had 2.5 million men in 1940.

Hm, Nazis wanting to conquer Equestria is far more believable than the British wanting to defend it. (British needed the help of Americans to crack German subs) The British pilot is way to quick to give up the blueprints of his plane to some ponies. Colonialism I guess. Not sure that I buy that they let student six on the battlefield either.

The German bombs during WW2 were SC-250, as a rule of thumb their mass was about 250 kg (or 550 pounds).

10381797
He he I know, I did this on purpose... you'll find out why once I finish up this book and start the sequel.

Comment posted by Kitsune_Kenshi deleted Sep 6th, 2020

Alright! Another update complete! I'm wrapping this story up, just one or two more chapter and this is done! Don't worry, I'm planning a sequel.

This is a great new chapter! I love the action!

awesome chapter gallus should be put in for the pink heart of courage or the victorian cross for his heroic actions and applejack silverstream the purple heart:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:cant wait for the next chapter

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awesome chapter gallus should be put in for the pink heart of courage or the victorian cross for his heroic actions and applejack silverstream the purple heart:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:cant wait for the next chapter

Ooh! Great ending! Can't wait to see the sequel!

awesome chapter my friend cant wait for the sequel keep it up:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

That sequel will deal with the Storm King.

10422795
no, because this story take place in Season 8 and the sequel takes place 20 years after season 9. Storm King is in between Season 7 and 8

The first of many stories is finished. Congratulations.

POGGERS SPACE NAZIS

"That's a warplane; Supermarine Spitfire MK.V" Jacob explained, "Armed with six 7.7m machine guns. It's built for Aerial Warfares."

An earlier section of text stated that Jacob was flying during the Battle of Britain, which was from 10th July to 31st October 1940. The Spitfire MKV entered service in 1942. During the Battle of Britain, the MKII and MKIII variants were in service.

10381797
Not only that, Jacob is stated to be flying a Spitfire MKV. Those didn't enter service until 1942.

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