Ranger Takes on Equestria

by I aint no damn brownie

Only the Beginning

“Hey, Fluttershy?” Twilight said, knocking on Fluttershy’s door.

After the sounds of multiple locks unlocking, a butter-colored Pegasus is at the door. “Yes, Twilight? What is it?”

“May I come inside? I think I left something here last time I visited.” She explained, blushing slightly.

“O-oh, well, sure. But.. hasn’t it been a couple days since you last came over?” She asked. Twilight coughed nervously.

“Oh, yeah. I just remembered it was here. I had been distracted.” She said on the spot.

“That.. makes sense. I can understand that. So where would it be?” Fluttershy asked, taking a glance around.

“Well, you check that room, and I’ll look over in this one. I don’t actually recall where it is. All I know is that it’s here.” Twilight said, turning around. Fluttershy did the same.

Twilight turned back around, and shot a spell at Fluttershy.

“Eep! Twilight, what... what did.. you..” She fell to the floor, unconscious.

A sleep spell. Relatively easy to learn. Actually, dangerously easy to learn. That should be a more difficult spell.

“Ay, Ricky!” ‘Twilight’ yelled, and a bug-looking pony came through a nearby window.

‘Twilight’ pointed to Fluttershy, and Ricky nodded. He took the form of the Pegasus.

“Ay, Bubbles!” Ricky yelled, and another changeling came through the window. Ricky pointed to the unconscious pegasus.

Bubbles nodded, picked up and cloaked Fluttershy with his magic, and flew off. Not before smashing into the windowsill though.

Fuck!

‘Twilight’ nodded to ‘Fluttershy’, and they left the house. The animals had all been outside, so they didn’t suspect a thing.

“Hey, Rarity?”

“H-Hello, Rainbow?”

“Applejack! Open up!”

“Pinkie Pie? Yah in there?”

Each one had been taken out, replaced by their own Changeling.

The ‘Mane Six’ walked out of Sugarcube Corner, smiling. It was all going as planned. ‘Fluttershy’ turned to ‘Twilight.’

“Alright, Twilight. It’s all up to you. Think you can do it?” ‘Fluttershy’ said, patting ‘Twilight’ on the shoulder.

“Tartarus yeah I can.”

Anyone in the surrounding area stared at Princess Twilight, most gaping, while some applauded. They had heard the Princess swear! Incredible!

---

Jirard turned to the ‘Guard’ next to him.

“You think everyone is getting their job done?” Jirard asked.

“Hopefully. The Princesses haven’t called any national emergency yet, and no explosions. So I’m guessing nobody’s been caught. Our Queen will be so happy with us.” He said, smiling slightly.

Jirard smiled too.

They had been working on replacing the royal guard, from the inside and out. It wasn’t... it wasn’t that hard. They were all so separated that it wasn’t hard to knock them all out and replace them.

Something was up. It was too easy.

Jirard knocks on a wooden desk right next to him. Lorenzo, the ‘guard’ next to him, tilted his head.

“What was that?”

“I don’t wanna jinx it.”

“Good call.”

---

“There’s this really good coffee place down the street that I wanted to show you.” Luna said to me as we walked through Canterlot.

“Hm. The Princess is trying to take the weird beast on a date? How scandalous!” I joked, chuckling slightly when Luna blushed. She punched me.

Some nobles started muttering to each other.

“This is just a friendly outing!” She insisted. The nobles shrugged.

I started laughing even more.

“It’s not funny!” Luna said, blushing even more.

It’s quite funny.

“Whatever! Anyway, this is the place.” She said.

I looked up at the sign. ‘Corsage Café’ it read.

What the fuck is a corsage? Is that one of those prom flower things? I never went to prom.

Luna started walking inside, and I ran to catch up. I opened the door for her.

“Thank you. What a gentlecolt.” She joked. I raised an eyebrow.

“You mean Gentleman?” I asked. She tilted her head.

“No? Gentlecolt. Oh, whatever. Cultural differences. You understand.” Luna said, and walked up to the cashier. I followed.

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, dumbass. Of course she meant Gentleman.

“May I please get a coffee and one blueberry scone?” Luna asked the Stallion behind the counter. He nervously nodded his head.

“O-of course. Anything else, Princess?”

“No thank you. Trent?” She asked. I nodded, and stepped up to the plate.

“Can I please just get a coffee?” I asked. Simple request. If they fuck it up, somebody is getting an ass-whooping.

He nodded, and Luna took out some gold coins. Is that their currency here?

The stallion left to go make the drinks, and I sat down with Luna.

“So, Trent, have you been having good dreams recently?” Luna asked.

“Luna, you can see my dreams.”

“I know!” She giggled. Damn, that was pretty cute.

“So how’s this whole Princess thing going?” I asked, knowing what I just got myself into.

“Well.. it’s nice. Stressful, but.. nice. My subjects don’t really, well, respect me as much as Celestia. But I don’t blame them. I did turn into an evil monster for a while..”

“Wait, what?” I asked. Evil monster? I doubt it. Luna’s too nice.

“Did I not tell you?”

“Fuck no you didn’t tell me!”

“Oh, well. It all started when...”

Luna proceeded to tell me the story of Nightmare Moon.

Now, I’m not gonna go over that. It’s in the history books if you wanna look for yourself.

“And that’s the whole story.” Luna finished.

I stared in shock. Damn, how was I supposed to process this? That was a huge knowledge bomb.

“You.. you don’t think less of me, do you?” She asked, her eyes gaining a sheen. She looked like she was going to cry. Fuck!

“No, of course not. Sure, that’s a lot of info, and I kindof think differently of you.. but you’re still my friend. You’ve proved to me that you’re nothing like this ‘Nigtmare Moon’ through your actions. I teleport into your bed out of nowhere, and instead of being angry, you help me out. You give me a job and a home. No matter what you do, no matter what your past looks like, I’ll be your friend.” I finished. Luna smiled, wiping away a tear.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, Hey. Let’s not get all sappy, yeah? Let’s just enjoy the coffee.”

I took a sip. Damn! It’s cold!

Luna fired a spell at the coffee, reheating it. How the fuck- oh wait, magic alicorn horse lady. She can do pretty much anything.

Damn, I need to get a real head on my shoulders. Most of my time here has just been spent with me getting confused at everything.

I should read up on magic or something.

---

Prince Blueblood put the toothbrush back on his bathroom counter.

Wiping his mouth on a nearby hoof towel, he exited the restroom. He walked over to his bed and switched off the lights with magic.

Climbing into his blanket, he sighed.

KNOCK KNOCK

Oh, damn it.

He groaned, got up, and walked to his door. He opened it to find one of his guards.

“North Star? What is it?” He asked, slightly annoyed.

“May I come in, sir? We got reports of something trying to sneak into the castle, so I was ordered to investigate your room for any sign of the mystery guest.” North Star explained.

Blueblood nodded. “Of course, go ahead.”

He stepped out of the way, and closed the door after North. North Star turned around and fired a spell at Blueblood, who dodged it.

“What the buck?!” Blueblood yelled.

He scrambled to his feet, charging up a spell of his own. Blueblood wasn’t that well-versed in magic, but he knew defensive and offensive spells. He was just hoping to put North to sleep, to hopefully figure out what was up with him.

North fired another blast. Blueblood dodged one more time, firing his own spell. North ducked under it.

Blueblood fired to the right of North, and North luckily took the bait.

North dodged right into the sleep spell, and tried to keep his balance. He failed at this task, and fell to the floor.

Suddenly, he changed. Going from a white-colored royal guard, into a bug-like creature.

“No... no way! They’re back!” Blueblood yelled. “I have to warn-“

CLANG!

Blueblood fell to the floor.

‘Twilight’ stood behind the body, levitating a shovel.

“Let’s go. Gene, take his form, and Bobby?”

“Yes?”

“Take his body to base.”

“Aye-aye.”

Bobby flew out of a nearby window, holding Blueblood while cloaked. Ricky nodded to the ‘Mane 6’, and they ran off, looking for a certain Blue Alicorn’s chambers.

“First Luna, then Celestia. At that point, we’re home free!” Ricky said, leading the group to her bedroom.

...

Blueblood crawled out from under his bed.

Dead ringer. A spell that allows the user to fake their death/fake unconsciousness.

He heard the hoofsteps from a mile away. It wasn’t hard to know that there were more ponies coming from behind.

“Alright.. I have to go help the others!” He said to himself, charging through his bedroom doors.

---

“Lyra, look at him. He’s harmless.” I said, picking up the spider. I held it in my hands.

Lyra shook where she stood. “Harmless.. harmless..” She muttered, taking deep breaths.

“Hold out your hoof.” I asked. She complied.

I set the spider on her hoof, and it crawled around a little bit before settling down.

“See? It’s just a little guy. They can’t do any harm.”

“I don’t-“ she shivered when it moved slightly.

“Lyra, have you died?”

“N-no?”

“Has it bitten you?”

“...no.”

I raised my eyebrows at her, and gestured my head to the spider.

“Hehe.. haha!! You’re right! What was I thinking?!” Lyra laughed. “Thank you, Trent!” She yelled.

I nodded, and turned to Luna.

“Good job, Trent. I-“ she stopped talking, her ear twitching.

“Somethings happening up there. and it doesn’t sound good.” She said quickly.

I nodded, an I willed myself awake immediately.

I tossed on my armor, grabbed my shotgun, and rushed to Luna’s room. I heard the clattering from across the hall.

I busted down the door, and cocked my shotgun.

Luna stood there.

“Ah, Trent McClane. How nice to see you. Did you need something?”

“Luna..? Are you alright?” I asked. Something was off.

“Never better!”

She looked at my shotgun.

“What’s that?” She asked.

I looked into her eyes. They were glazed over, and had a barely noticeable green tint.

Okay.

I turned off the safety and blasted her head off. Green blood sprayed on a nearby wall as her body fell to the floor.

She changed into a bug. As I thought.

When I had read up on magic, I also took the time to study other creatures from Equestria. There were these things called ‘changelings’ that could take the form of anybody, with the only difference being the eyes.

Although, I felt sick thinking about the fact that I basically just shot Luna.

“Trent!” I heard someone yell. I turned to look at where the voice came from. I spotted a white stallion with a blonde mane.

“Blueblood?” I asked. He tackled me to the floor, just as a spell flew over our heads.

“Get to cover!” He yelled.

I crawled over to Luna’s bed and hid behind it, Blueblood following soon after. I looked over the bed and saw that it was a couple royal guards.

I was about to call out to them, but Blueblood stuck a hoof on my mouth.

“Those aren’t guards!” He whispered. I nodded.

The guards kept firing, and I jumped up from my cover.

I shot one of them in the head, and the other tried to hit me again. I ducked back under the cover as he fired the spell. I jumped out of cover and shot one more time, hitting the other guard in the leg. He fell to the floor, clutching it. I walked up to him and blasted his head away.

Both turned into bugs. Shit. How many guards did they replace?

And where was Luna?

“Oh, guess my help wasn’t.. needed.” Blueblood breathed heavily, clearly exhausted. Had he ran the entire length of the castle to this room?

Blueblood’s room was on the opposite side of the castle!

“No, I’d say you were pretty helpful. But let’s go! We have to go warn Celestia!” I yelled, and ran out of Luna’s chambers.

I feel bad that he had to run more, but this was pretty important. Luna may have fallen victim already, but that doesn’t mean we can’t help the other Princess.

Blueblood groaned, and followed after me.

Author's Note:

LOOK Gordon! A Rope! We can use- HELP ME GORDON!!!

sorry for all the line breaks

there were too many transitions and perspective changes in this chapter

Comments

[Shattered_Moon]

Damnit Dr. Coomer! Those aren't ropes!

[I aint no damn brownie]

10360694
Hello Gordon!

[Hambone2005]

Great chapter. 👍