Page generated in 0.031 seconds
Total duration
796 users online
523,393 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Oh dear that ending...
Brimstone lifts.
Well shit...
2219988
This.
wat.
what the heck man?!
Oh man.. Murky actually died wow that was really sad .
...wat?
wow...just...wow
What
The
Fuck.
I cannot accept this ending.
I grant that it is very well done, and the abruptness of it was very well played. However it feels very disappointing to end like this.
Reload last save and try again.
You magnificent bastard. That was so well delivered that I just can't express it. I hit those words and just stopped reading for about 5~10 seconds, knowing who those words were aimed at.
I just feel that...I mean it's like...And then he...
Good job
I honestly didn't expect Brim to get out of The Pit alive.
And I even less expected that ending.
I wonder what consequences that will bring, be it from The Master because his "property" got damaged or for Murks' already damaged psyche.
Looking forward to how you want to get him out there alive.
But seriously, there soon has to happen a little good to him. It can't go on like that forever.
Your a monster, ya know that? Making such an amazing story just to go cliffhangrs on us! CURSE YOU YOU WONDERFULLY HORRIBLE AUTHOR
2219988 do you even lift?
Ermm
if this is the ending could you errmm tell us?
lol
2224808
If it were then the google docs page wouldn't have a due date for the next chapter. This is the only thing that saved me from losing my mind at that chapter ending.
Still Fuzzy... what the hell!?
Your story has made me realize one thing though. I can't get a good night's sleep unless I'm completely emotionally drained.
Thanks for helping me sleep at night you evil pony you.
SO MUCH RAGE!! (i thought this might happen being fallout)
***SPOILERS IN IMAGE***
This is what you do Fuzzy. I didn't even notice this last night, but then I turn on my kindle and this is what greets me.
i.imgur.com/bdjjMes.jpg
Instant depression. Couldn't make myself close it to continue another story.
I hope you are happy with yourself.
2225675
Don't get me wrong though. I absolutely love your story and I think you are a fantastic writer. It's why I'm so pissed off and upset about that chapter since you made me care about the characters so much and then stuff like that happens.
FUZZY!?
The link you gave me, sadly, didn't work.
Now, I'm almost glad it didn't... I don't know what to feel about this. Not anger, not sadness, I just feel as if everything I loved about the story was ripped from me. I won't stop reading, not by any means, I just, for once, absolutely hoped for predictability. I can't comprehend what's going through my head right now, but I think I'm just trying to let it sink in.
I have no idea where the story will go from here. I thought the 16 ending left me hanging but this... The cliff fell away before I could truly grasp it.
But, on a side note, thanks for doing everything you could to get the story to me and letting me use some of your characters for references.
Can't wait to read more.
2225675
Hahaha, oh geez that's horrible to see! More proof that Kindles are a secret invasion of emotional hurt. I am merely their puppet, I swear!
Well, March 22nd for Chapter 18. Tis all I can say!
2225751
It's no problem, I always try my best to get them out to folks. End of the day you all do ME the favour by taking time to check it out, not the other way around. So it is the least I can do. :)
2225862
So I've got sixteen days til I can use my kindle again.
Let's see...
Wildcard has
- Killed the most powerful and influential slave boss's punching bag
- Killed the main doctor's friend
- Killed a major source of income (and new business possibilities) for one of the most influential merchants in the slave's market
- Possibly infuriated an untold number of bad ponies who were looking forward to "renting" Murky
- Definitely infuriated an untold number of good ponies who were friends with Murky.
- Killed his former warlord's close friend
Looks like Wildcard has managed to make himself poni non grata with a significant portion of the city's denizens. He may be a powerful psychopath, but even bad-ass raiders need a cadre to watch their back; you cannot stay awake 24/7. Desperate fury can incubate all sorts of subtle creativity...
Looking forward to the next chapter.
(I cannot get this out of my head)
I'm gonna cry, cause now I see that he was talking to Luna the whole time and he never escaped and he never got to see LilPip's victory and and and........
2227332
There's room in the FO:E universe for Luna since the whole dreamwalking thing with her. She could potentially be trapped in the dreamworld after dying, visiting ponies dreams to watch over them at night, just as Celestia is trapped in that tower watching them in the day. I don't think this is where Fuzzy is going, but it would be neat if he were talking to her this whole time, thinking he was dead, and then she tells him he's dreaming. It would also be interesting for a parallel of Littlepip's scene with Celestia where she explains that she's not a goddess and why she is where she is.
2227394
You posted this after finishing chapter 8 yes? Well keep reading, the characters get fleshed out quite a bit more. And I know what you are talking about with the Sunny thing, but don't fret over it.
Fuzzy, your elevator has crashed! Here I was thinking that the shaft was bottomless and the cable still holding some integrity, but that is no longer the case. Other FOE series have used such an ending to denote the death of a character (most similarly FOE:PH), but brought them back. Personally, I hope Murk's dead, and he stays that way.
Why? Because it only gets worse. His past history, his ability to build up a small, vulnerable speck of hope or comfort has been often annihilated. Hope springs eternal, and so does misery (Thanks, Fuzzy!). Even if he does survive (which is extremely unlikely due to his small size, malnourished constitution, and the massive damage inflicted), it's likely that he'd lose the use of large parts of his body. If Murk does survive any of this, it will be due to Red Eye stepping in, or perhaps worse than death if Shackles decides to keep his pet alive. (If the second is the case, I'm expecting Shackles to decide that Murk does not need certain body parts, and give himself direct control over Murk's corporeal form. TONS of potential for body horror, and lots of psychological torment to boot: this would be Shackle's ultimate plaything.)
Whoever decides to resurrect / resuscitate Murk will decide his fate, if that choice is indeed made. There is a chance that Shackles did not intend for Murky to actually get dragged into the ring (bandits working under the radar), but I find it much more likely that if Shackles is responsible for bringing him back, he will do so in a horrifying manner. Murky's dead to all those who could care about him, unless he makes it out quick. I think Shackles is smart enough to foresee that, and at minimum would build in a tracking device while reviving Murky, if not actual physical deterrents or an 'off' switch to paralyze movement.
I do realize that much of this is speculation, and you keep a healthy backlog running which makes much of what I've said moot. With that said, I find myself hoping every time I see an update that it's a rest chapter (for myself and the runty protagonist) where he is finally allowed to heal. Even when it seems a chapter may end this way, events transpire which cause hopes to plummet (sometimes with accompanying corporeal forms). Frankly, it hurts for me to read the story now, as every up in fortune has been crushed by a calamity four times that. (I will note that there was an exception when Murky killed Barb- that ended triumphantly, but even that achievement has come back to bite him in the ass.)
It hurts because I still root for Murky, and against such an overwhelming foes, environment and circumstances. I root for the malnourished, frightened and almost-broken protagonist even when he is facing off against something he knows he can't conceivably defeat. (He might as well attempt to wrestle with mecha-robo-undead-ninja deathclaws who pack laser-guided, heatseeking tactical
nukesbalefire weaponry in space.) What I hope for is not a superbowl underdog to best their impregnable rival's ending streak, but closer to a team of 3 years olds playing T-ball to beat a team composed of everyone in the baseball hall of fame. It's not going to happen, at least not without a miracle, and those certainly don't ever happen to hit Murky.With what's happened in this chapter to emphasize the need to pursue one's natural abilities or gifts (birthrights too) brought out in Brim, the same message applied to Murk connotes terrifying things. We don't want him to be a slave, he (mostly) doesn't want to be a slave, but every message is to the contrary (it's what my cutie mark is telling me).
Realistically, the only way for Murky to have a positive (*read: not utterly soul destroying as soon as he awakes*) revival is if he is either entered into Unity (where he might meet Unity again, but on the other hand would be forced to assimilate into the hive mind and suffer under Trixie), or undergoes a revival at the behest of Red Eye. The first is unlikely due to the fact that Murky is not an Alicorn, and the second ain't gonna happen the way Brim publicly scorned Red Eye's gift of freedom. Maybe if Brim grovels, or makes an incredibly binding promise to Red Eye it would be possible for Murky to be treated under him. If this is the case, I find it likely that Murky would find out what's up with Protege.
All things considered, this isn't going to be pretty. Lots of speculation, lots of sadness, and not a lot of hope for Murky. Poor guy is pretty much bucked. I'll continue because I love the style and seeing your techniques, and because I have a wanton disregard for just how sad reading the next chapter will make me. (This chapter made my chest physically ache, so kudos where they are due.)
TLDR: SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS!
2227671 I hope you are right. I like this story so much and I would be sad if it ended.
2227027
Wildcard certainly has put himself in an interesting position...provided anypony finds out precisely that it -was- him that worked Murky in there anyway. :p
2227394
Thanks, Pacce. Chapter 8 was running on the momentum of my personal fav (Chapter 7) so I feel that does show. Originally in the plans it was in more linear order but I just hated how it had all the action in the first half, then ages of talking to Minstrel that just killed it. Toying with the pacing really helped to keep it more interesting throughout, I like to think!
Whatdya mean those griffins not doing anything and not deservin' what they got? Flyin' rats the lot of them! Muahahaha... (I jest, love their design)
You are correct with the Sunny thing. Chapter 9 has a clarification in it. Essentially, Murky thought she had died as did Minstrel, by assumption of being left with Shackles when Murky ran off. The edit hasn't happened till now because I didn't want to retroactively change it while still too close to chapter 8's release. (That decision being made on chapter 9's release, hence the clarification in it) but now that we are in the future (yay) and a lot further on from Chapter 8 now...I think the time could indeed be far enough separated from its release to investigate the change. Thanks for pointing it out, it's handy to have people still noting that from it, helps remind me that yeah it could still use some stuff.
The whole "lifting from Fallout" isn't something I normally use, pretty much to allow me to use scenes like this. To my mind, using NV's intro word for near word was effectively to try and convey a "new start" very clearly to the readers. To play to their familiar knowing of this scene and have a little fun with taking it in a completely different direction to subvert those expectations. It seems the ratio of those who figured him out to those who were caught out while reading it about 1:4, so I'd say it was a positive, while still allowing space for folks like you who spotted him to pass that perception test, you could say. ;)
2228296
Interestingly, that sort of feeling is what should be coming out, conflicting the point of even trying any more. The search for hope and the will to go on when all of life tells you that you cannot is paramount to this story, something I feel can be reflected in real life as well. I can't say too much to your huge post I'm afraid due to the considerations of spoilers, but thanks for the forthright viewpoint and I can only say...March 22nd. :p
2228801
My wall of text was mainly musings on the direction you might take the story. Unfortunately, it's not super useful nor likely to be accurate, as I'm notoriously bad at predicting the future. At the very least though, it may illustrate what a reader might begin to predict with such an ending.
Onto items that you may talk about then! I have to say, despite Wildcard (presumably) murdering Murky, I really do like him. Though absolutely dangerous, deranged and having a decidedly disturbed mental state, he's been one of the few sources of comedy during this story. Did you intend to make him come across as affably evil? (Crawling between Murky and Glimmerlight to wake them up a singsong greeting, the bit about houses screaming, and his general predatory playfulness.) Frankly, he seemed to inject some much-needed levity into the story even though he's one scary, scary character- he seems very close to Heath Ledger's Joker. I seem to get the feel that you could dress him in drag and it would fit, as he's bizarre and crazy enough to do it.
I realize that he's a sociopath, but you're walking a very fine line with him: he has moments of randomness, and almost childish fantasy amid terrifying and calculated statements ("I remember your scream. I don't cut it out of my head, no...") and violent rage. (Side note, the use of 'cut it out of my head' here may be more than a metaphor with all the emphasis put on the massive amount of facial scarring. Frankly, that wouldn't surprise me.)
Also pertaining to Wildcard, and the original hierarchy of Raiders under Brimstone: Was there an established pecking order underneath Brim, or was it all equals (minus Diamond presumably)? To the best of my knowledge, this has never been elaborated on.
Finally, I've noticed that Wildcard is incredibly aware of the fourth wall and seems to be the only character in the Pit to know it exists. Are some of his comments supposed to be to the crowd as a type of proxy for the audience, or is he legitimately breaking down the barriers between the story and the reader? I understand it could be both, but his more pointed comments (especially when he leans in to whisper to Murky) could not have been audible to a cheering horde. This is counterbalanced by the fact that there is no break in the 4th wall during his first conversation with Murky and Glimmer. If indeed he is aware he is breaking the fourth wall and providing a meta commentary, can we expect more of it? (Technically answering this wouldn't be a spoiler, as long as an explanation does not cover a major plot point.)
Thank you for not spoiling, mate! I can't imagine how hard it would be not to spill info on what's to come.
2231791
Wildcard is precisely that, someone who I want the viewer to sort of go "Ha...ha...ha?" with. To laugh at their antics but at the same time realise that laughing with him could end up being laughing as something truly scary for the characters. He blurs a line and while I can't say he'll do that in every chapter consistently, I like the breadth it gives him. Shackles is a pretty uni-direction al character. He's not supposed to be an incredibly deep villain or offering much other than allowing people to simply hate him. He is pretty much more a personification of slavery rather than anything unto himself. Wildcard was initially concieved to offer something more varied as a villain alongside Shackles. (Whos impact in the story is less villain and more thematic)
So you're absolutely right that he should waver between things be it silly random moments or times when he's genuinelly scary. It's not easy to write, but very satisfying and I think noting Ledger is perhaps a good analogy of someone we both laughed with and felt intimidated by. Ledger's Joker wasn't in my mind when I designed Wildcard...but it's still a good comparison.
The peking order was sort of hinted at through character stuff, but in general it went Brimstone - Big Brutus - Wildcard - Barb - Diamond. Brim states that Brutus was the real challenger for potential leadership and had the clan continued on would likely have been the one to finally best Brimstone as he got older and slower. Wildcard is just a solid fighter and planned despite his insanity (his plan with the Shades in the Pit or how he outflanked Murky and Sunny etc) and repeatedly (again as Brim said) fought the leader just for fun. Barb had a ton of ambition but was ultimately one of the smaller ponies there and relied more on backstabbing than right up combat. It's occasionally hinted the others of the Big Four made fun of him for his size. The last of course is Diamond, given he wasn't a fighter and had no ambition, being one of the Big Four simply on Brimstone's decision for his importance.
As for Wildcard's meta (I always need to typo check to make sure I don't type Wildfire!) stuff...it's as much as people want to believe. He's had two moments, the first being when he was whistling in Chapter 15. If you piece together his beats, it's the MLP theme tune. But it could also be anything if the reader felt it. Of course there is his Pit moment, but whether he is talking about the crowd or the reader is, again, up to the reader. I like him to have that meta element brought on by his insanity...but I don't want to force it on those who don't want it. I feel that being a little more subtle and making people unsure is perhaps the better side of his character.
first of all murky is not dead it did not say dead like ph more liely he is gravenly injured
second when i see wildcards knowledge of storytelling coupled with his insanity i see deadpool
rhat is all continue on
I finished reading this in a spot where I didn't have internet, so my thoughts are in retrospect.
***
I want to quit, now. I can't remember the last time I read something so terribly depressing. I mean, I know Murky is almost certainly not dead, but it's not like any other Fo:E story where there's always something positive around the corner. It's just a dark, endless tunnel.
I remember how optimistic I was during the first eight chapters. Now it's just... I don't even know.
Well, looking forward to March 22.
2227027
All I have to say is
Do you think Wildcard gives a fuck?
2219988
Echo needs to start lifting.
Don't tell me the voices interviewing him at the beginning of each chapter are the freakin' Goddesses, like he said in his little talk with Brim..
Great. Now I am going to read the rest of these chapters with a cloying little thought in the back of my head he's being killed off early. It just... makes so much sense with the little information we have to go on.
Less than a week now...
Normally I would just be content to read other stuff until the pleasant surprise of seeing an update for this story, but that last chapter has kicked it up to addiction levels of anxiety and cravings for my next 'fix'.
C'mon man, I know you got the hook up. Gimme my fix. I need my fix.
Am I the only one who didn't give a fuck about the ending? Because I know it didn't phase me at all.
2255968 yes
2256872
Well, that settles it. I'm a motherfucker with a cold heart.
I must applaud you for writing a series of collective battle scenes and making them flow together so well, it's not an easy task (especially if you try to make them too flashy and outrageously choreographed that they just come off as shonen-inspired). Can you tell us though if this is truly the ending or if Murky will still be alive? I do notice the story is still listed as 'incomplete'
2259324 check the hub page as far as i know he planed it all the way to chapter 27 so this probably isn't the end for our heroic protagonist.
2261574
Yup, directly off of the G-Docs hub page.
Chapter 18: (Complete!) (Due 22nd march, 2013)
Chapter 19: (Writing in Progress...)
Detailed Planning Complete to Chapter 22. Rough Planning complete to Chapter 27
Also upon copying that, I realize that I have been thinking the 18th for the chapter release, probably out of desperation. Woe is me.
...What...
...
...I...just...
...
...What?...
...
...It can't end this way, and I doubt it will, but still...poor Murk...
(Totally called Brim's battle ending with the mine the moment Bonecrusher walked in.)
I'm used to this story lovingly slicing my heart bit by bit with a rusty razor blade by now, but that was unexpected. An excellently rendered scene engendering sudden emotional responses I wasn't expecting to have drawn from me. The scene strikes me as odd on many levels, however. The fact that Red Eye looked calmly down on a drawn out brutalizing and eventual killing of an unwilling entrant in his little arena, an entrant who he has expressed an interest in keeping alive to be used for his purposes. If Red Eye didn't want it to happen, it wouldn't have, so I have to assume that this is actually some kind of double game on his part. Although, there aren't many reasons he would need to make people think Murky was dead that he had to make it happen in such a spectacular and widely witnessed manner. I guess he could be planning on reviving him and disguising him in some manner, possibly to the extent of cutting off his wings (Pegasi don't need wings to manipulate clouds, which is what i assume Red Eye plans for Murky, although that doesn't make too much sense considering Griffins can manipulate clouds as well. For all I know Murky might have some genetic key required for male Alicorns. Genetic samples from a rare male pegasi needed to create a male mixture of the three pony races).
Argh, it cut me deep, this chapter did. Using Wild Card as essentially a mouthpiece through his madness to break the fourth wall and speak directly to the readers made it all the more poignant, basically saying through him that you could kill Murky off any time you wanted to, no matter all the evidence towards the fact that he survives the story. All those interviews at the beginning of each chapter could be being told by a brain in a glass jar for all we know, although it'd be strange considering how much he mentions he's crying. It'd be unlikely that he's a ghoul, seeing as ghouls don't get back up after they die from injuries, they get massively irradiated to the point of dying and their bodies are mutated in such a fashion that normal bodily functions used to power the body (eating, sleeping, breathing, minute radiation absorbed from the sun and other sources) are replaced by directly powering said functions with absorbed radiation. Well, I think that's how it works anyway, but regardless, from observation and reading lore, people that die before they are ghouls from sources other than massive radiation poisoning don't then become ghouls.
Anyway, what I'm trying to get at, in probably a far more round about way than I had to, is that that was dirty Mr. Author, and I don't believe Murky is dead for a minute. But damn, when I read the end of the chapter, my stomach hit my feet and my heart ripped in half.
I really do have to commend you on the fighting scenes as well, those tend to be extremely hard to write, especially having so many fighters/corpses/obstacles to keep track of. Just remembering the positioning of everything can be a pain without a physical representation to be able to look back on as a guide. I usually use my terrible drawing skills
As usual, I'm of course looking forward to and in equal parts dreading the next chapter. Even if you're gonna be a big meanie-pants McMeanie mean pony and have your way with Murky in an even more brutal fashion than usual. Even if the next chapter is completely in the perspective of another character, and they don't know if Murky is alive, or even assume he's dead. Even if the Hoofington core fires its lazer and wipes out a half-mile thick line straight down the middle of Fillydelphia, or some other nonsensical madness. Because eventually I want to see Murky win, and maybe finally realize that those manacles tattooed on his ass are open for a reason. So, I guess I Hope Murky's alive, and I guess I hope we find out in the next chapter.
...If I only get one of those I'll take the former.
Every time I finish a chapter, I have to rush over to my computer and listen to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQru7oCdYXA&list=PL502D619A7476AC85
It just beautifully suits how much I'm rooting for poor lil Murky.
Uuaaagh... I was going to suggest the Hulk theme as the theme of Brim and Bloodstone's fight, but that ending...
I had iTunes on random selection while reading this chapter.
As soon as the Brim fight ended, 'We Are the Champions" started playing. It was glorious.
As soon as Murky's fight ended, "Imagine" started playing. I almost fell to tears.
Hm...
I was pretty sure Brim was gonna die when the bar mine hadn't gotten a mention in a while. Was thinking the story would mention it as a constant reminder if it was an obstacle he were to overcome like with the proximity mines. With the lack of mention in a long time I started figuring the only likely way it would take part was a 'surprise death'. Then when the buffalo appeared though I knew what the bar mine was for instantly. But I still felt it was very possible Brimstone could be dead by the end of this chapter.
Knew he'd turn down Red Eye's offer, but he could have helped his friends more if he'd taken it.
With Murky... I felt he couldn't die. Impossibility through limits of storytelling. He's the main character. Plot-shielding and all. But after that ending... I'm starting to feel it could easily pull an "Attack on Titans" moment and intend for the reader to think the main character is immune to death... only to slam it home that even the one main protagonist isn't shielded. I wouldn't bet money on this though since the story is named "Murky Number Seven."
If that did happen though I figure Coral would be switch to being the new protagonist. Mostly because there's more to write about from her angle than Brim on a constant. Glimmer though... she has alot to write about from this point to learning her past.
About Diamond... I'm getting the feeling he probably wasn't a bad guy. I could totally be wrong about that, but I'm betting he was more complex than just "silver tongued bastard that tricked Glimmerlight."
Hot damn, this chapter was intense.
However, it still suffers from the grammar flu.
I believe it should be 'scrapped'
Seems like an incomplete sentence.
These are both declarative sentences and they should have periods?
-