“Aunt Holiday! Auntie Lofty!” Scootaloo called just as the four of us made our way out of the building. I watched her quickly run up to two… ponies and ask, “What are you two doing here?”
I watched two of them, one a pegasus and the other a normal pony, smile and make their way up to her. The latter looked like she was a bit on the heavier side, with red hair and a red-tinted, off-white colored coat. The former looked like she was a bit older than her companion and on the thinner side, with a cream-colored coat and short blue hair. I saw that she was also wearing a sweater, which I found… odd to say the least. No one else was wearing clothes, so it stuck out to me. It also made me a tiny bit self conscious at my lack of clothing, but I pushed that feeling away, telling myself that it didn’t matter because this was a dream.
“What, are we not allowed to pick our favorite niece up from school?” the one with the sweater asked with a light laugh.
“I’m your only niece,” Scootaloo laughed back. “And you don’t need to pick me up from school. You guys haven’t before.”
“Well, if you’re so certain about us not picking you up,” the pegasus continued playfully, “I guess me and Aunt Holiday can just go to Sugarcube corner by ourselves…”
“I- I just said you don’t have to pick me up,” the orange pegasus backtracked quickly. “But I mean, you can if you want.”
“Well, why don’t we head on over now then?” the other pony, Holiday I learned, responded with a kind smile in a very heavy British accent.
“Oh! Oh!” Scootaloo started excitedly. “Can my friends come, too?” she asked.
“Sure they can come,” Holiday said. She then turned to us two, telling us, “It just needs to be okay with your guardians, Sweetie Belle and…”
She took a few steps closer to me and squinted, inspecting me. “I don’t think I’ve seen you with Scootaloo,” she commented. “What’s your name, little filly?”
Something about the way she said that made an unwanted connotation pop into my head. I very much got the impression that her calling me ‘little filly’ was the equivalent of her calling me ‘little girl’, the knowledge of which made me blush hard. I looked back to the teacher for a second only to see her smile and nod at me.
“Aww, shy are we?” the woman continued as I stared at the ground, still blushing.
“That’s Asher,” Scootaloo told her, introducing me. “She’s new in Ponyville.”
“She said her parents aren’t ponies!” Sweetie Belle added.
“That’s very interesting,” she said politely, in a way that was meant to sound surprising, but gave me the impression she’d already been told this. “If your parents don’t mind, you can come and eat with us if you’d like.”
I knew I should just go along with it since this was just a dream. However, I found myself wavering at the prospect. I really didn’t like the idea of being a kid, and was very ill at ease with everyone using ‘she’ and ‘her’ to refer to me. I knew it shouldn’t have mattered since this wasn’t real, but I could feel it getting to me.
“Thank you, but I’d really rather not,” I said shyly, still looking at the ground.
“Oh, is it your parents?” she asked. “Do they need you back home?”
“It’s not them. It’s just…” I started, trailing off. I was feeling extremely paranoid. I knew she was trying to bait me into going by asking about my parents. I didn’t know why I was concerned though. It wasn’t like any of this was real. But that feeling of paranoia remained.
“If your parents don’t mind,” the teacher interjected, “then you should go with them. I think it would be fun, and you could get to spend more time with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.” She then gasped as if something occurred to her and said, “You know what would be really fun? If you had a sleepover with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle! Don’t you think that would be fun, Asher? I’m sure Miss Holiday and Miss Lofty wouldn’t mind.”
I didn’t think it was possible for me to blush harder. I was hating this feeling of being treated like a little girl. I also realized immediately that setting up this situation was what Miss Cheerilee was doing while she was out “taking care of something”. I was probably giving off the vibe of some kid who was homeless or who ran away. She probably wanted to make sure I was safe, and this was her way of doing that.
Before I could protest though, Holiday spoke up. “Lofty and I think it’s a wonderful idea, Miss Cheerilee,” she said in a way that confirmed that this was a preplanned arrangement. “What do you say, Scootaloo?”
“Yeah!” she answered. “The three of us should totally have a sleepover! Right, Sweetie Belle?”
“Yeah! I’m sure my sister, Rarity, won’t mind!”
With that, the group’s eyes turned to me. I was still looking at the ground when Scootaloo spoke. “Come on! It’ll be fun! We can play games and eat snacks and tell stories…”
“Plus, we can teach you about ponies since you said you've never seen anypony else!”
“Yeah!”
I rubbed my hoof behind my leg and exhaled. “I- I don’t know,” I stammered in a whisper. I really didn’t know how I felt about having a sleepover with children, especially little girls, and the idea made me apprehensive. “I really don’t know,” I continued, embarrassed.
“I really think you should go,” Miss Cheerilee told me, looking down at me with an almost sad smile. “I think it would be a lot of fun if you girls had a sleepover together. You could eat some Ponyville food, sleep in a nice, warm bed, and then go home with your parents tomorrow.”
I did my very best to ignore my intense embarrassment at continuously being called a girl and my irrational paranoia at her clearly thinking I was homeless as I closed my eyes. “Just go along with it,” I told myself. “This dream should end soon. At the very least, the day is halfway over, so it’s just another half a day of this at most. Then you’ll wake up at home in bed and forget all about this a few minutes after that.”
“Okay,” I said quietly. “I… I’ll go.”
“Yay!” Scootaloo cheered. “This is gonna be so much fun!”
“Lord,” I silently prayed, “If it’s in your will, please let this dream end by the end of the day. Please don’t let this be real. I ask that you wake me up in my home after I fall asleep.”
The walk over to the restaurant took a little while because of how slowly I was going. The two girls urged me to go faster, enthusiastically telling me about how good the place we were going to was.
“Sugarcube corner is the best restaurant in Ponyville!” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “They have cakes and pies and cookies and ice cream-”
“It’s really good! You’re going to love it!”
“If we ever get there! You’re walking soooo slowly!”
“Um, I don’t want to trip,” I said, looking at my feet, my hooves. “I’m sorry,” I continued.
“I’m sure there’s still going to be treats for us at Sugarcube corner when we get there,” Holiday chuckled. “Let’s let Asher walk at her own pace.” She went silent for a few seconds, then continued, “Actually, why don’t you two run along ahead of us. Lofty, could you go with them?”
“Not a problem,” she told her, and I watched her give her a quick kiss before heading off with them.
I immediately grimaced and felt my cheeks go red at the sight. I felt very bothered by the site for multiple reasons. Part of it was my extreme dislike at what they were doing, and part of it was my own insecurity that their kiss brought me. However, I forced those unpleasant thoughts out of my head. First of all, I wasn’t like that. Plain and simple. Second, being gay wasn’t wrong, the actual act itself was what was wrong. And even if it wasn’t just the act itself that was wrong, this was an animal and animals don’t have to follow the ten commandments. And even if they did, this was a dream, so none of what she did actually mattered.
"How are you feeling, Asher?"
“Oh, why am I so horrible?” I thought. “It’s not like I… ugh. Unless you’re going to say something, stop judging her. You don't get to judge people. Only God gets to judge them. You just get to politely tell them that it's wrong, and it doesn't look like you're doing that. Besides, it’s not like you… ugh! Unless you can say you’re sinless, stop being judgemental. Unless you’re going to speak up and say something to her, stop thinking about it. This isn’t real, and even if it was, it’s not like you can say you’re any… ugh, I hate myself!”
“Asher, are you okay?” Holiday asked me.
I looked back up at her and saw that she had a concerned look on her face. I realized then that I had stopped walking and was clenching my teeth to their breaking point. I took a breath to try and relax myself, responding, “Yes, I’m fine. I’m sorry.”
“Well, why don’t we keep going and meet up with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, okay?” she told me in her thick British accent. “I’m sure they’re waiting for us at Sugarcube Corner already.”
With that, we started our slow progress once again. We were quiet for a few minutes before a building that looked a lot like a gingerbread house started to enter our view. As well, about that time was when she started to try and engage me.
“How are you liking it in Ponyville so far, Asher?” she asked. “I know Miss Cheerilee told me you just got here, but I hope you’re enjoying it so far.”
“It’s good,” I told her simply, staring at my hooves as I walked, making sure that I didn’t trip.
“That’s good. I hope Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are treating you well. I know you girls will have a lot of fun sleeping over tonight.” She paused, and I could almost feel her smiling at me while I still looked at the ground as she continued. “Speaking of which, how are your parents? Miss Cheerilee told me that they aren’t ponies.”
“Yes, that’s true.”
“That’s interesting. Are they here for the Summer Sun Celebration?”
“I- I don’t know what that is.”
“Ah, okay. I guess it is still a bit early for that. Can I ask what kind of creatures they are?” she asked.
“Well, um, they’re tall…” I started before changing my mind. “Actually,” I told her, “I don’t want to talk about it.” I loved my parents, I really did, but I preferred not to think about them when I could because of how different we were from each other.
“Are you sure they’ll be okay with you staying over tonight?” she questioned. “I know you told us they wouldn’t care, but maybe we can talk to them just to be sure.”
“It’s- that’s fine,” I got out. “You don’t need to do that. They won’t care.” There was a brief period of silence before I chuckled nervously.
“Are you sure?” she asked. “If there’s something wrong, you can tell us.”
For a moment, I considered expanding on what I started to tell the rest of them back in the classroom, but decided against it. I didn’t need more of the crazy looks they gave me back there, and it wouldn't change anything anyway. This dream would end when it would end, and that would be that. Whether or not I told her wouldn’t affect that.
She stared silently back at me for a little while as we walked before commenting. “Well, as long as your parents aren’t concerned, then there shouldn’t be an issue.”
I didn’t want to mislead her. I really hated misleading her. I knew that she was concerned about me and that my concern about what she thought was irrational since this wasn’t real, but I was feeling paranoid anyway. I really didn’t want this to be real, and didn’t know what I would do if it was.
“You guys took forever to get here,” Scootaloo said to me, her mouth filled with brownies. “I honestly started to think that maybe you died.”
“We saved you some food though,” Sweetie Belle added.
“We didn’t know what you wanted, so we got you some muffins.”
“Chocolate chip!”
“Um, thank you,” I told the two politely as I stared at the plate of half a dozen muffins. “I don’t mean to be rude, but is there anything else?” I asked.
“What, you don’t like muffins?” Lofty asked me, sounding a bit confused.
“I do,” I explained, “but I was just… expecting something different… I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” she told me. “What do you want to eat?”
“Well, are there any more… lunch-type foods? I’m just not that big a fan of desserts...”
"Oh, well, they don't really serve "lunch" food here... but we can eat someplace else if you'd like," she offered.
"Oh, no, you don't need to do that," I backtracked. "Muffins are fine. Thank you though, uh, Miss Lofty."
"We'll take some if you don't want them," Scootaloo said. I heard Holiday clear her throat and saw her give the girl a look, and she continued, "If you want to share, I mean."
"Sure, you can both have one if you want," I told them. I watched them each excitedly take one, then closed my eyes and whispered an almost inaudible prayer over my food.
"Our Father in heaven, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, we come before you to thank you for the food you've provided for us to eat. Please bless this food for the nourishment of our body through your loving Son. In Christ Jesus's name we pray, amen."
I reopened my eyes to see four sets of eyes casting weird stares at me, and immediately felt very self-conscious. I'd whispered prayers in public before, and never received stares from people because of it. I was feeling very uneasy right then from their looks.
"Uhhhh... what were you doing?" Sweetie Belle asked me curiously.
For some reason, I felt myself tense up, as though I was doing something wrong. "What do you mean?" I asked back.
"You had your eyes closed and were whispering something."
"Yeah, you did that in class, too," Scootaloo
I felt very on the spot at that moment and very uncomfortable. "Well, um, I was just..."
“OH MY GOSH!” someone suddenly yelled, startling me. The next thing I knew, I was face to face with a bright pink mare with blue eyes and a very creepy smile. I fell out of my chair and onto my back in surprise at her sight.
“I’ve never seen you in Ponyville before! What’s your name? Where are you from? Do you have any friends yet? How old are you?”
On and on she went, asking another question before I even had a chance to answer the previous. Someone coming up like this would normally startle me, but with how sudden it happened, it had me frightened to the point where I almost peed myself like a little kid. Almost. I luckily wasn’t a little kid and had enough self control to not do that. As much as I was disliking this dream, I would have really disliked wetting the bed in real life. Still, though, the pink pony was freaking me out.
“Oh! I know!” she said as she hopped up and down like a rabbit, something that shouldn’t have been possible for her to do. “I should throw you a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ surprise party! Don’t you think that’s a good idea? Huh?”
Suddenly, her face was against mine, our noses touching. She looked at me like she was waiting for an answer, and I stared back at her wide eyed at the unexpected gesture. I didn’t know who she was, but she was entirely too close for comfort.
"Uh, Pinkie?" Scootaloo said as I started to back away, speechless. "I think you're scaring her."
"I'm sorry!" The pink horse giggled. "I just get so excited to meet somepony new!" Then, she gasped again, saying, "I just got the perfect idea for the surprise party I'm going to throw for you! You're going to have so much fun! I have to get to work!" With that, she ran off, disappearing again.
“Uhhhh, what was that?” I asked, still laying on the ground, still a bit startled by what had happened.
"That was Pinkie being Pinkie," Lofty told me with a light laugh. "Meeting somepony new is like a holiday to her."
“Oh, don’t mind her,” Holiday said. “Pinkie Pie's a very nice mare. She just gets a little over-excited sometimes She does that to everypony she meets.”
“She throws a party for every new pony in Ponyville,” Scootaloo added. “She won’t let you leave without one.”
I like your writing. I still can't seem to feel sorry for Asher. Are we supposed to feel sorry for him?
Also, I agree, Starlight is best pony.
10352390
No, I'm not writing Asher to be somepony who should be felt sorry for (at least, not right now)
I'm still enjoying this. Though it sort of feels like chapters were split up.
10352466
Oof, now that you say that, I can see that. I'm sorry : (
10352469
Well, I mean that's fine. I'm curious though, had you written these as longer chapters and then split them up later? I can understand if you did, but it's typically easy to notice.
10352480
I have a page of notes for what I want to do, and write and edit the chapter directly before I post it. Each post is written and posted before the next post is started.
10352482
Okay then.
And so the Pink terror makes it's debut.
You really are writting something amazing here. Do you plan to make Lofty and Holiday adopt her or will she be staing there really only for the night?
10352487
At least for tonight, likely longer, maybe not forever
This is getting more and more interesting with every chapter released.
Oof, barely escaped that spiral. Now having to calm affronted sensibilities in addition to resolving cognitive dissonance? Something needs to be done before a mind gets shattered!
I'm still invested in the story, but the more I see into Ashers thoughts the more broken I think he is .
I'm far more interested in what cheerilee is up to. She clearly knows something is not right and knows about years of ponyville weirdness. Not to mention the layers of child protection that teachers are accustomed too.
The story itself is good. But religion in MLP, is not.
10353990
I'm glad you think it's a good story, I'm sorry you're unhappy with its subject matter : ( I will admit, I was very hesitant in starting this story for fear of how it would be received on both sides.
I'm fairly certain though that where I'm planning to have this story go isn't where you're expecting. I do hope you keep reading it regardless
10354569
I plan to continue reading the story.
10352400
That seems rather odd, and implies we should be xheering for him to emasculated and lose hope of getting his life back. Hopefully that doesn't happen.
Also, these ponies are seeming slightly sketchy to me. He already obviously doesn't want to go along with all this but is only doing it because they're making him. Shouldn't they be looking for his parents? There's no indication they think him abandoned, they're just taking a foal that isn't thiers and doesn't wsnt to go with them.
10362064
I just mean that we're not feeling sorry for him yet because, from his perspective, nothing is wrong, as he's actively denying that anything is wrong. What I'm saying is that we don't feel bad yet because he doesn't feel bad yet. Day 2 will get more into his first "real" reaction to Equestria.
Interested to see how long Asher can keep up his secrecy before he has no other option than to tell them the entire truth. Still following :P
10353990
mlpforums.com/uploads/post_images/img-2013584-1-640px-Sweetie_Belle_jumps_on_Mr._Waddle's_back_S2E17.png
Also a fair percentage of people are religious so having someone in a HiE come from that background shouldn't be seen as that unusual.
Inside of Starlight, it's too bright to see.
10418124
Quite, it's like they gave a small nod to such existing, but it's not a focus, and it's never seen or heard from again within the show that I am aware of.
Going to disagree with some of the other commenters. I like seeing religious characters in fimfiction stories. It's such an obvious thing to do, it's an interesting dyanamic, and it's done so rarely. How does a believer in a monotheistic religion react to seeing physical gods like the Royal Sisters raise the sun and moon? How do they deal with a non-anthrocentric universe? How do they adapt from a belief system that the world exists to serve humans, to a world where humans don't even exist?
You don't have to believe what a character believes to see these as interesting questions.
That said, a lot of what's going on here is making it difficult for me to buy into it. the delivery lacks credibility. For example, he thinks he's dreaming? Ok, ask yourself...in your entire life have you ever experienced an existential crisis in a dream? Have you ever had to tell yourself over and over that it's just a dream? Have you ever wandered around a dream in a perpetual state of anxiety like Asher is doing here?
I never have.
In my experience, a dream can be utterly full of otherworldy things, and it generally never occurs to me to question the craziness. Think about it. If you had a dream about a plush computer speaker doll flying through the ocean and dancing on fish heads...would you question it? Or would you just go with it, because dreams have those kinds of things?
So why is Asher constantly freaking out about every little thing? Have you ever had a dream where you had to internally debate whether to lie to people because you were terrified of the consequences of them knowing the true? I'm guessing you haven't. Have you ever experienced body anxiety in a dream? Again, probably not. He's not acting like this is a dream, but he keeps insisting that it is. Is he lying to himself? Is this all massive denial? His behavior doesn't seem reasonable.
Now consider his reactions to ponies kissing. "Oh, dear goodness it's sinful!"
Come on dude...no. Imagine that you, right now, are the religious guy. You see two horses licking each other's faces. Do you immediately freak out about sin? No, of course not. Animals lick each other all the time in real life. You know this. You don't freak out over it. You probably don't even stop to ask what sex they are. It would never even occur to you. Even if you are the one the horse is kissing. Think about it. Imagine that a pastor goes to a stable and a stallion comes over and licks his face. In real life. Does the pastor throw a hissy fit and whine about sin? No, of course not. He giggles and laughs and pushes the horse away to avoid the slobber, then affectionately pats his neck and thinks nothing of it. Because it's a horse.
The sleepover? Again, his reaction is silly. Imagine somebody brings a couple kittens over to your house. Do you think "oh, dear goodness! How improper for cats so young to sleep with adults?" "Oh no! the kittens are female! I can't have them sleeping in the room with me! It's not right!"
Nobody would think this.
The setup has potential. But nothing about his reaction to anything that's happening comes across as believable. He feels artificial. Every step of the way, every reaction he has...religious or not, a real human would not act the way this character is acting.
10663654
Do remember, Denial is not just a river in Egypt!
Prays to God and Jesus--gets the pink demon, instead. If that doesn't shake his faith, NOTHING will.
10354569
I do like the story so far. I do agree with some of the other comments. It’s just such an under served concept that I don’t think I’ve really seen in other fics. I mean the only part That bothers me is that I am a Lutheran and the part of the prayer talking about Abraham I’ve never heard in a standard prayer or service in that context. Otherwise I find this fic intriguing keep it up!
10663654
Can't speak for most of that, but I have had exestential crisis in dreams
10655265
Well, given how alicorns are royalty, and have special responsibilities that include day-cycle and dream manipulation, surely there are groups that consider them the gods?
Not exactly a Ten Commandments issue. Perhaps a Greatest and Second Greatest Commandment issue… more the Second.
5 chapters of pure, absolute, nothing, you can't be more boring if you try, her 'this is just a dream' is just annoying at this point, unnecessary drama because the author apparently really has nothing better to write
11709191
More likely I didn't know how to write a story yet because it was only my 3rd story on the website. I've said many times that if I could go back to 2020 and change the story to be faster paced, I would.